Chasing Dreams

by Deborah Raney

  CHAPTER 14

  HOLDING A BOUQUET OF FRESHLY clipped wildflowers from the woods in one hand, Joanna opened the back door to the cottage with her free hand and slipped off her muddy shoes before stepping inside. Her cell phone was vibrating on the washing machine in the back hallway where she’d left it.

  Luke! Finally! Seeing his name on the screen sent a crazy rush of relief and excitement through her. She’d determined not to sit around waiting for his call after work every day. So she’d cleaned every cupboard in the cottage and had almost resorted to cleaning the bathtub when she’d spotted a patch of wildflowers in bloom up in the woods behind the cottage.

  She laid the bouquet on the washing machine and quickly wiped her hands on her shorts, absently checking her reflection in the mirror. Good thing he couldn’t see her right now. She was what Britt would have declared a hot mess.

  She sucked in a breath, picked up the phone, and tapped Talk. “Hello?”

  “Hi. Joanna?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh good. I wasn’t sure if this was your cell or a landline and I can’t tell you sisters’ voices apart.”

  “It’s me. This is my cell number. How are you?”

  “I’m good. Just checking to make sure tomorrow night still works for you?”

  “I’m planning on it. What time? Do you want me to just meet you in Cape?”

  “No, I’ll pick you up. I’m … a little old-fashioned that way.”

  She smiled into the phone. “That’s fine with me.” Actually it was more than fine.

  “Why don’t we say six o’clock? That work?”

  “I’ll be ready. Do I need to dress up?”

  “Oh. No. Casual. And comfortable shoes for walking … if that’s okay?”

  “Sure. Sounds nice.” She slipped off her flip-flops in the back hallway, tucked the phone onto her shoulder, and retrieved the bouquet from the washer.

  “So, did you have to bring in a dumpster for all the wedding trash?” Luke’s voice held a smile.

  Laughing, she rummaged in the cupboards for a vase. “A large leaf bag did the trick. It’s spotless up there now.”

  “Good. I was feeling bad for you and Britt.”

  “Oh, don’t. My dad helped us clean up.”

  “That’s good. Is he still there? I don’t mean to keep you from time with him …”

  “No, Dad went back Tuesday. But that’s sweet of you to ask. It’s been pretty quiet around here, especially with Phee and Quinn gone.” She trimmed the stems of the bouquet and tucked them into the vase.

  “Oh? The honeymooners aren’t home yet?”

  “Not until Sunday. But Phee’s been sending us pictures and texts. It looks like they’re having a blast.”

  “I forget where they were going. Or maybe they aren’t telling?”

  “Oh, they’re telling now. They’re in Hawaii. On Maui as of yesterday. Phee says it’s beautiful.”

  “I’ve never been, but it sounds like a nice place to go. Maria—Mateo’s mom—always wanted to go there before she …” An overlong pause. “Well, she never made it.”

  “I’m so sorry. That’s so sad.” After the words were out, she worried it sounded too … personal. But he was the one who’d brought up the subject of Maria.

  “Yeah, well, it’s probably pretty nice where she is now. She and Jesus were pretty tight. Especially there at the end.”

  Again, Jo could hear the smile in his tone.

  “Oh, that’s good to hear. I’m glad.” She wasn’t sure if his comment made her feel better or just made her wonder more about what, exactly, Luke’s relationship with Maria had been. She determined to find out before she got too … attached to the man. Then again …

  Too late, Chandler.

  “Right this way.” The hostess turned to lead the way through the darkened dining room of Bella Italia.

  Jo started to follow, but Luke raised his voice. “Excuse me … Miss?”

  The server turned, eyebrows raised.

  “Is the patio open tonight?” He turned to Jo, a question in his expression. “Is it okay with you if we eat outside?”

  “Sure. It’s a gorgeous evening. I’d hate to waste it being inside.” Yet another reason to like this man. He understood the charm of an al fresco meal.

  The young woman consulted the seating chart at the host stand. “Yes, I can seat you on the patio. Follow me.”

