Two Years After ; Friends Who Lie ; No More Secrets

by Paul J. Teague

  ‘Sure. Sounds interesting. What is it?’

  Katy took the Polaroid out of her wallet. She showed it to Paige and said nothing. Paige examined it, trying to work out what she was looking at.

  ‘It’s a photo of a bunch of kids,’ she began. ‘Has to be Scotland with that hill in the background. Is that right?’

  Katy nodded.

  ‘What do you see?’

  Paige looked hard.

  ‘Oh, that’s you! Nice bloke, was he your boyfriend?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You look like you’re in love. And this girl looks head over heels too.’

  ‘Who?’ Katy asked, intrigued.

  ‘Look, their hands are touching. Are they a couple?’

  ‘That’s Emma and Izzy,’ Katy replied. ‘So, I’m not imagining the hands then?’

  ‘Difficult to tell,’ Paige said, ‘but yes, I’d say so.’

  Katy had never seen it back then – it was only when she looked at that picture again after so many years. That expression on Izzy’s face. She seemed to be besotted with Emma, while Emma looked as if she was more interested in whoever was taking the photo.

  Her mobile phone sounded again: two texts, one from Emma and another from an unknown number. She read the text from Emma first.

  Have passed on your number. His name is Roger Parry if you’ve forgotten. Says he’ll be in touch. Ems x

  Paige was still studying the photo, so Katy checked out the second text.

  Hello Katy, thanks for letting me contact you. You may remember me from university, I was Eli’s personal tutor. I saw on Facebook that you’re in my neck of the woods. Would it be possible to meet up? Elijah shared a confidence with me many years ago and I kept it to myself. As I’ve got older, it feels like something that I should have shared with you after he died. Very keen to see you in person. Sorry, this must be a bit of a shock. I should have told you a long time ago. Hoping that you’re well. Regards, Roger Parry.

  Katy was stunned. The echoes of the past were roaring in her ears. For years they’d been whispers, but now their cry was persistent and demanding.

  ‘Everything okay?’ Paige asked.

  ‘I’ve just heard from somebody I haven’t even thought about for years. They’re reconnecting because I’m in Scotland. It has to do with Elijah, the boy in that picture. It’s so weird that he should contact me now.’

  ‘That’s social media for you,’ Paige said, placing the photo on the table. ‘I once discovered that I was on the same train as an old school friend because we both tweeted to moan about the delay to our journey at the same time. I messaged her: That’s not you, is it? It was! We met up in her carriage and caught up on old times. Such an amazing coincidence.’

  ‘If he’s driving over from Dundee towards Spean Bridge, where’s the best place to meet? It needs to be somewhere public.’

  ‘Depends if you want scenery. There’s parking at the Commando Memorial and it’s on his route. Or if it’s raining, there’s always one of the bars in the village.’

  ‘I remember that monument. It’s not far from where we were staying. I’ll meet him there – kill two birds with one stone. He might give me a lift into the village if I’m lucky. Okay if I text?’

  Paige nodded and studied the photo again. Katy did a quick calculation about walking times and messaged Roger Parry. The guidebook said it was a maximum five-hour walk from Fort William, and he’d have a three-hour drive from Dundee. She’d suggest two o’clock, but tell him to give her a window of half an hour in case she was held up. At least she wasn’t hungover. She’d be on her way by nine o’clock prompt the next day.

  The timing couldn’t have been better. Whatever it was that Roger Parry had to say, she wanted to hear it. And she sure as anything was going to ask Emma about that photo. Secretive cow. Had she and Izzy had a thing going on that summer? Even after all those years, new questions were coming up.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Katy was proud of herself for getting up, breakfasted and out of Paige’s house before nine o’clock. Truth be told, her mind had been active all night, turning over the events of the past few days. She’d been thinking about her dad too and wishing he was still around. She’d always felt safe with him there, and everything had been much simpler. Life seemed to be slipping away from her. She’d be middle-aged before she knew it.

  Paige gave her a huge hug when she left, and Katy reciprocated. The two women had formed a strong bond in the short time they’d known each other.

