‘Nothing, really. Just looking through some old junk.’
‘You’ve got enough shit in here! Next big clean-up we’re doing is in here. Not enough storage, I reckon. Just that one closet. I was thinking of making some storage boxes, actually. This thing I read about in a Better Homes mag last time I was at the doctor.’
‘No way. Clean the rest of the house, but not in here.’ I loved my little treasure cave. My stomach twisted. I was gunna miss it if I left.
‘Just thinking out loud.’ Mum wandered off down the hallway, calling back, ‘Don’t be too long, your coffee will get cold!’
I got the backpack out again and shoved in a few more items—hairbrush, make-up bag, MP3 player, the silk pyjamas Mum gave me for Chrissie. As an afterthought I picked up the little baby-doll Courtney Love dress that Mum had given me when I was thirteen and held it up in front of me in the mirror. I’ll wear this tonight, I decided.
Mum was getting all guzzied up for New Year’s, too. She was excited to go over to Dana and Joan’s for the dinner party.
‘You know, I never get invited to dinner parties,’ she told me. I sat on the end of her bed watching her pull out dresses that she hadn’t worn since the nineties. ‘I know you think I’m old, but seriously, my friends just party, they don’t dinner party. Dinner party sounds so adult, don’t you reckon?’
It was nice to see her so happy, prancing about in her bra and stomach-holding-in knickers.
‘Oh, God, Jez, I forgot to show you.’ Mum ran to the bathroom across the hall. ‘Look what I bought!’ She held up a box of leg wax. ‘Do you use this? You know I’ve never even waxed before! I thought we could do our bikini lines! Wouldn’t that be funny?’
I made a face. ‘I let Casey do mine once. It kinda hurts. Not as bad as you think it will, but it does a bit.’
‘Oooh, let’s do it, Jez. Serious. I want to do girly stuff this arvo. We could do facials!’
‘With what? You need those cream masks and stuff.’
‘I could run to the shop!’
‘If you want . . .’
‘Oh, come on, Jez! Well, at least help me wax, then.’
‘I’m not waxing my mother’s bikini line. No way! Why do you need to do your bikini line, anyway? I thought you broke up with Jeremy?’
‘Yeah, I did.’ Mum sighed and fiddled with the price tag on the box of wax, peeling it back with her fingers. ‘I just want to do girly girl things with my daughter, can we do that?’
‘Mum, I’m not exactly a girly girl.’
‘Don’t you wax?’
‘I usually just shave,’ I admitted.
‘What about the . . . hard-to-reach areas?’
‘MUM!’
‘Well . . .’
‘I’m not that hairy!’
‘Look, are you going to help me or not? I’ll give you five bucks. Consider it like a waxing apprenticeship. Beauty school.’
‘Fifty bucks I’ll give you a makeover.’
‘Makeover? What do I need doing that’s worth fifty bucks? What’s wrong with how I look?’
I tried to be tactful, which really wasn’t a very strong point of my personality. Mum could be mega-sensitive when it came to her appearance, even though she put fuck-all effort into her make-up. ‘You’re just a little decade impaired. It’s the bushy eyebrow thing with the blue eyeliner. And the eyebrow bar makes you look like a dyke.’
‘Alright, that’s enough,’ Mum huffed. ‘I love how you’ve got metal sticking through every bit of your face, but I’ve got one eyebrow bar and it makes me dyke-ish.’
‘You asked!’
‘You’re supposed to lie!’
‘Sorry!’
‘Are you going to help me with this wax thing or not?’
‘Look, I’ll watch you while you do it. You put it on, and I’ll rip the strip off, okay?’
‘Oh, forget it! I’m over it. I need a fag.’ Mum rummaged around in her purse, finding her cigarettes.
My mobile rang. Casey.
‘Hey.’
We hadn’t talked since the night with the football players. She’d been down the coast at her parents’ caravan over Chrissie, and to be honest, I’d been kind of glad to have a breather from her. She just could be so intense.
‘What’s doin’?’ Casey sounded distracted; she didn’t wait for me to reply. ‘Come help me organise shit for the party, will ya?’ She sensed my hesitation and added, ‘Puh-leeeeese, Jezzy? With a cherry on top?’
‘Yeah, I can a bit later. I’m not ready yet and I’m helping Mum get guzzied up for this dinner party she’s going to.’
