Supernatural Dating Agency - The Complete Collection (Books 1-6)

by Andie M. Long

  That’s when the devil did as I’d expected. He shot fire at my father, who took on an icy tomb and remained unaffected. “Whilst ever I’m in Wyvernsea, I am stronger than you and the gods. It was only the fact you took me by surprise in human form, transporting me to hell before I realised what was happening, that resulted in my imprisonment. Now, thanks to you I’m back, my wife is coming back too, and we can be with our daughter.

  “Yet, the prophecy isn’t going to come true, boo-hoo,” said Satan. “She made a deal not to marry the vampire.”

  “I didn’t,” I said.

  He turned to me and his look chilled me to the bone. “You made a deal,” he snarled.

  “Yes, not to marry him,” I said, pointing to Theo. “Or to have his babies.”

  “Is there something I’m not understanding?” spat Satan.

  “Yes,” I said, and the glamour fell away, revealing that Theo was in fact Frankie.

  “Well, hello again,” said Frankie. “Good job I knew all about Theo and you lot from our card games. The only thing I struggled with was his car. He really needs something more modern.”

  In a fury, the devil struck out and smite him. I watched as my friend and mentor fell to the floor, his body charred. Croaks of pain fell from his lips.

  “Frankie, no!” I leapt to his side, placing my hands on his skin and imagined healing him, but all I felt was his terrible pain. I held his hand as my magic pulled away.

  “It’s okay,” he told me. “Ebony said this would happen. That I would sacrifice my life but it would be for the greater good.” He coughed. “Listen, tell Kim she was a great shag,” he tried to laugh but coughed in earnest. “She wasn’t meant for me,” he said, and with one final scream of pain, his head fell to the side.

  My own rage leapt to the surface. As I turned, my dad grasped hold of my hand. “Get ready, I’m passing on your legacy.” An icy sensation surged through my body. My legs formed a lizard-like skin and I grew wings.

  “You have all the powers but because you’re half-witch, your appearance should be kinder,” my dad said, and kissed my cheek.

  Satan grabbed Lucy. “I agreed she could stay in Withernsea but I don’t remember stating she had to be alive, if we’re being persnickety.” He tilted his head. “Say bye, Lucy.”

  I shot out a sluice of icy water from my hand. It covered Satan and froze him in place. Lucy dropped to the floor, and I pulled her behind me. Heat burned through my ice until Satan stood there once more.

  “Well. It would appear that for now I shall have to return home. But I’ll be working on things while I’m down there. At least my supes will remain miserable now you can’t arrange their dates.”

  “I can’t,” I told him. “But Kim can, and seeing as I’ll be getting married and having wyvern/witch/vampire crossbreed babies, I think I’ll probably be quite busy anyway. See yourself out.”

  Satan turned to Lucy. “I’m not removing your horns, and having spent so much time in hell some of it will still be within you. See if you can find love with those on your head.”

  He vanished, leaving a trail of fire that didn’t touch us but burned through Theo’s apartment, reducing everything he owned to ash.

  I crouched down next to Frankie’s body, and I cried and cried and cried.

  “How did you and Frankie do that? I didn’t see you swap?” said Lucy.

  “We did it when you bought your gingerbread,” I told her. “Frankie, Theo, Kim, and me had already worked it out as a potential back up plan. It made more sense for me to attend with Frankie who could do magic, coax out my powers or tell me spells if needed, than with my boyfriend. I’m sorry we couldn’t tell you, but you kind of can’t be trusted.”

  “I understand. But I hope now I’m out of Hell and away from Satan’s instructions we can try to be civil,” Lucy said. “I’m going to go now. Your mother will no doubt appear at any moment and like I said, I’m sick of seeing your father’s face.” She sliced her arm through the air and then turned to me. “Forgot I can’t do that anymore. Looks like I’m walking. Time to find somewhere to stay.” With that she walked out of the room.

  Theo arrived with Kim shortly afterwards. He looked around his burned-out apartment. “Kim’s been checked out at the hospital and she’s fine,” he said. “Looks like I need to find that sire of mine so I can move into the farm.”

  “I’m afraid Satan killed your sire years ago, so you’re not going to get that debt settled,” I told him. “And don’t even think about looking for your sire’s, sire’s, sire. The farms bought now. End of.”

  “Ugh. Well at least technically you bought it.” He harrumphed, then looked around. “Where’s Frankie? I’d like to thank him for protecting my future wife,” he said, and I began to sob. “He died.” I told him. “Saving my life.”

  “Died?” he said. “How long since the time of death?”

  “About thirty minutes,” I said. “What does it matter? I’ve lost my friend and what am I going to tell Kim?” Kim was currently standing next to Darius. They were doing the weird staring at each other thing again. He was filling her in on things and it was only a matter of time until he got to the part about Frankie.

  Theo leapt away from me and into the bedroom. I ran after him. He latched onto Frankie’s neck and began to suck.

  “You can’t do that! That’s disgusting. I know he’s dead and can’t feel it but for fuck’s sake, Theo, put him down, you sick bastard.”

  I dived into my handbag, pulled out a plastic Tupperware box and started throwing pieces of steak at him.

  Kim burst through the door. “He’s dead. Oh God, he’s dead.” She took one look at his charred body and ran back out heaving.