  ‘Remember, if you have any trouble give me a call. I’ll be only too happy to come and help you out. I’ve loved having you here.’

  Although Katy was walking the Great Glen Way, she had no intention of sticking slavishly to it. She figured that she’d dip in and out as she pleased, and might even cheat and get the bus if it suited her. So long as she was in Inverness for the meet-up at the weekend, it didn’t really matter. She also wanted to be as sure as she could that she wouldn’t run into Olly again. He’d seemed earnest enough in the pub, but somebody must have sent those flowers.

  For her first day of walking, Katy decided to stick to the official route. The timings were good. She’d skip Gairlochy, spend as long as she needed in Spean Bridge, and then make up any delay by bus, or even by hitching. It felt good to be weaving through the town centre and into the outskirts of Fort William, tracking the route of the canal along properly constructed paths, which gradually became rural tracks.

  There was something about the landscape that connected with her. She loved it all. The air was so clean and fresh after all those years in London. As she walked along the pathway, occasionally passing a fellow traveller, for the first time in many months she felt strong. She was capable of being on her own. She didn’t need anybody, and definitely not another idiot like Louis.

  The websites she’d looked at had varied in their estimate of how long it would take her to get to Gairlochy, and after that there would be another hour’s walk to the Commando Memorial, but she was pleased with the time she made. There were no blisters, no sprained ankles and only one visit to squat behind a bush for a pee. She’d have to get used to that. If some poor rambler was unfortunate enough to be scanning the landscape with binoculars at the time, they’d be treated to a flash of her arse.

  She thought about the letter. Who lived in Leytonstone? Who even had relatives in that area? And why the message now? Katy had no answers. She’d have to hope that whoever it was made themselves known to her. If they had some axe to grind, they wouldn’t stay hidden for long.

  At Gairlochy, Katy rejoined the road, walking towards Spean Bridge. She looked at her phone. She was making good time. Roger Parry had agreed to the meeting and told her not to rush, he’d wait if she was late. He’d offered to pick her up if she needed it, but Katy thought it best to stick to a landmark. She didn’t know what the mobile phone signal would be like en route.

  She hadn’t been able to locate the place they’d stayed in that summer. She remembered the village, the Little Chef and the monument. They’d passed the monument to get to the wooden lodge, and she’d have to hope her memory would fill in the blanks. She had a couple of printouts of places that it might be. She’d ask in the village if she couldn’t find it.

  Just after one o’clock, her phone rang. It frightened the life out of her – she thought she was in a dead zone. It was Emma.

  ‘Hi, I’ve got a free period. I thought I’d call.’

  ‘Hi Ems, it’s a really shitty signal out here, so don’t be surprised if I disappear. I wish you could be here with me. Talk about a lot of memories!’

  ‘I’ll see you at the weekend. I’m looking forward to going up there again.’

  ‘Hey, Ems, I’ve been having a good look at those old photos and it’s got me thinking. You and Izzy … I never noticed. You’re not … you’re not gay, are you?’

  ‘No, of course I’m not! You should know that of all people.’

  ‘So what was going on with Izzy? I remembe
r that big row you had. Did you have a lovers’ tiff?’

  It felt good to hear Emma’s voice.

  ‘No, nothing like that, not from my point of view anyway. You know what it was like when we were young. Elijah was the first bloke you ever slept with, you told me as much. I was going through an experimental phase at the time …’

  The call was breaking up. Katy moved to the side, trying to find the position that she’d been in originally.

  ‘Say that again. The phone signal is crap.’

  ‘I said that it was only a fling for me, a bit of fun. There was a teacher at secondary school who’d got me into Spare Rib magazine. It was feminism and all that. I wanted to give it a try. It was a phase, nothing serious. I’ve never done anything like it since. Well once. That threesome I told you about, remember? But it’s not really my thing.’

  ‘What about Izzy? I’d never noticed how she’s looking at you in this picture – too young and stupid to see it, I suppose.’

