Nation of the Sun (The Ancient Souls Series Book 1)

by HR Moore

  'I don't get this crap from the young ones,' said Pablo, electricity cracking between their hands as he took hold of her.

  'Ow! No need to injure me,' said Raina.

  'Okay, Raina Halabi, it's really you and you're officially registered to the Pagan nation.' Pablo made a series of taps on the tablet. 'Please sign here, unless you're against that now too.'

  Raina rolled her eyes, took the pen, and signed.

  Chapter 21

  Raina and Meredith went downstairs, into the castle's main hall, where lunch was being served. The hall had banquet-style tables, food laid out in the middle of each, thirty or so demons milling around.

  They chose a secluded spot near the door, watching others come and go as they munched their beef and horseradish sandwiches.

  Janet entered, this time flanked by two other demons, one a young guy, the other an old woman. She made a beeline for the Registrar, who was holding court across the hall.

  Janet bent low and said something in the Registrar's ear. The Registrar looked over at Raina and Meredith, then flicked his eyes back to Janet. He shrugged. Janet said something else into his ear—something that made him uncomfortable, judging by the way he shifted in his seat. The Registrar said something back, and Janet left, her two cronies still in tow.

  'How old do you think she is?' asked Raina. Janet was brash; probably very young.

  'Who knows,' said Meredith, 'but she's done something to impress Jamie. Otherwise she wouldn't be here … not with the threat of war.'

  'Maybe,' said Raina, 'although with Jamie, it's not usually that simple.'

  'I guess you'd know,' said Meredith.

  Raina threw her a dark look.

  'What are you going to do about Caspar?'

  Raina took a deep breath. 'Maybe I'm misjudging Janet … turns out old demons can be brash too.'

  'Haven't you punished him for long enough?'

  'No.'

  'He forgave you when you had an affair. Is what he did any worse than the things you've done to him?'

  Raina was about to say yes, but in truth, Caspar's actions hadn't been worse; only the outcome had been.

  'Caspar's honest, and dependable, and exceptional, and he loves you … will love you until the end of time. I know you love him too.'

  'It's complicated,' said Raina, averting her gaze, balling her napkin ferociously in her hand.

  'Is it? Really? '

  'Raina, Meredith,' said a man's voice from behind them, making them jump. A portly, middle-aged Indian man with a mustache and glasses looked down at them.

  'Malcolm!' said Meredith, standing to hug the Pagan's representative at the Registerium.

  Raina stood and hugged him too. 'It's great to see you.'

  'Likewise,' he said, and sat. 'You've ruffled Janet's feathers already, I hear.'

  'I registered as a Pagan,' said Raina. 'She tried to stop me.'

  'I take it you weren't deterred?'

  'Of course not,' said Raina, 'but apparently, if I don't go and see Jamie, he's going to start a war.'

  'Bloody Templars,' said Malcolm. 'Do you think they're bluffing?'

  'No,' said Raina. 'They want war; any excuse will do.'

  'Will you go?' asked Malcolm.

  'Probably,' said Raina. 'According to Janet, Jamie has information that will interest me.'

  'He could be lying,' said Meredith.

  'He could,' agreed Raina, 'but that isn't his usual style.'

  Raina and Meredith left the hall and followed Malcolm out of the castle. They drove a short distance past the castle, to an estate cottage Malcolm had booked for their use.

  It was a sweet, cozy little stone house with tartan furnishings and fresh flowers. It smelled of whiskey and woodsmoke, and felt wonderful. A pang of disappointment rushed through Raina that she'd have to leave so soon.

  After Malcolm left, Raina and Meredith spent the rest of the afternoon training in the garden. Raina was determined to get her body in shape, especially given all the talk of war.

  They trained until they could take no more, collapsing onto the grass, sweaty, wobbly-legged, and full of endorphins.

  'I'm going to hurt tomorrow,' said Raina, massaging her shoulder while looking at the pretty planted borders.

  'That's the whole point,' said Meredith, 'but did you really have to kick me in the face?'

  'Sorry. Just wanted to see if my leg would go up that high. Turns out I'm quite flexible.'

