Telephantom

by Gentry Race

  “Oh shit,” Trevor realized. “That’s Ms. Red and Ms. Brown. My baby mama.”

  “Wait,” Cosma whispered back, trying to comprehend the situation. “Those are the bots you had a thing with?”

  “Yes,” Trevor said. “When I left them, I noticed something strange happening. They became luminescent and jelly-like, and merged into one.”

  “Jelly-like merging? That’s a sight,” Cosma said. “Why the name ‘Ms. BS’?”

  Trevor deadpanned a look. “Because she’s full of shit?”

  “Ridiculous,” Cosma said, “Or it could stand for the word that means red-brown; Burnt Sienna.”

  “Oh, right,” Trevor said.

  Gone was the tube that had created Lavarkmird into the terrifying thing it was. Instead, a computer console trashed by cold Chinese food leftovers blinked wildly next to Dr. Beta. He pointed ravenously to his teledeportator and then to Ms. Joy, who’s demeanor now seemed as plain as paper. He slammed a fist down on the console and threw the leftovers at her. Trevor almost charged, seeing the assault on her, but Cosma was quick to calm him down.

  Ms. Joy’s vibe seemed different. Trevor couldn’t put a finger on it, but her eyes held less emotion than when they had left her. Not to mention her white nurse’s outfit had been traded for a pair of unflattering pink scrubs.

  Did the doctor wipe her mind and dress her so drab?

  “I don’t care if he fell off the face of the Earth, Ms. Joy,” Dr. Beta screamed. “If it wasn’t for you mucking around with him, we would have him now.”

  Ms. Joy was saddened by his comments. Dr. Beta reached for a small syringe on the console. “Now I must do everything myself; or should I say, the ‘new you’ will.”

  He inserted the syringe into her arm and injected the substance. Ms. Joy’s eyes were now a fiery red with anger to back it. She clenched her teeth and suddenly became more visceral. Gone was her ingenuity, the cleverness that had helped Cosma and Trevor back at the campfire. Her visceral expression had even made her turn two shades uglier.

  “They have turned her back,” Cosma whispered, “Erased her data.”

  “We must save her,” Trevor said.

  He felt Cosma shoot him a look, but it was one of approval. He was owning the situation — the destiny he’d been given. To be a monster hero meant more than being a human right now. Then there was Ms. Joy…

  With a name like that, it’s gotta be good, he thought to himself.

  “Showtime, Sinatra,” Cosma told him.

  Trevor was struck with an idea. He brushed back his slick black hair with his blue translucent fingers, then he licked them and slicked his eyebrows in accord.

  “Would you like to swing on a star?” he sang, still hidden away, snapping his fingers in time with a rhythmic foot. “Carry moonbeams home in a jar? And be better off than you are?”

  Dr. Beta, Ms. Joy and Lavarkmird scanned the surroundings, looking for the source of the sound.

  Trevor lunged into the room. His new, shiny, booted suit hit the grated iron with a thunderous clunk. Everyone turned around. Trevor stood gallantly with his hands on his waist, trying to execute the best monster hero pose he could. He furrowed an eyebrow and gave a half-assed grin.

  “Or you could grow up to be a fish,” he continued to sing, now pointing at Dr. Beta.

  Dr. Beta’s billowy lips pursed, and his face turned three shades of crimson. Trevor aimed his WIMP gun and began blasting away. Ms. BS hit the ground, while Ms. Joy jumped for Dr. Beta, covering him like a human shield.

  BOOM. BOOM.

  Larvarkmird took every shot like tiny pebbles were being thrown at him. Trevor stared down the barrel of the gun and looked backed for Cosma. She was not far behind, clinging to the ceiling pipes with ease, her hand-like feet gripping each as she moved. Trevor marveled at her agility and strength. Feeling more confident in his new suit, he began twirling in circles, all while flashing what looked like jazz hands as he continued singing.

  Dr. Beta grimaced in disgust, pushed Ms. Joy off him, and pointed to Lavarkmird, standing there with the usual dull look on his face. “Don’t just stand there! Kill that Two-Time Vegas Performer!”

  Lavarkmird leapt with so much force, he sank into the metal grating when he landed. His beady eyes were as black as night, though a nictitating membrane slid over each one for protection during combat. His teeth jutted six inches from his jaw, exposing the many rows of serration, ready to tear him apart.

