Change My Mind

by Ali Parker

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She was beyond arrogant.

  “I suppose she doesn’t,” I murmured. I didn’t think that was a bad thing. Maybe that was why I was so drawn to her. She didn’t belong in our world and she was nothing like Tawny and the other women that lived in our world.

  “Birds of a feather flock together,” she said in a sing-song voice. “We make sense. You and she do not. Please tell me you can see that. You are not the type to be blinded by a pretty girl. You’ve grown up with money. You know how these things are. Girls like her come and go. It’s the same for me. I’ve been attracted to men and enjoyed their company, but they were never going to be a permanent part of my life.”

  “Actually, no, I can’t see that. You don’t know Harper. You don’t know me. You know nothing about me.”

  “Chase, you’re a wealthy man. You come from a wealthy family.”

  Listening to her talk, I realized she’d done her research on me. She was looking at me because of my name, not who I was. She was looking for a partner that would make her richer and more powerful.

  “Harper knows me and has known me for a long time. She doesn’t care about my money.”

  She scoffed. “Oh, don’t be naïve. You need to be with someone who understands the demands of your life and what kind of responsibility that puts on you. I get it. I know the ins and outs.”

  “I am wealthy, and I am a successful business owner, but that doesn’t mean I want someone like me. Quite the opposite. I want someone to balance me. I want someone to pull my head out of my ass when I’m too far up in there.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure what you are suggesting, but my head is exactly where it should be. I’m a powerful woman and some people are naturally offended by that.”

  “I am a lot of things, and I’ve recently learned I can be arrogant, but I would never hire someone for a fake job to get to someone else. If I want someone, I go directly to the source. Using people is not cool.”

  She actually laughed. “Be flattered, Chase. I’m a desirable woman with plenty of men interested in being with me. I’m chasing you. I could have been direct, but what fun would that have been?”

  “You don’t get to laugh at the fact you used someone. They aren’t toys for you to play with so you can get your rocks off. That’s not okay. You have a certain responsibility to the people you hire. Using them is unacceptable.”

  As I said the words, I thought about Jake and Parker. I owed them a big apology. A huge apology. I used my position to force Jake into telling me something he wasn’t comfortable telling. That wasn’t cool. I finally understood what Cori was pissed about. Using my position to gain something from those that worked for me without giving them an option was wrong.

  “Do you carry that soapbox around with you?” she snapped.

  She was pissed. I didn’t care. The woman needed a reality check. She was probably going to blackball me. I’d figure that out when it happened.

  “I’ll see you around,” I said and stood up to leave.

  “Don’t you dare walk away from me,” she hissed.

  I ignored her and did exactly that. I looked up and down the wide hall, trying to find Harper. I assumed she was waiting for Tawny to leave or for me to leave. Tawny made it abundantly clear Harper was not wanted at the table, which was pretty messed up considering she’d been there first. She was pissed that I was walking away, and normally, I might actually feel a little guilty about that, but not now. I tried to keep the peace most of the time, but Tawny’s behavior had been deplorable. I could not stand to hear the woman speak another disgusting word.

  I walked out the front doors, scanning the parking lot for Harper’s car. I remembered a small parking lot on the back side of the mall and walked all the way around. There was no way I was going to risk going back inside and running into Tawny. I was assuming it was the employee parking area. Unfortunately, I didn’t see Harper’s car. She was gone.

  Again.

  Damn if I didn’t have a terrible time keeping track of the woman. She was always leaving me. It was getting to be a real annoyance. I walked back around to my SUV and climbed in. I started the engine but didn’t leave. I didn’t know where to go. I could ask Parker where she was staying but I wouldn’t. I would not put Parker in that position again. This was my problem to fix. I didn’t need to keep dragging Parker and Jake into my mess. I needed to figure it out on my own. Using Parker was cheating in a way. I felt like I needed to pay penance for fucking everything up so badly. This was on me and me alone to fix.

  I started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. On the way back to my resort, I drove through a few parking lots of other hotels in the area with the hope I would find Harper. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. She wasn’t there.

  I drove back to my resort. Instead of going to my office, I went up to my suite. Yes, I was sulking again. I didn’t have the energy to face Jake. He would ask me what happened. I didn’t really know what happened. I felt foolish telling him or anyone the real story. I dropped my keys on the side table and grabbed a water from my personal fridge.

  On the off chance she would talk to me, I called her phone. She didn’t answer. I wasn’t surprised. I sent her a text asking if we could talk. I waited and waited for a reply and got nothing. I wasn’t surprised. It seemed like every time I got within reach of having her, she was jerked away from me again. I couldn’t catch a break.

  Chapter 67

  Harper

  I opened the freezer and stared at the contents—rather the lack of contents. I was down to my last pint of Ben and Jerry’s. I could go to the corner market and get more, but I made a deal with myself last night I would only eat what I had on hand. I wouldn’t buy any more. The ice-cream binge was my little treat for the bullshit I endured yesterday.

