Chasing Dreams

by Deborah Raney

  Phee pivoted in the driver’s seat. “So, where are we going for lunch?”

  Jo smirked. “Someplace where they don’t play country music.”

  “Very funny.” Without looking behind her, Britt reached back and swatted at Jo.

  Phee braked hard at the entrance to the street. “Don’t make me stop this car. Now I know why Mom couldn’t take you two anywhere in the same car.”

  “Ha! You have a lot of room to talk, Phylicia Chandler.” Britt swatted at her too.

  Phee gave an indelicate snort. “Excuse me, that’s Phylicia Mitchell to you.”

  “Whatever. You punished us with Beethoven every Sunday on the way to church.”

  “That was not punishment. That was education.”

  She and Britt both groaned, but even as they did, Jo’s heart swelled with love for her sisters. She didn’t know how she would have gotten through their ordeal with Mom, and then Dad moving to Florida, without these two. Phee and Britt truly had become her dearest friends, and she was so proud to be their sister. It was fun to go out in public with them, too, because—looking so much alike as they did—they turned heads whenever the three of them went anywhere together. And, according to Ben anyway, that was partly because they were “no slouches.” She smiled at the remembrance.

  Ben. She still didn’t know how she felt about him. If her sisters asked about him today, and if she was honest with them, she’d have to say “indifferent.” That wasn’t exactly a great endorsement. But maybe it was merely an extension of the peace she’d felt about … well, everything … since she’d started praying and seeking to discover what God wanted for her life instead of relying on her own chaotic desires.

  “How about that one coffee shop down toward the river? Do they serve lunch?” Phee flipped her blinker on and merged with traffic on Kingshighway.

  “Baristas, you mean?” Jo pulled a lip gloss from her purse and slicked it on then pressed her lips together.

  “Ooh, they have hummus!” Britt pointed at the left lane. “Turn here, Phee. Let’s go there.”

  “Fine by me. They have a good salad. And sandwiches and wraps.” Jo zipped her purse and stretched to check her appearance in the rearview mirror.

  There was a line at Baristas, but it moved quickly and soon the sisters were seated at a table by the window with salads and hummus to share. They giggled through lunch, but when they’d finished eating, Phylicia pulled out her planner, ready to get down to business. Britt did likewise.

  “So, what’s the report, Britt?” Phee smoothed a page of her planner and looked expectantly at their youngest sister.

  “Nothing really new, but we’re still in the black, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Britt caught them up on some issues she’d had with their Airbnb account, and then went over the reservations calendar. “If we can keep the main cottage booked on weekends, that pays the utilities and then some.”

  Phee frowned. “I just wish we could book one other night during the week so we aren’t constantly draining the reno fund.”

  “What are you thinking? That we need to advertise?” Britt sounded skeptical.

  “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “But where?” Britt’s frown matched Phylicia’s. “It seems like our listing on Airbnb should be advertisement enough. That’s the first place … really the only place people go looking to book an Airbnb rental.”

  Jo saw her opening. “What if we brought in income another way?”

  “Like what?” Phee looked genuinely interested and Jo took the plunge.

  “Like renting out the clearing as a wedding venue. I think we could make some serious money doing that. And I’d love to manage it.”

  “Oh, Jo …” Phee sighed. “I just think there’d be too many hoops to jump through. The insurance alone would probably eat up any profits.”

  “Trenton would know. Can I just look into it? We’ve already done one wedding up there, and it was amazing. And all we’d be doing is providing the venue. We wouldn’t have to decorate or do the food or flowers unless we wanted to.”

  “Oh, I’m sure Mary would be happy to do flowers.” Phee seemed to be considering her idea. “And that was an amazing wedding we put on up there. I can’t argue with that.”

  Britt laughed. “She got you, Phee. Hook, line, and sinker.”

  “I’ll admit it. But seriously, what could it hurt to have Jo check into what it would take? Especially if she’s willing to manage the venue.”

  “Sure, but what do you want to bet that means I’ll get stuck with even more of the cottage rental duties?”

