But I can't help but smile at how uncomfortable Lucian looks. He knows he's jealous, and I know that he's jealous, but he doesn't want to admit it. It's both hilarious and a little cute. As we walk closer to the spirit dorm we can see the other masters pacing around our front door, worry etched into their faces.
You are one lucky woman to have so many men pining after you.
I don't need you mocking me right now.
Oh, there's no mocking here. Just honest observation.
Orin rushes up to us, "Are you alright Tiana? You rushed off so quickly today."
"Yes I'm fine, I promise."
He worriedly touches each of my limbs as if they might be missing. I smile and place my hand against his cheek, trying to convey to him that I'm okay. While taking my first life was horrible, it is a part of my destiny. Not all things can be decided by discussion, some things take force. Not that I want to ever lay a hand on another fae, but now I won't hesitate if someone threatens my life or the lives of my friends. My experience today has taught me that.
Look at you, growing as a fae instead of a human. I'm so proud.
Is that always your first reaction? Full-fledged sarcasm?
Perhaps it is my defense mechanism.
Hmm. I'm not sure I believe that. Maybe you're just an ass.
Hurtful, but not untrue.
"I'm glad you're okay. I knew today would be hard on you," Orin gestures to the males waiting anxiously behind him, "The others and I would like to eat dinner with you. If you don't want to be alone."
The fact that they thought I'd like to have some company tonight is a sweet gesture. And it's exactly what I need. I was dreading Lucian having to leave me alone in the empty dorm.
"That would be great, thank you."
A brilliant fiery smile lights up his face as he threads his arm through mine. Rai comes up to my other side and slings a good-natured arm around my shoulders.
Lucian grins, "Well, it looks like you're in good hands. I'll see you later tonight."
He turns on his heel and walks away down the path toward the arena. But the slouch in his shoulders gives him away. He looks tired and stressed out. I can't imagine what he has to contribute for the people recovering to both revive them from the dead and to keep them that way. While it's an awe-inspiring power, it must also be extremely difficult and draining.
While watching him walk away, I ask, "Is Lucian the only fae that can bring someone back from the dead?"
Orin glances in his direction with a thoughtful expression on his face. Rai only shrugs and begins to lead me toward the high rise building we ate in last time.
Damon replies, "Yes he is. It is a power that lies solely on the spirit king's shoulders. While he makes it look easy, it's incredibly draining."
Out of all the other men besides Lucian, Damon had drawn me in the most with his sexual energy like a moth to a flame. After discovering what it felt like the desire has since disappeared as if my elements are just doing a series of eliminations. If they are, they're certainly not taking my feelings into account.
Your elements are the most primal part of you, feelings aren't a factor there. It's a do now think later situation.
Great.
The mouthwatering smell of steak and potatoes wafts into my nose as the elevator doors ping open. I rush forward as my stomach growls loudly. The males around me chuckle at my enthusiasm and take their seats. I hadn't realized how hungry I was before now.
After piling my plate high with potatoes, steak, and various steamed vegetables I dig in. The surrounding males do so as well, and we eat in silence for the first half of the meal.
Halfway through my steak I finally lean back in my chair and sigh happily, "Ugh, I needed a big meal like that."
Adrian raises one eyebrow, "For such a small girl you can really put it away." Damon snickers at his comment while I glare.
"Hey! Don't judge my eating habits I have two souls inhabiting my body."
Everyone bursts out laughing, and while I try to keep the scowl on my face, it's impossible. We all start laughing hysterically, and I feel the stress and sadness I had been holding in wash away. While all the men can't be my fated mate, I do believe that I was fated to have every single one of them in my life. As friends or lovers, I guess we haven't found out just yet.
Rai sobers first, "Speaking of two souls I can't help but admit that I'm curious about what the king of the fae is like."
"Yeah, I am too. Is he regal? A dick?" Damon asks, making me laugh.
"No, he's not either of those things to me. He's just Rowan. Just like you guys are yourselves. I don't see any of you as royalty, and maybe that's because I grew up human and don't really know the customs," I pause, considering, "I can show you him, if you'd like me to."
What are you doing? I'm not your show pony.
It's not like that. I want you to meet them because they're my friends. That's what friends do.
Fine, but I resent it.
"How can you show us?" Adrian asks.
I close my eyes and concentrate, pulling my magic from deep within me to further sustain Rowan today. By the gasps in the room I know that he has appeared, so I opened my eyes. Rowan is standing behind my chair with both hands resting gently on my shoulders. He's dimmer than normal due to the magic I've expended today.
"He can't speak to you, but he can hear you. I can tell you what he says in return."
All four of the males stare at the king of the fae in complete awe. Rowan is grinning from ear to ear, showing off his fully extended canines. It's strange that every time he materializes he's in his full fae form.