  A few minutes later, they were sipping sweet tea on the covered patio in front of the restaurant. Red-and-white checked tablecloths fluttered in the breeze and though traffic passed slowly on North Spanish Street in front of them, the everyday noises in this lively section of the city near the Mississippi River provided a rather pleasant cacophony for dinner music. And they caught whiffs of tangy red sauce and fresh-grated parmesan every time their server opened the door from the inside.

  Luke perused the menu. “Have you tried their lasagna?”

  Jo shook her head. “I’ve only eaten here one other time. I don’t remember what I had, but it wasn’t lasagna.”

  Luke shot her an incredulous glance. “You’ve lived here all your life and you’ve only eaten at Bella Italia once? The lasagna is my favorite. But order whatever you like.”

  “Sure, I’ll try it. I’ve never met a lasagna I didn’t like.” She didn’t tell him that she made a pretty mean lasagna herself—one reason the Chandlers rarely chose Italian when they ate out.

  While they waited for their entrees, Luke tore off hunks of yeasty warm-from-the-oven bread from a round loaf and handed one to her. They dipped the bread in the plate of olive oil and herbs the server brought. They spoke easily of the weather, of Phee and Quinn’s wedding, and about the sights passing by their little window on the world of Cape Girardeau, Missouri.

  “So, where is Mateo this evening?” She felt guilty for not wanting to bring up the subject of Mateo, but it was only polite to inquire.

  She was sorry she’d asked when a deep V of worry furrowed the spot between Luke’s dark eyebrows. “He’s with a guy I work with and his wife.”

  “Oh? Are they foster parents?”

  “No. Just good friends. They offered to take him for a few hours this evening. So he wouldn’t have to be alone.”

  “Oh, I see.” Her own disappointment surprised her a little and she realized she still held out hope that Mateo would be going to a foster family. “Well … it’s nice you have someone to watch him for an evening.”

  “It is. I want to make sure he’s handling everything okay… with Maria’s death … before I leave him for too long. Especially at night. It seems like things are always worse after dark.”

  She nodded, remembering that had been true for her and her sisters when Mom was so sick.

  “It’s just hard to know how he’s doing. He’s usually a pretty easygoing kid. And quiet. So I can’t tell if he’s more quiet than usual or if it’s something I should be worried about.”

  She wouldn’t have labeled the kid quiet from what she’d seen. But maybe he was, in comparison to other kids his age. “Is Mateo seeing someone … for counseling?”

  “He’s had a couple of sessions, but he doesn’t say much afterward. And I don’t want to pry. His mom always said to just wait. That he’d get around to telling her whatever was eating him when he was ready. I wasn’t really around him enough to know if that was true or not.”

  “Wow … That’s got to be hard.”

  “It’s sure not easy. Mateo’s confided in me about some things … issues at school, that kind of thing. But I’m sure there’s a lot going on inside his head that he’s not saying.” He took a sip of iced tea. “Now that he’s lost his mom, I mean.”

  Taking a deep breath, Jo decided to just go for it. Get it out in the open. “So, were you and Maria … dating?”

  He hesitated for half a second too long before shaking his head. “No. No, we were just … friends.” Another crucial hesitation.

  She stared at him across the table. There was definitely someth
ing he wasn’t telling her. The thought that came next made her take in a sharp breath. Was Luke Mateo’s father? That would explain why he’d been saddled with raising a child whose only relationship to him was as Big and Little. Otherwise, it just didn’t make sense. Surely the kid had some extended family member who could take him in. And even if not, wouldn’t he be better off in a two-parent family?

  “Everything okay?” She looked up to see Luke staring at her with a quizzical glint in his eyes.

  She tilted her head. “What?”

  “Did you forget something?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You just … almost gasped there a second ago.”

  “Oh. Sorry. I … didn’t mean to.” She dared to meet his gaze. “I admit though … I’m curious. May I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “I don’t mean to pry, but it seems like there’s maybe more to the story—with Mateo—than I … understand. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want—obviously—but I just wondered.”