  ‘Well, you must know Izzy’s gay. Didn’t you ever figure that one out?’

  ‘Really?’ Katy asked, genuinely taken by surprise.

  ‘Yes, but she would never have admitted it back then. She’s more open about it now. Bloody religious upbringing and all that. Don’t you remember how repressed she used to be? She hated herself for it. She thought she was unnatural in some way. It was just a bit of fun—’

  The phone signal broke up and Katy only caught the beginning of the sentence. She’d fill in the gaps herself. She needed to cut this call short – she didn’t want to miss Roger Parry.

  ‘What was that row about? The moped incident, where you had to come home in the car with us, and Izzy sat there scowling all night.’

  ‘I’d broken it off with her. Remember we were sharing that bedroom? It had been an occasional thing at uni, but Izzy started getting all heavy about it when we were staying in the lodge. While we were waiting for you lot to arrive at Eilean Donan, I told her that after the holiday I wanted to finish it. I preferred guys. I wasn’t nasty or anything, but it wasn’t what I wanted any more. I said we could carry it on until the holiday finished.’

  ‘Why didn’t I know any of this? How could I have missed it?’ Katy asked.

  ‘You were besotted with Elijah. It was Elijah-this, Elijah-that, and you didn’t give a shit about anybody else. You and I didn’t become close until after his death. You’re looking at it through adult eyes. It was different back then, we were so young, and anyhow, Izzy made me swear that I’d keep it a secret.’

  ‘What did she say?’ Katy asked. ‘What did Izzy say when you told her it was over? She had a face like thunder when we got to the castle. I can still remember it now.’

  ‘She was really pissed with me. She’d thought it was for real. She made me swear I wouldn’t tell anybody, and I suppose I was a bit embarrassed about it myself. After Elijah died, well, it didn’t seem important anymore.’

  ‘How could Izzy have kept that from us for so long? I knew her mum was a strict old cow, but I didn’t realise she was gay. I assumed she wasn’t interested. Jesus, I was so self-absorbed.’

  ‘She hated me for it,’ Emma picked up, as the mobile phones continued their struggle to stay connected. ‘She was so angry. It seemed funny when she stormed off on that moped of hers, but it hurt her badly. I was too young and stupid to see it at the time. We were in the middle of the row when you lot arrived in the car. I’ll always remember what she said to me that day, the day of the fire. As she went roaring off into the distance on that bloody machine of hers, she almost spat the words into my face.

  ‘She said to me, I hope you and the rest of them burn in hell!’

  Chapter Seventeen

  Katy was so preoccupied with what Emma had told her that she barely registered the scenery as she neared the monument. She’d cut the call short, worried that she might get distracted and miss her appointment.

  She couldn’t really remember Roger Parry. She hadn’t had anything to do with him directly, but he was Elijah’s personal tutor and they’d bump into him every now and then on campus. He seemed a bit pompous and full of his own self-importance, but that was only Katy’s perception based upon a few casual encounters. Elijah seemed to get on well enough with him and as their relationship developed over that first academic year she began to understand how much of a sounding board Parry had been for her boyfriend.

  She learned that Elijah had struggled to adjust to university life. Katy didn’t know him then – they’d met towards the end of their first term. He had been bullied and had moved into a different hall of residence. He never told Katy the precise details because he was ashamed of admitting to being bullied as an adult, but it was always something that had lurked in the background. Katy didn’t push it. The incident was over, the moron who was responsible had been asked to leave the university due to a breach of his behaviour contract and that was that. Elijah moved into their accommodation block, and Katy met him in the laundry room one evening over a bag filled with dirty washing. He was having an asthma attack and she’d helped him through it by retrieving his inhaler from his room. And that was that, they hit it off immediately.

  But Katy knew that Roger had been a trusted confidant for Elijah, and he had helped him to navigate a difficult time in his life.

  As the monument appeared in the distance, Katy tried to dismiss thoughts of the past and focus on the target ahead, but the stirring sight of the three commando figures looking across the stunning open landscape brought the summer of 1999 back with great clarity.

