A Bride For Windridge Hall

by Jeanie P Johnson

  “If you promise to keep your nose out of my private affairs in the future,” Roderick demanded.

  “Done. My only interference will be to call on you as a friend,” Willard promised.

  “Then the discussion is done with, and we will see if you follow through.”

  Emily looked from one to the other, as they glared across the table at each other, and gave a small smile of amusement. Then she remembered the grave repercussions of everything that had passed between them in the past and realized this was as close as they could come to being civil to each other.

  Emily decided to change the subject.

  “My best friend, Lilith, and her brother, Alfred, will be coming in a day to visit for a few weeks. That will give us company to have activities with. Perhaps we could have some card games, or go riding,” she suggested. “You are welcome to come, Willard,” she added.

  “Oh that sounds just wonderful,” Roderick said sardonically.

  “It will be wonderful,” Emily insisted. “This house should be filled with laughter, and people enjoying themselves, not family feuds.”

  “I agree,” Willard added. “Social events always lift the spirit.”

  “I was hoping that Emily and I could get to know each better without a hoard of people to entertain,” Roderick drawled.

  “You have the rest of your lives for that,” Willard assured him.

  Roderick exchanged looks with Emily and didn’t like what he saw in her eyes. Something was going on, that he was not aware of, and he wondered what it was? Emily seemed too chummy with Willard, as though she had talked to him before. He started to suspect the worse, but when had Emily talked to him? She had just met him for the second time a few hours ago, and after her first meeting, she had been with himself most of the time. Only he felt there was some subtle exchange going on between them, and he wondered what Willard was cooking up now, to destroy his chances of marrying Emily?

  “My friend, is the girl that was sitting next to me at my birthday dance,” Emily told Willard, and his eyes flashed.

  “That beautiful little dark haired nymph?” he questioned.

  “The very one. She will be delighted to meet you. She still remembers how handsome you looked back then.”

  “She thought I was handsome?”

  He laughed.

  “Can’t wait to meet her.”

  “Watch out for her brother, though. He is overly protective.”

  “Is he going to protect you as well?” Willard asked.

  “Perhaps,” she smiled, looking straight at Roderick.

  “There is nothing to protect her from unless you are a threat to her,” Roderick retorted.

  “Let’s hope you are right,” Willard offered, looking straight into Roderick’s eyes. “I hope no improper activities are going on concerning this betrothal between the two of you. So tempting to have your future wife right under your nose, if you know what I mean?”

  “What are you referring to?” Roderick demanded.

  “If the way Emily was sitting on your lap the first time I walked into the parlor on you, is any indication of how you are treating your fiancé, there may be cause to worry that an heir may come earlier than is proper,” he quipped.

  Emily’s hand went to her mouth, and Roderick frowned.

  “It is fortunate that mishap is only between the three of us, but I hope you are not intending to force Emily’s hand, dear cousin, by doing something you will both regret. She seems perfectly willing to marry you without the added push,” Willard added.

  Emily released her breath. Apparently, Willard was not going to divulge their behavior to a gossip column. He appeared to know Roderick well, and she inwardly thanked him for guessing Roderick’s ploys, and mentioning them, to keep Roderick honest.

  “If I thought her hand was being pushed, dear fellow, I would marry her myself to save her honor,” Willard promised, as his eyes narrowed at Roderick’s.

  “Oh, you would love that, wouldn’t you? Then you would have my inheritance and my wife as well!” Roderick grumbled.

  “Now, now. I am not suggesting it unless you are less than honorable. So it is entirely up to you. Emily, feel free to inform me if Roderick oversteps his bounds.”

  He lowered his head towards Emily, and she mouthed a “thank you” in return, which Roderick did not notice.

  Willard knew his cousin so well, he could almost guess that the man could not keep his hands off of Emily. If that turned out to be the case, Willard felt he may end up with her, and the inheritance, in the end. Roderick would have brought it upon himself, poor man! He wondered, though, if that was what he really wanted? It was tempting to play that hand, but he was beginning to realize he truly wanted to end all of these hard feelings between him and Roderick. This family interaction was starting to appeal to him.

  The meddling fool! Roderick fumed to himself. He is determined to interfere, after all!

  Emily could almost read Roderick’s mind.

  “I am sure Roderick will treat me with complete honor,” she told Willard. “He has been nothing but kind to me so far, and for your information, I accidentally slipped off the chair onto Roderick’s lap.”

  She gave Roderick a reassuring look to let him know she was not against him, but that she had recourse if needs be.

  “Yes, it was quite accidental,” Roderick agreed.

  Like all the other times he touched her, Roderick thought to himself. He just hoped against hope that she would agree to marry him willingly without him having to nudge her. He looked at Emily and thought, he would not survive if this marriage fell through before it even began. He truly wanted Emily for his wife. He did not want to question why it was so important he have Emily though.

  After dinner, Emily retired to her room, feeling the strain was beginning to overwhelm her, and Roderick and Willard adjourned to the library to drink some good old Scottish Whisky. After pouring the drink out for the both of them, Roderick eyed Willard, and Willard gave him the stare back with the same disdain in his eyes.

