Stolen Innocence

by Beverly L Anderson

  “So, unless you’ve got any concerns Miss Janet,” Mary smiled sweetly to Janet as she spoke.

  “Not really,” Janet exclaimed a little too loudly, returning her smile. “I think it has gone a lot better than I thought.” She glanced at Varick and then back to Kieran. Kieran blinked, wondering if she was intentionally trying to draw his attention to Varick.

  Kieran glanced back between Varick and Janet again. “Good, alright, I will leave you with Mary to get the paperwork ready for tomorrow,” Kieran nodded toward them.

  Varick spoke up. “Hey, you going to the cafeteria by chance?”

  Kieran looked at him and he felt heat on his cheeks. “Oh, uh, yes, actually...”

  “Mind if I tag along?” he asked with a gentle smile.

  “Oh,” Kieran exhaled as his face flushed a bit darker. He wanted to go with him to the Cafeteria again. The last time had been interesting on several levels for him. “Oh, yes, that would be fine,” Kieran responded and ducked out of the room quickly.

  Varick slipped out the door around Mary and followed Kieran. Kieran had his clipboard clutched tightly to his chest as they got to the elevator. Varick smiled at him as he reached around him to hit the button for the ground floor.

  “Going down,” he said with a sideways grin.

  Kieran blushed a bit again and looked away from him. Why was this so embarrassing? He had not said anything overtly sexual. They got out on the ground floor to head toward the cafeteria. Despite Kieran’s attempt to walk quickly, Varick easily kept up with him. He had the longer legs after all no matter how fast he walked ahead of him. They went into the cafeteria and through the line. They were serving hamburgers today and both of them grabbed one. Kieran, though, didn’t take any condiments. Once again, he grabbed a chocolate milk while Varick grabbed a cola. Kieran led them over to a far table without comment.

  Kieran looked up as they sat down. “Why did you wish to come with me?”

  Varick leaned back in the chair, propping his knee against the table. “Well, just wanted to hang with you. Seems like you don’t have a lot of people who just want to hang out with you.”

  Kieran took a bite of his food very slowly and watched him for any signs indicating he was being false. He swallowed and sipped his milk. “Oh, not many people do.”

  “I don’t see why not. You’re really interesting.” Varick ate his own food slowly.

  “I guess. Thomas has me set up for an on-camera interview early tomorrow. It airs on the news Saturday morning. I mean, I know no one will actually be watching me, but it still makes me nervous,” Kieran sighed.

  “So, why do it?” Varick wondered as he took a long drink.

  Kieran looked at him with a confused face. “Why do it? Well, Thomas says it will help if people know me and they will not question me as much. I have trouble dealing with patients and families. I do not have a very good bedside manner. I have to try and make it better. Right?” he inquired and looked at Varick as he picked at the wrapper. He wanted to fold it.

  “Heh, you do surgeries no one can dream of. If they don’t like you, fuck ‘em. They can find someone else who can do what you do. They’ll be back because they won’t be able to find anyone as good as you are,” he shrugged.

  Kieran watched him for a long time. “I have to try and be normal. I...I do not do things normally like other people,” he commented as he ran his fingers over the paper from the sandwich. He should crumble it up, he thought. That would be normal. He took the wrapper and crumbled it into a ball that matched Varick’s. “I mean, I do the drumming thing with my hands, and it is not normal. And I have these other things I should not do because they just are not normal. I have a lot of anxiety and I just do not do well with crowds or lots of people.” He sighed and took a long drink from the carton of milk. He swallowed and set it down slowly on the table, his eyes following his hands. “I just... Thomas says I have to get out of my comfort zone so I can be more normal.”

  He could not help it. He kept looking at the crumpled wrapper beside the sandwich and he wanted to fold it into squares. It was making him nervous and anxious to see it in such a state.

  “Fold it up,” Varick remarked, watching him with a smirk.

  Kieran looked at him. “What?”

  “You like to fold the trash up in squares. I saw you do it when I came down after the surgery. So, why don’t you?” he asked.

