Vow of Honor (Vow Series Book 3)

by Emma Renshaw

  “Are you leaving?”

  I release a heavy, pent-up sigh, my shoulders sagging from the fucking weight of that question. Am I leaving? Yeah. Just don’t know if it will be on my own or in a fucking body bag. Either way, I won’t be around this kid the way I should. Another disappointment for him.

  I grit my teeth. “Corbin, Listen to me.”

  He nods, his face turned toward me. When we pass under a street light, I glance at him, noticing a glassy sheen in his eyes.

  “You have four more years in a broken system. I know the neighborhood you’re in, it’s all too fucking easy to fall into gang life. Working your ass off for a scholarship won’t be the easy way out, but it will be worth it. Don’t stop. Not even for a second. Rise and grind every damn day. You want out of that life? Work for it. It’s not going to fall from the sky and land in your lap. The world doesn’t care if you have a heart of gold. You have to work and earn everything you have.”

  “Will I see you again?”

  “You will if it’s up to me, kid,” I say right as I pull up to his darkened house.

  “Stay safe,” he whispers, getting out the car and hiding his tears.

  I roll down the window and call his name. His face turns but doesn’t face me all the way. A giant fist is squeezing the organ in my chest. “I’m proud of you. Don’t forget that. You’re not going to get rid of Tatum now. Let her be good to you.”

  With a slight nod and a hand covering his eyes, he heaves a breath before taking off for the front door. As soon as I’m on the street heading for my house, the phone rings right as the fifteenth minute is up.

  I don’t look at the screen as I slide my thumb across. “You always did like to be on time,” I say.

  “You’re lucky I gave those minutes to you. There’s not a lot of time.”

  “It’s a holiday.”

  “Yeah, Luca thought the family coming after you on a family holiday would be poetic or some shit,” he muses.

  “Why?” I ask. That single word holds so many questions. Why now? Why are you doing this? Why are you still part of this shit? Why are you calling? “How?” I tack on for good measure. How did you fucking find me?

  “You know the why, asshole.” Then he mutters, “Not that you fucking care.” He’s wrong. Callan and Braelyn are the only things I couldn’t let go. One thing I’ve never told anyone, except for Tatum, is that I risked it all for Braelyn.

  “Braelyn,” I whisper.

  “Don’t say her name,” he threatens.

  I take my hand from the wheel, rubbing it across my forehead. “I tried.”

  “You didn’t fucking try. You left us. I thought you were dead. Dead. Fucking burned alive in the top floor of a god damn restaurant doing something you didn’t want to do. I know you wanted out of this life. I wanted it, too. You knew that. You left. You left with a fucking pile of money and left Brae and I in Chicago.”

  “I sat in a motel room in Chicago for days, thinking of ways for all three of us to leave. After I left, I thought about how to get you out. I didn’t know how. I didn’t have the fucking answers,” I yell into the phone. “Braelyn was a kid, man. Just a kid. Two teenagers in ratty ass clothes with a kid on a bus. We wouldn’t have made it out of the city. We’d all three be dead.”

  I pull into my driveway with my heart pounding, throwing the car in park right in front of the front door, not bothering with the garage. I won’t be here for long.

  “Don’t know why I’m doing this,” Callan mutters. I hear the click of a lighter. Callan never smoked when we were kids, but he loved playing with lighters. The click and small flame soothed him and could calm his racing mind.

  “Doing what?”

  “I fucked up on a drug run. Got short-changed and I didn’t notice because I didn’t count.” Callan is speaking low, lost in a memory I wasn’t part of. “Brae had a recital. I finally had the money to pay for dance lessons. I didn’t count the money. Luca threatened her. She’s under their protection now.”

  “Fuck,” I mutter. If she’s under their “protection,” Callan may as well have a gun to his head for the rest of his life. They’ll make him keep working, and if he stops or screws up, Braelyn will be the price to pay.

  “The only reason you’re getting this call is because you were once like a brother to me.”

  “You’re still like a brother to me,” I declare.

