Gregory woke me an hour or so later. “Juliana, wake up. Your sister’s at the door. She says it’s urgent.”
“All right,” I mumbled, walking to the door. I saw Crystal on the doorstep. “Crystal, what is wrong?” I couldn’t help but notice she was wearing all black.
“Julia. It’s our mother. She’s dying.”
I whirled around and grabbed my cloak. I told Gregory where I was going, then followed my sister out the door. All other thoughts fled from my mind as we ran down to the buggy. We both scrambled inside and rode to my parents’ house. As soon as we arrived we raced inside to the sickroom. The entire family was inside, surrounding my mother. Peter got up and silently embraced me.
“Juliana, I am glad you could come. It’ll mean much to Mother that you could,” he said quietly.
I nodded and walked past him to my mother’s side. “Mama. I’m here. It’ll be okay,” I said.
Our mother was as pale as a ghost. She was incredibly thin and was barely breathing. I touched her hand as I felt tears. Her eyes had been closed but they opened after I spoken. Her eyes were glassy but she looked directly at me. With failing strength she spoke. “Julia, you came.”
I looked at her and the tears started to run down my face. “Mother, of course I came. I am healthy enough. Do not try to talk. You have to conserve your strength,” I stammered.
“Julia . . . it’s not going to work that way this time. The days that had been ordained for me have run out. I need to talk to you while I still can.”
“All right, Mother,” I answered, feeling resigned.
“I love you, Julia. You have to . . . be careful. You have to be strong. Behave.”
“She only has hours left,” Crystal whispered. I turned away. Peter and Father were back up by Mother’s bed. She followed me across the room. I remembered I was going to meet Adam, needed to make him understand why it was so important to me not to upset my marriage. I was going to tell him everything that had happened to me. But my family needed me first.
Crystal sat down and put her head in her hands. I sat beside her. “How fare thee? Did you eat?”
“I’m all right. Yes, I’ve eaten some meat. Julia, how fare thee?”
“Tired,” I sighed, watching my family.
“You are probably still ill,” she said.
Peter walked up to us. “Juliana, get some sleep. We’ll take turns. If she starts going we’ll wake everyone up. It’s senseless to use up all your strength when you’ve just been regaining it,” he said. I looked at our parents, then at my concerned siblings. Peter was being nice. Probably for our Mother’s sake. I nodded and closed my eyes.
Sometime later I woke to someone’s continuous shaking. “Juliana! Juliana, wake up!” Peter hissed urgently. My eyes flew open and I stared at him in confusion. “Mother’s going.”
I remembered what was going on and quickly rose to my feet. Father and Crystal were already at her side saying words that were meant to soothe. I didn’t understand why. She wasn’t even conscious. I silently sat down and took her hand, to offer comfort. Crystal begin to cry openly at Mother’s other side. I heard my father and brother whisper goodbye. I was sitting next to Peter, as stiff as a statue. I still could not say or do anything except hold her hand.
Mother stopped breathing. Fighting back tears, I whispered, “Goodbye Mama,” and gently laid her hand down. Standing, I turned towards my sister, holding out my arms and she came into my embrace. I hugged her tightly and she cried against my shoulder.
Father and Peter got up and looked at us. I looked at them and vowed not to cry in front of them. I still hadn’t forgiven Father for hitting me or Peter for his input on the life I had been forced into. I wasn’t about to show weakness while in front of them.
“Well … Peter, take Crystal and get her something to eat. Juliana, I’ll need your help with the preparations,” Father said. I nodded and released Crystal. Peter gave Father a dark look that I didn’t fail to see and took Crystal by the elbow and led her out. I could almost hear him ask “Why me?”
I walked towards the far side of the room. “What do you need me to do?”
“I need you to get a nice dress of your Mother’s and dress her in it. I need to notify people.”
I left the room. I found a red dress that used to be one of Mother’s favorites. On my way back to the sickroom I stopped to check on Peter and Crystal. I was reassured to see my little sister had calmed down and that Peter seemed to be helping her. “Are you feeling better Crystal?”
