Two Years After ; Friends Who Lie ; No More Secrets

by Paul J. Teague

  Emma took the laptop, fired it up and locked onto the free wireless from the bar opposite.

  ‘You sure you don’t want a drink?’ she asked. ‘For old time’s sake? It seems rude to steal their broadband without buying anything.’

  ‘No, I’m good,’ Katy replied. ‘They have some sort of lounge on the train. I’ll have a drink there while we’re travelling. I haven’t a clue how much sleep I’ll get on that thing.’

  ‘You are a dope,’ Emma cursed as her fingers ran across the keyboard. ‘You’ve got this lovely bit of tech and you haven’t got a fucking clue how to manage your privacy settings. Everything you do is public. I told you about this. How are you going to keep Louis out of your hair if you can’t get this stuff right?’

  For a moment Katy was pissed off with Emma for having a go at her, but reluctantly realised that she was right.

  ‘Look, I’m changing your settings to friends of friends and your posts to friends only. That way only people you want to be in contact with you can get in touch. Fuck! Your profile is on public too. Right, that’s getting changed. I’ll change your old posts, make sure weirdos can’t contact you from your phone and email and you’re good to go.’

  ‘I haven’t got a clue what any of that means, but thank you. I will still have some friends, won’t I?’

  ‘Yes, but only the ones you want, none of the creeps. Present company excepted, of course.’

  Katy was going to miss Emma. They’d been friends for years, even more so since Emma had got a teaching job in London and they’d managed to meet up regularly. It was a familiar friendship, a shared past. Relationships like that mature on the vine, they don’t appear overnight. Strangely, they’d got to know each other better in the years after university.

  What was she thinking of? She’d never been backpacking before. In her student days you went Inter-Railing, if you did anything at all. She’d never been alone in the wilderness and she hated being on her own, but in her more soulful times, she’d realised that it was the time spent in her own company that she needed. She’d used life’s distractions to hide from her problems. So it was scary as anything, but something she had to do. And it had to begin with going back to where it started, the place where everything had gone wrong: Scotland, Spean Bridge, the one destination she’d avoided since Elijah died.

  Katy figured that if she could put those ghosts to bed at the start of her journey, it would be the ideal kick-start to changing her life. If things went well, she might never have to come back home.

  ‘I’ll have to be going soon,’ she said, looking at the departures board. ‘These sleeper trains board early, I think.’

  ‘Never done one,’ Emma replied. ‘Not until I join you next week, unless I chicken out and fly up to Inverness. Oh, Nathan and Sarah contacted me. They can meet us for lunch on the Monday. They’re catching the train from Aberdeen. Nathan wanted to avoid Sunday because the trains are always crap. He’s travelling away for work this week. He’s a handy guy to be back in touch with. He fixed my tech really well, spent a few minutes messing around via some app and it was all good as new. You should let him take a look at yours. Anyway, I said yes to meeting on Monday. Is that okay?’

  ‘Yes, of course. It’ll be good to see them. I haven’t had any meaningful exchange with them for … well, for ages.’

  ‘Cool. No mentioning kids, by the way. It’s a touchy subject. Sarah didn’t sound very happy when I spoke to her. I think things are a bit tense.’

  ‘I always thought it was weird how those two got together so quickly after Eli— You know, after that summer. I know Sarah always fancied Nathan, but his mind was elsewhere. There’s something odd about them, about Nathan in particular.’

  ‘That sounds like one of Sarah’s old conspiracy theories. It’s hilarious how much of a Tory she became after her radical student years. Still, I suppose we’ve all changed. My tits are definitely beginning to droop. I’m thinking of marking it on my stomach like you measure kids’ heights against door frames. I’m sure I’m not imagining it.’

  ‘We can have a race to see whose tits hit their waistline first. A fiver says it’s me by the time I’m fifty.’

  ‘Hey, I know what I meant to tell you. I found some photos of Scotland when I was sorting through Dad’s stuff. I brought them with me to see if they’ll help us work out where we stayed. It’s funny to think that we didn’t have internet back then.’

