A Father in the Making

by Marta Perry

  “He’ll want to see me,” Nate insisted.

  The woman glanced uncertainly over her shoulder toward the back office.

  Smiling inwardly, Nate was about to give his name when a harried-looking Vince slipped behind the booth, pushing his rectangular glasses up on his nose and then scrubbing a hand through his already ruffled hair. A surprising thatch of gray fell across his forehead, a shockingly light streak through his otherwise dark brown hair.

  “Is there a problem out here?” Vince queried the woman before he spotted Nate.

  Nate could tell the very moment his elder brother saw him, as Vince’s face creased into a frown, his brow furrowed. Nate smiled, but Vince only grunted and continued to glower.

  “Hello, brother,” Nate said, ignoring Vince’s sour-lipped expression.

  “Nate,” Vince replied, his blue eyes narrowing and shifting between Nate and little Gracie.

  Leaning close to the baby to inhale her sweet, unique and somehow calming scent, Nate fidgeted, waiting for Vince to take the lead. Even after all these years away from the lodge and his brother, Vince somehow unsettled him, which only served to annoy Nate more.

  The good son glowering at the black sheep of the family. Nate couldn’t help but think this whole idea was a gigantic mistake and wondered for the hundredth time why he had decided to come.

  “What are you doing here?” Vince asked after a long pause. His voice was a severe monotone that Nate remembered well.

  “This is my home, too,” Nate reminded him gruffly, though that wasn’t completely true.

  Morningway Lodge had been his childhood home, but he’d been gone for nearly ten years now. And here he stood, lingering at the front desk like a regular patron. It was hardly the same thing.

  “Your home?” the woman standing next to Vince echoed, her voice laced with surprise. “You never told me you had a brother, Vince.”

  “This was your home, Nate,” Vince said, glancing between Nate and the woman at his side and shrugging apologetically to her before turning his gaze back on Nate. “You left, remember?”

  Nate did remember. And he hadn’t regretted it for a single moment. He had his reasons for leaving, and Vince of all people knew what they were.

  “Jessica, this is my brother, Nate. Nate, Jessica,” Vince offered curtly, almost as an afterthought.

  Nate nodded at Jessica, wishing the woman wasn’t present to hear this interchange between him and his brother. It was humiliating.

  Grasping in desperation, Nate switched tactics. He didn’t want to argue with Vince, especially in front of a woman who was nothing more than a stranger to him. “Don’t you want to meet your new niece?”

  Vince’s expression instantly went from angry to astonished, his eyes widening to enormous proportions as he looked at the baby with new eyes. His mouth opened and closed several times without sound.

  “My what?” Vince squeaked, his voice a good octave over its usual deep tone.

  Nate chuckled. He hadn’t planned to spring this news on his brother in quite this way, but it was worth it just to see the look on his face. “Your niece. Vince, this is Gracie.”

  “I didn’t know you had a child,” Vince grated, but he reached out a tentative finger, which Gracie promptly clasped and pulled toward her mouth. Vince smiled at the baby.

  “She’s not mine,” Nate amended. “I mean, she’s mine. But she’s not mine.”

  Vince’s eyebrow shot up in surprise. He reached for Gracie, softly cooing to her. Nate was surprised at how easily and naturally Vince held little Gracie. Nate always felt like a big, uncoordinated gorilla with the baby in his arms.

  He shrugged as emotion welled in his throat. Explaining the situation to Vince was going to be the most difficult part of an entirely excruciating exchange.

  “Hi there,” Vince said, directing his words to the baby. “I’m your uncle Vince. I’m afraid your daddy didn’t tell me anything about you.”

  Daddy. Nate wasn’t sure he was ready for that word yet—or if he ever would be.

  “Like I said, she’s not mine. She is my friend Ezra’s daughter. Ezra was my battle buddy in the marines—and my best friend. He had my back in Iraq. I would be dead a dozen times over if it wasn’t for him.”