  'I'm happy for you.'

  A twig cracked behind them. They were on their feet in a second, turning to face the threat. But it wasn't a threat, it was Caspar.

  'I'm going to have a shower,' said Meredith, 'and then join Malcolm at the castle.'

  Neither Caspar nor Raina paid any attention as Meredith disappeared. They stood staring at each other, endless aching seconds ticking by, neither keen to make the first move.

  'What are you doing here?' Raina eventually managed.

  'Sofie and Henrik found me on the floor. They wish me to convey their gratitude. Apparently, it was the funniest thing they'd seen in some time.'

  Raina couldn't help but crack a smile; Caspar would be teased for lifetimes.

  'They also had a good laugh about you taking off in the plane without me.'

  'How did you get here?'

  'The Vikings lent me a plane.'

  'That was nice of them.'

  'They said it was the least they could do in return for such entertainment.'

  'Why are you here?'

  Caspar gave her an incredulous look. 'All the things I said before, when you were Amari, it was all true.'

  'That you love me?' said Raina.

  'I love you. I would do anything for you. All that matters to me, in this life—in any life—is you.'

  'Love was never the problem. And you lie; something did matter more than me.'

  Devastation contorted Caspar's face. 'I'm sorry for what happened, but … it wasn't all my fault.'

  Raina turned away, rage filling her. She balled her fists. She wanted to scream, and kick, and hit, mostly because … he was right.

  It wasn't only Caspar she was angry with—she was just as angry at herself. It was easier to project her hatred and loathing and despair onto someone else … onto Caspar.

  'You had an affair,' said Caspar, pressing her without mercy. 'You promised me you would never do that again.'

  'My child was murdered,' Raina countered, not turning around.

  'It was my child too.'

  'If you'd come with me when I asked, we would've been safe, hidden. We would've had our child.'

  'I know,' said Caspar, his voice softening. 'I know.'

  'The stuff with Jamie wasn't real. Rose and I were infiltrating the Templars. We knew they were up to something, and we wanted to find out what. You were away all the time, with the Buddhists, or the Shindus, or the Russian Spirituals … anywhere but with me.'

  'I wanted you to come with me.'

  Raina whirled around. 'Following you around the world like a lost puppy? I don't think so. I wanted a family, stability. I'd had enough of playing politics.'

  'I was doing important work.'

  'Really?' laughed Raina. 'Did any of it bear fruit? Are the Russians now firm allies? Or the Buddhists? Or anyone else for that matter?'

  'We're closer than before,' Caspar said. 'And turns out you hadn't had your fill of politics either. So much so, you had another affair … with Jamie.'

  'I was trying to find out what he was doing. I was trying to prevent a war. I hated every second of it. I hated lying to you. I hated his hands on me, his smug self-satisfaction. I was a possession—a powerful woman he'd conquered. I put an end to it as soon as I could.'

  'Have you got any idea what that felt like?' said Caspar. 'Sitting in a meeting with the Holy Star, hearing that Jamie was bragging my wife was his? That my baby was his?'

  'It was our baby,' said Raina, harshly. 'Yours and mine.' Tears filled her eyes, then spilled over. 'I was going to tell you �
�� I never wanted you to find out that way.'

  Caspar hesitated. He watched her for a beat, two, then strode towards her, wrapping his arms around her.

  She didn't fight him. She clung to him, breathing him in, feeling whole for the first time in a hundred years, shattered by the knowledge she would have to leave him again so soon.

  The time she'd spent with him as Amari was all her brain would let her see. The hatred and hurt and disappointment of the past was all buried under an ocean of love.

  'I'm sorry,' she choked.

  'I'm sorry too,' said Caspar, squeezing her tighter. 'I shouldn't have let you run away when I confronted you about the affair. I should've gone after you. But I thought you needed time to cool off … I thought chasing you would make it worse. And then I felt your anguish, like a stab in my gut, and I ran, cold from fear. I'd never felt a magic call like it.'

  'It was too late the minute I stepped outside,' said Raina. 'Slayers. They were waiting for me. I barely managed to pull out my knife … there was only one thing I could do.'

