by Sofia Finn
“I don’t know if Ben ever told you we had a little sister?”
I shook my head, shock rendering me silent.
“We did. Haley.” A distant smile crossed his lips but disappeared as quickly as it appeared. “She was so tiny when she was born that I couldn’t believe it. I was around 5 at the time, and my mom let me hold her. She told me to be careful, that Haley was still fragile, according to the doctor. I remember asking my dad when she would grow up so that I could teach her how to play hockey. I was obsessed with hockey at the time. My dad told me that he didn’t know exactly when, but one day I could.”
He smiled sadly again. “But that day never came. She stayed relatively weak, and eventually, on her 1stbirthday, the doctors found out that she had brain cancer, a very rare meningioma. There were a few experimental treatments, but there was no cure as of then. My parents were willing to try everything. They threw a lot of money at it and funded the research, and eventually, there was a promising medicine. She was about four years old when she began treatment, and you should have seen her. Such a happy child. She was happy about the littlest things, about getting to go out and run in the grass, or when she finally got to use the pool for the first time. I’ve never seen my parents so happy since she was born. Everyone was happy. Haley was just one of those kids…you couldn’t help but love her, you know?”
He swallowed, and I got the impression he was holding back some powerful emotions. I didn’t want to, but I asked anyway, “What happened?”
Cage shook his head. “We were at Ben’s piano recital when we got the call. Haley had not been feeling too well that morning. She still had episodes where she was sick. It wasn’t bad; it might have just been the flu. Mom didn’t want to leave Haley at home, but Ben had a recital and we all wanted to be there for him. He had been practicing for months. Mom wanted one of us to stay home with Hailey, but dad thought it wasn’t necessary since the nurse and nanny were there. Ben was on stage playing when we got the call. Haley had collapsed from a heart attack. It was one of the side effects of the chemo, but we didn’t know it at the time. We rushed home, but by then, it was already too late. The nurse couldn’t revive her. She was gone.”
Pain. Pain unlike anything I’ve ever seen was reflected in his gaze. I felt tears coursing down my cheeks, tears for him, his family, and the sister he clearly still loved. “How old were you?”
“I was ten. Ben was eight. Jesus, Ben was…Ben was crushed. He thought it was his fault that it happened because we had left Haley alone. And my mother…she lost her mind. She started screaming immediately. It was like a switch was flipped. Then she fired everyone who had been at the house that day, the nurse, the servants, everyone. The doctor who created the cure…she made his life a living hell, and he lost his medical license. And then came the abuse. Mostly verbal but sometimes physical. I tried to keep Ben away from it, but he truly got the worst of it, especially after I left for school. My mom blamed him for dragging her away to his recital and blamed me for not staying at home with Hailey.”
“You were ten.” It was crazy to me. “What the hell could you have done?”
Cage smiled bitterly. “Mom didn’t care. My dad had shut everyone out and buried himself in work, so we were the only targets available for her anger. But that’s not the point. Maddie, the point I’m trying to make is that I know abusive parents. And I know neglectful ones, and you are neither. “
The ringing of my phone interrupted the conversation.
“Hello?”
“Maddie?” It was Debbie, the babysitter. “I’m so sorry! I thought I texted you, but now I realize it didn’t go through. I had an emergency to take care of at home and had to leave. It was only about five minutes before you were supposed to be back, and I tried to wait as long as possible, but I thought it would be fine to leave just a little early to take care of it…but I just realized…I had peanut butter and jelly while I was over there, and…I probably left the peanut butter out! I’m so sorry, Maddie, but could you….”
I didn’t hear anything else she said. Her last words washed through me, and I didn’t even recall moving, but I was suddenly against Cage crying my eyes out once more. Only, it was in relief. I was still mad at myself for having trusted Debbie, who apparently thought it was completely okay to leave a three-year-old home by herself, even if it’s just for five minutes. I wanted to kick the ass of every single person who had given me a good reference for her. But at least, for what it’s worth, I didn’t leave the peanut butter out.
