Always in my Heart (Beach View Boarding House 5)

by Ellie Dean

  ‘That’s what Anthony said.’ She looked at her watch, quickly finished her cup of tea and reached for her thick woollen cloak. ‘I must dash or I’ll be late, and then Matron will be down on me like a ton of bricks. Tell Fran I’ll meet her in the canteen at lunch-break.’

  Peggy grinned as the girl rushed out of the house. With all her Anthony this and Anthony that, anyone would think Suzy was in love. But at least her happiness was catching, and that small interlude had cheered Peggy no end.

  Ron and Jim returned just as Cordelia, Fran and Rita had sat down to their breakfast. The men looked exhausted after their long night on duty, but Jim was due to start his shift at the factory in less than three hours, so she quickly put the porridge in front of them and went to fetch the newspapers from the letter box.

  Silence fell as they read the headlines and the following articles. Churchill’s speech had been much commented upon by the columnists, and there was a good deal of condemnation of the Government for not having had the foresight to ensure that the Far East was adequately covered by air and sea.

  ‘Come on, Cordelia,’ said Peggy after breakfast was over and everyone had gone their separate ways. ‘Cover your hair with this scarf. I know they’re not due for several weeks yet, but we need to prepare rooms for your family, and I need help to get them straight as they’ve been empty for so long.’

  Cordelia eyed her knowingly but didn’t argue. With the scarves knotted over their hair, they were soon on their way upstairs armed with fresh linen, the Hoover and a basket full of cleaning materials and dusters.

  The large room at the front looked out over the nearby rooftops to a narrow glimpse of the sea, which glittered in the early spring sunshine. With two single beds, a gas fire, wardrobe and chest of drawers, it would accommodate the two young girls very well. The room next door was a single, with a window overlooking the back garden – it was always a bit dark in there, and Peggy had tried to combat the gloom with white-painted walls and cheerful yellow curtains and bedspread.

  The morning was spent scrubbing, airing, polishing and making beds. Now the windows gleamed, the beds looked welcoming and the furniture smelled lovely with beeswax. ‘I’ll get Jim to bring up the two spare armchairs from the dining room,’ said Peggy as she flicked the duster needlessly over the spotless windowsill. ‘The girls might need a bit of time to settle in, and they can sit in here if it all gets a bit much downstairs.’

  ‘I don’t know about you, Peggy, but I could do with a cuppa,’ replied Cordelia.

  ‘Then I suggest we put on our coats and hats and walk to the little café opposite the hospital in Camden Road and treat ourselves to tea and scones. I think we’ve earned it, don’t you?’

  Cordelia smiled. ‘You don’t have to spend money trying to cheer me up, Peggy dear, but that sounds a lovely idea. I could do with some fresh air, and it’s so much easier to walk when I have the pram to hold onto.’

  Cordelia put on her hat and coat and waited patiently in the chair by the range until Daisy had been changed and fed and was warmly tucked into her pram.

  They set off at a slow pace, with Cordelia pushing the pram and Peggy keeping a steadying hand on it to steer it straight. The wind was quite blustery as it tore up from the sea and the gulls were wheeling and screaming overhead – but there were shoots of snowdrops and early daffodils pushing through the grass verges, and the sun was bright, cheering them up no end.

  They stopped frequently to exchange pleasantries and discuss the fall of Singapore, and it was almost half an hour before they reached the little teashop that was squeezed between the ironmonger’s and the chemist in Camden Road. It wasn’t as grand as the teashop on the top floor of Plummers, the High Street department store, but it was cosy and warm with a far more relaxed atmosphere. There wasn’t room for the pram, so Peggy parked it by the window where she could keep an eye on Daisy, who was asleep.

  They were greeted by a dozen or so familiar faces and the wonderful smell of fresh baking. Finding a table close to the window, they settled down and ordered a pot of coffee, which would be a huge treat, and scones and jam, which was an even bigger treat. Peggy and Cordelia knew most of the other diners, and the conversation flowed back and forth easily as they waited for their food.

  And then Doris walked past, glanced into the window and headed straight inside. ‘I’m surprised you can afford this sort of thing,’ she said with a sniff as she arrived at their table.