  ‘Ooh great, let’s have a quick look at the pics. I haven’t a clue where it was. I looked on Google Maps, but that Little Chef has gone since we were there. I remember it was nearby, and we were up some farm track – there’s no way that’ll be on Google. You’d need a bloody satellite to find that place.’

  ‘Izzy should know. I’ll ask her when I get connected with her on Facebook.’ Katy handed over the photos. She hadn’t had time to rifle through them herself, they were tucked into a compartment in her bag.

  ‘Wow, these take me back. Look at your hair … look at my hair! Look at everybody’s hair! How did we ever think that was a good look?’

  Emma was choked up suddenly, her eyes reddening.

  ‘God, it still gets me. I’m sorry. Look, take these. I don’t want to spoil your send-off by getting more tearful than I feel already. Show them to me next week. I’ll be prepared by then – I hadn’t expected that to be so emotional. You’d better make a move.’

  Emma nodded towards the departures board. The train was boarding. At that time of the evening Euston was as quiet as it ever gets. It felt strange to be at a station so late. Katy replaced the Mac in her bag, fastened it and slung it over her shoulder. It was light enough. She’d done well, she could manage to carry that weight all day.

  ‘I’m going to miss you, Katy.’

  ‘You’ll see me next week, you silly old moo.’

  ‘No, not that. I’m going to miss you being here in London – after next week. I love you, you know.’

  ‘I know, I love you too. I’ll be back, and you can come and join me anytime. Just hop on a plane. We’ll meet up at half-terms and holidays, you’ll barely know I’m gone.’

  ‘Fuck!’

  Emma stopped dead. The train was ahead of them, people were boarding and it didn’t look too busy.

  ‘What? What is it?’ Katy surveyed the area.

  ‘Duck into the side a moment and I’ll tell you.’

  Emma moved Katy in front of the train where they could no longer be seen along the platform.

  ‘I told you to sort out your bloody Facebook settings, and now look what’s happened.’

  ‘What?’

  Katy was oblivious to the source of this sudden tension.

  ‘It’s Louis, for Christ’s sake. He’s waiting halfway along the platform. He’s looking for you.’

  Chapter Seven

  Spean Bridge, July 1999

  They probably should have called it quits when they realised how remote the lodge was, but youthful enthusiasm and a simmering cauldron of teenage emotions made them press on. By the time they arrived, they were tired, hot, hungry and stiff. Five hours cramped in a small car weaving left and right, up and down, on the roads along Glencoe had been like the world’s worst big dipper and both Sarah and Emma had had to step outside to throw up. It had sounded like fun when they were planning it back at uni.

  If only they could have fast-forwarded a decade or so to the invention of sat nav. Elijah’s out-of-date AA road map had got them to the rough vicinity of the holiday lodge, but even the locals didn’t know where it was. They’d stopped off at the Little Chef in Spean Bridge for food and a toilet break, but they were a good hour driving along farm tracks looking for the lodge.

  ‘Thank God for that. We’re here!’ Katy exclaimed.

  As Elijah’s girlfriend, she’d got the passenger seat, while Nathan, Sarah and Emma were crammed in the back. Izzy was joining them on her moped the next day. Katy could feel the festering resentment and thought her comment might convey a bit of empathy, but it wasn’t sh
e who’d had to throw up because it was so damn uncomfortable in the back. Sarah had got stuck with the lingering smell of vomit for the past couple of hours, and Katy had lost her goodwill when she put the air blowers on full at the front of the car.

  It was a good job that the lodge looked like it did in the brochure. It was built entirely of wood. Wood walls, wood floors, wooden furniture – even a wooden roof.

  As the friends stepped out of the car and stretched their legs, the mood began to lighten.

  ‘The key is where they said it would be,’ Sarah announced, lifting the round stone to the side of the front door. She opened up the lodge, walking straight into the kitchen–living area. There was a box on the kitchen worktop packed with provisions from the local shop: cereal, tea bags, bread, beans. There was milk, margarine, wine and beer in the fridge.