  “Or you could get a job and we could hire it out.” Jo smiled, hoping to soften the barb, but it needed to be said. She swore sometimes Britt seemed determined to live up to the spoiled-baby-of-the-family trope.

  Britt gave her the stink eye. “Yeah, yeah, fine. I get your point.”

  “You won’t be so swamped once the cabins are finished, honey.” Phee patted Britt’s hand and spoke in her doting big-sister voice. “I know you’ve been putting a lot of hours in there painting and stuff, but we’re so close to getting the last cabin done. Then things will be easier.”

  “Except for you,” Jo reminded her. “How’s the house coming along?”

  Phee sighed. “Slow. Everything seems to take twice as long as they say it will. I’m either going to be a very patient woman when this is all over, or—” She laughed. “I don’t know what other option I have.”

  “Well, I’m just glad you guys are going to be living out by us.” Britt looked vulnerable and Jo felt sorry about her comment. She knew it was a sore spot for Britt. And they’d already agreed it’d be best if Britt didn’t have an outside job.

  “Me too.” Phee looked from Britt to Jo, pen hovering over her calendar. “Now, shall we get back to our schedule? Jo, do you mind doing breakfasts again next weekend?”

  “I don’t mind. How many will it be again? It’s only the cottage, right? They don’t need the—”

  Her phone buzzed on the table beside her, and Jo looked down to see Ben’s name. “Sorry.”

  She turned her phone over so her sisters wouldn’t see who was calling.

  But Phee gave a little wave. “Go ahead, if you need to take that. We’re almost done anyway.”

  She wanted to protest. She wasn’t really in the mood to talk to Ben, but her sisters would wonder what was up if she didn’t take the call.

  Jo tapped Talk and scooted her chair back. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Jo. It’s Ben.”

  “Oh … Hi.” She rose and walked to the entryway of the restaurant, out of her sisters’ hearing.

  CHAPTER 31

  HOW ARE YOU, JO?” BEN’S deep voice was full of confidence.

  “I’m good.”

  “I hope I’m not interrupting. I was hoping to catch you on your lunch hour.”

  “You did. But I’m having lunch out with my sisters. Downtown.”

  “Oh … Sorry to interrupt. Well, I’ll make this quick. I wondered if you’d like to have dinner this weekend? Saturday night?”

  “Ben, I—” She started to turn him down. God had given her peace, but she also knew that things would never be right with her and Ben. But if she told him no now, he’d only call again. And she needed to talk to him face to face. She may as well say yes and get a difficult conversation out of the way. But she’d have to make her intentions clear from the start. Maybe they could be friends now. But that was all.

  “Jo? You there?”

  “Sorry. I’m here. Just … checking my calendar.” She did that quickly, so it wouldn’t be a lie. But she knew her schedule was free. “Saturday should be fine. Let me meet you somewhere, okay?”

  “I don’t mind picking you up.”

  “I know. And I appreciate that. But … I’d rather meet you.”

  “Suit yourself. How about Bella Italia? I know you like that.”

  She did. But she’d last been there with Luke. She sort of wanted to keep those memories separate
. “Would you mind if we went to Port Cape Girardeau?”

  “Fine by me.” She’d forgotten that peeved tone from their dating days.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Whatever you want, Jo. I’m not picky. You know that.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you there. Six thirty okay? I need to get home at a decent hour. I have to make breakfast the next morning.”

  A too-long pause. “So now you have to schedule time to make breakfast? That sounds like the famous ‘Sorry, I have to shampoo my hair that night’ excuse.”

  She laughed. “Breakfast for guests, silly. We have people staying at the Airbnb most weekends now. It’s my turn to cook.”

  “Oh. I forgot about that.” His laughter sounded like relief. “How’s that going, by the way?”

  “Really well. That’s why my sisters and I were having lunch. A board meeting of sorts,” she explained, hoping he’d take the hint.

  “Ahh. Well, tell them hello. I’ll see you Saturday. You’re sure you don’t want me to pick you up?”