I do not have a distinction like other fae. I am full fae all the time due to the amount of magic I possess. That will not happen to you because you're half human.
"It's an honor to meet you, king Rowan." Rai says, sounding a bit breathless. Give me a break, it's not that fantastic.
Hey, I am a legend around here. Your human ignorance is appalling sometimes.
I take offense to that.
You were supposed to.
During our spiteful exchange we had been looking at one another, Damon asks, "What is he saying?"
I rubbed the back of my neck, "I was making fun of how star struck you all are, to which he told me he's a big deal and that my human ignorance is appalling."
"Okay, so maybe he is a dick sometimes."
I roar with laughter, as does Rowan behind me. But it looks strange to see him silently laughing while only hearing it in my head. The rest of the surrounding males only smile, trying not to offend him. Not that he would be in the slightest.
Tell them that being regal and noble is overrated. I thought that when I was young and it hasn't changed.
"He says to tell you that being regal and noble is overrated. Which means don't treat him any differently than you would treat me."
They look at each other before turning back towards us. Again, I can feel that no one in the room understands our causal relationship. It leaves me feeling like I've done something wrong.
Nothing you've done is wrong. People do not understand because they have never experienced a connection like this.
He places one glowing arm around my shoulder as Damon asks, “If he’s so nonchalant, who is this guy? I know he’s the king of the fae, but who is he really? And what are his values?”
Rowan narrows his eyes, tell him that my name is Rowan Gythius Romanovo, the high king of the fae. I was born from the womb of mother earth herself, created only to rule. And while my reign started with a great war I ended it by bringing peace. I have made mistakes in my life, one of them being that I thought the dark fae were beneath me, and that’s on me. I started the great war cycle, and that’s on me. But I’m here now to atone for my sins, to continually bring peace to the realm of the fae time and time again when they cannot do it for themselves.
He says so with such force that magic radiates throughout the room, making my hair blow around my face. With one final glare at the ma
les in the room, Rowan dissipates while stroking his hand lightly down the side of my face. The males in the room track the movement almost like animals.
I swallow, “He said that his name is Rowan Gythius Romanovo, and he is the high king of the fae. He was born from the womb of mother earth herself, created only to rule. And while his reign started with a great war he ended it by bringing peace. He said he had made mistakes during his lifetime, one of them being that he thought the dark fae were beneath him, and that’s on him. He also admitted that he started the great war cycle, and that’s on him. But he’s here now to atone for his sins, to continually bring peace to the realm of the fae time and time again when they cannot do it for themselves.”
Everyone is stunned into silence, you could hear a pin drop. Rowan is also silent within me. But I feel a bit miffed that they don’t trust him. If anything, I shouldn’t trust him! He’s their precious king, their original savior, so what’s the issue? Not feeling like being around people anymore, I stand up and take my plate to the kitchen. Orin follows me in and leans against the door frame. After placing my plate in the dishwasher I lean back against the sink, looking at him.
"You are not at fault Tiana. If we have a problem with it, that's on us. But you do seem very close to someone none of us know or understand."
"What are you saying? That he's a bad influence, or that he isn't who he says he is? Because that has crossed my mind a time or two, but you know what? There's not much I can do about that, so I've decided to trust him, and get to know him as mother earth intended me to."
Orin steps forward, reach for me, "But that's just it Tiana, what if that's not what mother earth intended? What if you’re just supposed to use his powers, and then he's gone? We have no idea how any of this works. I just don't want you to set yourself up to be crushed."
I shout, "Well it's too late for that! Do you know how much time Rowan and I spend together, Orin? Twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. From the start of our weird soul connection he's been right by my side through everything that's happened at this academy. It's been a comfort, so yeah, I'm close to him. And it makes me even more confused that I've been in my entire life. So I don't need you to tell me that it might crush me. That this entire situation might crush me," I pause while rushing toward the elevator, "And you know what else? I just want everyone to back the hell off! I don't know what I'm doing, you don't know what I should be doing, but Rowan does! So back the hell off!"
Then I'm in the elevator and smashing the close door button so fast that it's whooshed to the lobby before I can take a deep breath. I've never yelled at them like that before. It felt good at the moment to get all that stress off my chest, but now I feel kind of bad. It isn't Orin's fault this happened to me and everyone is just trying to help. But I don't want their constant help. I fling open the door and stalk toward my dorm room while raging to myself. Sometimes I just want to be left alone or treated like a normal student and not some high fae queen who's going to save the world. Because I don't feel like that. It makes me want to give it all up and run away.
I didn't either. It can be a crushing responsibility, but you can't run Tiana.
Slow silent tears roll down my face, why not? It's not like the fae won't be fine without me.