  ‘I know the journey was terrible, but you can’t complain about the service. They said they’d arrange a delivery from the nearest shop and they have. Everything is in here, so at least we don’t need to go out again tonight,’ said Elijah.

  Even at that age, Katy observed how he always the glue in that group. Elijah had the ability to bring them all back together. Nobody had thought to thank him for doing all the driving, they’d been too busy bitching about their own discomfort. But Elijah just got on with it.

  Katy was looking forward to this break. She and Elijah had had to endure a week at his parents’ house, after moving on from Terry and Sue’s place to pick up one of his dad’s cars for the road trip. They’d been in separate bedrooms out of concern for his younger sister’s moral wellbeing. They’d only just entered the paradise of a stable and exciting sex life when the tap was suddenly turned off. And his parents wondered why Katy had a face like a wet blanket all week.

  In a sneak preview of what was to come when they moved out of university accommodation into their student digs, the disputes over bedrooms began straightaway. It had always been accepted, by Elijah and Katy at least, that they would get the double bed. After all, they were the official couple and Elijah had subsidised the trip, even though the others weren’t aware of it. Worse still, they were a bedroom short. What had been classed in the brochure as a bedroom, was really a small office space with a Z-bed folded up in the corner.

  Nathan cracked open the beers and a passive-aggressive version of the Lord of the Flies began, with each of the friends willing to eat the others to get a decent place to sleep. It was a bloody negotiation and became more so as the booze began to flow. It metamorphosed suddenly when Nathan proposed a game of strip poker to determine a victor. They were tiring of the row by that stage and the suggestion of a boozy game of poker came at exactly the right time.

  By midnight, Elijah and Katy were fast asleep in one of the single rooms, with not an aching ball in sight. Emma was tucked up in the double bed, wearing only her knickers. That was the sign of her victory over Nathan who’d left the room naked. Sarah had hung around, her modesty carelessly covered by a large cushion from the settee. The way she saw it, Nathan had lost because she kept dropping the cushion to reveal a glimpse of nipple. She’d get him into the sack if it was the last thing she did. As for Katy and Elijah, they’d been first out of the game. That was by mutual agreement. Katy wanted to get into Elijah’s pants as soon as humanly possible, and the poker game obliged by meaning they both had their kit off already by the time they headed for bed.

  Tempers were much sweeter in the morning when Izzy arrived. Used to negotiating Scotland’s rural charms, she’d experienced none of the difficulties of the previous day in locating the lodge. She seemed relieved to be among her friends again, away from the oppressive austerity of home, and that meant she was happy to share the double bed with Emma, given that they seemed to be a room down.

  Isobel’s arrival was what they all they needed to move on from the squabbles and bitching about the room allocation. Before long, Elijah had been out to the local shop, returning with frozen pizzas, beer and wine. They were all sitting in the living area as if they were back at university. It was like old times before the end of year exams when they hadn’t a care in the world. Life was good. They had their digs sorted out for the next academic year and were busy planning the holiday, talking about what they’d do when they were up in Scotland.

  Sarah had resolved to finally bed Nathan, who seemed to have some prudish resistance to her. Well, she’d soon fix that. The poker game had been only the beginning, and if he’d been excited by a flash of nipple, wait until she got him behind closed doors. She might seem obsessed with politics, but she had physical needs like everybody else and Nathan seemed the guy to oblige. She couldn’t wait. With any luck the smile on her face would soon be as broad as Katy’s. As for Emma and Izzy, they seemed happy to be there among good friends and away from their parents.

  In the unlikely event that anybody passed by the lodge, they would have heard laughter, joking and tomfoolery. They might have smiled to themselves, chuckling at the sound of friends having a great time and putting their money into the local economy.

  But if that’s what they thought, they’d have been deceived by those sounds, because inside that lodge a toxic cocktail of frustration and jealously was beginning to build up. When it finally exploded, a young life would be lost.