It wasn’t me.
11
Cage
The first time I met Maddie Flynn, she’d been leaning against one of the pillars of the Radisson hotel in Upper Manhattan. I’d almost walked right past her. I was already late for my meeting with Ben. He claimed he had important news to share, and I didn’t have time to play good Samaritan. But something about the way her hair shone drew me to her.
“Do you need an ambulance?” I asked then. She’d looked up at me, and I was struck.
It wasn’t her beauty that drew me. As arrogant as it sounds, I was well accustomed to beautiful women. A few of my past lovers were supermodels—one a former Miss Universe. My mother had also been a beautiful woman. On the other hand, Maddie was cute—technically, she would lose the pageant to any of those women.
But there was something different about Maddie’s allure. She had these wideset eyes, too-wide lips, and a button nose. Nothing about her face should have worked. In fact, her features were quite discordant. But they came together to exude a unique charm that was difficult to explain or resist. It was why I’d found myself walking to her even though she was virtually a stranger.
“Man,” she said cheerily when I got close. “Has anyone ever told you that you kinda look like Superman? Except instead of saving the world, you decided to join an underground boxing ring.”
Well, I’d been told that I looked quite “brutish” before, but I’d never heard anyone put it quite like that.
“And those shoulders…” she continued. “I could get off to your shoulder alone.”
And there I was, being objectified by a stranger I was attempting to help.
So, why the hell am I enjoying it?
“Do you need any help?” I asked again. I needed to go in to meet my brother, but a part of me also wanted to stay with her for a little longer.
“Naah, I’m good. Just have a bad stomach ache. Must have been something I ate. Or didn’t eat.” She looked lost in thought. “Actually, that’s probably it. I don’t think I’ve eaten anything in the last 24 hours. And the day before that, I think I had a salad…or was it a lobster bisque?” She shook her head. “Anyway, whatever it is, it’s probably hunger pa—"
Her sentence was cut off in a moan as she bowled over in pain. Unconsciously, I moved forward, catching her mid-fall and bracing her body against mine. The pain had apparently subsided within seconds because she’d beamed up at me, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“You are superman,” she said. “Well, Clark Kent, what are you doing here with me? Shouldn’t you be out saving the world or something? Or with Lois Lane?”
She frowned. “You know, I’ve always wondered why you like Lois so much. You know she only loved you when she found out you were superman. She didn’t give two shits about Clark the man, only Clark the superhero. You should dump her; she doesn’t deserve you.”
If her babbling hadn’t convinced me of her drunken state, the smell would have. She stunk of alcohol, a smell that I’d always loathed. The smell alone should have been enough to trample on any desire I had. Or the fact that she absolutely had no qualms with flirting with a man she just met. But it didn’t.
So when Ben later introduced her as his girlfriend, I’d been mad. I had thought she was a horrible match and even dangerous for my brother. Ben had always had a problem with partying way too hard. Still, it wasn’t until he met Maddie that he truly went off the deep end, starting to experiment with hard drugs and staying high every s
ingle waking hour of the day.
The ragers they used to throw were legendary. At least that’s what I heard. The only time I had ever been to one was to end it. That certainly validated my anger.
But I didn’t want to admit to myself that some of my anger was really misdirected jealousy. Because even though I’d knew the type of woman Maddie was, I still couldn’t stop myself from wanting her for myself.
And as she sobbed in my arm, I felt it again. Every single possessive bone in my body fired off, telling me that the tiny woman cradled in my arms was mine. I needed to protect her and the little girl laying in the hospital bed, who was as much mine as her mother was.
I said nothing, letting her release all her emotions on me.
“It wasn’t my fault, Cage.” She sobbed, blinking up tearily at me. “Debbie just called and said that she left the peanut butter, not me. Don’t you see? It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t mess up.”
“Yeah, I got that,” I said.