  Kieran just stared for a long time. “Because doing something like folding up my trash in neat little squares is not normal...” he trailed off.

  Varick shook his head. “Fuck normal.” He took his own crumpled wrapper and slowly straightened it out on the table. He began to fold it in half, then half again, and finally one last time in half, making a neat square. “Normal is a societal construct created by people. There is no consistency across civilizations or cultures. What is normal to one person is not normal to another. It once was normal to own slaves and be prejudiced against people of color like yourself. It was once normal to make women wear dresses and cover themselves. And long ago it was normal to cut off someone’s hand for stealing instead of putting them in jail. Eventually, all societal constructs fall to new ideas. Normal is one of them.” Kieran stared at him with his mouth slightly open. “Now, just fold up your silly wrapper like you want to.”

  Kieran didn’t move his eyes from Varick as his hands mechanically moved to do exactly what Varick had done, folding it three times into a square. He really just told him it was okay to answer one of his needs Thomas was constantly telling him was not normal. He looked at the other man. “You...you are very well spoken...”

  “For a biker dude?” he wondered with a shrug.

  “For anyone...”

  “Well, just because I ride a bike and have tattoos and piercings doesn’t mean I haven’t learned a thing or two. Always enjoyed philosophy, sociology, and anthropology in college. I used to want to be a high school English and Art teacher. But I don’t look ‘normal’ enough to do it. So, I do tattoos for others, and help them express their inner selves on their skin for the world to see.”

  Varick smiled at him. “I guess I should say I had an ulterior motive for coming down here with you. It wasn’t just to hang out.”

  Kieran’s brow wrinkled and he hoped this wasn’t some cruel prank. Being pranked by someone had happened more than once to him over the years. “What is it?”

  Varick leaned forward on his arms and gave him a long look. “Wanted to see if you’d go for a ride with me this weekend.”

  Kieran’s eyes went wide and his face went instantly red. “Um, oh... I-I do not know, I have never been on a motorcycle...”

  “That’s okay, got a second helmet, and I won’t mind you holding onto me while we ride,” he explained. He let a slight smirk appear on his face. “Maybe we can meet up with Carmine. He said he thought you were pretty cute, too.”

  Kieran blinked. “Carmine? The actor from the radio show?” he asked with a surprised expression. “You know him?”

  “Um hum. Actually, we kind of see each other a lot. He’s a good guy. We have a guy we kind of see together,” he explained, shrugging.

  “Wait, you have a person you are dating already? Why are you asking me to go out with you?” Kieran inquired with a concerned look. Was he cheating on someone else?

  Varick shrugged. “We have an open thing, you know. Like, he said it was cool if we went out on a date, got to know each other, who knows, maybe you could come out with all three of us. I know Carmine would like it. I mean, if you aren’t opposed to that sort of thing.”

  Kieran had flushed bright red now. All his life and never had anyone shown the slightest interest in him romantically, well, other than Mary. Mary held no interest for him, in fact, he was realizing women in general held no interest for him. But Varick, and the actor...

  He swallowed dryly, his throat clicking loudly to his own ears. “Ah, I mean, I guess it-it would be nice. I mean, the ride, and stuff, I’ll be here tomorrow afternoon to disch
arge Janet. We-we can talk then...” he stammered and stood up quickly.

  Kieran grabbed his trash and took off quickly. His heart was pounding in his chest and now his head was all sorts of clouded.

  As he left, he heard Varick say very quietly, “That went a whole lot better than I thought it would...”

  Chapter Six

  The Liaison and the Choice

  Devan continued mentoring them over the first week. It seemed that although Carmine had been around the scene for a while, he was nowhere near as knowledgeable as they had initially thought. He found Carmine had learned some rather unfortunate things from the group he hung out with, and Devan was adamant he re-learn most things he already knew. At first Carmine had resisted the idea he had been wrongly instructed, but he soon gave in to Devan’s insistence. Frankly, Varick was overwhelmed by the amount of information he was being given, but he was doing his best to understand it all. He had done some scenes with Devan and Carmine, and he was starting to get comfortable with the idea of being in control of someone else with their permission. By the time Thursday night ended, Varick thought both he and Carmine had come a long way during their private training sessions at the club. He wasn’t sure why Devan seemed to get access to the place at odd hours.

