A voice came from her left. “Liv, hey! Are you looking for your grandmother? She’s upfront with us.” Annette cocked her head towards the stage and gestured for the three of them to follow. “Sit with your friends, Olivia, we’ll sit by your grandmother” Your grandmother, sniffed Olivia to herself. She couldn’t even find a more endearing term for her own mother. Was this what every woman in her family was destined to become? A bitter, lonely cliche who whines about her mother over glasses of chardonnay? Olivia froze when she realized what her mother had meant- Her grandmother was sitting at the far end of a pew, hands delicately folded on her lap, legs crossed beneath an ankle length skirt, and in front bent over and whispering to a young blonde girl, was Jason.
“I want to sit next to Nan,” she quickly told her mother, and then to Annette, “thanks, I’ll sit behind.” Annette smiled cheerfully and crab-walked past her husband to sit between two grade schoolboys, whose quickly escalating pinch fight was broken up by her arrival.
Olivia slid in next to Nan and gave her a peck on the cheek, then leaned back so Nan could do the same to her mother. Nan grabbed her hand and pulled it into her lap. She looked...tired. Not the robust, talkative woman who could chat up a total stranger like they were long lost friends. She gave her hand a squeeze. “Do you want to do something after church, Nan?” Olivia asked, hoping the answer would be chipper and affirmative, but her Nan shook her head slowly.
“Not today, dear, I’m just feeling under the weather. Maybe there’s someone that wants to take you to lunch though.” Olivia prayed the pew in front hadn’t heard that.
“Ok, I love you, Nan.” Olivia said, and resisted the urge to rest her head on the old woman’s shoulder. Her thoughts strayed back to Jason, so close.
“I have to go to the bathroom, Mom,” said Annette’s youngest, diagonally in front of her. Olivia guessed he must be about 4.
“I asked you five minutes ago to come with me, now it's too late” and Annette shushed him as the preacher took the podium. Jason still hadn’t turned around to look at her. He’s really giving himself away, thought Olivia. He knows I’m here, what’s his problem?
She hoped that no one in her family noticed her eyes boring a hole in the back of Jason’s head. No matter how she tried to focus on Paster Kern, her mind kept wandering back to Jason. It was driving her crazy, having him so close - she was likely a needy puppy, wishing he would at least acknowledge her. She tried to picture what he looked like, with his hair neatly combed back, not yet disturbed by his constant, anxious ruffling of it. A simple black sweater - Olivia had bought him several all-black shirts years ago. She always like how his blue-grey eyes sparkled in contrast. Her Nan delicately cleared her throat. It was probably just that, but Olivia couldn’t help interpreting it as an indication she needed to be concentrating on the week’s message. She closed her eyes. Even if it didn’t help her concentrate, maybe she looked like she was really feeling the scripture being read. At least she could see Jason.
But as she counted her breath, she couldn’t help noticing the smell of him, wafting over her. It wasn’t the smell of the restaurant, or food and beer-stained work uniform - it wasn’t even the smell of his soap or shampoo, it was just...Jason. Memories starting to bubble up in her brain - memories of burying her face in his neck to inhale that smell. Olivia was tensed like an animal ready to bolt, she was counting the minutes until this agony was over. Maybe she could even shoo her family out of the pews the opposite way, and Jason and her would never have to acknowledge each other. Her irritation at his lack of civility had already turned into panic that he might actually notice her.
Suddenly, as the pastor’s booming crescendo cut off, into a purposeful and powerful silence, her Dad’s phone began to buzz. Olivia squirmed with embarrassment. Vibrate is not silent, Dad. She gritted her teeth, hoping this wasn’t when Jason would decide to turn around.
Her father fumbled around with his jacket, digging into each pocket in turn. Finally, he pulled out his phone and jabbed at the center button with his index finger. Olivia, trying not to turn her head, but doing all she could to make her side-eye a glare, said her first prayer of the service. I’m sorry, God, please don’t let this ruin our Sunday. Please let me get through this. It was a plea she had a feeling would go unanswered. And she deserved it. She hadn’t said a real prayer in years. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her father whisper into Mom’s ear, and he leaned over to clap a hand on Olivia’s knee. She prayed again he wouldn’t stage-whisper across her mother. Instead, he just quickly got up, and as the pastor began another point in the sermon, shuffled along the pew, turned down the aisle and walked into the hall. He didn’t return.