  Cosma hit the ground just in time to lure Lavarkmird away.

  An angry Ms. Joy was now on her feet as a fleet of Fantom Femroids amassed behind her.

  Each one took on a different element from their surroundings. Trevor cringed with he saw one of the Fantom Femroids bond with the wrought iron. She threw it at him, and he dodged the attack, quickly teleporting out of the way.

  Cosma was now flipping vigorously toward him, landing just before Ms. Joy and the Fantom Femroids reached him. Ms. BS slowly phased through the ground.

  “Trevor…” Anita’s voice scratched into his earpiece. “What are you doing? This was not the plan we discussed.”

  Trevor landed a kick on an approaching Fantom. “It’s okay. Give me some juice. I know what I’m doing. The WIMP guns are too wimpy.”

  “Okay,” Anita said, “Stand by.”

  Dr. Beta realized Trevor was on his comm and reached for his ray gun. He aimed it at the intruder, but it was already too late. Trevor was now in a wide stance with his arms out, like he was posing for Leonardo Divinci’s ‘Vitruvian Man’.

  BOOM!

  A great deal of energy amassed around Trevor and emanated from his core. In a concentric circle, a blast filled the room, knocking everyone back and killing the lights. Everything went dark.

  13

  Light em’ Up

  “God dammit!” Dr. Beta yelled. “I can’t see! Ms. Joy, engage your headlights.”

  Two headlights illuminated from where Ms. Joy was standing. Her chest bore two floodlights the size of ‘C’ cups. She twisted her abdomen and spun the cones of light around, searching for Trevor and Cosma.

  They ducked behind a pillar, but the lights focused on the small WIMP gun Trevor once held. Dr. Beta picked it up and pocketed the weapon.

  “Ms. Joy,” Dr. Beta said. “Shine above me.”

  Ms. Joy shined her chest upward, exposing a floating platform that was lowering. Dr. Beta jumped with all his might, grabbing the edge and tilting it his way. A larger, more robust ray gun slipped off the terrace and into his scaly hands. He lifted the sight to his fishy eye and armed the trigger.

  The power returned to the lights above, and Dr. Beta spotted Cosma and Trevor.

  BOOM BOOM BOOM!

  They ducked and skirted the bursts from Dr. Beta’s ray gun. Ms. Joy lunged at Cosma, only to get a reverse kick to her robotic face. Ms. Joy hit the ground holding her cheek.

  Cosma felt lousy about the tactic. “Sorry, my love.”

  Lavarkmird was now behind Trevor. Unable to seize him with his tiny, wiggling, chicken-like arms, he dropped his brooding shark nose and smacked it against Trevor’s back, flinging him across the chamber. Trevor hit the wall so hard, half of his body integrated into it. He was stuck, seeing the brooding gang swell in numbers.

  Trevor wiggled more, seeking to break loose. A piece from his new suit broke off, and his stomach sank; he didn’t know how that torn piece would influence his outcome.

  “Oh, great! Not again,” he groaned, trying to call Anita. “Anita, Anita. Do you read me?”

  “Yes, I can hear you,” she said, her voice scratching over the radio waves. “What happened? I can’t control the gauge anymore.”

  “Shit, I hate suits,” Trevor said, jabbing his hand against the wall he was integrated into. He pushed slowly, finally freeing himself. “I need to focus. The juice you sent will still be in me for a bit. I can use it to defeat these guys.”

  “Not if I have anything say about it.” Ms. BS said, integrating through the wall and pu
nching Trevor square in the mouth.

  Trevor’s head snapped backward, and when the pain left his jaw, he saw her: Ms. Burnt Sienna. Her reddish brown hair glistened in the chamber lights, and her blue paneled skin glowed just like Trevor’s. She was just like him, save for the female qualities.

  “Ms. Red-Brown?” Trevor suggested.

  “It’s Burnt-Sienna now,” they said, slamming their fist into the wall and just missing his face. “You left us with child.”

  Trevor backed away. His suit was sparking in all directions from the broken piece. He bumped into the vast, brooding Lavarkmird, whose skeleton could now be observed, the dark, dense bones revealed within. His presence was a more menacing threat now — a true monster hero.

  Trevor glanced down and felt a swelling. Except it wasn’t his dick.