  “Fuck you,” he seethes. I can feel the fury rolling off of him. He can’t see past the abandonment.

  “How did you find me?” I finally get out of my car, walking inside my house toward my room. Sirius hops up from his bed, chasing after me on his short legs.

  “That fucking guy who blew up the restaurant was from Austin. We all thought it was weird when you weren’t at the table with the senator, but didn’t think you would be alive. Luca wanted to know more about the arsonist, wanted to see if we could get money from him somehow. One of the guys started to learn everything about him.” Callan chuckles darkly.

  I place the phone between my shoulder and ear, picking up the bags of money I’ve stored for so long.

  “It’s almost funny how something so simple is bringing you down,” he finally says.

  “Spit it out,” I say, throwing each bag into the trunk of my SUV.

  “A Google alert. Luca’s computer guy set up Google alerts for that guy, his family, and closest acquaintances. I never thought I’d see your face again and especially in a country club newsletter.”

  My hand rakes over my hair before landing on my neck and squeezing. I can picture it so perfectly. Tatum looking fucking delectable in her dress pressed against my body, and a photographer taking our picture. I meant to search him out, but got distracted by the rest of the night.

  “He recognized you. We’ve been watching and collecting information. Tatum sure is a cute girl. She’s got a great ass on her and looks fucking hot in those scrubs she wears for work.”

  “Don’t you dare bring her into this,” I hiss, clutching my phone in a death grip.

  “Relax. Luca’s not interested in bringing anyone else into this shitstorm. I’ve been on her. I wouldn’t hurt her.” The last sentence is uttered so quietly, it would’ve been easy to miss if I didn’t know Callan so well. His next sentence is said with nothing but pure hatred. “I’m not you.”

  “I didn’t hurt Braelyn,” I insist. “I wouldn’t. Fuck you for even saying that.”

  “You left.”

  “I’ve been watching since I left. That nice scholarship she was awarded to the all-girls’ school by the anonymous donor? It’s me. I left because I had to. I didn’t come back because I couldn’t. I never fucking forgot.”

  A choking noise comes over the line.

  “She doesn’t deserve the shitty schools we went to,” I state. Callan speaks before I can continue and changes the subject.

  “Luca is landing in Austin now. Run. We will find you at some point, and when we do, I’ll have no other choice. You’ll be on the other side of my gun.”

  Chapter 44

  Tatum

  James’s words are on replay in my mind. Bye, sunshine.

  I knew he lied about the phone call. It wasn’t a wrong number. He stayed on the phone and then said fifteen minutes. I didn’t want to argue with him in front of Corbin; that wouldn’t be fair to him. From the moment he took the jerky turn toward my house, James knew I wouldn’t protest the change of plans.

  Corbin shut down after that phone call, too. What the hell is happening? James surprised me by dropping me off at my place, even before he took Corbin home. I knew this was intentional. My place was out of the way. He walked me to the door, barely saying a word before he gave me a soul-searing kiss.

  Bye, sunshine.

  My feet are wearing a path in the carpet in front of my bed. I’m staring at my phone, begging for it to ring with a call from him or, a text. An e-mail. Something. Any form of communication. A freaking carrier pigeon. Anything to clue me in to what is happening. Something is
n’t right. James is the most honorable and honest man I know. He doesn’t spare feelings. He’s unfailingly honest.

  And he lied to me.

  He lied.

  Since he hung up that call, something shifted between us. The tension in the car grew thicker and thicker. We’ve stayed most nights together since this began, but today he dropped me off.

  Bye, sunshine.

  Not see you tomorrow. Not I’ll call you. Not later.

  Bye, sunshine.

  Part of me thinks he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye, a real goodbye. That part hopes he’d tell me that he’s leaving, even ask me to come with him. The other part of me knows he’s done it before. Took off. Barely looked back.

  I didn’t even think dropping me off would be an option. I assumed I would go home with him, and we’d spend the rest of the holiday weekend wrapped in each other. James closed the gym for the weekend for the first time ever so we could spend time together.