  Nate paused when his voice cracked. Shaking his head, he cleared his throat and tried again. “When Gracie was born, Ezra and his wife, Tamyra, asked me to be Gracie’s godfather. Two weeks ago, Ezra and Tamyra were involved in a fatal car accident. Tamyra died on the scene. Ezra was in critical condition for twenty-four hours before he passed.”

  Vince frowned, his blue eyes surprisingly empathetic. “I’m sorry to hear it.”

  When Nate didn’t immediately continue his story, Vince pinched his lips together for a moment, debating, Nate thought, on whether or not to ask the question that was obviously plaguing him. “I still don’t understand. Why do you have Gracie?”

  “I was at Ezra’s side when he passed on,” Nate explained tightly, absently brushing Gracie’s dark, curly hair back from her forehead. He felt the need to touch the baby even as Vince continued to hold her. “Ezra was an only child, as was Tamyra. He...” he swallowed hard “...asked me to raise her.”

  Vince whistled low and shook his head.

  “Wow. That’s quite a story.” He kissed Gracie’s forehead. “But I have to ask—why didn’t you just tell him you wouldn’t do it? I’m sure you’ll agree you aren’t exactly father material, Nate.”

  The woman laid a hand on Vince’s forearm as if to restrain him. Her gaze darted to Nate before she flashed Vince a cautionary warning glance.

  A nice gesture, Nate thought sardonically, but decades too late.

  He glared at Vince. Nate privately agreed with his brother’s assessment of his character, but he still didn’t like it that Vince had voiced his opinion aloud, especially with a beautiful, smiling stranger present.

  Besides, the man Nate was now didn’t even remotely resemble the boy who’d run off and joined the U.S. Marines ten years ago. It took him a moment to collect his thoughts enough to voice them.

  He could argue, but really, what was the point? Vince wasn’t going to change his mind.

  “Be that as it may,” Nate growled at last, “it was Ezra’s dying wish that I take Gracie’s guardianship. They even wrote me into their will. To be honest, I’m not sure there were any other living relatives who could take Gracie. The bottom line is that I made Ezra a promise, and I’m not going to go back on it.”

  Vince scoffed and shook his head again. “That would be a first.”

  “Vince,” Nate warned with a hiss, his eyes narrowing. “Lay off.”

  How dare his brother question his honor? Nate was a marine now. Or at least he had been. He’d been honorably discharged at the end of his last tour of duty in order to take care of Gracie. It had been his own decision. The life of a military single father wasn’t what he wanted for the baby girl.

  Besides, he didn’t know how he would be able to properly care for Gracie if he was gone all the time. He finally had the time and opportunity to return to his childhood home and see his ailing father, and at the time, it had seemed the right thing to do.

  Now he doubted his own wisdom.

  His father no doubt expected the worst from him, and would not care one way or the other whether Nate showed up. Why was he trying so hard?

  Because, he mentally amended, answering his own question, it was the right thing to do. And Nate respected himself, even if his family didn’t extend him the same courtesy.

  Nate eyed Jessica’s hand, which was still on Vince’s forearm. Maybe the best thing to do was just change the subject.

  “Did you get married and forget to send me the invitation?”

  Jessica colored brightly and withdrew her hand from Vince’s arm as if she’d touched a burning stove top. Nate couldn’t help
but chuckle at the mortified expression on her face.

  Vince just rolled his eyes and snorted.

  “Hardly. When would I have had time to get married? I can’t even make time to date. You left me to take care of everything around here, remember? I didn’t have the luxury of doing whatever I wanted with my life the way you did, bro. I still don’t.” Bitterness rolled off of every syllable.

  Nate clenched his fist. So Vince viewed him as a problem already, did he? Why was Nate surprised? He surreptitiously glanced at his watch. He had only been here for five minutes.

  Vince hadn’t changed one bit since Nate had left all those years ago.

  Nothing had changed.

  Chapter 2

  Nate wanted to punch the sneer right off his brother’s face, but he restrained himself, with effort. Maybe later, when Jessica wasn’t there to watch.

  Vince smiled at Jessica and shrugged an unspoken apology to her, and then slipped the suddenly fussy baby into her arms.