  Devan had been in a Domme mode the past week, and Varick was getting used to the fact he didn’t just dress like a woman, he was a woman. She, he reminded himself, she was a woman right now. He was going to get this right if it killed him. He liked Devan quite a bit, and the last thing he wanted to do what make her feel uncomfortable. However, it meant both Carmine and Varick had been watching her work with subs rather than actually having scenes with her as a sub. Devan had asked if he wanted to participate with her and do sexual stuff with the others, but Varick had turned it down. He’d wait until Devan was back in her submissive mood for sexual scenes. He didn’t mind the non-sexual stuff, like flogging, learning to bind, and many other things, but he was not inclined to actually have sex with anyone besides Devan. Carmine would play with others, both sexually and non-sexually, but only if Devan was playing as well.

  Friday afternoon saw Varick and Clair waiting with Janet for her discharge when Kieran entered. Janet had decided to stay until nearly four because she wanted to thank Dr. Sung in person. Final discharges occurred just before five, and Kieran had been on a late shift today, coming in at three. Varick, of course, was here not only for Janet, but because he wanted to arrange things for the next day for the ride he had promised the young doctor. Varick saw him tense the second he entered. Janet’s mother was there too, so he thought maybe her presence was the reason Kieran was so out of sorts. She had eased up significantly about Kieran’s age and ability since Janet’s surgery had been a success and her recovery went along with no problems. Varick thought maybe the confrontation Kieran had with her in the beginning had left him avoiding her. Kieran smile was strained as he nodded to them before speaking.

  “There will be a follow up appointment with me in six weeks. Please make sure to keep your appointments with the oncologists. We must make sure we do not have any secondary tumors, but should that happen, it is nowhere near as difficult to go back in a second time. I do not anticipate this happening.” He paused and flipped a page in the clipboard. “Be careful of the area of your head where the skull fragment was removed. You must stay on light duty for the next six weeks until I completely clear you for regular duty at work. I will provide the appropriate documents for your employer. This is purely precautionary, and my preference even it is not a necessity,” he spoke with his eyes never leaving the chart, tapping different things as he spoke. The few times the doctor did look up, Varick noted his eye had a tic every now and then.

  Everyone seemed relieved Janet was going home. Varick kept his eye on the young doctor, though. He was glad Janet was being discharged, but even more than before he was worried about Kieran. He seemed more frazzled than the last time he’d seen him and he was exuding stress. As the girls talked, Varick moved over to him and tapped the clipboard where he was seemed to be staring vacantly. Kieran looked up into his blue eyes and looked like a deer in headlights, caught and unable to move.

  “Um, yeah, can I help you with something? I-I am not in the mood to talk right now about...the ride thing... I can find you after I finish my rounds if you will stay here.” He noted the tic in his eye getting worse as he spoke. He nervously reached down and tugged on his scrub top. Varick was amused because it was a royal purple color, and had a subtle heart pattern in the fabric.

  “You okay, doc? I mean, you’re looking rough around the edges,” Varick noted with concern etched into his normally placid features. His concern was genuine because he saw Kieran as someone in need of help, and more than anything, he wanted to be the person who helped him.

  The doctor looked surprised but nodded. “Yeah, just...I seem to have gotten more attention than I wanted after that interview I did on the radio show, and I...had to do...I did a TV interview on the news today to air tomorrow, and it made things worse.”

  Kieran turned and quickly made his way out of the room as though escaping. Varick stepped out after him and watched as a girl nearly ran right into him. She was a petite girl, with her brunette hair in pigtails set high on her head, and she was wearing what looked like one of those sexy nurse Halloween costumes with stiletto heels and a face of heavy makeup. She was probably twenty, if even that old.

  “Doctor! Dr. Sung!” she squealed with a grin. “You’re so cute! Please, let me have a chance! You’re wonderful! You need a girl like me, you really do! I’ll do whatever you want; I’ll be whatever you want! You can totally have your way with me!”