She sniffled, then seemed to realize that her phone was still on call and brought it to her ear again. “Debbie? Are you there?”
Debbie must have said something then because Maddie sighed.
“Yeah, she ate some. A lot, actually. She ended up having a severe allergic reaction, and we’re now at the hospital.”
I heard a faint chatter on the other side of the phone.
“Yeah, she’s stable now. You should have called. I don’t give a damn what kind of emergency you had. You don’t just leave a 3-year-old at home alone, even just for five minutes. Are you kidding me? I trusted you, and Ela could have died. That’s a criminal level of negligence!” She pinched her nose bridge and sighed. “But I get that mistakes happen, and I know you feel horrible about it.” She paused for a few beats. “No, you don’t have to come to the hospital. Cage and I are already here with her.” Pause. “He’s her uncle. Look, just deal with your stuff, and I’ll call you when I get back, ok? And then we’ll talk.”
She hung up and sniffled again. Her nose was red; her eyes were splotchy and tired-looking. But she looked absolutely beautiful to me.
Get a hold of yourself, Burke.
“The babysitter?” I asked, and she nodded.
“Yeah. Debbie. She felt really bad about the whole thing.”
I bet she did. But considering the woman’s carelessness had almost killed my niece, I wasn’t too sympathetic. “Where did you find her anyway?”
“She lives a few blocks down from me. There was another lady, an older one called Gertrude, who I’ve known since Ela was born. She helped me watch her a lot when I had to go to school or training, and she’s currently Ela’s godmother. But after a while, she moved to the retirement community, so I needed someone else. She recommended Debbie, her niece. She seemed very capable when I met her; she had babysat multiple times before. Her references were excellent. I called every single one of them, and they told me she was very attentive to children and very good at handling high-strung ones like Ela. I never thought she would do something like this.”
“I don’t care how excellent her references are. Her gross negligence almost led to my niece’s death.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “I thought you said mistakes happen?”
“Yeah, that was when I saw how broken up about it you were.” I could only curb my emotions because I didn’t want Maddie to feel even worse than she already did. But since I knew it wasn’t Maddie, I felt free to let my anger show. I rubbed my hands over my face, surprised to find that they were still shaking. They had probably been shaking since I got the news. It was the adrenaline. I was the same way before I went into the battlefield.
Except I couldn’t remember ever feeling as terrified as the moment I stormed into the house to see Maddie holding Ela’s unmoving body. It was like a manic void that wanted to swallow me up, but I didn’t let it. The only way I could see Ela as a patient was to shut off all my emotions. It was the only way to save her.
But it had nearly destroyed me to do so.
Cue the shaking.
“Jesus, Maddie, she could have killed Ela.” My voice shook too as I spoke. I felt Maddie’s hand on mine, and I looked at her.
“But she didn’t because you were there.” She gave me a gentle smile. “I guess you really are superman.”
I felt a twinge in my chest. Her emerald eyes gleamed, even in the dull fluorescence of the cafeteria. We stared at each other. Silence weighed down with only breaths as the low hum of the voices in the cafeteria surrounded us.
“There you are.” The silence was broken by a nurse who swung into the cafeteria. Maddie and I stood in tandem as she walked up to us.
“Your daughter’s awake,” she said with a smile.
“Really?” The relief on Maddie’s face was palpable. She turned to me with a smile that could have lit up the sun. “Can I see her?”
“Yes, she has been asking for you and somebody called Cage.”
“That would be me,” I said.
The nurse’s eyes swung to me with a flicker of confusion. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were the dad.”
Maddie froze, her face paling. She looked up at me in fear. Her reaction confused me. Was she afraid that people at our hospital would think I was Ela’s dad?
“No, I’m not the dad,” I replied. “Just…a friend of the family.”
“Take me to my daughter, please.” Maddie’s voice was urgent.
The nurse nodded. We followed her at a rapid pace down the walkway, and when we reached Ela’s room, she was blinked up sleepily at us.