Crystal wrapped her hands around the warm mug of tea and slowly nodded. She didn’t look at me but answered, “I’m doing better now, Julia. Do what you have to.”
I nodded and reentered the sickroom. There was just me and my mother’s body in the room. Slightly spooked from the lack of living souls around, I dressed Mother’s body as quickly as I could, then sat and waited for my father to return. I knew it was time to meet Adam soon after I sat down but I couldn’t leave. I kept track of time as best as I could. As soon as Father walked in the door I rose to my feet. “Do you still need me?”
“Not tonight Juliana. The rest of the family will take over. The wake and funeral will be tomorrow afternoon.”
I nodded, knowing he meant my relatives. “I’ll be back early tomorrow afternoon,” I said and hurried out the door without another word. As soon as I got safely outside I began to run towards the place I was to meet Adam. As soon as I reached the corner I knew I was too late. I turned in a slow circle but Adam was nowhere in sight. My shoulders sagged in despair. “Damn,” I whispered. I started for home, not wanting to be caught alone at night. I hoped to catch sight of him before I reached home. Unfortunately, I didn’t.
I quietly let myself inside. Gregory turned to look at me. “Are you all right?” he asked.
“I think I’m all right. I have to go back tomorrow for the wake and funeral,” I answered wearily.
Gregory nodded. “What time are you needed?”
“Early afternoon,” I answered, tiredly sitting in a chair.
“All right.” He rubbed my shoulders. My eyes closed and I drifted off to sleep.
When I woke, it was late morning and I discovered that Gregory had carried me to bed. I got up and one of my maids bought me a long black dress and veil. I dressed and rolled my hair into a neat bun. As soon as I was ready I joined Gregory in the parlor.
Gregory handed me a cloak and led me down to the buggy. We climbed inside and rode over. Father was talking on the steps with Peter and his wife when we arrived. Crystal was nowhere in sight. We walked to the people on the steps.
“Good day, Gregory, Juliana. Thank you for coming,” Father said shaking my husband’s hand. Peter also shook his hand.
“Where is Crystal?” I asked.
Peter’s wife turned to look at me. “She’s in the viewing room with her future husband.”
“I did not know she was about to marry, Anna,” I said, following her inside.
“It’s quite sudden. It was announced late last night after you left.”
I sighed and walked to the pair across the room. Crystal turned and I saw she was wearing a plain black dress and a beaded headband in her hair. Both Anna and I hugged her. “Did Gregory come?”
Anna nodded. “He’s outside talking with Peter and your father.”
I sat down in one of the chairs and looked at the mysterious young man standing close to where Crystal had been standing. “Who is this?” I asked inquisitively.
“My suitor, Damien Elton,” Crystal answered, looking uncertain. Damien turned around. He had blond hair and green eyes.
“Hello. I believe you’re my future sister–in–law,” he said. His voice was gentle. I rose to my feet and reached out to shake his hand.
“Hello, Damien. You can call me Julia,” I answered. We all sat down. Other people began to fill up the room in the next few hours. I talked to my other relatives and the friends but mostly I stayed in a quiet corner with Crystal, Anna, and Damie
n. Crystal and Damien informed me that marriage had been considered a week or so ago. They had begun a courtship on their own and amazingly Father had approved of it. The final consent had come late last night. I could tell they were in love, even though Damien was seven years older than Crystal, which meant he was twenty–one. I observed him carefully but saw only kindness and gentleness. I finally admitted to myself that Crystal would be safe. It had been my sister who had warned me about Gregory in the first place – she could obviously sense people’s character.
Damien leaned forward. “Julia? Do you love your husband?” he asked. He seemed curious.
“I – Damien. Gregory and I did not marry for love,” I stammered in response. “It was my parents’ choice.” I paused for a second. “Love Gregory? No, I don’t think so,” I said, shaking my head.
Damien studied me for a second. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”
I looked away, just so he and Crystal couldn’t see my pain. “There had been someone else, yes. But I – I think it’s over now. It was never supposed to happen.”