‘Sluzzered up? Ya mum?’
‘Guzzied up. Like, dressed up.’
‘Oh.’ Casey sounded annoyed.
‘Hey, get this,’ I said to lighten the mood. ‘She asked me to help her wax her bikini line!’
‘Ya mum?!’ Casey snorted. ‘Too funny. I gotta do mine, but last time I did a home job I got all these ingrown hairs on my vagina. Had to pick them out with tweezers, hurt like a mother.’
‘Yeah, right.’ I cringed, trying to shake the visual of Casey’s spotty vag.
Girls chronically over-sharing information about their vaginas totally tugged my tampon. Shaz did it all the time. She’d come over and be like, ‘I just want to claw my vagina, this thrush is so brutal.’ It’s, like, I’VE GOT A VAGINA, YOU’VE GOT A VAGINA?! LET’S TALK ABOUT OUR VAGINAS. I always felt like going, TMI, bitch. I dunno when that became a thing that women just publicly blurt out shit about, but I’m pretty sure women in the old days didn’t sit around going on about yeast infections, dry holes and UTIs.
‘So anyway, I’m sticking to salon waxes only. You should tell your mum that.’
‘Will do.’
‘Catch you later, like, how long you reckon? I need you to help me string fairy lights.’
‘Couple of hours?’
‘Fuuuck. An hour, okay? Puh-leeease, Jez. I’m totally freaking out as it is that nobody’s gunna come and everyone’s gunna go to the city. I neeeed you.’
‘Soon as I can. I got shit to organise here.’ I paused for dramatic effect. ‘This might be my last night here.’
‘What the fuck?’
‘I’m taking off. To Melbourne. Tonight.’
‘WHAT THE FUCK? When? How’re you getting there? WHY?’
‘With Lukey. He’s gunna go live with his cousin and I’m going with him.’
The line went silent. For a moment I thought Casey had hung up.
‘So you guys finally hooked up?’
‘Yeah.’
‘He your boyfriend now?’ Casey questioned sort of nasty-like.
‘I dunno,’ I said, being honest. ‘We haven’t talked about it.’
‘What about Laura?’
‘Laura’s history. That was just a thing. I think he’s over that.’
‘Oh, really?’
‘I think so.’
‘And he’s not seeing anybody else either?’
‘Nope. We started hooking up like a week or so ago, just around Chrissie.’
‘Oh, Jez,’ Casey clucked. I could almost see her shaking her head. ‘Jez, Jez, Jez,’ she continued, all smug. ‘We need to talk.’
‘About what?’ I demanded.
‘You better come over here.’
I sighed. I wanted to spend time with Mum. If I left for Melbourne, I was gunna miss her and because I couldn’t even bring myself to tell Mum I was planning to leave, I wanted some Mum–Jez time before I left for Casey’s.
‘Soon, Case.’ I rubbed my forehead, feeling headachey. ‘I’ll be there soon.’
I swore through clenched teeth. It couldn’t be good news. Casey wouldn’t save up good news to tell me in person. She was a bitch; she would save up bad news to tell me in person so that she could enjoy it more when she saw my face fall. Suddenly I had a bad feeling about the whole night, like that extra Spiderman sense that the giant shit-pot of Kambah in the cesspool of Tuggeranong Valley was starting to stir up a big stink.
It made me want to run out to the back porch and throw myself into my mum’s arms and be, like, Can we just stay in tonight? You, me, a six-pack of beer and some potato chips?
I dressed in Mum’s old white baby-doll dress, my hands shaking as I pressed pale foundation to my damp skin, and lined my eyes with black khol.
‘You look like a doll.’ Mum startled me, appearing over my shoulder in my full-length mirror. ‘With that pale skin and red lipstick. Pretty.’
I spun around to face her.
Mum wore a shiny dress with fabric that swirled with peacock colours, like an oil spill. She looked at me with so much pride and so much kindness that I almost broke down and told her everything—the packed bag stashed at the top of my wardrobe, the midnight bus, Lukey, Melbourne. But I hadn’t seen her so happy in so long, as excited to be going to this dinner party as a primary school kid going to their first disco.
‘You look beautiful, Mum.’ I swallowed.