  ‘Hello, Doris,’ said Peggy with brittle breeziness. ‘I’m very well, thanks for asking. How are you?’

  ‘Rather put out, if you must know,’ she said waspishly. She pulled off her leather gloves and, after a momentary hesitation, brushed non-existent crumbs from a chair and sat down at the next table. ‘That’s why I was on my way to see you.’

  Peggy eyed her warily, wondering what she’d done now to upset her sister.

  ‘Anthony told me he was going to visit you yesterday afternoon, and although he’d promised to be home in time for a glass of sherry with may friend, Lady Charlmondley, he didn’t get in until after midnight.’ She glanced around the room, then continued, in strangled vowels, ‘Lady Aurelia was most understanding, but then she and I are very close friends.’ This was said just loudly enough for everyone to hear.

  Peggy didn’t dare catch Cordelia’s eye and she had to bite her lip to stop giggling. ‘Well, he is over thirty,’ she managed finally, ‘and probably found something more interesting to do after he left us than sit about drinking dubious sherry with a couple of old women.’

  A few hastily muffled titters went round the room and Doris reddened. ‘It would never occur to may Anthony to think in such a disrespectful way,’ she declared. ‘Ay have brought him up to behave with impeccable manners. Something must have happened to distract him.’

  Suzy had certainly done that, thought Peggy. ‘I’m sure you and Aurelia managed quite well without him,’ she said as the waitress brought their order.

  ‘That is not the point, Margaret. May Anthony has never let me down before unless it was something unavoidable like his important work for the MOD. Ay mean to get to the bottom of this, you mark may words.’

  The waitress finished clattering china and cutlery and turned towards Doris, notepad and pencil at the ready.

  ‘Ay’ll have coffee, toasted teacake and jam,’ said Doris.

  ‘Sorry love,’ said the middle-aged waitress, who didn’t seem to realise that no one called Doris love – especially not underlings like waitresses, ‘but that’s the last of the coffee, and there ain’t no teacakes to be ’ad. I can do yer a bit of toast, if you like.’

  Doris eyed her with disdain, pulled her gloves back on and stood up. ‘Then Ay will take my custom elsewhere,’ she said haughtily, and without a goodbye to Peggy or Cordelia, swept out of the teashop.

  ‘She’s a one, ain’t she?’ said the waitress with a frown. ‘Did I say summink to upset ’er?’

  Peggy smiled back at her. ‘Doris is easily upset,’ she said lightly. ‘I wouldn’t take it personally.’

  They settled down to enjoy the delicious coffee and scones, and once the pot was empty and the final crumbs had been gleaned from the plate, Peggy sat back and lit a cigarette. It would be lovely to have the time and money to do this once a week, she thought as she relaxed in the warm ambience. But then she wasn’t Doris, and counted herself lucky that such a treat was possible maybe a couple of times a year.

  Half an hour later they reluctantly left the warm fug of the tea room and began the short walk home. The sun was much lower in the sky now and almost obliterated by the thick, dark clouds that were gathering. The seagulls were still screeching from the rooftops and lamp posts, but the wind had changed direction, and was now coming from the north, threatening snow.

  Cordelia held grimly to the pram handle as they slowly made their way back to Beach View, and Peggy had to put a steadying arm round her waist to stop her from being blown over.

  They reached the back gate all in one p
iece only to be almost knocked down by Harvey, who came tearing out of the basement to greet them. Leaping up, his great paws reached their shoulders as he tried to lick their faces.

  ‘Get down, Harvey, for goodness’ sake,’ snapped Peggy as she shoved him away. ‘You’ll have us both in the vegetable patch in a minute.’

  Harvey was just too pleased to see them to take any notice, and he rested his front paws on the side of the pram and proceeded to wash Daisy’s face.

  Daisy gurgled and batted at his long nose, and Peggy grabbed his collar. ‘Ron,’ she shouted. ‘Will you come and get your dog?’

  Ron appeared in the doorway, his expression rather more solemn than usual as he carefully made his way down the garden path. He grabbed Harvey and hauled him off the pram. ‘Sorry, Peg,’ he muttered with a slur. ‘I’ll clean those paw marks off for you later.’