  I wanted to put Vail behind. Vail and all the people in it. I was hurt by what Tawny had done. Chase sat there and listened to it. I didn’t know if he agreed with her, but he certainly never made any attempt to jump to my defense. It was like Tawny had woven a spell over him. The man I thought I knew was under her control. I wanted nothing to do with him or his new girlfriend.

  I grabbed a spoon from the drawer and sat down on my couch. It felt good to be home. My apartment wasn’t anything fancy, but it was clean and comfortable, and it was mine. I stretched out my legs and dug into the ice cream. I wasn’t bothering with bowls. That was a waste of time and only made more dishes.

  When my phone rang, my first thought—or hope maybe—was Chase. He called once and then not again. I assumed he was going to tell me goodbye or something like that. Or maybe he had my referral letter. I was holding him to his promise that he would give me one. I did nothing that didn’t deserve one, except the whole quitting a week early maybe, but that could not be held against me. I hoped.

  I looked down and saw it was Parker. I felt bad for not calling her last night and explaining the situation. “Hello,” I answered around a mouthful of creamy chocolate ice cream.

  “Ice cream?” she said.

  I looked down into the tub and figured there was no point in denying it. “Yes. I needed it.”

  “Where are you?”

  “Home.”

  “Home as in the hotel?” she questioned.

  “Nope. Home as in my home. My apartment.”

  She groaned. “Oh no. You really left.”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “What happened yesterday? Did you go back and talk to them?”

  “Nope. I got in my car, packed my shit, and drove home.”

  “I hate that you aren’t here.”

  “I’m sorry but I couldn’t be there. I feel like a total fool for believing Tawny actually wanted to hire me. I should have accepted Oliver’s job offer.”

  “The rich guy?” she questioned.

  “I think they are all rich in that city.”

  “Not my guy,” she said with a laugh.

  “Yes, the rich guy. I pr
obably burned that bridge too though. I bet he knew why Tawny wanted to hire me. He was probably trying to save me from myself. I was too stupid to see it. I thought she actually wanted me for my skills. She only wanted to use me as bait.”

  “That’s awful. Who does that?”

  “She does apparently.”

  “Have you talked to Chase?”

  “No,” I answered.

  “Do you think he knew?”

  I thought about it for a few seconds. “No. He seemed just as blindsided as I was.”

  “I guess that’s a good thing.”

  “I feel like such an idiot,” I groaned.

  “Why would you feel like an idiot?”

  “Because I should have known it was too good to be true. She wanted to go to the resort to have a drink to offer me a job. I felt all powerful and wanted. She wasn’t there to see me. She was there to see Chase. She was all dressed up. She told me she had plans for later, but I bet it was just her trying to hook up with him.”

  “You could not have possibly known,” she assured me.

  “Then when I started the so-called job, there was no paperwork, no office, nothing. I just thought she was one of those people who was good with a handshake. We didn’t even talk about money. I am an idiot. A complete idiot.”

  “You trusted her. That isn’t your fault.”

  “I thought she could be my mentor. I actually admired her. I thought we were going to be friends. I had no idea she thought I was a disposable piece of trash.”

  “You are definitely not disposable, and you are not a piece of trash.”

  “Thanks.”

  “What are you going to do now?”

  “I’m going to look for a job I’m qualified for.”

  “You are very qualified, and Tawny is a fool for not using your talents. You could have made that mall of hers really spectacular. It’s her loss.”

  “I think it’s her win. Her little plan worked. She got Chase to go down there. She got to sink her claws into him. I’m sure they had a lovely lunch that probably turned into a lovely dinner.”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “I know for a fact Chase was back here early yesterday afternoon and he never left. I don’t think those talons got in too deep.”

  That made me feel moderately better. “Was she in the room with him?” I asked in a snide voice.

  “No, I saw him come in. He looked upset. He made a beeline right for the elevator.”

  I hoped he was upset. I was angry that I had been used, even if he wasn’t aware I was being used. It still sucked, and I felt like a complete fool. “Boohoo for him,” I said.

  “I’m really sorry. I know that doesn’t change anything, and it doesn’t make it better, but I am sorry this is all happening.”

  “It’s okay. I’m going to start looking for a job and put all of this behind me.”

  “Finish your ice cream. I’ll let you be sad for a little while longer. I know sometimes that’s what you have to do. You can’t get over it until you’ve gone through it.”

  I smirked. “That’s not very comforting.”

  “I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. I hate that you are sad.”

  I was sad. Very sad. But she was right. I needed to work through these feelings. “Thanks. It makes me feel better that you can commiserate.”

  “I’ll leave you alone with your ice cream. Treat yourself to some pizza and watch The Notebook again. Then tomorrow, or maybe the next day, you will have worked it all out of your system.”

  I groaned, taking another bite of ice cream. “I hope you are right. I hate feeling miserable.”

  “Nobody likes feeling miserable.”

  “I’m not going to say I regret taking that job, but I do in a way.”

