A Father in the Making

by Marta Perry

  Anne’s gaze met Mitch’s as she joined them. Her eyes were bright with tears. She touched Davey lightly on the shoulder. “Hi, Davey. I’m glad you’re okay.”

  Davey nodded. Then he slid into the cruiser. Anne brushed a tear away with the back of her hand and followed him.

  Thank you, Lord. He got in and picked up the mike to let Wanda know to end the search. Thank you.

  Davey fidgeted.

  “Mitch?”

  “Yeah?” He glanced at the boy.

  “People were looking for me?”

  “You bet people were looking for you. What’d you think, we’d just let you go?” Mitch gestured down the street, where every porch light was on. “See those lights? They’re for you. Because people heard you were out there and wanted you to know it was okay to come to them.”

  He could see the muscles in Davey’s throat work. “You sure?” The kid’s voice wavered.

  “I’m sure.”

  With a little sigh, Davey leaned back against the seat, hands relaxing.

  Mitch saw Anne surreptitiously wipe away another tear.

  Davey would still be a handful; he was sure of that. But if this night had convinced the kid that people cared what happened to him, they’d come a long way.

  * * *

  Anne climbed a little stiffly from the car when they pulled up in front of Mitch’s. They’d stopped at the burger hut for sandwiches, and Davey had wolfed down two. Now he looked so tired he could hardly hold his eyes open, and she was in about the same shape.

  “I’ll say good night now.”

  Mitch caught her arm. “Come in for a minute.” His smile flickered.

  She wanted to stay. She wanted to go. Finally she nodded.

  As soon as they got inside and he’d disappeared up the stairs with Davey, she had second thoughts. What was the point of this? They’d said everything there was to say that afternoon, and still Mitch had shut her out. He had been ashamed or embarrassed about kissing her. Could she believe any of that had changed, just because they’d come together over Davey’s crisis?

  She picked up her jacket, then tossed it over the back of the chair. She wouldn’t be a coward about this. If Mitch wanted to talk, they’d talk.

  She was sitting in the living room, leafing through a copy of a police magazine, when he came back downstairs. He’d shed his jacket, and the sleeves of his flannel shirt were rolled back, as if he’d been helping Davey get washed up. He glanced at the magazine in her hands.

  “Getting up to date on the latest weapon regs?”

  She shook her head, let the magazine drop onto the end table. “How is he?”

  “Okay.” Mitch sank to the couch next to her and leaned back, closing his eyes. The lines of strain were obvious on his face. It had been a difficult night for all of them—Mitch, Davey, the searchers who’d looked and prayed.

  “Thank heaven you thought of looking there.”

  Mitch sat up. “Thank heaven is right. Something led us straight to him.”

  Yes. Something... Someone...had. “A lot of people were praying.”

  “I know.” His face relaxed a little. “Thanks for your help tonight. That’s what I wanted to say.” His hand closed over hers. “Thank you. For everything.”

  “You’re welcome. You and Davey both.”

  “I don’t want to let him down.”

  Was that what was eating at him? Doubts over his ability to care for Davey? “You won’t.”

  He shrugged. “Donovans don’t have a very good record.” His tone was light, but she knew him well enough to hear the pain under the words. “My dad left. My mother escaped into a bottle. Link turns tail at the sight of responsibility.”

  Her heart hurt for him. He was so sure, so in control on the outside. But inside he measured himself by his family. That was obviously behind his determination not to have a family of his own. The fear he’d turn out just like his own father.

  “Maybe...” She went slowly, trying to find the right words. “Maybe you inherited everyone’s share of responsibility. Assist, protect, defend. Like that crest in your office.”

  His smile flickered. “Military Police. I adopted that motto when I went in. They’re good rules. They let you know what’s expected of you.”

  She could see so clearly the boy he must have been, trying to make up for a bad start by finding something solid to hang on to. “We all need that.”

  “I need something else, too.” His eyes darkened. “I need to say how sorry I am. About today.”

  The quarrel seemed to have taken place an eternity ago. “It’s all right.”

  “No, it’s not.” He smiled wryly. “You got to see the worst aspect of having a brother. He knows me better than anyone, so he can push all my buttons. I was wrong to let that come between us.”

  His fingers moved softly against her wrist, tracing circles on the delicate skin. Each touch seemed to go right to her heart.

  “Yes.” Her breath caught on the word. “You were wrong.”

  His dark brown gaze was intent on her face. “Will you let me make up for it?”

  Some faint warning voice told her she was getting in too deep, in danger of being swept away, like that story he’d told her.

  She could retreat to safer ground. Go back to being the person who’d decided against having a man in her life. It would be safer, but it wouldn’t be better.

  She touched his cheek, feeling warm skin, the faint prickle of beard. He put his hand over hers, pressing her palm against his skin.

  Her heart was so full that it stole the words. But she knew she loved him. She’d seen it coming, tried to avoid it, but nothing had done any good. She loved him.

  Mitch drew her into his arms. She could feel the steady beat of his heart as she wrapped her arms around him. Her own heart threatened to overflow. She held him tightly. They had both come home at last.