  And then he drops me off?

  Bye, sunshine.

  Something is seriously not right. I call his number, but it goes straight to voice mail.

  Bye, sunshine.

  My heart gets caught in my throat as I try to suck in air. My lungs feel like they’re collapsing. His deep, sexy voice repeats his goodbye to me and every word before that. I won’t let him do this.

  I don’t waste time changing out of my dress. I grab my keys, heading out to James’s place for some answers. We are past this bullshit. He’s going to talk to me. I don’t care what I have to do. I want him. He wants me. I know he does. Just last week, we admitted we belong to each other. I’m in love with him.

  I love him.

  Bye, sunshine.

  That can’t be the end.

  I grip the steering wheel as tightly as I can as I speed down the highway. My stomach is twisting in knots, an impending doom running through me.

  I bang on the door while ringing the doorbell. James throws open the door with a scowl on his face.

  “What are you doing here, Tatum?” James’s question comes out as a demand.

  “What’s happening?”

  “Nothing. Wanted a night alone. Headache.”

  “James,” I say, stepping toward him, but he steps back. I freeze before shouldering my way inside his house. “Talk to me.”

  “Tatum,” he says, rubbing his hand over his face. “This is getting really intense between us. I don’t want that. I need some space.”

  “Space?” I ask on an empty laugh, repeating his words in my mind while my heart squeezes painfully. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. My eyes snag on a bag next to the door. “Are you going somewhere?”

  “Go home, Tatum,” James growls.

  “No,” I insist. “Not until you tell me what the hell happened and not until you stop lying. You spent the day with my family. We were good all day.”

  “I’m not lying.”

  “Yes, you freaking are.” I step toward him, poking my finger in his chest before wrapping his shirt in my fist, trying to pull him closer. No one has ever fought for him. Not as a kid. Not as an adult. I will. I will fight for him, I’ll fight for us. The way he looks at me, the way my heart beats for him is worth it. We’re worth it.

  “I can’t do this anymore, Tatum. This arrangement is over.”

  “This hasn’t been an arrangement in a long time.”

  “It’s always been that to me.”

  “You’re lying. I belong to you, remember?”

  He steps back, removing my hands from him. “Tate,” he says, blowing out a breath.

  “Tatum,” I correct. I’ve always been Tatum to him. I want to be Tatum when I’m with him and Tate with everyone else. “I belong to you,” I repeat.

  James’s eyes slowly close and he mutters. “Got caught up in a moment.”

  “Liar,” I spit out.

  My eyes catch the piece of luggage again. “Are you going somewhere?” I ask again, biting my tongue to stop the sting of tears. I will not cry.

  “Yes,” he says.

  “Where?”

  “Leave, Tatum,” he growls.

  “No.” I bite my tongue to stop the flow of tears. “Something happened. Be honest with me.”

  “You want fucking honesty?”

  “Yes.”

  “That phone call was my old friend, Callan. Remember him? Mafia friend. They know you exist. They know your name. The fucking mafia knows you exist. They know I’m alive. They’re coming after me. I’m leaving. I can’t take the chance with you being here. They’ll chase me and be far away from you. You will always belong to me and I can’t let them fucking touch you.”

  I stop breathing, terror seeping into me. James steps closer, cupping my face. “I did lie. This is more.” He drops a quick kiss to my lips, stroking his thumbs across my cheeks. “I will protect you. They will not come for you. Go to Roman’s. Tell him everything. Let him protect you. He will.”

  “James, you can’t leave. You can’t,” I beg. “We’ll figure this out together.”

  “I have to.”

  “No, we’ll figure this out,” I say again.

  “Take Sirius with you. Do not ever come back here,” James demands. Each time he speaks, it’s a bit more frantic. He’s trying to rush me out of here and away from him.

  “You’re not coming back?” I ask.

  “No.”

  “Ever?”

  “I don’t know.” He picks up his bag and turns away from me. “Go to Roman’s. Now.”