  Peggy eyed him sharply as she caught the smell of whisky on his breath. ‘You’ve been drinking,’ she said flatly and pushed the pram into the basement. ‘It’s a bit early, isn’t it?’

  ‘Jim and Frank are here,’ he said. ‘We’ve been drowning our sorrows, so we have,’ he said with a lopsided grin.

  ‘Oh God, what now?’

  He said nothing as he shooed Harvey upstairs and then helped her lift the pram into the kitchen.

  One glance told Peggy something was up, for Jim and Frank were sitting at the table with a half-empty bottle of whisky between them. She made no comment as she pulled off her coat, helped Cordelia out of hers and settled her in her usual chair by the range.

  Peggy’s pulse was racing and she began to regret the rich afternoon treat as her stomach clenched in dread. All three men liked a drink, but not this early in the day – and not when they were supposed to be at work. Something was very wrong. ‘What’s happened?’ she asked sharply.

  Frank was a mountain of a man and he seemed to fill the small kitchen chair beside the much slimmer Jim, but they both had the dark hair and blue eyes of the Reillys, and now they both wore the same sour expressions. ‘We’ve had our call-up papers,’ he said. ‘Arrived at the factory with the second post.’

  Peggy sat down hard on the chair beside Jim. ‘I thought you’d be deferred call-up now you’re both working at the munitions factory?’

  ‘Aye, so did we, but with women doing the job equally as well, the powers-that-be decided we’d be of more use elsewhere.’ Jim slopped more whisky into their glasses, his expression morose.

  ‘But you did your bit in the last war,’ protested Peggy. ‘Where are they sending you?’

  ‘We have to report to Southfields barracks in Yorkshire,’ said Frank, his voice slurred from the amount of whisky he’d been drinking. ‘It seems the Army can’t do without us again – our experience is much needed to reinforce the war effort.’

  ‘But Frank, you only have a couple of years before you turn fifty. Surely you won’t be expected to—?’

  ‘We’ll both be at the mercy of the Army, Peg,’ interrupted Jim. ‘After a short retraining course in Yorkshire, we’ll be given our orders – and then we’ll know more about what we’ll be doing.’

  Peggy poured some whisky into a clean glass, her hand trembling so badly that she spilled some on the oilcloth that covered the old table. ‘When do you have to leave?’ she said, the words barely audible through the lump in her throat.

  ‘Three days’ time,’ he replied, reaching for her hand.

  ‘But you can’t,’ she gasped. ‘Daisy and I need you here – and it’s too soon – much too soon.’

  ‘Ach,’ he said, making light of the situation. ‘That’s the Army for you, Peg. They say jump, and you ask how high.’

  ‘It’s not fair,’ she whispered. ‘You’ve already done your bit. Surely they won’t send you off to fight?’

  ‘It’s not something either of us relish,’ said Jim with brittle joviality, ‘but whatever they decide to do with us, this war will soon be over with me and Frank on the case, and I’ll be under your feet again before you know it.’

  Peggy swallowed the whisky and felt it burn all the way down her throat and into her chest as she held tightly to Jim’s hand. Churchill had talked of sacrifice and courage – of remaining strong and stoic in the face of conflict. She had thought she had nothing else to give, but this was the sacrifice she had never believed she’d have to make. It was the same sacrifice that a million women had made before her, and yet the man she’d loved for so long was facing an even harder challenge, and in that moment of awful clarity, she realised she must dredge up all her courage and fortitude and keep smiling through.

  Despite the amount of whisky he’d drunk, Jim remained stone-cold sober, and after Frank had left the house to stagger back home across the hills, he’d telephoned Somerset, and had managed to speak to his sons and daughter for a few precious minutes before the pips went and he was cut off.

  There were tears in his eyes as he replaced the receiver, and Peggy took him in her arms and held him until he was more himself again.

  ‘Bob and Charlie were full of questions,’ he said as they returned to the kitchen. Peggy noticed thankfully that Daisy had drifted back to sleep again. ‘But our Anne was trying hard not to cry – I could hear it in her voice.’

  ‘There’ll be plenty of tears, Jim, but it’s only because we love you so much,’ she murmured. ‘Oh Jim,’ she sighed. ‘What on earth am I going to do without you?’