  His full frame grew to the size of Lavarkmird. Trevor was astonished, looking around and back at the beady-eyed creature. Lavarkmird threw his head in Trevor’s direction, his jaws wide to chomp down with crushing thrust. Trevor caught his opponent’s top and bottom jaws, planted his foot, and pushed back on the fierce beast.

  His breath was horrid, and Trevor jerked his own head back in response. He felt a cutting sensation on his back, and he turned his head to see Ms. BS now scissoring away at his suit.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Trevor yelled.

  “We must take that which you gave us,” Ms. BS said.

  Trevor held the large Lavarkmird with both hands, his little chicken-wing arms flailing wildly. “What, lady? You want to take my dick?”

  A tug-o-war ensued. Trevor felt his waist go one way and then the other as Lavarkmird pulled on him. Trevor became furious and balled up one fist, smashing it into Lavarkmird and throwing him across the room. He then turned to Ms. BS, who had stopped cutting his suit.

  She stood up slowly, batting her stunning eyes. Trevor knew it was a trick and smiled, letting her believe it was working.

  “Trevor,” they purred. “We would never hurt you.”

  He paused for a moment, looking into their eyes. He could see a little of both Ms. Brown and Ms. Red. Their translucent skin, hardly showing the bones within.

  Ms. BS raised her fist and punched Trevor’s suit.

  BOOM!

  Ms. BS was splattered into a thousand bits and pieces.

  As her body was obliterated, he could see Cosma just behind her, holding a WIMP gun. Ropes of smoke wafted from the barrels.

  “I hope she was a lousy lay,” Cosma said, checking for Dr. Beta. “Look, he’s on top of that hover thing.”

  Dr. Beta stood gallantly on the hover platform, carrying the large ray gun that looked like it was too heavy for him to bear. Behind him was the now-evil Ms. Joy, her beauty still radiant even in her villainy.

  BOOM BOOM BOOM!

  Large blasts struck all around. Cosma sprung for the ceiling, clutching a set of pipes and swinging wildly toward Dr. Beta and Ms. Joy. Trevor rolled left and then right, just before a percussive blast sent him flying back.

  “Man, this is intense,” he said.

  Cosma took one last hold and barreled toward the platform, grabbing its edge and pulling it into a chaotic spin. Dr. Beta and Ms. Joy dropped to their knees to lessen the centrifugal pull. By the time the doctor finally stabilized the platform, Trevor had risen to his feet and was again eyeing Lavarkmird.

  Trevor’s face was fully translucent now, dark skeletal structure beaming from within. He took a deep breath and exhaled, flexing his monster physique in a style only a true monster hero could.

  Lavarkmird pushed his nose into the ground and swung his two large, muscular legs under him to plant a stand.

  “I want to see you do push-ups!” Trevor said, chuckling.

  “Lavarkmird, you idiot!” Dr. Beta called out from the platform above. “Use your lava spit!”

  Trevor cocked an eyebrow, waiting for his opponent to make his move.

  Lavarkmird took a wide stance, arched his back like an Olympic weightlifter, and squinted. Crimson light filled his eyes, and he began to foam at the mouth. What started as a smooth paste was now rocky chunks as it transitioned into hot, spewing lava. Lavarkmird roared, and the eviscerating hot lava flew at Trevor.

  He ducked, but not fast enough. A few chunks hit his shiny suit, and Trevor looked down to see the effects, ready for the pain to spiral up his spinal cord. But there was nothing.

  The hot goop slid off him with the ease of ketchup from tinfoil. Trevor looked up with a smile. That Anita had surpassed herself.

  “How about that,” he said, charging his fist to a magnificent, brilliant bloom and slamming it into Lavarkmird.

  Then he turned his attention to Dr. Beta, who was now aiming his sights on him. Cosma was just below and sprang up, grabbing Ms. Joy’s leg and pulling her off the platform. The hover platform faltered from the weight, and Dr. Beta was knocked down again.

  “Jesus fucking christ!” Dr. Beta yelled. “Can someone get me some goddamn stabilizers for this thing?”

  Trevor looked for Cosma and saw her taking a hard blow to the chin from Ms. Joy. And Lavarkmird wasn’t far behind. He spun on his heel and ran to help her, failing to notice the fishlike man taking aim on him. Cosma didn’t, though.

  “Trevor, look out!” she screamed.

  BOOM!