  James starts moving faster after looking at the time on his phone.

  “Why?” I ask. “We can both go.”

  “Roman and Kiernan have dealt with shit like this before. They’re both trained in more than you can even imagine. He’ll know what to do for you. Go. Now. Leave now, Tatum.”

  “Wait,” I yell as he keeps moving farther away from me, the tears falling too rapidly to stop them. “I love you. Stay. Please stay. I know you love me, too. I know you do. Stay. We will figure this out.”

  “Fuck,” he mutters. “You can’t, sunshine.” He walks to me, cupping my face between his hands. He kisses my mouth lightly over and over. “You can’t love me. You have to let me go. It’s the only way you’re safe, the only way Savannah, Harper, Hudson, all of you are safe. If I could, if I had a different life, I’d never leave your side. Go. Now, Tatum.” James releases me and walks out the door to his SUV, jumps in, and drives away from me. I’m frozen in place long after his brake lights fade.

  When I pull into Roman and Harper’s driveway, they’re not home. I remember they went to Liam and Savannah’s for Thanksgiving, so I head over there, not willing to wait a minute longer. James needs his friends. I refuse to leave him alone in this.

  Liam swings open the door with a boyish grin on his handsome face. “Hey, we were hoping y’all would stop by. Left a message with James a while ago. Where is he?” Liam looks past me into the dark night then back to my face and to the tiny dog in my hands. His head tilts as he watches me. “Tate?”

  A sob breaks free from my throat. Liam pulls me inside the house. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

  “No,” I say with a trembling voice, running a hand through my hair and taking a deep breath. I forcefully stop my tears and straighten my spine, ready to do whatever I need to do. “Is Roman here?”

  “Yeah,” Liam says, looking concerned. He guides me toward their living room where Harper, Savannah, Liam, Roman, Kiernan, and Hudson are sitting. The only ones missing are Valerie and Gabe. Hudson jumps to his feet first when he sees me, followed by a very pregnant Harper and Savannah.

  “Tate?” Hudson asks, bringing his hands to my shoulders. “What’s going on? Where’s James?”

  I ignore his questions, my eyes finding Roman’s. “Can I talk to you? Privately.”

  Roman glances at the others. “Sure.”

  I bend to put Sirius on the ground, not caring that I forgot my manners and didn’t even bother asking if I could put
him on the floor.

  Roman guides me to Liam’s study, sitting on the edge of Liam’s desk while I take one of the chairs in front of it. “What’s wrong?”

  I take in a deep breath, deciding to lay out the facts as quickly as possible. It took me almost thirty minutes from when James left to arrive here. Roman and whoever else need to leave now and find him. Time is moving too quickly. “James is in trouble. He left. He needs help. He told me to come to you to ask if I can stay with y’all to make sure I’m safe.”

  “Of course, you can stay.”

  “I don’t care about that,” I say, slashing my hand through the air. “He’s going somewhere. I don’t know where, and he’s going up against people determined to kill him. He said he’s leaving to get them away from me.”

  “Who?” Roman asks.

  My shaking hands press against my heart as I try to center my breathing, unable to comprehend that the man I’m in love with just took off without a backward glance to fight the freaking mafia. Six months ago before I met James, the most dangerous part of my life was going to a midnight movie by myself.

  “The mafia.” My voice cracks. I want to curl up and cry and worry and beg for James to be okay. That’s not how he’ll get out of this unharmed, though. The only way is for me to keep going, keep pushing, and fighting for us. I won’t stop until I get that growly giant to confess his love for me.

  “Did you just say the mafia?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m getting the other guys,” Roman declares before marching out of the room. A minute later, Liam, Kiernan, and Hudson file into the room. “Start from the beginning,” Roman demands.

  I tell them almost everything. I leave out the private details of James’s childhood, but I tell them about the money, the mafia, and finally the phone call from his long-lost friend.

  “I don’t know what he said,” I say, twisting my hands. “Just know that he called, and they talked.”

  “Fuck,” Roman hisses.