  'They were panicking when I got there,' said Caspar. 'Shouting at each other, saying it wasn't supposed to go like it did, trying to move your body. They ran when they saw me.'

  Raina pulled back to look into his eyes. 'But I was already dead … the eternal death ritual wouldn't have worked. Why did they want my body?'

  'I don't know. I moved you inside and called Rose. She said she'd felt something was wrong and was already on her way. By the time she got to us, I was dead too.'

  'They came back and killed you?'

  'I had a heart attack.'

  'Gods, no.' She pressed her head to his chest, and they stood in silence, clinging to each other.

  Raina knew she had to tell him the rest, but there was nothing she wanted to do less. Dread mounted. She started shaking, and grabbed handfuls of his shirt to steady herself.

  'What is it?' asked Caspar, making her look at him.

  'There's something else.'

  Caspar sucked in a breath, visibly bracing for impact.

  There was no way to soften the blow, so she just came out with it. 'In my last life, Rose and I continued our work infiltrating the Templars. I was … with Jamie. He thinks I love him, and I … I never denied that the baby was his.'

  Caspar went rigid, pulling away. He looked at her as though she'd stabbed him in the heart.

  'For a whole lifetime, you refused to so much as look at me. I was falling apart … desolate … and all that time, you were sleeping with him?'

  'Caspar … I was playing a part.'

  'You think that makes it okay?'

  'If it prevented war … and … Caspar …' she looked imploringly at him, knowing, from hard-won experience, it was best to rip off the band aid. 'I have to go back. Janet—Jamie's envoy here—says if I don't, he's going to start a war.'

  'So you're going to run back to his side? Still not done playing politics …? Or maybe there's more to it than that …'

  'No! Caspar …'

  He shook his head, yanked free of her grasp, and walked away.

  Raina went inside, sank into a tartan-covered armchair, and cried. In her last life, she hadn't shed so much as a tear over the deaths of herself and her baby. She'd awoken uncharacteristically early—at eighteen—and had been so, so angry. She'd wanted revenge, to assign blame, to kill those responsible.

  A hunter in Rose's employ had found her. Rose had convinced Raina to continue their work … to find out what the Templars were up to.

  Rose had pushed Raina to give herself space from Caspar, had said they both needed time to cool off. In truth, Rose had wanted Caspar out of the way, so Raina would be free to seduce Jamie. So she could play on the notion that Jamie had lost a baby too, so they could grieve together.

  Raina wasn't an idiot, she'd known this was Rose's motive. But that hadn't stopped her from grabbing hold with both hands. She'd taken the easy path, instead of confronting her own part in her baby's death, instead of grieving honestly, with Caspar. Not only that, but she'd blamed him.

  Raina had told herself she was doing the right thing, for the greater good, trying to prevent war. But really, she was a coward. A coward unable to face her own feelings. A coward who'd let another man have her—had willingly given herself to him—just to try and numb the pain.

  She'd refused to see Caspar, because she couldn't face him, or the pain. She would most likely never have another child … children to demons were so rare. Their actions, hers and Caspar's, had killed their one and only baby.

  She buried her head in her hands. Tears poured from her eyes, great racking sobs shaking her body, her lungs gasping for air.

  She played the moments of her death over and over in her mind. If only she'd stormed upstairs. If only she'd fought longer with Caspar. If only she'd never had an affair with Jamie in the first place. If only she'd been paying more attention when she'd opened the front door. Centuries of training negated by hateful, rageful thoughts. Raina: the formidable force. What a joke. She couldn't even protect her own baby.

  At some point, Meredith came back. She did her best to offer comfort, but there was no comfort that would help. She took Raina to one of the small but immaculately decorated bedrooms, pulled back the crisp white covers of the twin bed, and tucked her in. She asked if there was anything Raina needed.

  Raina shook her head. A time machine … that's what she needed.

  Memories and destructive thoughts plagued her, and eventually, when she fell asleep, she found nothing but hateful, feverish dreams.