As Pastor Kern wrapped up the final prayer, Olivia kept her head bowed and eyes closed as long as she dared. When she finally felt a nudge from her mother she straightened up. Jason was gone, but Annette and her boys remained in the pew in front of her, chatting to some people she didn’t recognize. “You father said he’d wait outside, I’m going to go say hello to Shelly Knox,” her mother said before turning and striding across the room.
Annette caught her eye and motioned for them to all go out into the aisle. Annette introduced her to the couple she didn’t know. “Olivia, this is Brent and Laura Harvey. They went to Brighton High, before your time, I think” Olivia shook hands with the couple. She liked them immediately - conservatively dressed, nodding politely but not excessively sanguine when a church member gave them a wave. Effusive, too-friendly types had always made Olivia uncomfortable. Annette seemed to be the only soul who could get away with her Labrador-friendliness and straightforward approach to getting to know someone.
“We’re all going to brunch, it’s become kind of a tradition,” you should come along. Oliva glanced around nervously. “We” sounded suspiciously like the kind of ‘we’ that was supposed to have coffee yesterday. She couldn’t believe how fast she’d forgiven Annette for sending her into an emotional tailspin. It was just the effect Annette seemed to have on people - you just couldn’t stay mad at her. “I’d love to hang out again, but I should talk to my grandmother, and find my parents.” Olivia squinted across the wide chapel, as if she had regained 20/20 vision. This was supposed to be a family day, anyway.
“Oh, come on,” Annette pleaded. You’ll be gone soon, come hang out, we’ll give you a ride. We even leave early to get the boys from Sunday school.” Annette jerked her head at the young brothers who were beginning to roughhouse on the pews. “Go tell you Mom, see your grandma and we’ll meet in the parking lot, I’ll take these two to their classrooms” Annette wasn’t taking no for an answer and stepped closer to whisper something in her ear. “Jason will probably come; he wants to see you.”
Annette grabbed her boys and pulled them by the hands towards the back doors. “We’re parked on the East side, by the signs,” she tossed back over her shoulder. Olivia was rooted to the spot, giving polite nods to Brent and Laura, who would be joining them for brunch. Jason wants to see me? Olivia couldn’t believe that. Had he said something to Annette? Or did she have some kind of romantic, optimistic story written out in her head, where she reinvigorated a tragic, impossible romance? That didn’t sound like Annette, aside from her generally charitable assessments of people, she was nothing but pragmatic and level-headed.
She supposed with her eyes doing so much better, it wouldn’t be long until she was gone again, anyway. What did she have to lose? It was probably time to start being a better friend. She trudged off to find her mother. At least ONE relationship was on the mend.
“DID YOU GET THE TABLE?” Jason asked as he turned to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Molly outside the Waveland Diner.
“Yeah, half an hour. Who’s the seventh wheel?” Molly asked derisively, as if she’d already guessed the answer. Jason’s hesitation answered for him.
“Her?” Molly scoffed, though Jason was sure it didn’t come as a surprise.
“Please,” He said holding up a hand, “I’ve already heard too mu
ch.”
Molly was young, still in college, but she was incredibly rational and sensitive for her age. She had come along to work in the restaurant when he needed help the most, both to run the bar and personally. She knew him better than anyone except maybe his father, and knew what his breakup with Olivia had done to him. He tousled her curly, tom-boy-short hair, something only he could get away with, and gave her a playful shove. “I can take care of myself.”
“Don’t come crying to me, then,” she said with a rueful smirk.
He loved Molly, in part because she was so much like Olivia - proud, stubborn and laser focused. If Olivia was a stone sculpture, she was the same shape, made of something softer. After Olivia left, though, he hadn’t been able to cultivate romantic feelings for anyone else, even though he and Molly had gone on a few half-dates before they realized they were acting just like best friends. And best friends they remained.