  He pulled her onto his lap as he sat by the range. ‘You’ll do as you’ve always done,’ he said softly. ‘You’ll work like a trooper and battle away, worrying over everyone and everything until you’re so tired you’ll fall into a deep sleep and not have time to think.’

  He ran his finger down the line of her cheek and grinned. ‘You’ll not have me snoring in your ear, or getting under your feet – and I’ll not be run ragged trying to do all the jobs you set for me.’

  ‘I’ve yet to see you break out in a sweat to do any of the jobs around here,’ she said with mock severity. ‘I’m still waiting for the bedroom windows to be fixed so they don’t let in the draught and rattle all night.’

  His dark eyes twinkled as he held her close. ‘Perhaps we ought to go and check on those bedroom windows – just to see if there’s anything I can do to stop them from rattling.’

  She knew that look in his eye and giggled. ‘Oh, I think that’s a very good idea,’ she murmured.

  He gathered her into his arms and carried her out through the hall and into the bedroom, nudging the door closed behind him.

  Chapter Twelve

  The Monarch of the Glen

  The Monarch of the Glen had been stripped to the bare minimum so she could carry thousands of troops and their equipment to the world’s trouble spots. There were 1,500 women and children on board after she’d left Singapore, and it soon became clear that the Captain and his crew had done their best to accommodate them despite the lack of comfortable facilities.

  The first few hours on board had been tearful and rather frightening after that Japanese air attack, and, like the others, Sarah and Jane were disorientated and heartsick at leaving their loved ones behind. The crew were kind but firm as they ordered everyone to put on their life jackets and make a bundle of essentials in case they had to quickly board a lifeboat. They were herded down below deck where hundreds of mattresses had been laid on the floor, and told that this was where they would have to stay until the danger of enemy attack was past.

  It was dark and poorly ventilated below deck, with the noise of hundreds of frightened children and bewildered women drowning out the steady thud of the ship’s great engines. But this precautionary measure proved wise, for within hours of sailing they’d heard the shrill blast of the ship’s air-raid siren. The Japanese bombers had returned to finish what they’d started back in Singapore harbour.

  Sarah and Jane had clung together as they felt the ship zigzag to avoid their attackers. Bombs exploded all around them and the ship’s guns boomed out, making the hull of the ship reso
nate with the noise. There were muffled gasps of fear, the wail of a baby and the terrified cries of toddlers, but everyone kept a tight hold on their terror, knowing it would spread like a forest fire and consume them all if it was released.

  The attack seemed to last for hours as they sat there in the darkness, but the all-clear finally sounded and there was an audible sigh of relief as the ship continued on her way.

  Two more days and nights passed down in the bowels of the ship, and like the other women, Sarah and Jane tried to make the best of things, and not dwell on the possibility that they could be shadowed by an enemy submarine, or that the Japs would attack them again. Pushing the mattresses together, Sarah sorted through their cases and used their jackets to make the emergency bundles they would have to carry everywhere. The dresses with their few pieces of jewellery sewn into the hems were carefully rolled alongside the small box of first-aid supplies Amah had insisted they take, and they added cardigans and spare sun hats, and the precious book which contained all the family photographs. Tying the bundles with thick string, Sarah warned Jane that she must never let her bundle out of sight.

  The mood below deck was anxious and rather depressed, but when morning came on the third day they were released from the cloying darkness of their prison, and they poured gratefully onto the decks and breathed in the sea breeze, lifting their faces to the warm sun as hundreds of children raced about the decks in the sheer joy of being free again.

  Sarah held Jane’s hand as they stood next to their bundles and life jackets and looked out at the ocean which stretched to every horizon. ‘I want to go home,’ whispered Jane.

  ‘So do I,’ murmured Sarah, as she put her arm round her sister’s shoulder. ‘But we can’t, not until the Japanese have been beaten.’

  ‘Do you think our house and the plantation are still there? I miss my bedroom, and Amah and my lizard,’ Jane said, her voice wavering as she tried to quell her tears. ‘But most of all I miss Mummy and Daddy. Do you think Mummy’s better now? Will she be on a ship too?’