The Gilded Mirror

by L. M. Somerton

  “I’m going to tell Gage to spank you. If my arthritis wasn’t playing up, I’d do it myself. You think perhaps that something soothing would be nice for Petey?”

  “Oh… Sorry.” Landry was ashamed of himself. “I really am, Mr. L. I’m just…I feel helpless and stressed and…” He took a few gulping breaths while Mr. Lao patted him on the back. “I shouldn’t be taking things out on you. I’ll bring you back a bear claw.” He went to grab his wallet, but Mr. Lao thrust two twenties at him.

  “Go! Get out of my hair for ten minutes, you’re scaring the customers.” Other than the two of them, there hadn’t been a single person in the store for the last half-hour. Landry’s skepticism must have shown. “Customers on the street can feel the negative vibes you’re emitting, and they walk right on by. You want to start earning commission or not?” Mr. Lao shooed him away. “Don’t forget my bear claw.”

  “You’re nearly as bossy as Gage, Mr. L.” Landry grabbed the bills. “Has he been giving you Landry-handling tips behind my back?”

  “I like your man, Landry. We have intelligent conversations about all kinds of interesting topics.”

  “Oh my God, he has! I’ve been betrayed.” Landry flounced from the store to the sound of Mr. Lao’s cackling laughter. There was a line in the café, and he got to the front just as his cell rang. The girl serving knew him, so he listened to Gage and mimed his order at the same time. “Then he’s okay? You’re sure?” He did his best impression of a grizzly and grinned as the assistant boxed two bear claws.

  “As sure as I am that you’re in the process of buying baked goods.”

  “How…?” Landry scanned the café. “How do you know what I’m doing, is there surveillance equipment in here?”

  “I’m a detective, not Secret Service. I can hear the coffee machine hissing steam. The one in the café has a particular sound and if you’re in there you won’t just be getting coffee. Get me a jelly donut.”

  “Detectives are annoying. Tell me about Petey.”

  “He has a bump on the head and a possible mild concussion. Whoever mugged him took the package he was delivering and his bike. He doesn’t remember anything after hearing scuffling—he was locking his bike before making a delivery to the business next to Scorch.”

  “So he was in the dumpster all night? Thank goodness it wasn’t too cold.” Landry had no idea how to mime a donut so did an impression of Gage instead. Jelly donuts were added to his order.

  “He was and he’s fortunate there was no garbage collection this morning or he could have ended up in the compactor.”

  Landry thrust money in the general direction of the counter then waved away the change. The assistant deserved it for her mime interpretation skills. He gathered his box of goodies and cardboard tray of drinks, blew a kiss at the server then weaved through the line to the door. “I wish you hadn’t told me that ’cause now I’m thinking about that scene in Star Wars where Luke and Han are about to get squished.”

  “I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’m bringing Petey to the store once I spring him from the hospital. We shouldn’t be too long.”

  “He doesn’t have insurance, do you need my credit card details? And seriously, you’ve never seen Star Wars? What is wrong with you?”

  “I’ve heard of it.” Gage sounded defensive. “And a nurse pal of Sancha’s checked Petey out, so don’t worry. Sancha pulled her boy out of the river one time so we have a free pass in the ER.”

  “Sancha is the best! On our next day off together, we are having a movie marathon. The whole Star Wars series, even the bad ones.”

  “Fine, as long as there is nudity and snacks.”

  Landry disconnected, shaking his head and laughing half with relief that Petey wasn’t too badly hurt and half at Gage’s priorities. He made his way back to Treasure Trove where Mr. Lao helped him with the drinks and food, and Landry caught him up on Gage’s call.

  When Gage arrived at the store thirty minutes later, Petey in tow, Landry had finished his triple-shot vanilla latte, a brownie and a cherry Danish. Mr. Lao had decanted the chamomile tea for Petey and black coffee for Gage into insulated mugs. He had also confiscated the rest of the pastries, much to Landry’s disgust.