  “More than the Big Brothers thing, you mean?”

  She nodded, her stomach muscles tensing.

  “I don’t know that there’s more. I think I told you we were matched through the program five years ago. I got involved in Big Brothers through a campaign the radio station was doing for the organization. To be honest, I figured it’d just be a short-term thing.” He gave a low laugh and fidgeted with the string of brown beads at his neck. She’d noticed he always wore those beads. “I sure never thought it would end like this.”

  Jo nodded, her silent question still not answered. “I bet. So, you just liked it that much? Or … you and Mateo just hit it off?”

  He shrugged. “A little of both, I guess. I never realized what a difference I could make in a kid’s life.” He looked down at the table. “That sounded braggy. It just wasn’t something I’d ever thought about. I have great parents so I guess I never paid attention to kids who didn’t.”

  “Maria wasn’t a good mom?”

  “Oh … No, that’s not what I meant. She was a good mom. A great mom. I just meant that Mateo’s dad wasn’t in the picture. He actually passed away when Mateo was five. Shortly before I became Mateo’s Big.”

  “How sad.” Jo didn’t know whether to feel relieved or worried. Because if Luke wasn’t Mateo’s father, then maybe his commitment to the kid had more to do with Maria.

  Luke seemed not to notice her disquiet. “Maria really struggled going it alone. She got him involved in the program because he was starting to act out and have issues because of losing his dad.”

  “Wow. That must have felt like a huge responsibility.”

  “It probably should have. And the training stressed what a responsibility it is. I’m not sure I took it that seriously the first year or two. But then the little guy grew on me. And after that, he just became part of my life. We’re actually not even officially part of the program anymore.”

  “Really?”

  He shrugged. “Once I got to know Maria—and I earned her trust—we kind of turned into friends and interacted that way. I think it was easier for her that way.”

  “Easier?”

  “The organization supervises matches pretty closely—understandably—and when the caseworker who was assigned to our match moved away, we kind of drifted into … family-and-friends mode, I guess you’d call it. We’d gotten into a routine over the years, and it seemed easier to keep up what we were doing instead of starting over with a new caseworker.”

  “I can see that. Either way, it’s a really neat thing that you took Mateo under your wing.”

  He gave a short laugh. “My mom didn’t see it that way. She’s never been thrilled with the idea.”

  The server came with steaming plates of lasagna, then grated fresh parmesan over each plate. They ate in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the food with appreciative smiles and moans.

  “See? Did I steer you wrong?” Luke looked pleased that she was enjoying the meal so much.

  “You did not. It’s delicious. Thank you.” Then, despite her earlier reluctance to open the topic of Mateo, her curiosity won out. “You were saying, earlier, that your mom wasn’t crazy about you being a Big Brother. Why?”

  He rolled his eyes, then feigned a falsetto tone. “Oh, Lukas, you don’t want to get involved with something like that. Those are rough kids. You could end up getting taken advantage of. Or shot.”

  She laughed. “I don’t even know your mom and I can tell that’s a great imitation.”

  His mouth curved into a charming grin. “I told her I wasn’t too worried about getting gunned down by a seven-year-old. But she said, ‘That’s not what I mean. That seven-year-old will grow up before you know it. And he might blame you for every bad thing that ever happened to him.’”

  “Well, I suppose it has happened.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe. But like I told Mom, if that happens, I’ll just go into the witness protection program.”

  Jo laughed again, but stopped when it struck her that he might be serious. Yet his smile said he wasn’t. She studied him, that smile of his doing strange things to her insides.

  “So …” She sopped up the last of the olive oil with a crust of bread. “Have your parents ever met Mateo? Did they meet Maria?” It was a fishing question, but her curiosity didn’t care.

  He shook his head. “They haven’t met either of them. But that’s not really their fault. They don’t travel much anymore. They’re both in their seventies now and my dad’s health isn’t great. I was their ‘oops’ kid,” he explained with an impish grin. “Came along when Mom was forty-two.”