  Nate would normally have felt a bit uncomfortable with a stranger holding the baby, but he observed the natural way the woman cuddled Gracie to her shoulder and wished he had some of whatever instinct it was that made some people so easy around babies.

  The woman closed her eyes and tucked her chin close to Gracie’s curly head. Jessica smiled, and then frowned, and then smiled again.

  What was up with that?

  “Jessica runs the day care center down the road,” Vince explained with a wave of his hand, as if he were brushing off the question Nate hadn’t even thought to ask. “You’ll no doubt need some assistance with Gracie here, and no one knows children better than Jessica Sabin.”

  Nate opened his mouth to argue and then closed it again. His gaze slid back to the pretty blond-haired woman at Vince’s side, who was now cuddling baby Gracie in the curve of her arm and murmuring in pleasant undertones. Nate was hesitant to admit Vince might be right, but the way the pretty woman immediately calmed the fussy baby did much to persuade him.

  There was no denying it. He did need help with Gracie. That was a fact.

  “Thanks,” he said at last, casting Jess half a grin. “I appreciate the offer.”

  Vince nodded, looking pleased with himself. “Do you want me to go get Pop? I’m sure he’ll want to know you’re home. And I know he’ll want to meet the baby.”

  Nate shook his head fiercely. He knew he had to face his father sooner or later, but he was definitely leaning toward later. He was under enough stress without confronting Pop.

  “No. I don’t want him to know I’m here, Vince. At least, not yet.”

  When Nate saw his father again, he wanted it to be on his own terms. In his own good time.

  He leveled his gaze on his brother. “Promise me you won’t say anything to him.”

  Vince arched his eyebrow and shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat. I won’t say anything. But you need to go see him. When you’re ready.”

  Nate scowled at his brother. All his life, Vince had ordered him around. Why had he expected things to be different now?

  He sighed inwardly. He hadn’t really expected change, and that saddened him more than anything.

  “Where are you staying, again?” Vince asked in what Nate thought was an overt attempt to steer the subject to more neutral ground.

  Nate shrugged and grimaced.

  “I didn’t say,” he murmured. “Here at the lodge, I hope. Unless, of course, that’s an inconvenience to you.”

  Nate thought the look on Vince’s face was clear affirmation that Nate was, in fact, a considerable inconvenience to his elder brother, but Vince’s soft words belied his expression. “As you pointed out, this is your home. You are always welcome here. Your old cabin is still waiting for you.”

  Vince hadn’t rented out Nate’s old cabin?

  That came as an overwhelming surprise to him. Desperate to affirm his independence, Nate had moved into his own cabin and away from the family quarters in the lodge on his sixteenth birthday. He’d selfishly not cared how his family felt about it. Yet Vince had kept the cabin intact and waiting for him, at his own loss, for Nate knew Vince could have been cashing in by renting the cabin out to guests.

  Yet he hadn’t. Why?

  He shook his head. Not wanting to think too much on what that might mean, he turned his attention to the smiling woman by Vince’s side.

  “Jess,” Nate offered, nodding his head toward the woman and reaching his hands out for Gracie. He suddenly and inexplicably wanted the infant back in his arms, even if it felt awkward, and probably looked worse. “I can take the baby now.”

  “It’s Jessica,” she corrected, only briefly glancing at Nate before her gaze returned to the baby, whom she didn’t immediately relinquish. “What can I do to help?”

  “Not a thing, ma’am,” Nate snapped impatiently, then winced at his own harsh tone. With Vince glowering at him, he felt as if he was on trial, and all because, as Vince had said, Nate wasn’t exactly daddy material.

  But he would learn to be. And quickly. He was nothing if not determined.

  “Sorry,” he apologized gruffly, but that didn’t stop him from scooping Gracie back into his arms. He kissed the baby’s soft cheek, wishing she would smile at him as she did at Jess.

  It didn’t seem fair to Nate that Gracie started squirming and protesting the moment she was back in his arms, squawking and reaching out for a woman she had only just met, rather than wanting to be in her own guardian’s arms.