  The following morning, Rose, Gemma, Malcolm, and Caspar arrived on Meredith and Raina's doorstep. Rose and Gemma had taken the overnight sleeper train from London, and Caspar had slept on Malcolm's sofa.

  Raina tried to catch Caspar's arm as he walked in, but he shrugged her off. By the looks of him, he hadn't slept much either.

  Rose placed a hand on Raina's arm. 'I can't tell you how good it is to have you back. To say I've missed you would be a terrible understatement.' Rose pulled her into an embrace, something she rarely did.

  'It's good to see you,' said Raina. But her eyes were on Caspar, watching his every move.

  Seeing him yesterday had broken something in her, had demolished the dam holding her emotions. She loved him. She had always loved him. Their demon lives spun around each other, their souls, like magnets, pulled back together in every lifetime. She couldn't go to America with things like this between them. Not even if it meant war.

  Rose began to talk, but Raina missed chunks of what she said. Her conscious mind had no room for anything but Caspar. She watched him from across the sitting room, taking in his tired eyes, disheveled hair, drawn features, and stubble. She wanted to kiss every inch of his face, hold him, run her hands through his hair, chase away his pain.

  'It's suspicious,' said Rose. 'The Registerium and the Templars are too close. Janet has privileges the rest of us are denied … access to records and such.'

  Raina watched Caspar's hands ball into fists and then straighten, again and again. She longed for those fingers to entwine with hers.

  'They seem to be searching for something,' said Rose.

  'Or at least they were,' added Malcolm. 'Janet's less frantic of late.'

  Raina scrutinized Caspar's eyes, which were fixed on Rose. His eyes were like home; they had been for lifetimes. Her single constant in a world of shifting sands.

  'And from what the Holy Star told me,' said Rose, 'the Slayers' stronghold is right under the noses of the Templars. It's too much to believe that's a coincidence.'

  'Wait,' said Meredith, 'you think the Templars are working with the Slayers? The Slayers want to kill demons … all demons, including Templars.'

  'Unless they've come to some arrangement,' said Rose.

  'Do you think that's possible?' said Meredith.

  'You've lived long enough to know we can't rule anything out,' said Rose.

  Raina watched as Caspar's face scrunched in annoyance—he'd alway
s hated the Templars.

  She wished he'd look at her. Then he did, his eyes meeting hers: two pools of deepest brown, with gold flecks visible, even from across the room, at least to her.

  He held her gaze, and she saw nothing there but devastation. Not only had she treated him in the worst of all possible ways, but she'd told him she needed to do it again. Their marriage—their eternal vows—lay in tatters between them, and it was all down to her.

  'If Raina doesn't meet Jamie, war is guaranteed,' said Rose. 'I don't like it, not at all, but I like the alternative less.'

  'Jamie's slippery,' said Meredith. 'He always has a hidden plan, an ulterior motive. Raina could be walking into a trap.'

  Neither Raina nor Caspar looked away from each other. Raina hoped he could see her regret, her own anguish. She hoped he knew that she loved him, had never stopped, never would.

  Eyes are a window to the soul, everyone knows that, but souls are old and complex things. Raina caught a glimpse of Caspar's ravaged, tattered soul, and a wave of nausea hit her. She'd been the one to do that … the one he trusted most. She prayed he could see inside her, could see her depths were shredded too.

  'What if the Templars are working with the Slayers, and they hand Raina over?' said Gemma, silent until now.

  'In that case,' said Rose, 'Raina would almost certainly wind up dead. The final kind.'

  It was only then that the room turned their attention to Raina and Caspar, who were still looking at each other, their eyes locked.

  The others said nothing as they left, Raina and Caspar barely noticing. They stood there, neither moving, seconds ticking by. It had been over a hundred years since they'd been like this, together, neither racing for the exit.

  'I never loved him,' said Raina eventually. 'I've never loved anyone except you. And what I was doing, in my last two lives, it had nothing to do with love, or attraction, or anything other than trying to find out what the Templars were doing. I was trying to protect us all. That doesn't make it right, but it's something I know you understand. Your sense of duty and mine, it drives our actions … it's what put us here.'