  “Petey!” Landry dashed down the aisle. Petey ran toward him, and they met in the middle of the store like a couple from a fifties romance movie but with more squealing. “You’re okay, right? Gage told me you were but he’s protective so might not be telling me the whole truth.” Petey rested his head on Landry’s shoulder.

  “My head hurts, and I have some grazes from where I suppose they tossed me in the dumpster but I’m okay.”

  “They?”

  “Two of them that I saw. I didn’t have much time to gather witness information before I hit the asphalt. They need to make that stuff softer.”

  “They so do! Rubber asphalt should be a thing. I got you a chamomile tea, which was Mr. Lao’s idea, not mine, so don’t blame me, and I have treats. I didn’t eat them all—that’s how much I like you. But you’re wearing Lycra…ripped Lycra. That’s not a good look, Petey, your ass is hanging out of those shorts.”

  “Is not!”

  “Is so!”

  Petey twisted around, trying to get a look at his own rear.

  “It’s just a small tear,” Gage reassured him.

  Petey clapped both hands over his backside. “I’ve been walking around like this! I could have been arrested for public indecency.”

  Landry cackled. “You wear a lot less at Scorch and you were with cops already, remember?”

  “So supportive, Lan.” Petey sighed. “Can I have my tea?”

  Mr. Lao handed over the insulated mug. Petey took off the lid then inhaled the aromatic steam. “So nice…I love this stuff.”

  “You’re a good boy, Petey. You enjoy other teas?” Mr. Lao asked.

  “Sure do. I like peppermint and fruity ones and green tea… Coffee is gross.”

  “I have some special blends from the Chinese grocery store and I get imports from England.”

  “Wow, we should have a tasting evening Mr. Lao, I found this amazing apple tea from Turkey you’d love.”

  Landry cleared his throat. “If you could both finish your mutual teagasm, which by the way must qualify as a mental illness, I’ll take Petey up to the apartment to change. You can borrow some of my clothes, honey.” He handed Mr. Lao his bear claw and Gage his jelly donut from the box of treats, keeping a tight grip on the rest in case Mr. Lao tried to take them away from him again.

  “Petey needs someone with him for the next forty-eight hours so they can look out for problems that might come after a head injury,” Gage said. “If you notice any changes in his behavior, or if Petey has difficulty concentrating or understanding then we’ll have to take him back to the ER. No shenanigans up there you two.”

  “What can you possibly mean?” Landry grabbed Petey’s hand. “Let’s go before the mean detective stops us having any fun at all.” He towed his friend across the store to the door that led to the back hall and the stairway to the apartments above. Five minutes later, he had Petey installed on the couch, snuggled under a fleecy blanket, sipping his tea.

  “I thought you might like to decompress a while then maybe have a soak in the tub,” Landry said.

  “Stop hovering. I’ll be fine once I get some proper rest and get the smell of garbage off me. I can’t believe I spent the whole night in a dumpster, so unsanitary. What am I going to do, Landry? I’m not going to make a very good cycle courier without a bike. If I can’t work, I won’t be able to make rent then I’ll be homeless and I’ll have to sell my ass on street corners.”

  “Well, it is a very cute ass.”

  Petey glared. “I’m serious.” His lower lip trembled. “I’m scared.”

  “Honey, your job sucked. You share a dump of an apartment with three psychos. I think it’s time for a career change.”

  “And what do you suggest I do? I don’t have a brain, like you. I
scraped through high school. I don’t want to flip burgers, not because I think it’s beneath me, but because I can burn water.”

  Landry got under the blanket too. “How do you feel about retail?”

  “I don’t have any experience.” Petey sighed. “I suppose I could become a go-go boy.”

  “I don’t think we’re at that point yet. You’re great with people. You’re patient and friendly, everyone loves you because you have this whole innocent, boy next door vibe going on. Old ladies adore you. All the Doms at Scorch want to take care of you. You’ll be perfect for retail.”

  “But where? I can’t see me in some upscale fashion boutique, can you?”

  “Uh, no. Here.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I have a vacancy right here at Treasure Trove Antiques. Mr. Lao is going into semi-retirement, and he’s made me the manager. I get to recruit the new me, that is my assistant, which is what I was… Am I making any sense?”