  “Thanks, but I’m sure. See you at six thirty.”

  “So six fifty, then?” She could almost see his smirk.

  “No …” His comment stung a little, but she had it coming. She’d been perpetually late when they’d dated before. “I’ve reformed my ways. You’ll see.”

  “Okay then. Well … Bye.”

  She hung up feeling bad that she hadn’t exactly been kind to Ben. Not that she’d been rude, but certainly not her usual friendly way with him. But maybe her coolness was a good way to preface telling Ben how things needed to be between them. He wouldn’t like it, but given how she’d responded to his affection last time, she didn’t trust her own feelings. Besides, Ben’s moods or attitudes weren’t her responsibility, nor were his—

  “Hi, Jo.”

  She looked up from her phone into Luke Blaine’s gray eyes. “Luke! Hi.”

  She felt—unreasonably—like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

  “How are you?” He motioned toward the Marquette Tower building where Baristas was housed on the ground floor. “I’m waiting on Mateo. You here for lunch?”

  She nodded. “With my sisters.” She pointed through the window where she could see Phee and Britt behind the reflection of North Fountain Street. “We’re just finishing up. Were you here for lunch? I … didn’t see you.”

  “We ate over in the lobby.” He nodded toward the north end of the building where the little restaurant had overflow seating in the elegant lobby. “They have this place looking really nice. I hadn’t been here since they were in this building.”

  “It’s great.” She caught movement behind the plate-glass windows. Phee and Britt were clearing their table and gathering their things. “Oh … here come my sisters now.”

  “I’m sorry. I hope you were finished eating.”

  “Oh, long ago. This was actually a lunch meeting.” She smiled. “Any excuse to eat out.”

  It hadn’t been even three weeks since she’d seen him last, but she’d already forgotten how his smile lit those gold-flecked eyes of his.

  Mateo jogged out from the lobby entrance and Luke bent to whisper in his ear, but loud enough for Jo to hear. “Did you wash your hands?”

  The boy opened his mouth to answer, but then his shoulders sagged in resignation. Without another word, he turned to trudge back into the building.

  Luke rolled his eyes, looking embarrassed.

  But Jo laughed. “At least he told the truth.”

  “Good point. Score one for the Big.”

  She started to reply, but just then, Phee and Britt came out of the restaurant entrance onto the sidewalk. She looked over Luke’s shoulder at them.

  Phee waved a hand at her. “There you are. Everything okay?”

  Luke turned to face Phee and Britt and gave a polite nod.

  “Well, hi there.” Phee greeted him warmly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  “It’s okay. We just … ran into each other.” Jo motioned to Luke. “You remember Luke?”

  “Of course! It’s good to see you again.” Phee put out a hand.

  Luke shook it, then Britt’s hand in turn. “You too.”

  “Where’s your sidekick?” Phee smiled.

  “Oh, he’s here with me.” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “He went inside to wash his hands.”

  “I hope he’s getting along all right.” Phee’s voice held such compassion. Compassion Jo knew was genuine. “I’ve thought about him so often. And prayed for him. And you too.”

  “Thank you.” Luke bowed his head briefly, obviously moved. “We’re hanging in there.”

  Joanna’s limbs grew heavy with guilt. Had she even once asked Luke how Mateo was doing? Had she prayed for Luke as he tried to take care of a grieving child? Or for the boy as he tried to figure out a world without a mom? A genuine prayer? Not just her selfish wishes that Mateo would somehow be gone from Luke’s life.

  And yet, even her sister had apparently been praying for them, and was thoughtful enough to tell Luke that.

  Jo sighed. She had such a long way to go. She felt even guiltier about her comment—and her unkind thoughts—about Britt just moments ago. She was the one who had a lot of growing up to do.

  “Well, nice to see you again, Luke.” Phee touched Jo’s arm and lowered her voice. “We’ll meet you in the car. No hurry.”

  “Yes, you too.” Luke gave a little wave.

  While Phee and Britt strolled up the street to where they’d parked the car, Luke turned to Jo. “I didn’t mean to keep you. You probably need to get back to work.”