“Mommy?” her voice sounded weak.
“I’m here, baby.” Maddie immediately rushed to her side. “How are you feeling?”
“Not great.” She rubbed at her eyes. “I think I ate too much peanut butter, and it made me sick.”
“Yes sweetie, it did. Oh Ela, why did you do that? You know you can only have a little at a time, or you’d hurt yourself.”
“I’m sorry, mommy. I was just so hungry, and I didn’t know when Debbie was coming back or when you would get home. And the peanut butter was on the counter. I thought I should just have a little bit since I ate all my vegetables today, but then I took another spoon and another spoon, and then after a while, I couldn’t breathe.”
“Oh honey.” Maddie hugged her tenderly. “Mommy is sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve been working so much, okay? Mommy just wanted you to have a really great princess party. ”
“Yeah, but I don’t want the princess thing that much, mommy. I just want you to be home.”
“ Oh honey…”
“Is Cage here?” Ela asked, turning her head.
I moved forward.
She smiled when she saw me and gave me a weak wave. “Hi Cage.”
“Hi, Ela.” I was embarrassed to find that my throat was a little choked up too. I cleared it before I spoke again. “How are you doing?”
“I ate all my vegetables today, did you see? My plate was empty,” she said.
“I heard.” I couldn’t believe I almost lost her. “I’m very proud of you.”
Ela turned back to her mother. “I’m sleepy, mommy.”
“She needs rest,” the nurse said, “We’ll keep her under observation overnight, and you guys can come get her in the morning.”
“Can I stay with her?“ Maddie asked, and before the nurse could answer, I came forward and shook my head.
“Come on.” I laid my hand on Maddie’s shoulder, and she looked back at me.
Ela was stable while Maddie looked exhausted. She wouldn’t be any good to her if she stayed.
“Let’s go.” I wasn’t taking no for an answer. She was going home with me.
12
Cage
The temperature in the car was a little humid, but I turned down the AC anyway when I saw Maddie shiver.
The city whizzed past as I sped down the streets. Flashing lights coalesced into a blur, and besides the low hum of my Ferrari, it was absolutely silent. I’d called Rob to have it brough
t to the hospital. I was too wound up, and I needed to ride something to calm down.
Ride her.
I tamped down the thought mercilessly.
I could smell her right next to me. She was quiet, clearly still vulnerable. Yet, for some reason, I was so turned on that I couldn’t stand it. I’m a bastard. It was probably the adrenaline, the heightened emotions from our conversation, the memory of her in my arms, and her soft, familiar scent. Even exhausted and still in scrubs, she looked so beautiful. Her glow had returned ever since Ela woke up, and she seemed more alive.
I’m not going to touch her, I told myself. Especially not being as wired as I was.
I might hurt her.
I knew not everyone liked my brand of sex. If I were to put a title on it, I would say I was quite dominant. Or a “tyrant asshole,” as one ex had put it, although she hadn’t complained about it at the time. I loved to be in control of my partner’s pleasure, loved making them writhe and scream as they finally lost themselves in the ecstasy. But I was feeling too tense to be gentle, and Maddie did not need that. But even the thought of it made something inside me stir, and I felt my cock harden beneath my slacks. It was insane. I haven’t felt this out of control since…well, since that mystery woman.
The woman I couldn’t remember.
It had been after a rare night of drinking with my army buddy, Jeff. I usually didn’t get shitfaced as a persona rule because I hated the out-of-control feeling it gave me. You never know when you might get called in for an emergency, and I never wanted to be unreachable to my patients. But that had been a spectacularly bad night. My father had just passed from a heart attack. To top it all, I’d gotten a nearly incoherent call from Ben while he had been absolutely blitzed telling me Maddie was apparently missing. I was just so tired of it all that when Jeff had broken out the hard liquor, I’d thought, “fuck it.” And then proceeded to get as drunk as humanly possible.