  “About as much as you usually do. Are you offering me a job? Here, with you?”

  “Yes, and guess what? The job doesn’t pay great, but it comes with a free apartment—my old place upstairs.”

  Petey’s hands shook, and he was in danger of dumping the remains of his tea over Landry’s crotch. Landry eased the mug from his grip. “You’re white as a sheet, is your head hurting?”

  “Let me get this right. You’re offering me a job and a home, right here with you?”

  “Well, you don’t get to live here with me and Gage. You have my old apartment in the roof all to yourself. You’ve been up there so you know how cozy it is. I’ve only moved down here because, well, you’ve seen Gage, the man’s enormous, he needs more space.” Petey started to cry. “Oh my God, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to pressure you or anything. I can just interview more people… But I’d really, really love to be working with my best friend. How perfect would that be? You would be my apprentice.”

  “I don’t know anything about antiques.” Petey snuffled.

  “You think I did before I started working here? Mr. Lao says it takes a lifetime to learn the trade. He teaches me something new almost every day, but I’m still not allowed to buy stuff. He’s going to carry on doing that. You can clean stuff, you’ll be great with customers and you can run errands. If we find you a new bike, you can even deliver some of our older customers’ purchases.”

  “You mean it?” Petey chewed on a fingernail.

  “I wouldn’t tease you about something like this.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Yes would be a good place to start.”

  “Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” Petey threw himself into Landry’s arms for a hug. “I can’t believe such a shitty day has turned out so well after all.”

  “I love cuddling, Petey, but I’m afraid to say you stink. Let go of me, and I’ll go run you a bath. I think you’re going to have to simmer in the water for two, three hours, at least.”

  “Whatever you say, boss.”

  Landry extracted himself from beneath the blanket. “Do not call me that. If you do, I’ll think Mr. Lao is around and don’t call me sir, either, because that’s Gage, and he has a habit of sneaking up on me in the store because he thinks he’s going to catch me doing something I shouldn’t and have an excuse to punish me.”

  “If I’m living above you, am I going to need loud music to drown out your yelling when he spanks you?” Petey blinked.

  “How anyone who looks as innocent as you do can be as kinky as you are, I’ll never know. I recommend a good set of headphones.” Landry ignored Petey’s grin and headed for the bathroom. I really need to find Petey a Dom. The problem is going to be finding one that’s good enough for him.

  Chapter Three

  “Your couch is really comfy,” Petey said from his perch on a stool behind the cash desk in the store. “I slept so well, and my headache is nearly gone.”

  “It’s a couch that hugs and I’m glad your head is better. Hopefully you won’t have to sleep on it again, though, because I spoke to my friend Prisha—her dad owns the Eastern Emporium across the street—she has a cousin who has a wholesale bed business. She’s sorting a new mattress for the bed frame in your apartment. Gage and I took mine with us because it wasn’t that old. Gage splurged on an expensive pillow-top when he started staying over all the time.” Landry finished counting the petty cash.

  Petey frowned. “I don’t have much in the way of savings. Maybe when I’ve been working here a while.”

  “Oh honey, after you’d fallen asleep last night, I put the word out to the guys at Scorch that you were moving into a new place and Gage threatened a few of his cop friends. I think you’ll be surprised what shows up today to make your place homey.”

  “I’m not a charity case, Landry. I can save up. It’ll take a while but…”

  “Housewarming gifts are not charity. If people want to help then you should let them—everyone has stuff they don’t need. Gage and I have pooled two places, so we have all kinds of spares. You’ll get your chance to pay it forward another time. Now, do you think you can handle the cash register?”

  “I think I’ve got it…I’ll yell if I get stuck.”

  “Don’t get your fingers jammed in the drawer. I’ve been there and I can tell you, I found new levels of cursing that day.”

  “Ouchies!”

  “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re a bit pale.”

  “I’m in shock. I got mugged, narrowly avoided death by tentacle-infested trash compactor, found a new home and a new job with my best friend all in the space of twenty-four hours. I need some time to process.”