  “Wow!” Too late, Joanna realized how horrified she sounded.

  Luke laughed. “They’d given up on having kids when nothing happened after their first five years of marriage, and then ten years later, boom! Can you imagine?”

  She shook her head with a nervous laugh. “Sorry if I sounded … appalled. But no. I really can’t.”

  “Of course, they thought I was well worth the wait.”

  She laughed again and matched his playful tone. “Oh, I’m sure you were.”

  “They’re cool people though. You’d like them. And my mom has mellowed with the whole Big Brother thing. But um … full disclosure: I haven’t told my parents that Mateo is living with me full-time now.”

  “You haven’t?”

  “I will. As soon as everything gets worked out. But it will only worry them now, and since they’re so far away—they live in Phoenix—it really serves no purpose to say anything.”

  She nodded cautiously. Before Mom passed away, Jo couldn’t have imagined not sharing something that significant with her parents. Maybe it was different for guys. And the truth was, now that Dad lived in Florida, there were things—even important things—he didn’t know about her life. That she was on a date with Lukas tonight, for instance. It wasn’t that she was keeping secrets, but simply because there was no sense troubling Dad about things that might make him worry from afar.

  Maybe it was the same for Luke. Especially since his parents were older and didn’t live nearby. And his mom was already hesitant about Mateo. “I guess if you’re only going to have him for a short time, there’s no sense upsetting your parents.”

  He gave her a look she couldn’t interpret. “A short time?”

  “Until he gets placed with a family or—”

  “Can I interest you folks in some dessert?” The server propped a small dessert menu between them on the table, but they both groaned in response.

  The server retrieved their ticket and slipped it into a folder. She placed it on the table in front of Luke, and he pulled several bills from his wallet and tucked them inside the folder. “I don’t need change,” he told the girl. “Thank you.”

  Jo took a sip of her sweet tea, then placed her napkin on the table and leaned back in her chair. “I won’t need to eat for a week.”

  “Good stuff though, huh?”

  “Deliciou
s.” Not as good as what she made, in her humble opinion. But still excellent. “Thank you for dinner.”

  “It was my pleasure.” He pushed back his chair. “I thought we might go for a walk down by the river. Does that sound okay?”

  “I wore my comfortable shoes.” Smiling, she scooted her own chair back and pointed a toe to show him her shoes—which were comfortable, but also exceptionally cute, according to Britt, who had the fashion sense in the family. “It’ll feel good to walk off some of the calories I just consumed.”

  He patted his flat stomach. “You’ve got that right.” He motioned to the small purse hanging on the back of her chair. “Do you want to put your bag in the truck?”

  “That would be good. Thanks.”

  They walked to his pickup and deposited the purse. Luke locked the vehicle and pointed toward the river. “I’ve always loved to watch the barges on the river.”

  She smiled. “Sounds like a guy thing.”

  He started to say something, but his phone buzzed audibly in his pocket. He gave her an apologetic look. “Sorry, but I’d better check this.”

  “Of course.”

  Luke fished his phone out and frowned at the screen. “Uh-oh. It’s Don Shubert. Where Mateo is staying. I’m sorry.”

  She worked to mask her frustration. “It’s fine.” She did appreciate him asking. Ben never had. In fact, his addiction to his phone had caused more than one argument between them.

  It seemed strange to be thinking of Ben after all this time. But the truth was, this was only the third date she’d been on since she and Ben had broken up almost a year and a half ago. It was hard not to make comparisons.

  “Hey, Don. Everything okay?” Luke listened, his frown lines deepening. “How long ago was that? Oh, man. I’m sorry about that.” More frowning. “No, of course not. I can get there in about twenty minutes.”

  He clicked off with a deep sigh. “I am so sorry. Apparently Mateo threw up after dinner and he’s still not feeling well. I’m going to have to take a rain check on that walk.”

  “Of course …” She had to work to keep the disappointment from her voice. “I understand. I hope it’s not something serious.”