  “You are trying to meddle in yet another way,” Roderick accused Willard.

  “You may be right,” Willard agreed.

  “I perceive that somehow you and Emily have talked. I just can’t figure out when.”

  “You figure right. I saw her in the garden earlier, crying her poor eyes out. What in the hell are you doing to the poor girl, Roderick?”

  “Not a thing. I have been very upfront with her. I told her about the expected heir, and even about Della!”

  “Hmmm, maybe that is why she was crying.”

  “I told her I would put Della aside, which I have, so that cannot be the reason.”

  “We had a little chat, and that is why I have decided to become a help to you, rather than a hindrance. I like the girl, Roderick. As I told you, I am envious of you getting her, like all the other things I envy you for. You can be assured, she doesn’t have eyes for me, like she does for you, so don’t worry about me trying to move into your territory. I know you don’t like me, and have no reason to believe me, but I am going to be honest with you, dear cousin, that woman will be good for you. There is only one catch.”

  “And what may that be?” Roderick asked, not quite trusting Willard still.

  “Well, I can tell she is irrevocably in love with you, and her greatest fear is that you will never love her back.”

  Roderick stood stock-still. He hadn’t thought of it from that angle before, despite the fact that Emily kept going on about a loveless marriage. The problem was, he didn’t trust Emily enough with his heart to give her the assurance of his love. If she ever discovered the complete story of his past marriage, she would despise him, and never have anything to do with him again. He had killed a man, for God’s sake! Having killed James when he, himself, was so young, had plagued him beyond endurance. It brought on nightmares, and self-loathing. He did not deserve to have Emily’s love, he thought angrily.

  “I appreciate your concern, but I am handli
ng things just fine. As long as she willingly melts in my arms, there is little fear of losing her.”

  However, Willard could see Roderick was visibly shaken by the information.

  Willard snorted.

  “You were always too sure of yourself, cousin. This woman is not the simpering girl you mistake her to be. She has real feelings and authentic fears. Those feelings and fears may override her heart if you do not take care. What is the harm of admitting you love her? I can read it in your eyes that you do.”

  “Yes…you are meddling, aren’t you?” Roderick retorted, wanting to get as far away from the subject as he could. “What is in my heart or Emily’s heart is none of your affairs. Just keep your distance, and we can continue to play this little pretend game of happy family.”

  He shielded his eyes, to hide how much Willard’s words had affected him, but by that time, it was too late.

  “Whatever you say, cousin. It is your own pot you intend to stew in. I have this strange feeling that even if she ends up marrying you, unless you are totally honest with her about everything, and profess your love, she will never give you an heir.”

  “Not if I have a say in the matter!”

  His eyes narrowed.

  “You would force her?”

  Roderick was taken back.

  “No…no, of course not! Still the same, I think I have a good power of persuasion when it comes to Emily complying to my wishes.”

  He gave Willard a satisfied smile.

  “Don’t be too bloody sure of yourself, dear fellow.”

  Willard downed the contents of his glass, put it down on the tray, and turned towards the door.

  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, and try and help you in this impossible task of yours,” he said over his shoulder as he exited.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Emily, after retiring to her room, didn’t know whether she should laugh or cry. She enjoyed seeing Roderick squirm when Willard accused him of planning to force Emily’s hand in marriage if other means failed. He was always in such control, and she realized why the two men were constantly at odds with each other. They both had the desire to outwit one another, and it must be a constant battle to remain on top each time a challenge arose. ‘Competition’ was the middle name of most men, she thought with growing mirth.

  Emily went to her dressing table and removed the pins from her hair, letting it flow down her back, in preparation to brushing it. Just as she did so, there was a tap on the door, and then Roderick put his head in.

  “I came to check on you, to make sure you were happily settling in,” he informed her, even though that was not the real reason he came to her room. He had no trouble admitting he just couldn’t stay away from her. Being near her, seemed to sooth all the tightness from his body. The words that Willard had said to him about Emily being in love with him, still rang in his ears, and he wondered if Willard spoke the truth?

  He walked over to her, and took the brush from her hand and started to brush her long waves of red fire. Stroking his fingers through the strands, made his heart race, and the fragrance that drifted up to him from the folds of her tresses, made him feel drunk with desire. Roderick closed his eyes, as he pulled the brush through the red strands. Emily looked at him in the mirror, overwhelmed by the contented look on his face, as he played his hands and brush through her hair.

  She too was feeling a contentment at feeling his fingers in her hair, and the pressure of the brush against her scalp, as he pushed it firmly, and smoothly through the strands.

  “That feels nice,” she murmured.

  “Good. I want you always to feel nice at my touch, and in my presences,” he told her truthfully. “I am sorry if I led you to believe I wanted to seduce you into marrying me. That is not my intention. Our previous moments of touching was not planned by me. They just happened. The touch of your skin against my hands is a balm to me,” he admitted. “It is not something I calculate, to persuade you one way or the other.”

  “That puts my mind at ease.”