  She was surprised at how quiet it was for the time of year. Every now and then a car would draw up, a couple would leap out, walk around the statue and take a selfie or two. They’d head over to the garden of remembrance, look around awkwardly as if they felt guilty about leaving such an important spot so soon, then drive off. There was no sign of Roger Parry, so Katy perched on the steps in front of the monument and checked her phone. No messages. And a weak signal.

  It wasn’t quite two o'clock. She was early and she was tired too. Maybe she’d been optimistic to think that she could complete the entire Great Glen Way from a standing start with no preparation. She had all the time in the world. She’d take a bus and skip a day’s walking if she needed to. There was nothing to prove to anybody and, besides, now she had arrived she was minded not to move on as quickly as she’d planned. There were a lot of memories in this place, and she wanted to walk among them a while longer.

  She’d booked into a B&B in the village for the night and was due in Laggan at the end of the next day. She decided there and then that she’d cancel Laggan, stay an extra night in Spean Bridge and take a bus to Fort Augustus. She felt a rush of exhilaration realising that this was her life now, she could make it up as she went along. After working in the city for so long, her life set by the comings and goings of the underground trains, it came as a blessed relief. It was an amazing feeling.

  A car pulled up in the car park. Surely Roger Parry would come up to the monument and see her, he wouldn’t just sit in his car? She thought back to how he’d looked in 1999. He had a good head of hair back then, and much of it was grey. It was difficult to age him. When you’re eighteen, everybody seems ancient to you. He must have been late thirties, early forties, she thought, so he’d be in his sixties now. He might be retired. With men it was difficult. If he’d lost his hair, he’d be almost impossible to pick out in a crowd.

  Katy looked hopefully at the red Fiat, but it wasn’t long before an elderly couple got out and released two enthusiastic Scotties from the boot. They began their circuit of the monument. She was beginning to get fidgety. It was well past two o’clock now and she’d expected him to have got there early. It was Parry who’d asked for the meeting, not her. Maybe he’d got caught in traffic.

  Katy needed to pee. In London you were never more than two minutes away from a Costa, Starbucks or McDonald’s. In Scotland, gorse bushes were quickly becoming her best friend. When Roger arrived she decided t
o suggest driving into the village. She could use the facilities in a pub or tearoom.

  Restless now, she stood up and scanned the area. The straps of her rucksack were rubbing her shoulders and she decided it would be safe to leave it on the steps. There were a couple of Japanese students taking pictures and the older couple were dawdling over from the memorial garden. It didn’t look like a high-crime area.

  As Katy walked over to the car park, she saw two cars that she’d missed, concealed from view by the banking. She stood at the top of the grassy area scanning them for signs of life. If Roger Parry was in one of them, he’d have to be blind to miss her.

  She checked her phone. Messages and texts tended to get through even if the phone signal was bad. Nothing. He was more than twenty minutes late. Katy had to pee. If he didn’t show up soon she’d have to find some cover further along the road. She dialled Roger’s number. It rang and rang. Somewhere in the distance she could hear another phone ringing. When she ended the call, the echoing ring ended.

  Katy scanned the roads which came to a fork beyond the Commando Monument. There were plenty of trees across the road and to the side. If things became critical, she could be relieving herself behind a bush within two minutes. The Japanese students climbed into their car and drove off, while the couple with the dogs looked at the statue and admired the scenery.

  Katy decided to phone again. As the dial tone sounded in her ear, once again there was an echo from the car park. She gazed at the cars. There was a sleek black vehicle parked in the corner. She hadn’t picked it out when she first surveyed the area, but it was out of place, too expensive to be seen somewhere like that. It had tinted windows which looked completely black from where she was standing.

  She looked at the other cars. They were all empty. A bus swung into the car park and she ducked out of the way to let it pass. It was full of tourists – she ought to retrieve her rucksack before they started their tour of the monument. As they filed out of the bus, Katy checked the three approach roads for a final time. Damn Roger Parry, bloody lecturers always worked to their own timetable.