  Kieran stepped back from her, crossing his arms tightly over his chest and clutching the clipboard so hard his fingers were turning white. His face was a mask of some sort of terrified anxiety, as he turned and yelled out.

  “Dr. Santo!” he practically screeched.

  A somewhat heavy-set doctor with glasses and black hair moved quickly toward her from of the nurses’ station. He growled under his breath and rolled his eyes in Kieran’s direction, pulling the woman off toward the elevator. He gave her a stern speech about the floor being only for patients and family and she was most certainly not allowed on the floor.

  A second later a nurse with bobbed black hair and very stylized brows and eye liner came around from the nurse’s station. Varick wasn’t sure about this person’s gender, though... Then he remembered the rooftop conversation about the nurse Kieran had mentioned was too feminine for him. Ah, he thought, this must be him.

  The nurse smiled sadly, and patted Kieran’s back. “Hey, another one, honey? This is getting ridiculous, I mean, you’re a successful doctor, and cute, so there’s no wonder, but still very rude to approach a stranger like that.”

  Varick wandered over, trying to look uninterested and failing entirely. He nodded at the dark-haired nurse. He had a light sheen of natural looking make up other than the winged eye liner. He was very striking, Varick thought. “Who was that, doc?”

  Kieran just stared straight ahead, hands clenching the clipboard to his chest. He looked at Varick for a second and turned and walked off, headed toward the stairwell again. The nurse beside him sighed.

  “If we’d known doing the interview was going to incite the female, and half the male population, of St. Louis and the surrounding area, I’d have told Thomas to back off about it,” the nurse sighed deeply and looking the direction Kieran had gone. “Not that it would have helped to talk to Thomas.”

  “What’s going on, anyway?” Varick inquired. He turned toward the nurse, seeing his name badge read Hinto. Varick thought he seemed to have some very curvy hips on him for a guy.

  “Oh, seems the terms ‘single’, ‘cute’, ‘doctor’ and ‘under thirty’ mean Kieran is being assailed by young women, and a few young men, about dates. The poor thing has been beside himself over the last week. And he doesn’t even know about the really bad letters and calls...” he said
and let out a long sigh. “Of course, maybe it had to do with him being on the same broadcast as a young heartthrob like Deangelo.”

  Varick smirked as the man blushed and his eyes got faraway looking. Someone had a crush on the stage actor. “But then there was the major news station Dr. McKellar insisted he do a St. Louis Spotlight appearance on. I thought it would be more than he could handle, but Dr. McKellar seemed to think it was good for him to do something outside his comfort zone.”

  Hinto paused, glancing at Varick with a sidelong look, “But, if you ask me, there’s something fishy going on. All of sudden Dr. McKellar has all these appearances scheduled for Dr. Sung. I keep wondering who is actually getting paid for them...” he trailed off.

  Varick frowned and started to respond, but Dr. Santo came back, huffing a bit. “Took the stairs, like you asked,” he trned to Hinto and put his hand on his side. He took several deep breaths slowly.

  “Good, you need to lose some weight for your own health, Danny, I’m planning on being married for a long time, and I don’t want you dropping dead of a heart attack before we’ve even gotten to the wedding,” Hinto responded. He wore a smirk, both of amusement at his fiancé’s pain and the fact he done as Hinto had asked.

  Dr. Santo heaved another breath. “Seven flights of stairs, all for my overly worried fiancé,” he muttered. “I’m not gonna drop dead in less than a year. I’m the doctor here, you know, corazon.”

  Varick smiled at them. “Umm, so what happened to the girl anyway?” he asked as the doctor got his breath again.

  “Tossed her ass back outside. Told security not to let her in again. Dammit, this is getting worse, not better. I think Dr. Sung’s going to blow a gasket if we can’t get them to leave him alone,” he grumbled. He looked up and smiled at Varick. “Anyway, I’m off stalker duty, Dr. Davis is coming down, he should be back before Dr. Sung comes back from wherever he went to hide for a bit.”