“She fell in love with the servant’s son at our parents’ house when we were younger. But of course, that is forbidden,” Crystal said, rolling her eyes. Anna got up and left without us really noticing.
“So you were married off. Maybe it’s best to think of it as something never meant to be, Julia,” he said, trying to be helpful.
I shrugged as I watched the other mourners pay last respects. “Or maybe it was but they ruined it,” I replied, getting up. Both Crystal and Damien recognized I didn’t want to talk anymore and left me alone. I rejoined Gregory, who was across the room. He looked at me stonily and then we went up to the casket at my urging. As we paid our respects, I noticed Crystal and Damien were behind us.
Later, the entire family, including Damien, was at the cemetery, listening to the service. It was a normal funeral proceeding, with passages read from the Bible, and a few words said about the deceased. We returned home directly afterwards.
I immediately took off my veil and put it away. I sat down and looked at Gregory. His face was stern again. “What’s wrong, Gregory?” I asked uncertainly.
“You think it’s over with that peasant boy now? You’ve never loved me? Julia, what have you been doing? Your brother’s wife told us about your conversation.”
I bit my lip in anger and pain. I couldn’t believe this. I hadn’t been betrayed by the newest member of the family, who was still virtually a stranger; but by Peter’s wife instead, who had been part of my family for a few years at least. I supposed it was fitting somehow, because it has been Peter who had first started the whole mess by telling Father about Adam and me.
I spoke calmly, trying to pacify him. “There must have been a misunderstanding. Damien had asked me if there had been someone else. I had said yes, because there had been, but we– our relationship had ended.”
Gregory stood up. “Had ended just recently, as of a few days ago?”
“No! It ended long before that!”
“I doubt that. I don’t think you’ve ever stopped seeing that boy. Did you, Julia?”
“I stopped seeing him, Gregory!” I screamed, suddenly frightened.
“No, you didn’t! You’re a liar!” I got up and tried to flee. Gregory ran after me and grabbed my arm. He twisted my wrist and bent it backwards. He turned and I had to fall to avoid having my wrist broken. Gregory knelt beside me and pinned my wrist against my head. It hurt. I tried to free my arm by struggling, but realized that wouldn’t work. However, I could roll out if he didn’t know what I planned to do. Relaxing my muscles, I rolled away from him. I immediately began to get to my feet. “You need to learn, Juliana!” Gregory screamed, swinging his foot to kick. I managed to hide my face in time. His kick made contact with my left temple instead. Pain exploded through my head. Feeling blood begin to pour down the side of my face, I collapsed to the floor. He kicked me a second time and I cried out, hiding my face. I rolled away again and stumbled to my feet. He swung at me and I parried his fist away and hit him. My act of defiance seemed to anger him further.
“Stop it Gregory!” I shrieked as he grabbed one of the chairs. He swung it around and I instantly bought my hands up to block the blow even as I tried to move away. The chair smashed against my arms, shoulders, and finally my head. I fell, and couldn’t use my arms to brace myself. They were throbbing and seemed useless. I wondered if he had broken them.
“When will you ever learn, Juliana?”
I coughed up blood and could not immediately answer. There was blood everywhere. On the floor, my skin, even my hair. Desperation made me force words out. “I will do anything you want. Just don’t hurt me anymore. Please.” I began to cry. “No more.” Gregory opened his mouth to answer but I never heard it. I lost consciousness seconds later.
The first sound I remembered hearing was a loud thud, followed by a crash. “What the hell happened to her?!” a male voice shouted angrily. There was another loud thud. The voice spoke again. “Answer me, damnit!”
“I don’t know. I was not in the room,” Gregory’s voice gasped.
“You don’t know?” There was another loud crash.
“Stop it, Adam. Do not give them an excuse to throw you in jail or something,” another male voice said soothingly.
“Damien’s right. Adam, you’re not helping her by acting like this,” a female voice cried shrilly.