Jason yanked his phone out of his pocket to distract himself as Annette’s car pulled into the parking lot. Molly grabbed his forearm and whispered in his ear, “Since when did you stop wearing work boots to church?” She gently kicked the side of his recently polished Oxfords, and walked inside, leaving Jason hot-faced. Didn’t I say I wouldn’t rearrange my life around her? Jason chided himself, but as Olivia stepped from the backseat, and he watched the wind pick up her thick, raven black hair, and his heart began to race in his chest. He worried, maybe Molly could see something coming he didn’t. Maybe he was in more trouble than he thought...
OLIVIA WAS READY TO leave the Diner before coffees had been poured. Annette, to her credit, was being charitable on their end of the table, asking leading questions about her life in New York so as to appear in the best possible light to her husband and the Harveys, when they were listening. She felt like she was giving a report on the most boring biography ever written, she hated talking about herself, but it was better than engaging with Jason and his girlfriend.
Olivia could see clearly enough that she was leaning into him the entire meal, laughing at his jokes, the kind of stuff THEY used to do. Whatever, hadn’t she expected Jason to be married already? Of course, he had a young, cute girlfriend who was infatuated with him. That is the kind of attention a man like Jason attracts. She was only feeling this way because she was anxious about getting back to New York. She felt isolated out here, and their easy relationship was making her feel excluded, that’s all.
She looked away as Molly reached across the table, using Jason’s shoulder as support. Olivia made a ‘check please’ motion at the server. She pushed her chair back and marched up to the counter to pay. Suddenly Annette was behind her. “I’d argue with you, but Mrs. Thompson called, and one of the boys got hurt and is throwing a fit, I have to run. Do you want to come along, and I drop you off after we grab them?”
Olivia weighed her options- the thought of riding backseat between two children, one who would be screaming, didn’t appeal to her. “No, you guys go ahead, I’ll call Mom, or a car service, thanks for the lift, Annette.” Annette gave her a pat on the cheek and hurried towards her husband, holding the diner door open for her. He gave Olivia a wave and followed.
The Harvey’s were beside her moments later trying to slip her some cash, but she waved the two off, and with only a few pleasantries, walked out too.
Only she, Jason and Molly were left in the diner. She should throw some cash on the counter and bolt, she thought. She flexed up on tiptoes, looking back at the table where Jason and Molly were still deep in conversation. Molly tipped her head back, laughing.
She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed like that. A suddenly ugly jealousy filled up her chest. If she didn’t know any better, she could be stuck in a small town, working a minimum wage job, with a college dropout boyfriend and laugh, too. The complete thought immediately filled her with shame. Stop showing your insecurity, she’s just a kid. Olivia wrenched her eyes away before they stood up and turned around. She paid the cashier, hastily scribbling a signature on the wrong spot, and headed for the door. Now what genius? Just loiter outside like an idiot? But indeed, that was her only option. She pulled out her cell phone to call her mother for a ride. Five missed calls? Who -
“Need a ride?” Jason was still holding the door for Molly, who was giving her the most hostile stare she’d encountered yet.
“No, um I’m calling my Mom, it’s fine -” Her head was suddenly swimming, and her throat was tight as Molly whispered in Jason’s ear. She wished Molly didn’t have to make it so obvious how much she hated her.
“I get some studying in - see you tonight?” Molly gave him a much-to-intimate peck against the shoulder and jogged to her beat up car.
Olivia was still holding her phone but hadn’t dragged her eyes away from Jason. “Seriously, it’s no problem, let me give you a ride.” Jason said, stepping towards her. The knot hadn’t loosened in Olivia’s stomach and the last thing she wanted was to be trapped in a car with Jason again. She pushed the home button on her cell, but Jason grabbed her wrist gently. “Don’t be so stubborn, Liv.”