‘You reckon?’ Mum was chuffed, too flustered to notice that I was nearly in tears. She tugged at her bra straps and hoisted her stomach-holding-in pants up under her breasts. ‘Yeah, I scrub up alright! We both do.’
We stood side by side in front of the mirror, me looking at Mum, and Mum looking at herself, adjusting and readjusting. I couldn’t meet her eyes.
THIRTY-ONE
Mum convinced me to help her carry the plates of food and bags of wine and booze and chocolates over to Dana and Joan’s house. She’d gone overboard at Woolies, buying cheeses and nuts and all sorts of shit. I was kind of embarrassed by it. It was sweet that she wanted to impress her new friends, but she was going totally OTT. Trying to tell my mum to settle down and play it cool when she’s all worked up is like trying to nail mashed potatoes to a tree.
Laura answered the door.
‘Hi,’ she said, all sad-sack. ‘Come in.’
Mum went straight through to the back of the house to find Dana and Joan, leaving me with Laura.
‘I’m not staying,’ I told her, handing over a bag of groceries. ‘There’s a party on at Casey’s. You coming?’
Laura snorted. ‘Ha. No way. I don’t think I’d be welcome.’
Laura played with the hem of her pink candy-striped, black-lace-trimmed dress. I felt a little stab of jealousy. She always looked so cute, with the ultra-feminine dresses and the diamonte-pierced dimples sparkling below those black frames. Even though I was wearing a dress, too, I felt gangly and awkward next to her. All elbows and knees. My hand flew to my lips; I was thinking about my square, wide front teeth, too big for my mouth.
‘So, what are you gunna do, then?’
‘Watch telly, I guess. I dunno.’
‘Okay, then, well . . . See ya.’
‘See ya.’
But as Laura went to shut the door I found myself quickly sticking my hand out to stop her.
‘I reckon you should come to the party,’ I said. ‘Beats watching telly.’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘C’mon!’ I urged her. ‘It’s New Year’s. You can’t hang out with a bunch of old ladies!’
‘I’m just going to watch Foxtel.’
‘You should come to the party. Definitely.’
‘You think so? I don’t think Casey likes me.’
‘Probably not. But I want you to come. Lukey would want you there, too.’
‘Will Lukey be there?’
‘Yeah. Pretty sure he’s keen.’
‘Have you been hooking up with Lukey?’
‘Oh . . . yeah. We kind of have been.’
‘I didn’t know for sure, but I hadn’t heard from him since before Christmas, so . . .’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said again. ‘I didn’t know it was gunna happen. I didn’t even realise I liked him. After years of being mates . . . I dunno. It just kind of happened.’
Laura nodded. ‘That’s cool. I wasn’t heaps into him anyway. Well, maybe a bit. But I’ll get over it.’
I nodded back at her, seeing her in a totally different light. She was cool. Very cool. If the situation had been reversed and she’d moved on a guy I’d been seeing, I reckon I would have totally cut sick. Even though she was one of those chicks who I considered a ‘girly girl’, all into frilly dresses and painting her nails, I reckon she had my back like a proper mate.
‘Actually . . . we’re going to leave tonight,’ I confessed to her. ‘Him and me. We’re going to Melbourne.’
‘Wow!’ Laura’s eyes widened.
‘I know.’
‘I’m glad stuff’s worked out. And I’m really sorry about what happened. I mean, between me and him.’
‘Look, it’s not your fault, Laura,’ I said. ‘I know that now. I was a bitch to you and I’m sorry. Come to this party, okay?’
‘Really?’ Laura looked relieved. ‘You really want me to come?’
‘I reckon you should.’ I nodded. ‘Casey will be okay.’
‘Thanks, Jez.’ Laura leaned forward and squeezed my arm. ‘I’ll just go get my purse.’
Laura came back with her bag, yelling goodbyes over her shoulder.
‘Ready?’ I felt another big rush of adrenaline shoot up through my torso.
‘Ready. You know, I think I might even miss you when you leave.’
Weird as it was, I felt like I might miss Laura, too.
When we got to Casey’s the yard was already full of kids, drinking, smoking and standing around in bunches. The girls were in short, glittery dresses, miniskirts, short shorts and heels, the guys were shiny and showered, with gelled hair and bright t-shirts. Most of the crowd was sitting and standing around on the paved patio just outside the kitchen where dance music pumped from portable speakers hooked up to an MP3. There were fairy lights strung from the big old pine and they lit the ceramic garden animals. It was almost trippy. I wished I had some acid.