  “I know you do. I will say thank you for taking one for the team. You brought me here, and I do love this job, and well, Jake. I never would have met him if it wasn’t for you.”

  “I’m glad at least one of us is getting a happy ending.”

  It was her turn to groan. “Oh man, I hate that you are feeling so down. Do you want me to come stay with you for a few days? I’m sure I can get the time off.”

  “No, absolutely not. You stay there and kick ass. You love up on Jake and make plans for your future. Do not let me bring you down. This is my problem, not yours.”

  “I’ll call you tomorrow and see how things are going. If you need anything, call me. I’ll be there in a flash, even if it’s just to bring you more ice cream.”

  “Thanks.”

  I stared down into the ice cream that was slowly melting. I was giving myself a few more hours to engage in self-pity and then it was going to be time to pick myself up and move on. I should have known it would be too hard to move forward in Vail. The place would always remind me of him. His presence would always be around.

  The best thing I could do was cut Chase out of my life once and for all. Being away from him was the first step toward doing that. Then again, cutting him out of my life was easier said than actually done. The only way I was able to cut him out the first time was because he walked out on me. I didn’t have to actually do the cutting.

  There were going to be a lot of memories sneaking up on me. I could feel them hovering, like my own mind was betraying me. I wanted to move forward and yet I was being haunted with those good times. I kept seeing his eyes staring into mine. I could smell him and hear his deep voice whispering next to my ear. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to move on when those memories were constantly assaulting me.

  If I was really interested in doing some serious thought, I would acknowledge I was my own worst enemy in the fight to get over him. I was doing a terrible job at cutting him out of my life. Going to work for him, sleeping with him with the promise it would be the last time, and the silly idea we could be friends and sleep together.

  I wasn’t programmed that way. Especially when it came to him. All those old feelings bubbled to the surface. The old feelings combined with the new ones, and I was lost. The man bent over backward to make me happy. Maybe I was the one in the wrong here. I walked away from him because I was pissed about an article that basically played out what I was secretly hoping would happen one day. It wasn’t that I didn’t want that with him, but I didn’t feel like we were at that place. It almost felt like he was making fun of me after reading my diary.

  The truth was, he put words to the feelings I had, and it terrified me. I hated knowing that he knew I was head over heels for him again. It scared me to give him that much power again. I felt like the moment he took that power, he was going to use it to hurt me. It probably wouldn’t even be intentional. We’d have our moment in the sun and things would be great. Then, he would leave. He would go to New York or wherever duty called. It would be for the best for him and me and blah, blah, blah.

  As much as I wanted him, I knew I couldn’t have him. He was out of my league. Tawny was more his style these days.

  I just hoped I didn’t have to see evidence of their relationship. I prayed it didn’t make it into the tabloids and local news blogs. I was going to have to be very careful not to stumble onto the wrong website. I didn’t think my heart could handle seeing the two of them together.

  I was starting fresh. I got up, tossed the ice cream into the trash, and washed my lands literally and figuratively. I could go anywhere. My parents would understand. I had a clean slate and I was ready to create a new life for myself. I said it before and I was going to keep saying it until I believed it. Chase was my past. There was no future for us. Not a happy one anyway.

  I turned off the lights and headed for the bathroom to take a long, hot bath. It was part of my self-care. Part of my getting ready for tomorrow. Tomorrow was the first day of the rest of my life. I was going to find a new job and I was not going to limit myself to Boulder.

  I was ready to move on.

  Chapter 68

  Chase

  I sipped the scotch in my hand, letting the liq
uid burn down my throat as I contemplated life in general. I was still coming up empty when it came to my big plan to win Harper back.

  Last night, I spent half the night trying to convince myself I didn’t want her back. It didn’t work. No matter how hard I tried to buy into the idea we were from different worlds and weren’t right for each other, I couldn’t believe it. I refused to believe it.

  Which left me back with the idea I needed to do something to get her back. I was planning on calling her again, but first, I needed a little liquid courage. I took another sip. I caught a glimpse of blonde hair and immediately searched for an escape.

  Cori sat down at the table across from me. “You’re hiding from me.”

  “I am not hiding from you.”

  “Liar. We have a few things to talk about.”

  I knew it was coming. There was no point in delaying the inevitable. “Let me have it.”

  “Oh, I plan to. First, let’s start with Nick.”

  “I was nice to him!” I said preemptively.

  She smiled. “I know you were and thank you for that.”

  “I’m not going to lie and pretend I was thrilled with the idea of you two together.”

  “I know.”

  “I am a little concerned, but you guys are adults. You can choose who you date. I hope it works out for you.”

  “Thank you. I’m sorry I broke our little deal not to date anyone. I promise I haven’t let my relationship with Nick interfere with my work.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. It was a stupid deal.”

  “Thank you for understanding, but I can see you aren’t really happy,” she said.

  “I am happy for you. Nick is a good guy. If he treats you right, then I have nothing negative to say.”