  “Fair enough. Ooh, did I tell you Gage has never seen Stars Wars?”

  “What the…fudge! I mean he’s gorgeous and Dommy but why are you with him again?”

  “Because he’s gorgeous and Dommy?”

  “I suppose that does excuse an utter lack of geekery.”

  “He also does this thing where he spanks me and squeezes my…uh, never mind.”

  “You can’t stop there! I have a head injury. My brain might explode if you don’t keep going.”

  “If it does, you’re cleaning up the blobby stuff. I have managerial privileges, and you don’t know every scrumptious detail of what Gage and I get up to when we have sexy time.” Petey pouted but only managed to look cuter. “Don’t look at me like that. When you have a Dom of your own, you’ll want to keep the juiciest bits to yourself too.” The bell over the door jangled and several customers came inside. “Time to do some actual work. Then we can have a coffee break. I’ll even let you drink tea because I’m that nice.”

  “Okay. Uh, Landry…there’s a fire truck out front.” Petey pointed at the street.

  “I hope nothing’s on fire!” Landry jogged over to the door but before he could open it, several firemen pushed their way inside. He spotted a friend he knew from Scorch. “Carson? What’s going on? The building isn’t alight, is it? I know I cooked Pop-Tarts this morning, but they weren’t even charred.”

  “No need to evacuate. We’re on our way to a charity event at Teddy Bear’s Kindergarten but Gage told me Petey had a new place here and needed some home comforts. We have some stuff for him…is he here?”

  “I am.” Petey came to stand at Landry’s side. “Hello, Master Carson.”

  “Just Carson’s fine, Petey. We’re not at Scorch now.”

  Petey gasped. “Sorry! Did I just out you to your crew?”

  One of Carson’s colleagues snorted with laughter. “We all know he’s a kinky fucker.”

  “Which is why I’m in charge, and you’ll be cleaning the tender with a toothbrush this evening, Harris. Where do you want all this stuff?” Carson’s voice softened when he addressed Petey who had apparently lost the power of speech.

  Landry tracked the pair of them like he was watching a game of tennis. “Top floor, Carson. You guys can use the door over there. There’s no elevator but you guys like running upstairs, don’t you? Good for keep
ing fit.” Landry gestured to the way through to the stairwell. “The apartment door’s not locked. Just put the boxes anywhere, Petey hasn’t moved in yet, he’s been staying with me.”

  “Got it. You heard him, guys.” A procession of men carrying boxes and bags trekked through the store while Petey watched, wide-eyed. Landry grinned and tried not to drool at all the fit firemen. “Well, well, I think you have an admirer.”

  Petey blushed to the roots of his floppy blond hair. “You’re deranged.”

  “And you’re the color of one of those British telephone boxes. You could do worse, you know. Master Carson is a well-respected Dom. He’s friends with me and Gage so he has to be the best.”

  Sighing, Petey rested his chin on his hands, elbows on the cash desk. “He’s gorgeous, but he’s just being nice. Why would he even give me a second glance? He has subs falling over themselves to play with him at Scorch. He could have anyone.”

  “I love you, but could you be any denser? Have you looked in the mirror recently? Hot bod, check. Pretty face, check. Aura of vulnerability, check. You’re a Dom magnet, my friend. Own it. I’d guess that all you have to do is flutter those golden eyelashes in Carson’s direction and you’ll have him right where you want him.”

  “Where I want him would not be appropriate in this store.”

  Landry giggled. “Well, from the sound of elephants thundering downstairs, I’d guess they’re coming back.”

  The parade of firemen, now empty-handed, made the return journey through the store, much to the delight of a couple of middle-aged ladies browsing the book display. Carson stopped at the cash desk.

  “All done. We left a couple lawn chairs but my sister has a couch and armchair she wants rid of because they bought a new suite. I’ll bring it over when I have my truck. You need some help settling in, Petey?”

  “I… I mean… That would be… If you think… I could…”

  “I’ll be here at eight. I’ll bring take-out and I can help you arrange things how you want them.”

  “Yes, Sir.”