Jess nodded enthusiastically and skipped ahead of him into the restaurant. Jason followed, smiling. This was what love was supposed to feel like.
“I’VE BEEN CALLING YOU all morning,” Nate said accusingly as he guided Olivia to the passenger side of his sleek Lexus, acting like this was the most normal thing ever. Him showing up out of the blue. The missed calls.
“Yeah, sorry, I was at church and-”
“You found so friends,” Nate’s voice raised into a nearly condescending register. Olivia couldn’t tell if he'd seen Jason and was disapproving. Olivia didn’t care either way, this was her life, her world he had dropped in on. If he didn’t like what he found -
Nate leaned over and planted another slow kiss on her lips. She was shocked how little she enjoyed it. “I missed you,” he cooed, trying to make puppy-dog eyes. “And I’ve come to take you back to New York, I’ve already talked to your mother...”
Olivia pressed her fingers against her closed eyes until she saw bright patterns behind her lids. He’s been talking to my mother...
“She told me you were here..”
Do I have no autonomy?
“And that you might need a ride home...”
Am I really this helpless?
“...can live in my apartment until you find a new place. What do you think? Olivia?”
But her mind had been swirling with so many thought she had barely heard a word he said. “Sure, yeah, I should just say goodbye to my grandmother before I leave.”
“Yes of course, dear, that’s what I was saying. Tomorrow you can pack and whatever, and we’ll be in Manhattan in the evening.” Olivia was puzzled. “You’re staying here?”
“Well, I flew in from Beijing the drove all morning, and I have a call tonight I don’t want to be on the road for. I know you’re anxious to get back to the city but cut me some slack, I’m pretty jet lagged.” Nate replied, eyes scanning the road. He turned to smile at her and stroke her hair. “You look good, ready to get back to work”
Olivia blinked at him. She really didn’t know what to say.
“I know I am. The DRIVERS around here...goodness, people really aren’t in a hurry, guess there’s no place worth getting to quickly,” he said with a chuckle. Olivia leaned back into the leather seat and shut her eyes again. Suddenly, New York seemed less appealing than it ever had before.
ANOTHER SHRILL SCREAM echoed down the stairwell. Some bar patrons paused their conversation to joke that someone must be getting murdered upstairs. Jason sent another text to his brother. Jess can’t be screaming like that up there, we can hear you down at the bar.
A reply quickly blipped into the chat. Sorry, Dad wasn’t feeling well, I didn’t want her to keep him up, I don’t know what to do. Another hot-tempered scream shot down the stairs. Jason pocketed his phone and rubbed his temples. Apparently, it had been an emotional day for more than just him. All the stimulation and confusion of being surrounded by strangers must have rattled his niece, and she couldn’t handle the emotions. He didn’t blame her. This wasn’t an environment for a child. When he imagined kids of his own, he always imagined raising them with Olivia, but where would that have been? In a stuffy apartment, on a busy street above a bar? That could be his kid screaming right now.
But Olivia had made it clear she did not want children. That was just another of his unrealistic fantasies. Why did he ever think she’d marry him that night?
He looked around at the emptying floor. There were a few tables left drinking beers, some old timers at the bar, nothing he couldn’t handle by himself, but he needed Seth down here doing kitchen prep, otherwise he would be in the back until morning. Thank heavens Molly had clocked out yet. She leaned against the server station, elbows on the bar, chin on her folded hands. “What’s up, champ?” she asked concernedly. “Someone might be getting murdered up there, you know.”
“Listen, Molly could you go upstairs and try to help Seth out? I’ll take care of your tables. Please, just anything you can do,” he pleaded.
“Ok, but I should have been clocked out an hour ago - it’s a school night. I expect over time.” She flipped a rag from her back pocket playfully on the bar and gave him a wink.
Jason mouthed, “thank you” and did a mock bow, hand pressed together in a prayer as she strutted away.
Not ten minutes later, Seth jogged down the stairs. Jason held up a hand to stop the apology he knew was coming. “It’s fine, just get the kitchen prep done as fast as you can.”
His phone dinged, Jason took it out and opened a picture from Molly. It was Jess, cradled against her right arm, thumb in her mouth, fast asleep.
Jason said a quick prayer of thanks. Only Molly, he thought.
Chapter 9
NATE WAS DOWNSTAIRS, enchanting Olivia’s mother while she changed for dinner. Her mom had absolutely fawned over him since he walked in the door. They’d made reservations at a fancy steakhouse outside of town. Well, fancy for the Brighton area. She sat on her bed and dialed her Nan.