  Chapter Eight

  Caledonian Sleeper, 2017

  ‘How did he know I would be here?’

  ‘I told you, it’s your Facebook settings.’

  ‘But I unfriended him, like you said.’

  ‘Did you block him? And it doesn’t matter anyway, your settings were all on public so he could see what you were up to without friending you. The entire world could see. I’m surprised there aren’t more people here to wave you off.’

  Katy felt stupid. Emma had been ranting at her for ages to sort this stuff out. When she was telling her how to do it in the pub it had all made perfect sense, but the next day, when she sat at her computer with a hangover, she could never remember the details. And now here was Louis, arsehole of the year.

  ‘What should we do? If he sees me, he’ll kick off.’

  ‘What did you post on Facebook?’ Emma asked, her face barely concealing the anxiety she was feeling. She’d thought she was seeing off a friend. With Louis on the platform, things were going to get difficult.

  ‘Look, Katy. I need to give you these,’ Emma said, reaching into her bag. ‘They arrived this morning – the postal redirection is obviously working.’

  ‘That was quick,’ Katy replied, scanning the envelopes and looking ahead to check on Louis’s whereabouts. She stuffed them into her pocket. There were more pressing matters to deal with.

  ‘Go into the first carriage and sit in the first seat that you find, on the opposite side of the platform. He won’t see you until the train starts to move and, with the reflections in the windows, he probably won’t spot you even then. I’ll stay out of the way, and if he looks like he’s getting too inquisitive I’ll distract him. He hasn’t seen us yet, so if we keep out of sight he’ll assume you’ve changed your plans.’

  ‘Love you, Ems,’ Katy said, moving forward and embracing her friend. ‘See you next week in Inverness. Don’t mess it up, make sure you’re there.’

  Emma held Katy tight. She admired her friend for what she was doing. She’d considered throwing in the towel with her own job and joining her on the trek, but she had to give a term’s notice as a teacher. It was like a prison sentence, aimed at trapping her in the career forever. She was too spineless to call their bluff and walk away from the job she hated, so she settled for the half-term visit to Inverness.

  ‘Go,’ she said. ‘I’ll keep an eye on Mr Angry over there. British Transport Police should be around somewhere. I’ll give them a shout if it all kicks off.’

  Katy picked up her rucksack and took a final look along the platform for Louis.

  ‘Shit, he’s gone.’

  ‘Get on the train. I’ll look for him. Check your phone – I’ll text you.’


  Katy stepped on the train and followed her friend’s advice, taking the first seat that was free on the opposite side of the platform. She moved over to sit by the window, placing her bag on the seat beside her. There was activity outside. It looked as if they were getting ready to leave.

  A young guy with a huge rucksack walked up the carriage from the farthest entrance, scanning the area for his seat. He seemed well-prepared to the business of heavy-duty walking, his bag looked worn-in and tightly-packed. For a moment Katy wondered if she’d bitten off more than she could chew.

  There were a couple of businessmen in the carriage, with a smattering of sharp-dressed women. Long days for all of them, no doubt, and now an even longer journey on the Caledonian sleeper. A retired couple were both reading novels. He had a Tom Clancy, hers was a Mills and Boon.

  Suddenly, she saw Emma’s face at the window. She’d been working along the carriage from the outside looking for Katy. She was gesticulating down the train. Katy didn’t need to interpret the hand signals, she could already hear the commotion in the next carriage. Louis had come on board and was checking the seats. The train staff had asked him if he was travelling and he was now holding up the departure of the train. As with most things related to Louis, it had suddenly got tense.

  ‘Keep your bloody hands off me. You touch me again and I’ll sue you for assault.’

  ‘Please calm down, sir. We need you to step off the train please. We have to depart on time.’

  ‘I need a few minutes to find my … wife … I have an important message for her that can’t wait.’

  He burst into Katy’s carriage. The tension was immediate as the occupants braced themselves for conflict. Would they have to intervene or not? Could they keep their heads down and let it all work itself out?