  Emily met his eyes in the mirror, and smiled at him, remembering the words he had said to Della, so she didn‘t know if she should take him seriously or not.

  “The problem is, when you touch me, I have no way to control the feelings you bring to the surface. You’re ability to have that kind of power over me, frightens me.”

  “I feel the same about you. I want you in my arms so desperately, the powerful need I feel for you, overwhelms me. I can not contemplate never being able to see your lovely face each day, now that you have stumbled into my life. It is like you are my very breath of survival.”

  “Do you mean that, or are they just pretty words to persuade me?” Emily asked, wanting him to be honest with her.

  Roderick put the brush on the table, and turned her in her chair, as he knelt before her. He raised his hands and pushed his fingers through her hair, on either side of her face.

  “You are so beautiful, I can barely stand it. Being near you is like a moth drawn to the flame. It may burn their wings, but there is nothing they can do to stop flying headlong to their deaths, to be near the light. That is how I feel about you, Emily. I feel like I am falling headlong into something that will burn my wings, only I can’t help myself. Your flame pulls me ever closer.”

  He buried his head against her breast, as he tangled his fingers in her tresses.

  Emily put her hand on his head and stroked his dark locks, thoughtfully. They sat in silence in this attitude, as Emily’s mind started to reel, while Roderick savored how her nearness warmed him.

  “This marriage can work. I know it can. I have never been drawn to any other woman the way I am drawn to you, Emily. I was drawn to you the first moment I saw you at your birthday dance. The need of you consumes me. The touch of you excites me. The smell of you haunts me, and the sound of your voice thrills me. We can make it a good marriage, Emily, if you will only give it a chance.”

  Emily thought this was probably as close as Roderick could ever come to saying he loved her if he actually did love her. At least he had a great need for her, and that was a comfort to her aching heart.

  “Maybe it can work,” Emily said hesitantly. “Only unless there is complete honesty, there will always be fears lurking in the shadows. I know you do not like to speak of your wife’s death, but I need to know what led up to it. I can tell it holds you prisoner in some way.”

  “Her death, no matter how it came about, does not have any barring on how I feel about you. It has no real importance to the success of a marriage I may have with you. It was a bad experience, that I have tried to put behind me. Although it haunts me sometimes, I want to forget it. I want to forget that I ever knew Abigail. All I want to focus on is what you and I can have together, not what I did not have with Abigail.”

  She could tell, he was begging for her to understand and accept the situation without any further questions. However, she didn’t believe it was all that simple. If he wanted her to trust him and love him, without reservation, then why couldn’t he trust her? Why couldn’t he trust her enough to tell her of his own fears, and the incidents surrounding the death of James, and Abigail? He had not even mentioned Abigail’s lover to her yet, and that kept her from trusting him the way he was begging her to.

  “We will give it time,” she said at last.

  He had to tell her how he felt about killing James before she could feel comfortable about putting the incident behind them, she resolved. He most likely regretted it now, but how did he feel at the time he committed the act, she wondered? After all, he knew James was a lousy shot. Did he take advantage of that, knowing he could put an end to James’ life, while James probably could not aim straight enough to actually hit him? The questions had to be resolved, before Emily felt she could trust Roderick completely, regardless of how much she thought she was falling in love with him. Loving him was something she could not seem to control, but trusting him was a whole other question.

  Roderick lifted his head and l
ooked into her deep pools of green.

  “We do not have a lot of time, Emily. Like I said before, I don’t have time to see if love blooms, but the least you can do is trust that I do not want to hurt you in any way.”

  “I know you do not want to hurt me. I do not believe you killed your wife. If I thought that, I would not be here at this moment, wearing your ring.”

  “I guess I need to learn to trust you a little too,” he said sheepishly.

  He pulled her head down to him and kissed her lips lightly, tenderly, lovingly, in a way he had never done before, as though he thought she might break if he was the least bit forceful. The kiss touched Emily’s heart so deeply that it consumed her inner being. It was not a passion that was rising within her, but a true feeling of happiness, that spread throughout her body. It caused a tear to come to her eye, and slide down her cheek.

  Roderick pulled his mouth away when he felt the tear touch his lips.

  “Am I frightening you?” he asked with concern.

  She shook her head, and placed her lips back on his once again, drinking in this new Roderick she was starting to discover. Roderick put his arms around her waist and under her legs, lifting her up and bringing her to the bed. There he placed her softly, and settled down beside her, stroking her hair with his hand, and placing his lips on hers again. He pulled her close to his body, drinking in her warmth, while she entwined her arms around his neck, wanting to feel the closeness of him next to her in her bed. This is what it will be like when they got married, she thought, and then caught herself, because she was actually projecting herself as his wife.

  Roderick’s hands left her hair and stroked her back and hips.

  “I don’t want to compromise you, Emily,” he moaned, “I just want to lie beside you like this, to feel your warmth. Can I have that?”

  This was her chance to put him to the test, she thought. “Yes,” she murmured weakly, hoping she wasn’t making a mistake.

  “He turned her and unfastened the buttons to her dress, removing it, but leaving her in her petty coats, and gently pushed her back against the mattress.