It was as though Jason knew he now had the upper hand- he was the cool, indifferent one with a dream girlfriend and plans and a happy future, and she was the lonely coward who couldn’t keep her emotions in check. Jason’s grey-blue eyes really did glitter against that sweater. He should zip his jacket, Olivia thought absentmindedly, caught in the beam that was radiating from Jason’s stare. She reached her free hand towards his coat zipper.
A dissonant, blaring horn issued from a sleek black Lexus parked at the far end of the lot. They looked, and Jason mumbled a few very un-Jason-like words at the driver. Out of the car stepped a tall, lean man in a crisp, close fitting suit. Even with her crumby eyes, Olivia recognized the out-of-place figure that leaned against the driver side. “Hey Liv!” Nate shouted
“You know him?” asked Jason suddenly perplexed.
“He’s my, uh-”
“Oh,” said Jason knowingly, “well I have to get to the restaurant...” He dropped her wrist like it was suddenly white hot, and nearly ran back to his truck, running a hand through his now mussed hair. Olivia still didn’t quite know what was happening as she met a grinning Nate, halfway to his car. He grabbed her by the shoulders and bent in for a kiss. Olivia pulled back as soon as she could. “N-Nate, what are you doing here?”
Chapter 8
JASON NEARLY SWIPED a minivan as he peeled out of the parking lot, hands clenched in a death grip on the steering wheel. He hadn’t been keeping his expectations as low as he had thought, and he could only blame himself. He should have never come to brunch, never taken time away from the restaurant to be around a woman he had no future with.
He felt like a fool. Watching her for any sign she was still interested. Dreaming about the moment she might touch him again, watching her tuck her hair behind her eyes and guessing what impenetrable thoughts made her brow crease and her eyes unfocused. You fool. Molly DID know him better than he knew himself. He couldn’t even control himself enough to NOT look at Olivia in the rearview mirror, and see the tall, slick, good looking man grab her and kiss her long and slow.
Jason turned up the radio, willing his heart to slow down and match the thumping vase. He had lost Olivia for real before, and he’d just have to take this minor loss. Hadn’t he always known that was the kind of man Olivia would end up with? Who she deserved? Someone like that would share so much more with her, her interests, her aspirations, her talent. Who was he? Just the manager of some run-down bar in a town no one has ever heard of.
He pulled around back and into the restaurant parking lot. Noticing the worn-down sign with a newly flickering neon letter. That was something he’d have to hire out to fix, and they were barely breaking even as it was. It would have to wait. For what exactly, he didn’t know. Living with his father and now brother and niece was fine by him, but he wished he could offer his Dad something better than a converted space above a failing restaurant.
It was better Ol
ivia was out of reach. He didn’t need another commitment or another distraction. People counted on him; his family needed him. Little Jessie needed him.
Right on cue he noticed a small figure in a bright pink bubble jacket drop the handle of a huge shovel, and scurry through the propped open back door. Jason smiled to himself, it was the first time he’d seen Jess outside, besides when he took her to church. He wished he hadn’t scared her off.
Jason walked towards the unlocked door, noticing the short, shallow shovel marks in the fluffy snow that covered the patio. Jess slipped back out through the door, hands out-stretched - she was holding a piece of paper towards Jason in her mittened hands.
“What’s this?” asked Jason as he took the red construction paper delicately. The little girl’s knitted hat was sitting so low it half-covered her eyes and she tilted her head back comically far to see him.
“We made cards in Sunday school, it’s for you.” squeaked Jess. Jason peeled the folded paper open. “It’s for Valentine’s Day,” she added.
“And here I thought I’d be all alone with no Valentine,” said Jason, trying not to tear up. “Can I give you a hug?” and miraculously the timid little girl walked up and held her arms out for a hug. Jason bent down and squeezed her gently. It was the first sign of affection he’d seen from her since they arrived. Maybe Sunday school was a good idea.
“Dad says I should clear the snow.”
Jason laughed out loud as the tiny girl heaved the handle of the huge snow shovel up so high it nearly rested against her cheek. “I think it’s time for a break and some hot chocolate, you did a good job.”
Wait For Me Book 1: A Second Chance Christian Romance Page 4