  * * *

  Mitch lingered at the kitchen table over a second cup of coffee the next morning. Davey had gone off to school a little heavy-eyed, grumbling a bit, but he’d gone. At least he’d seemed confident Mitch would be there when he came home.

  He lifted the cup to his lips, smiling. Funny thing, how he’d found himself smiling at odd moments ever since last night. Ever since he’d held Anne in his arms and dared to think about having a family.

  Given the way Anne felt about Emilie, given the family wars she’d been through herself, she wouldn’t trust a new relationship easily. But she’d taken the first painful steps from behind her safety barricades, and so had he.

  Noise in the hallway wiped the smile from his face. It was stupid of him to tense at the very sound of his brother’s footsteps.

  If just knowing Anne could bring him this far from the person he’d been, he ought to be able to get through one breakfast conversation with his brother without snapping. He could try, anyway.

  Link wandered through the doorway, spotted the coffeepot and made straight for it. He didn’t glance at Mitch until he’d taken several long gulps from his mug.

  Maybe it was up to Mitch to get the conversational ball rolling. “How did your reunion go?” At least he hadn’t heard any damage reports, so it couldn’t have been too wild a time.

  An expression of disgust crossed Link’s face. “You wouldn’t believe it. The old gang is going domestic. Getting married, buying houses, having kids... I thought I was in an old television rerun.”

  Mitch grinned. “Wedding bells are breaking up the old gang, huh?”

  “That might be okay for them.” Link responded with an answering grin that reminded Mitch of the little brother who’d once looked up to him. “But it’s definitely not in my plans.”

  “What are your plans?”

  Link shrugged. “The company wanted to send me to Anchorage on a project, but I turned it down.” He shook his head. “N
ot for me. A two-year commitment, responsibility of crew chief...definitely not for me.”

  That was Link all over: running from any hint of something settled. “A little responsibility isn’t a bad thing,” Mitch said. He tried to keep the words light, but he could tell from the tightening of Link’s expression that he didn’t succeed.

  “This town is getting to you, big brother. Be responsible, settle down, act just like everybody else and maybe they’ll like you. Maybe they’ll forget what you came from.”

  His hand tightened on the coffee cup. “That’s not what’s important to me.”

  “Sure it is.” Link slammed his mug down on the table. “You think I don’t know? I watched you at that fall festival when the mayor called you up on stage, said what a great job you’d done. You were eating it up. You’d have licked his boots for that praise.”

  Link’s words moved slowly through his mind. The foliage festival Link meant wasn’t the most recent one. It was the one before.

  His heart turned to lead. It was the one that was held when Tina Mallory was in town, when Link wasn’t supposed to have been anywhere near Bedford Creek.

  He looked at his brother. “That was the festival before last. I thought you weren’t here then.”

  He could see the wheels turning in Link’s mind, see him backpedaling. See him deciding it didn’t matter.

  “Yeah, so? That was after you’d told me never to darken your door again. I didn’t bother to tell you I was in town. Place was so crowded with tourists, you’d never have noticed unless I’d walked right up to you. I wanted to see my buddies.”

  “And who else did you see?” The words tasted like ashes in his mouth.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean Tina Mallory.” He could see it, rolling inexorably toward him. Link and Tina Mallory. Emilie. He almost didn’t need to ask. He knew the truth, bone deep, and it was crushing him.

  “Tina?” Link shrugged, turning away, not meeting his eyes. “Don’t know her.”

  “You did.” Mitch stood, feeling as if he forced his way upward against a huge weight. He pressed his fists against the table. “You knew her. You went out with her. You left her pregnant.”

  “Pregnant?” Link’s face lost its color. “What are you talking about?”

  “Tina Mallory. Cute little kid who worked at the café. A little kid you got pregnant.” He hammered the words at his brother. “She’s dead now, if you care.”

  “No!”

  He could see Link’s mind working feverishly, trying to find an excuse, an evasion. He felt suddenly very tired, as if the past had rolled over him and flattened him, and he’d never be right again.

  “Don’t bother to deny it. I can see the truth in your face.”

  A hunted look flickered in Link’s eyes. “All right, I dated her a couple times. We got close. But I didn’t know anything about a baby. I went back to the job. Tried to call her maybe a couple months later, but she’d left town. I never heard from her again. She never told me anything about any baby.”

  Given Link’s history, the words rang true, but it didn’t seem to make much difference whether his brother had known about the baby or not. He could only think it was the end of everything.

  “It wasn’t my fault!” Link slammed his fist down on the table. “I know what you’re thinking, but it wasn’t just me. It was her, too.”

  “She was a kid.”

  “She was old enough to know what she was doing. And if you think you’re going to tangle me up in this, you’re wrong.” He thrust away from the table and reached the back door almost before he finished speaking.

  “Wait a minute.” Mitch reached toward him. “We have to talk about this. For once in your life you have to face your responsibility.”

  “You talk about it, big brother. I’m getting out of here.” He flung open the door before Mitch could get around the table, then looked back over his shoulder. “And think about this, while you’re at it. The only reason she even went out with me was because I was your brother.”