Nan picked up immediately, but with the same, low energy voice she’d had at church. “Nan?” Olivia started gently, “are you ok?”
“Just tired, dear, I’m about to go to bed.”
Olivia felt suddenly very guilty, but she had to tell her Nan. “I’m going back to New York tomorrow, but I’ll come say goodbye in the morning.” She expected her Nan to object, to have something wise and convincing to say in protest, to suddenly elucidate the right decision, the right next step, but she just said, “I know dear, you want to get back. Come on in and say goodbye tomorrow, I love you.”
Olivia bid her goodnight, and hung up the phone, strangely nervous.
“FINALLY, LOOKS LIKE we found someplace clean at least,” Nate whispered against her ear as they walked into The Kingston. Olivia bit her tongue. Last night. You can do it. This time tomorrow she would be back where she belonged. Back where they belonged. She glanced at Nate. What was charming, confident and worldly in New York, here seemed brash and obnoxious. Nate stuck out even more than she did, and he loved every second, even as he cast derision on nearly every aspect of her hometown.
“Can I get you a drink, Mrs. Comlbs?” Nate nearly simpered. At least that’s what it sounded like to Olivia. Her mother giggled and he strode off to the bar.
“Now that is a very nice young man, Olivia,” her mother said, still watching the retreating Nate. “I don’t know why you haven’t brought him home before.”
She had never seen her mother so enchanted with something regarding Olivia. Her mother licked a thumb and dragged it under her eye. “Mom!” Olivia hissed. What had gotten into her?
“Your eyeliner is crooked, dear, it’s like you did your makeup in the dark.” Olivia expected her mother was half right, she still had trouble making out details clearly and she had borrowed mostly her Mother’s makeup to hastily put on a face for dinner.
Olivia ate slowly, mostly in silence as Nate and her mother chatted away about Nate’s trip, Nate’s accounts, Nate’s apartment, Nate’s international boarding school he attended 20 years ago. It was Olivia that caught Mallory Thermon’s eye as she passed the table.
“Susan?” she exclaimed in faux surprise. Mallory tucked her hair behind an ear, making a large, teardrop diamond earring glitter in the overhead light.
“Oh, Mallory, how nice to see you,” her mother kept up the same phony energy. Mallory bent to give her a kiss on the cheek. Olivia forced a smile.
“Nice to see you, Mrs. Thermon,” she said. Mallory Thermon smiled in way of a greeting. Her eyes appraised Nate, running down his Armani suit, over his fresh, crisp haircut. Olivia thought she might try to pry open his mouth and have a look at his teeth next. She was obviously impressed. Nate held his hand out, palm up.
“Nate Gregory, a pleasure to meet you.” She placed her hand in his and he ducked his head briefly over it. Olivia rolled her eyes; she was going to be sick.
Olivia cleared her throat, eyes on her plate. At least Nate seemed to get the
message. “I’m sure we’ll meet again soon, Mrs. Thermon, again, a pleasure,” he said, now almost dismissively. Mallory smirked and excused herself. No doubt to go gossip all about Olivia’s new boyfriend to her disinterested husband. Nate could go from smarmy to a real jerk in no time flat, Olivia was sure Mallory felt snubbed. Serves you right. She thought a bit meanly.
“Well, I think you made yourself quite heard, Olivia,” her mother said curtly, smoothing the napkin on her lap. Not even acknowledging it had been Nate who coolly dismissed Mallory with a single sentence and close-pressed smile over a wine glass. “You know Olivia, Mallory’s daughter is a physician at Mount Sinai, maybe,”
“Maybe I’ll never see her ever because there is more than one Mount Sinai and also it’s New York?” Olivia snapped. The last thing she wanted to start talking about was Bianca Thermon.
Nate laughed, trying to clear the tension. “And what’s got you so twisted up, Livy?” he joked.
“Olivia is just jealous,” her mother chimed in. This wasn’t how mothers were supposed to talk about their daughter’s, didn’t her mother have an ounce of empathy or tact? “Bianca was a merit scholar and Olivia’s SAT wasn’t high enough, Bianca went off to New York before her.” Of course, her mother wanted to bring up the fact that she’d gone to a small school near home and never even attended Columbia, like she’d planned. What a great time to bring it up again.
“That sounds like my Liv,” laughed Nate, “can’t ever be second best.” Nate tilted his glass towards her, smiling.
Olivia let her fork clatter onto her plate. “I’m tired, we should get home soon.” She tossed her napkin onto the table and excused herself to the restroom, fists clenched. She was tired. Tired of being humiliated by two people that were supposed to love her, tired of the Steakhouse’s cloying charcoal smell, tired of the low chatter of banal conversations around her. She wanted some of Jason’s house fries, and to go to bed.