You're forgetting that there are thousands of both light and dark fae losing their lives for a war that should have ended centuries ago. Or maybe should never have been started at all. You're the only living fae with enough power and influence to change that. I don't think I could respect you if you walked away.
His words hit me like a blow. I flop onto my bed and shove my face deep into the plush pillows. This is a cross road for me. A time when both paths are hard and the road seems long and full of tall hills.
A time to make a choice between two impossible options. Leave this all behind, lose Rowan and Lucian, but be free from responsibility. Or continue on this path to becoming the queen of the fae and to change the fate of the world forever. Just that sentence sounds so overwhelming that I start to sweat.
Gods, I can't run Rowan, but I want to.
I know, trust me, I know.
Lucian startles me, "Tiana, are you alright?"
I roll over and stare at the ceiling while spreading my limbs wide across the bed. He chuckles before kicking his shoes off and sitting down on the edge of the bed. I swivel my face toward him and smile sadly. He wipes me tears away before leaning down to kiss my forehead. With that light touch a flood of calming spirit energy fills my head and flows down to my toes. A contented sigh escapes me and I move over to make room for him in the bed.
"This is hard right now, and while I know we will figure it out eventually, it still gives me stress."
He nods before lying down and pulling me into his chest. I love how my head fits perfectly beneath his chin, and how his heart beat feels like it's in tune with my own.
"I've talked with the others. You don't have to come to the arena tomorrow if you don't want to. You can train in the clearing with Rowan, or stay in bed until I get home and bring you more pizza." I smile to myself, knowing that he's trying to cheer me up.
I look up at him, "Thank you, Lucian, I appreciate you more than you know. I just have a dream about what this land can be, and a hope for this to get easier than it is right now."
He pulls me up off of the bed, blanket and all, to haul me across the dorm room toward his quarters. We rush past his bed to a door that I thought was a second closet, but turns out to be a staircase toward the roof. He pulls me up the stairs behind him at a rapid pace, making me laugh.
Once we get to the top he drags me onto the lounge chairs, and we lay back to look at the stars. After all of the initial excitement of coming up here, I get comfortable and wrap the blanket more tightly around me. The stars are shining beautifully, iridescently. They’re so much brighter in the fae realm, more vivid.
Lucian rolls his head toward me, “What are your hopes for this realm?”
I don’t look at him, “With Rowan inside me and me know exactly why I was brought here, and it makes me want peace. No temporary peace, not separate peace, but one reign again. One king or one queen. To bring back the old fae realm and to run it how it should have been. With love, peace, and unity for both races. No armies, no war, and no lingering racism. Does that sound too ambitious?”
“For anyone else, I’d say yes. But for you, the fated savior of the fae realm, no. While it’s going to be hard, and may require a little fighting along the way, I’d say you can complete anything you set your mind to.”
“Would you be upset if you have to give up your post as king?”
He responds almost instantly, “No, not at all. I was never inclined to become king. In fact, I was happy to let my father rule for the rest of eternity, that is, until he became a monster terrorizing the spirit kingdom rather than ruling it. So I wouldn’t mind someone else taking over. But the others will be a harder lot to convince.”
He’s right of course. The other kings are much older, and most likely much more stubborn. It makes me cringe just thinking about how horribly those conversations are going to go. Some young halfling girl telling them to get off their high horse? Yeah, that will go over well.
“Ugh, you’re right. Talking about it and actually doing it are two different things. How am I even supposed to start?”
“Well, you do have the full support of the academy behind you, and all of the fae princes. It wouldn’t be the first time we had an uprising.”
“But that’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid. Does every change have to be started by using violence?”
He taps his chin, “No, however, it’s unfortunately much more effective that way. And it’s something that the fae readily respond to. There has never been a peace treaty discussed over tea and biscuits here.”
He’s not wrong. War is practically our culture.
Yeah, well, it’s time for that to change.
Hmmm. I like you, the softness of your human upbringing is
appealing rather than revolting.
Thank you, I think?
Lucian and I lie there for over an hour in silence. It’s a comfortable silence without any expectations or overwhelming responsibility. Here on this roof he’s just Lucian rather than the king of the light fae spirit realm. And I’m just Tiana, a girl from south Florida who doesn’t have any other responsibilities than running a dive bar.
I whisper, “I hope for positive change is all, even if I don’t know how to make it happen yet.”
He grasps my hand, his eyes shining in the dark, "May your dreams and hopes be answered by mother earth."
And we fall asleep like that, desperately hoping, and dreaming.
Chapter 16
Week three, day three of the competition I don't roll out of bed until eleven o'clock. The rest of the student body is at the arena, watching as more senseless death occurs. It makes me grateful for Lucian, once again, for not making me participate. But he was probably right when he said I should train with Rowan today instead.
High Fae Academy - Year One: Fae Paranormal Romance Page 14