  Trevor was hit with a bolt of energy that reverberated throughout his body. He stopped midstep, unable to move and feeling like all of his body was paralyzed. A shadow stepped in front of him, and he immediately recognized the smell. A vile, sulfuric orgy of odor…

  Lavarkmird’s breath.

  Anita sat at her desk, safely behind her computer console, reading the information that was displayed to her. Over her ears was nestled a pair of headphones that were larger than her fists — the latest amplification device designed by her father.

  She leaned in close, trying to make out the scrambled signal, watching the oscillating lines of snow. She pressed the communication button one more time. She couldn’t give up on the man and the monkey woman that would save the world.

  “Trevor, Cosma,” she said, “Is everything okay? Please answer me.”

  She looked at her father, plopped on the couch with his nose deep in a novel. On the cover was a large, pink dinosaur trying to hold a book backwards with two hands. It was called ‘Dyslexic, T-Rex’.

  “Something is wrong,” Anita informed him.

  Dr. Dickens pulled his face from the book just long enough to utter, “He’ll be fine. Cosma was a good monkey, and now she is a warrior. She will save him.”

  “Father,” Anita pleaded, “Cosma was our pet monkey that we experimented on and sent off into god knows where. Somehow, she was mutated and came back. Do you really think we should rest the fate of the world in the hands of a blue buffoon and a primate?”

  “You’re right, eiteews,” Dr. Dickens said, digging his nose back into the book.

  “Sweetie,” Anita corrected him, rolling her eyes, and focused on the screen, hoping for a signal of some sort.

  Lavarkmird now had Cosma in his large jaws, holding her tight, though not tightly enough to crush her bones. Trevor felt bad for her, especially when he remembered how bad the thing’s breath was.

  Probably would have been better off if I’d put her out of her misery.

  Trevor felt his frozen, gelatinous body rock and get picked up and placed on the hover platform. Femroids came from the shadows pulled the platform he stood on. The Molecutron was not far. They placed him on top of the molecutron.

  “Excellent,” Dr. Beta said, rubbing his scaly hands together. “I know where you come from, dear sport. Dr. Dickens.” He turned to Ms. Joy, her fiery red eyes still intact, and said, “Ms. Joy, would you please take care of Dr. Dickens and his pesky daughter? It’s time to empty the nest.”

  Trevor’s eyes tried to widen, and his spirit was enraged then swallowed by despair when he realized he would not be able to do anything to stop his first love, Ms. Joy. Regret draped over hi
s soul like a wet blanket, heavy and cold.

  Cosma was ass-deep in Lavarkmird, but squirmed when Ms. Joy stepped into the Molecutron. Only the Femroid’s fiery evil eyes glowed outward from the darkness within.

  Trevor tried to move, but to no avail. He was done for, and where Ms. Joy was headed, they were done for too.

  Ms. Joy pulled on a lever inside, and the door slammed shut, sealing tightly with a stream of air that was strangled with a gasp. Wild arcs of electricity sparked from the base onto Trevor. He could feel the energy and its effects — like someone was sucking the life from him. A blast was cast out, and then Ms. Joy was gone.

  The machine powered down with only wafts of smoke billowing from the seams of the door. Dr. Beta smiled.

  “Now, boy,” he announced, “Behold the vastness of your power!”

  Another energy depletion process began. Trevor felt weak. Can I give it another round?

  Even though he was frozen, he tried to stand tall. Electric arcs sparked wildly again, this time growing from Trevor and descending throughout and around the machine. The ground shook. Cracks grew in the cement and wrought iron.

  Dr. Beta had acquired his ultimate goal: to use Trevor’s newfound powers to complete his plan. Trevor grimaced at the pain that electrocuted his skull.

  Blue, god-like rays now emanated from the fissures in what Trevor could only imagine was hell itself ascending upon him. One grate after another began to drop from the tremors, and for a second, he felt like he was being pulled down to the ground. Except nothing was touching him.

  He rolled his eyes around, scanning the horizon. The ground felt like it was breaking with the blue aura that emanated all around. Through the windows, he watched a dark, cloudy night transition to bleak blackness blotted with dots of light.

  Stars. We’re in space.

  Anita kept her fingers diligent, maximizing the entries she made into the console. She was looking for Trevor but coming up emptyhanded. In her gut, she felt something was wrong, as if the island had just disappeared. There was only one way to find out.