  They stood on the sidewalk in front of Baristas, the awkward silence growing between them exacerbated by the fact that she knew her sisters were waiting for her in the car, no doubt watching her every move.

  She was almost relieved when Mateo appeared again, his water-splashed shirt evidence that he’d accomplished the task Luke sent him away for. She tried to think how Phee would have interacted with him. “Hey, Mateo. How’s it going?”

  He seemed surprised that she’d spoken to him. “Good.” He twisted the bead necklace he was never without. The one that matched Luke’s. “Did you see us at Andy’s that one night? We saw you! But Luke wouldn’t let me holler at you.”

  “I did see you.” She smiled woodenly, then looked up at Luke briefly before turning back to Mateo. “I wasn’t sure it was you until you guys were almost out of the parking lot.”

  Luke ruffled Mateo’s hair. “Why don’t you go unlock the car for me, buddy.” He fished in his pocket, then handed the keys to Mateo. “Roll the windows down. I’ll be there in just a sec.”

  Luke watched Mateo stroll to the car, waiting in silence until he heard the abbreviated toots of the horn that indicated Mateo had gotten the car unlocked.

  He looked at the sidewalk briefly before meeting her eyes. “I wasn’t … stalking you. At Andy’s. I hope you know that.”

  “Of course not. I never thought that.” She felt bad that he’d worried for a minute that she might think such a thing.

  “Listen, if you’re … seeing someone now, I understand. I didn’t mean to put any … strings on this.” He motioned between them. “You don’t owe me any—”

  “No, I should have called. I really should have. It’s just that … I don’t really have an answer for you yet, Luke.” She felt like a jerk not confessing that she’d just accepted another date with Ben. But if she told Luke that, he’d surely take it as a sign that she was blowing him off.

  And she wasn’t. Not at all.

  “There’s no rush on my account.”

  “I really didn’t mean to leave you hanging. I’ve been praying. A lot. And I … haven’t forgotten you.” She took in a short breath. That hadn’t come out quite right. She’d only meant to acknowledge that she remembered her promise to let him know her decision. But she realized too late that the words could mean something quite different to him than she’d intended.

  Ma
ybe it was a Freudian slip though, because the truth was, she hadn’t forgotten him. She thought of him almost constantly. Him and Mateo.

  And that was the problem. Luke still came with strings attached. Long strings.

  She looked past him to where her sisters waited in the car. “I’d better go. I have to get back to work. But I … I would like to talk to you again.”

  He cocked his head as if trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean. “I’d like that too. You let me know when you’re ready. I won’t bother you until then.”

  “You’ve never bothered me, Luke. This isn’t about you.”

  “It’s about Mateo?” He looked back to where his car was parked.

  Jo could see the boy bouncing around inside the front seat. “No, that’s not what I meant. I just mean … I’m trying to get my head on straight. Get things right with God before I can figure anything else out.”

  “Well, I can’t argue with that.”

  She smiled. “I’ll call you. I will.”

  “Like I said, no rush. You do what you need to do.” He took a couple of steps backward and lifted a hand. “It was good to see you.”

  “You too. Bye, Luke.”

  He gave a brief nod, turned on his heel, and walked to the car without looking back.

  It was all Jo could do not to run after him. But when he opened the door, Mateo’s voice floated on the air like a warning.

  Luke and Mateo were a package deal. And there was simply no changing that.

  CHAPTER 32

  JO NOTCHED UP THE CRUISE control, determined to arrive on time and prove to Ben that she’d turned over a new leaf. But she’d gotten a late start tonight, thanks to a little midsummer garden project she was working on behind the cottage. Inspired by Luke’s backyard, Jo took advantage of the end of summer garden center sales and bought some perennials to plant. She also hadn’t been able to resist purchasing a few of the colorful potted arrangements that, sadly, weren’t on sale. But they added instant drama to the landscaping. She’d worked outside until dark every evening this week, and tonight that little garden had delayed her leaving the house.