AT THE HOUSE, NATE and her mother were still chatting jocularly in the kitchen as Olivia scrolled through her phone. Her mother, with the gaiety of a schoolgirl, kissed them both goodnight, and winked slyly at Nate as she mentioned, “the guest room is made up, but I always thought Olivia’s mattress was much better.” Olivia rolled her eyes for the 100th time.
Olivia led them both upstairs to the bedrooms, but Nate paused by hers. Before she realized what was happening, he had her pressed up against the closed door, lips hard against her mouth, hands on her hips.
Olivia inhaled sharply and put a hand on his chest, pushing him away. “Olivia, what’s wrong?” He tilted his head and tried to kiss her again, but she turned and let it fall on her cheek.
Nate bristled, and his voice got harder. “Is it about work? Because you look fine and there is plenty to do when you get back, I...” Nate put his hands down. “You don’t have to be embarrassed.” Nate tried to stroke Olivia’s face, but she brushed his hand away.
“It’s not going to work out, Nate.” She said, fumbling for the doorknob behind her.
“Of course, it will.” Continued Nate, still not catching on. “I’ll basically run the offices in Nanjing soon, and you’ll end up auditing every office in the US for corporate. It’s what you’re good at, and the Chinese love an international partnership like ours, we’ll run the place.” So that was how he saw it. They wouldn’t be traveling the world together; he was selling them to corporate as a pair.
“No, our relationship isn’t going to work, I can’t live with you, you should leave tomorrow without me.” Olivia turned the knob and stepped backwards. Nate’s face was red, and he opened his mouth for a retort, but Olivia closed the door in his face.
She heard the guest room door close hard. Olivia lay in her bed, still wearing her jacket and cocktail dress.
Of course, Nate only thought of their future in terms of work. All they talked about were projects, how things were going at corporate. And hadn’t she given up love to pursue a career? They were more alike than she wanted to admit.
She turned on her side and let the emptiness expand in her chest. Tears rolled sideways onto her pillow, dragging her already crooked eyeliner across her face. All she could think about was Jason. He had offered her real love, a community and family, and she had been too single minded to realize that was what she had needed and wanted all along. But now it was too late.
Chapter 10
OLIVIA HAD WAITED UNTIL she heard the sounds of Nate leaving before she went downstairs for coffee. Her mother joined her soon after, and Olivia’s gut tensed, she knew her mother’s reaction wasn’t going to be pleasant.
“Morning,” her mother said, pouring out the last of the coffee. “Where’s your boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend...anymore,” said Olivia resolutely, taking another sip of her coffee. “He left already.”
Her mother paused, obviously shocked. “Excuse me? And why aren’t you with him?” Olivia couldn’t tell if the question was about their relationship or her leaving.
“I told him to leave, Mom, we’re not right for each other.” Olivia couldn’t tell her mother was getting worked up, ready for a fight. Olivia tried to deescalate. “I’ll go back to New York myself, as soon as I find a sublet or something, work is fine.”
“Well, I don’t know who you think you are,” her mother said, setting her mug down hard on the marble counter, “do you think you’ll find someone better than that boy? Someone who could help your career like that?” Olivia felt rage building inside her. “And how long do you plan to stay in this house? Hmmm? Your father and I can’t cart you around like a child forever, you know, you have to get back to reality, young lady.”
Olivia pushed back her chair violently from the table, hot anger flowing through her body, and tears welling in her eyes. “Fine, I’ll go stay with Nan,” she said through gritted teeth. “And I’ll call my own car, Mother.” Olivia stormed out of the kitchen and back upstairs for her things. She had hoped this trip home would be as restorative as Nan had suggested, that maybe she could have something like a real relationship with her mother, but it looked like things had only gotten worse.
OLIVIA WAS FULL ON crying now, as she waited for the car service. Her Nan wasn’t picking up, but she had a key to her house, and Olivia couldn’t stand to be in her mother’s presence a moment longer. The driver loaded her suitcases into the car, and Olivia sniffled the whole twenty-minute ride to her grandmother’s house.
A few minutes away, she tried her Nan again. No answer. “It’s just around this corner, on the left, it’s the long driveway -” Olivia faltered as they took the looping turn towards Nan’s little house. She saw the red and blue flashing before she saw the driveway. An ambulance was parked up near the garage, the front door was open. Something was very wrong. The car stopped, and so did Olivia’s heart.
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