There was a long silence. I tried to open my eyes or move my fingers but nothing seemed to obey my commands. “Get out of here,” the first voice growled. “You haven’t been very helpful.”
“She is my wife. You –”
“I said get out of here!”
“Gregory, be quiet and leave. He’s right – you have not offered any explanation for how this happened. She could be dying for all we know.”
“He shouldn’t be here!”
“You have done nothing to help her. He’s with me and he has done a lot more than you have to help her. Now please. Go somewhere else.”
“Crystal’s right. The doctor is somewhere else and Adam seems to be a natural at medicine. Remember, it was you who agreed to let him come,” Damien said.
“Because there’s no one else!”
“Exactly. Now be quiet and go get some supplies or something.” After a second a door slammed. Damien laughed softly. “You beat him up. Jesus, you still love this girl, don’t you?”
“I don’t want anything to happen to her. Her husband wasn’t exactly volunteering information.” The voice moved closer to me. “How could this have happened?”
“Good question,” Damien murmured. “If Gregory was not in the room it could have been an intruder.”
I felt warm cloths covered with something be put over some of my injuries. Crystal asked the question I wanted to ask but couldn’t. “Adam, what is that?”
“It’s a poultice. The cloth is covered with warm comfrey, a plant that helps heal wounds faster.” There was some rustling and someone touched my hand gently. “Julia, can you hear me?” I finally understood that it was really Adam’s voice I was hearing, and realized he was the one touching my hand. I tried to answer, to let him know I could hear him. I must have succeeded in making a sound because I heard him gasp in surprise and his grip tightened slightly on my hand.
“I think that’s a yes, Adam,” Damien said.
“Aye ... Julia, it’s all right. I’m here with you. I’m staying right here,” Adam replied. I heard a scraping sound and knew it had to have been a chair.
“I am going to clean up a bit,” Crystal murmured. I drifted off again, somewhat reassured by the voices.
I awoke fully to the dim light of evening. I blinked and stared at my surroundings in confusion. Eventually, I recognized the dark wood of my dresser, chair, and desk. I was in my bedroom. I heard someone’s light breathing from my right. I moved my head slightly to see the person and a moan escaped my lips. My head throbbed from the movement. I saw Adam staring at me. “Julia
?” he asked softly.
I was shocked and my heart seemed to slam into my throat. “Adam?” I whispered in a cracked voice. Now that I thought about it, I vaguely remember hearing his voice once before when I was half conscious.
“Aye. Your sister and her fiancé bought me here to care for you. The doctor’s with other people. Here, drink this,” he said, lifting my head up. A soothing warm liquid slid down my throat. I drank the entire cupful and then Adam slowly lowered my head down again. He set the cup down and then stroked my hair, moving it around to check the wounds on my scalp. After a second, he drew back and looked at me worriedly. He picked up my hand and held it. “Julia, this is crazy. What’s going on here? What happened? Both of your wrists are sprained, your left shoulder looks awful –and your face, it looks as if you have gone through a war,” he questioned.
I closed my eyes. “Adam please. Just drop it.”
“Julia, tell me what happened.” He gently squeezed my hand. “Was it an intruder? Did they threaten you? Juliana, please,” he pleaded. “I want to help.”
“I know Adam,” I mumbled, drawing in a shallow breath. I decided I needed to tell him now – while I had the chance. “It was Gr–”
“Is she awake?” Gregory asked, standing in the doorway. Funny, how I didn’t see him there before. I broke off my sentence and closed my lips into a thin line. I stared at my husband in new fear and then at Adam. I didn’t want either of us hurt – and if Gregory somehow got past Adam or killed him, I knew I wasn’t strong enough right now to survive another beating.
Adam looked at Gregory for a minute and then cast a hard look at me. I knew he had seen the fear in my eyes the second Gregory had spoken. “Aye. She’s awake,” he answered. “She was about to tell me what happened here since you wouldn’t,” he said tightly. He looked back at me. He squeezed my hand slightly and urged, “Go ahead, Julia.”
Lost Soul Page 5