  Not that Nate could blame her.

  Jess shrugged. “No problem.”

  “Thank you, anyway,” he continued, trying to take the edge off his earlier tone, “but I’m sure Gracie and I will get along just fine on our own, at least for right now. We’ll see how it goes.”

  Vince barked out a laugh and shook his head in disbelief.

  “Oh, right, little brother. You have been taking care of babies all your life.”

  “Well, no, but...”

  “You do know she needs a diaper change?” Jess asked, arching one golden eyebrow and grinning wryly. Nate might have taken offense, but her large brown eyes radiated kindness.

  “I—er, well of course I know,” Nate said, patting Gracie on her plump behind.

  In truth, he hadn’t noticed until Jess brought it to his attention. What Nate knew about babies could fit onto the head of a pin.

  That was one problem he was going to have to fix, and fast.

  “Would you like me to change her for you?” Jess asked with a polite smile. Her gaze was steeped in amusement, but Nate couldn’t argue. A rough-cut marine holding a tiny baby girl had to look fairly humorous to anyone’s eyes, especially to this day care director, who no doubt took care of babies every day.

  He shook his head before he could think better of it. “I’ve got it. Thanks.”

  “You’re sure?” Jess queried.

  Nate shook his head again. “I’ll just go over—” He hesitated, looking around the lodge’s day room. No thought presented itself that would reasonably complete his sentence, so he let it dangle as awkwardly as the baby squirming in his arms.

  “The sofa, perhaps?” she suggested. This time Nate was certain he heard a little teasing in her tone, not that he could blame her.

  “Right. The couch.” He moved toward the sofa as he spoke, not wanting to make eye contact with either Jess or Vince.

  “Do you have a changing pad?” Jess asked from directly behind his left shoulder.

  Nate couldn’t remember what he had in the diaper bag, but by the weight of it, he was positive he’d packed everything, including the kitchen sink. He’d certainly cleaned out the infant shelves of the baby store where he’d stopped to pick up necessary baby items on his trip to Colorado.

  Settling himself on the couch, Nate propped Gracie on his knee and reached for the diaper bag.
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  Changing pad. Changing pad.

  What did a changing pad look like?

  Chuckling, Jess seated herself next to Nate. “Here you go,” she said, pointing to a folded piece of vinyl.

  When Nate didn’t move fast enough, Jess snatched up the changing pad and unfolded it on the surface of the couch, then gently removed Gracie from Nate’s arm and arranged her on the surface.

  “Diaper?” she queried, lifting an open palm.

  Nate knew what that was, anyway. He handed her a fresh diaper and the box of wipes he’d purchased.

  He belatedly realized he was allowing the woman to take over, but he brushed it off, knowing it would be useful to watch an expert change Gracie’s diaper for once, and certainly the baby would appreciate it. His own attempts to change the infant during the drive to Colorado were questionable at best, to which Gracie’s current saggy baggies attested.

  And he hadn’t even known about the changing pad. He’d just changed her on a blanket.

  Jess had Gracie’s diaper off in moments, despite how the baby girl wiggled and kicked. Her soft, sweet voice affected Nate more than he cared to admit, so it wasn’t any surprise to him that Gracie responded with happy smiles and coos.

  He just wished the baby girl would respond to him that way.

  * * *

  “Oh, you poor little thing,” Jessica told the wriggling infant, before glancing back at Nate. He might be considered handsome in a rough-cut sort of way, with his military-short light brown hair and gold-flecked eyes, but he obviously knew nothing about taking care of a baby.

  “What?” Nate queried. Jessica thought he sounded slightly defensive, and that, for some reason, embarrassed her. She felt her face warm under his intense gaze, hating that she was so easily ruffled.

  “Gracie has a diaper rash.” She tried not to make it sound like an accusation, but thought it probably sounded like one, regardless. Her face went from warm to burning hot, and she was concerned that her countenance would reflect how she was feeling inside. She had to be as red as a cherry.