  That stopped Mitch in his tracks. “What are you talking about?”

  “That’s right.” The old mocking, defiant Link was back. “She went out with me because she had a crush on you, and you never gave her the time of day.”

  He slammed out.

  Mitch stared at the door, pain wrapping around his heart. It looked as if he and Link, between them, had just proved that everything people had ever said about the Donovans was true.

  That was what Anne would think. Anne. A fresh spasm of pain hit him.

  He had to tell her, even though it might mean the end of everything between them.

  There was only one thing he could do before he faced Anne with the truth. He’d catch up with Link and make him agree to sign the papers before he disappeared again. At least he could spare Anne that much pain.

  She’d take the baby... His niece. An even stronger pain slammed his heart, shattering it. She’d take Emilie and the papers, and leave. He’d never see them again.

  He wasn’t sure how he’d go about living with that.

  Chapter 15

  “There we go, sweetheart.” Anne snapped Emilie’s romper. “All clean and dry and happy.”

  Emilie waved both arms, seeming ready to launch herself into space from her diaper change. Anne lifted her, planting a kiss on the soft round cheek.

  “That’s my girl. We’ll just go downstairs and maybe...”

  Maybe they’d look out the window and see Mitch? That was what she was thinking; she couldn’t deny it.

  Happiness seemed to bubble up inside her. Last night had been frightening, but it had been good, too. Thanks to Davey, she and Mitch had found their way past some of the barriers between them.

  Arms snug around Emilie, she started down the steps. For the last eight months, she’d believed having Emilie in her life was all she’d ever need to be happy. Now...now she was looking beyond just herself and Emilie, to the possibility of a real family.

  Even a month ago she wouldn’t have thought it possible. But she’d already trusted Mitch more than she’d ever trusted anyone in her life. Maybe she really could take that next step, a step toward the kind of emotional intimacy she’d never imagined having. If she and Mitch could reach that, they’d share the kind of love she’d never believed would be hers.

  The telephone rang in the hall below, and Kate rushed in from the kitchen to snatch it up, smiling at Anne and Emilie as they came down the stairs.

  “Good afternoon. The Willows.”

  She listened for a moment, then held the receiver out to Anne.

  “It’s for you. Let me take that sweet child while you’re talking.”

  Anne exchanged Emilie for the telephone. Kate, cooing to the baby, walked back toward the kitchen.

  Anne lifted the receiver. Mitch? There was no reason to think he’d call this afternoon, but even so her heart beat a little faster. “Hello?”

  “This is Marcy Brown.” The girl’s voice was hesitant. “You wrote me about Tina?”

  Her stomach turned over, and she gripped the receiver. Marcy Brown, at last. “I’m so glad you called. And sorry I had to break such bad news to you. The thing is, Marcy, I need to find the baby’s birth father in order to finalize the adoption. I’m hoping you can tell me something about him.”

  Silence seemed to press along the connection.

  “I—I don’t...well, didn’t Tina tell you who it was?”

  Careful, careful. “Tina mentioned one name. Mitch Donovan. But I know he’s not the father, and I can’t begin to guess why Tina would lie about it.”

  Marcy’s sigh came over the line clearly. “She said that, did she? I told her not to, but she wouldn’t listen.”

  “You know, then.” The blood seemed to be pounding in her ears. “You know who Emilie’s father is. You know why s
he named Mitch.”

  “Yeah, well, that part’s nuts, but Tina went off the deep end sometimes. Thing was, she really liked the chief, always talked about how nice he was to her and what a great guy he was. I think maybe when she realized the other guy was gone and wasn’t coming back, she sort of pretended. You know, pretended that Mitch Donovan was the one, so everything would be all right. She didn’t mean any harm by it... At any rate, it was Link Donovan. You know who I mean? The chief’s brother.”

  The hallway did a slow spin around her, and she sank down abruptly on the bench. “How... But how can that be? I thought he wasn’t even in Bedford Creek when Tina was here.” That was what Mitch had said. He wouldn’t lie to her.

  “He was there—”

  Anne could almost hear the shrug.

  “—just for a couple weeks in the fall. It seems to me I did hear him say he didn’t want his brother to know he was in town. Like they’d had some big fight or something.”

  The certainty settled on her like a weight. Mitch had mentioned the quarrel. Probably he’d never suspected Link was back in Bedford Creek at the crucial time.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Oh, yeah. He was the only guy she went out with, and I think she just went with him because he sort of reminded her of the chief.”

  “I understand.” She did. Tina, reaching out for love, had snatched at whatever was offered. But it hadn’t been love.

  A few more exchanges, a promise to send a photo of Emilie, and Anne put down the receiver. She knew now. She had the information she’d come to Bedford Creek to find.

  And after asking Kate to watch Emilie, she headed out to find Mitch.

  Ten minutes later, she stopped on the sidewalk outside the police station, stomach knotting. This would be difficult, so much more difficult than that first day, and she’d thought nothing could be worse than that.

  Help me, Lord. Help me find the words. This news is going to hurt Mitch so much. I don’t want to cause him pain, but he has to know.