Up the back of the yard, on the lawn near Cash’s tent stood Cash, Stu and Jeremy, beers in hand.
‘Jeeez!’ Casey clocked me and rushed over, clawing at my elbow with her ridiculously long acrylic nails. ‘Oh, my God. I need to talk to you.’ She ignored Laura and pulled me back into the kitchen.
‘What? Sorry I didn’t come help set up, I had to go with Mum to —’
‘Forget that!’ Casey waved her hand. ‘Cash set up for me. You gotta help me get more people here!’
‘There’s gotta be, like, twenty, thirty people here already.’
‘I know! Total fucking disaster. It’s, like . . . nearly eight o’clock. Why are you so late? And why’d you bring her?’
‘I told you, I was helping my mum.’
‘Yeah, right.’ She arched an eyebrow at me accusingly. ‘Well, I’ve been on the phone to Lee and she reckons heaps of people are going to the city. I can’t believe it. I’m so tempted to go and just ditch my own party.’
‘Don’t go! I can’t afford the city. I think Lukey’s coming later.’
Casey perked up a bit. ‘Really? Ring some people, Jez! What about Martin? What’s he doing?’ She fiddled with the rings on her fingers.
‘I guess I could ring Martin . . .’
‘Do it! We need some guys. It’s like a fucking fanny factory out there.’ Casey jerked her thumb towards the backyard.
‘I saw a bunch of guys.’
‘Nobody worth hooking up with. If I don’t get a decent root soon, my hole is going to close over.’
‘What about Stu? You thought he was hot two weeks ago.’
‘Been there, climbed that mountain. And it was no mountain. I’ve gotten more pleasure from inserting a tampon. Hey, you got any gum?’
‘Are you on something, Case? Seriously, you’re more mental than usual.’
Casey’s mouth stretched into a smile. With her back to the light in the kitchen, little black shadows cast over her eye sockets. ‘Dexies,’ she told me. ‘You want?’
‘Nah,’ I said.
I felt like if my heart pumped any faster it would squeeze its way up my throat and out of my mouth.
‘In a sec.’ Casey stamped her foot impatiently. ‘I’ve been a little busy here trying to organise my party, so I’m going to have a slash and freshen up. You get onto those calls, okay?’
‘Right.’ I pulled my mobile out of my pocket and pretended to type in a number until Casey left the room, then stuck it back in my jeans. I didn’t have any credit on my phone anyway.
‘Jez, hey.’ Cash wandered into the kitchen and stuck his head into the fridge. ‘Beer?’
‘Fuck yeah.’ I accepted the beer he held out for me and cracked it open. ‘How’ve you been?’
‘Not bad. You? Haven’t seen you since Christmas. Things were a bit hectic over at your place. Awesome dress, by the way.’
‘Thanks.’ I gave my little baby-doll dress a bit of a shake. ‘It was my mum’s. When she was younger, obviously.’
Cash smiled. ‘Your mum’s alright, hey.’
‘Yeah, sorry about running off like that on Christmas —’
‘Nah, I’m sorry,’ Cash interrupted, touching my shoulder. ‘You must think I’m a huge prick, huh? It’s just I got to thinking . . . about how you’re real young and stuff.’
‘It didn’t seem to bother you that night in the tent.’
Cash raised his eyebrows and laughed, then shook his head. ‘Yeah, well. You got me there. It’s just that after Casey told me how much you liked me . . .’
‘Casey told you?’
‘Well, yeah.’
‘Look,’ I said. ‘It’s okay. You don’t have to feel sorry or whatever. I’m not some dumb kid who’s in love with you if that’s what you think. You’re not that cool.’
‘Oh, gee, thanks.’
‘You know what I mean.’ I grinned. ‘It was fun. I like you.’
‘Even though I’m not cool? Even though I’m just an old prick?’
‘Don’t fish for compliments. You know you’re good-looking.’
‘So,’ Cash said casually after a pause. ‘I think I’m hitting the road tomorrow, if I’m not too hung-over.’
‘Yeah? Looks like everyone’s leaving, then.’
‘Who else?’
Snake Bite Page 20