  Theo glared at me. “Can you stop throwing food at me – again? And we’ll be having a conversation about why you’re walking around with steak in your bag when we get home. I’m not draining him. We have a one-hour window for me to bring him back. He’ll be a vampire, and will have lost his magical powers on death, but he’ll be able to guide you. He just won’t be able to perform magic himself anymore. Do you think he’d want that? To be undead rather than not be here anymore?”

  “Yes,” said a female voice. My mother came through the doorway. “He’s a very dear friend and between us we’ll show him there’s a new path for him. Please, turn him.” Theo slit his wrist with a small knife he took from his pocket and let his blood fall into Frankie’s mouth. After the first few drops, Frankie’s body began to heal and his mouth fixed on Theo’s wrist, where he sucked like his life depended on it, which it totally did. After a few minutes, Theo pushed him away and licked the puncture marks to close the wound.

  “I’ll take him,” said my mother. “Myself and Dylan will take him to the caves until he has learned to master his new strength.” Theo nodded.

  “We will speak soon, daughter,” my mother said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “But for now, rest up and take care of your friend. It’s been quite an eventful evening.”

  I nodded, and she left.

  Theo and I walked out of the room and back to Kim. Darius was with her in the bathroom. She crouched over the toilet, looking pale and wan.

  “I can’t believe he died.”

  “He didn’t,” I told her.

  “You mean that overcooked chip is still alive?” she asked, her eyes wide. “That’s even worse. No amount of Extreme Makeover can fix that.”

  “He’s back to looking like himself, although much, much paler. Theo turned him and saved his life.”

  “He’s not dead?” she asked.

  “Err, yeah, he’s pretty dead, well, pretty undead.”

  “Oh,” she said. “Well I don’t think I can date him anymore because I’ll keep seeing Chargrilled Charlie.” She vomited again.

  “I’ll get you some water and then we need to all go to my house.” I looked around the burned-out shell. “I don’t know what these devils have against soft furnishings.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Shelle
y

  It took a few days for us all to come to terms with the effects of Halloween. Kim was being monitored by a doctor at the local hospital who specialised in supernatural cases. I’d met him and he was both human and fantastic looking but Kim had no interest.

  “I need time out from dating,” she told me as we sat in Jax’s waiting for the other businesswomen to join us. “In the last couple of weeks, I’ve learned Withernsea is full of supernaturals, had a near-death experience, and a boyfriend who went from wizard to fledgling vampire and is currently locked away for his own safekeeping.”

  “They have to do that when they’re new or they do what Theo did.”

  She sighed. “I know. He’s called me you know. He says it’s changed him, and although he remembers who he was, it’s not who he is now. But we’re going to try to be friends when he eventually comes out.”

  “It’s a shame. I can highly recommend having a vampire boyfriend.”

  “I’ve already told you that she’s destined for the shifter,” Ebony’s voice came from behind us. “But not for a while.” She stroked Kim’s face. “You look pale. You must rest, and in the meantime, my cosmetics are fully stocked up so you can look less wan. I’ll put a compact to one side for you.”

  “Seriously? I’ll be okay?” Kim asked.

  “Yes. Well, there might be a few little hiccups in your path but it’ll work out.”

  “What hiccups?” yelled Kim. “Like being half drained to death?”

  “I’ll just get my coffee ordered,” Ebony said, walking towards Jax.

  “I’m going off her,” Kim said.

  “Well, I need to talk to you. You know my deal with Satan. I agreed to not run the Supernatural Dating Agency.”

  “I know. What’s going to happen now? I’m no use at anything else. Do you think the new owners will keep me on?”

  “You’re such a dumb cow sometimes. You’re going to run it – if you’re willing of course. I’ll do the humans and you do the supes. If there’s any crossover you’ll have to manage it. I’m bound by my pact, I can’t match make.”

  “Does that mean a pay rise?” she asked, smiling and winking.

  “Yes, it does, and longer, less flexible hours.”

  “That’s fine. I’m going to be a workaholic instead of a sexaholic.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  Jax and Ebony joined the table, shortly followed by Samara from the groomers and finally Lucy.

  “Everyone, this is Lucy,” I introduced her.

  “Hi again. Cute headband,” said Jax.

  “I said that too,” said Samara.

  “It’s a great signature look,” added Ebony. “They’re from my boutique.” She winked at Lucy whose floral headband was styled to cover up the two small protrusions that remained on her head.

  “So, Lucy was just telling me she opened a steakhouse near the promenade,” said Samara.

  “Yes.” Lucy nodded. “Barbecue is my speciality.”

  I went into my bag and brought out some cards. “You’re all invited,” I told them.

  Kim shrieked. “You’re getting married?! How did he propose? Tell us all.”

  “Well,” I said. “It was Thursday evening and Theo and I were in the bedroom. We’d decided that cuddling each other made us feel much better after recent events and then well, anyway…”

  “Is there a point to this or are you showing off that you’re having sex?” sniped Lucy.

  “Anyway, afterwards we lay in each other’s arms and I realised that after everything that had happened, I didn’t want to wait. Also, I apologised for jumping to conclusions several times, and well, everything was just, at that moment, perfect.” I sighed. “Then we both said it, at the same time. ‘Will you marry me’, and then we both said ‘yes’ at exactly the same time.” I beamed. “Then we totally had a ton of hot sex again and yes I’m saying that to rub it in your face, biatch,” I told Lucy.

  “You realise you have to get me a date, don’t you?” she said to Kim.

  “That’ll be a devil of a date,” quipped Kim. “On your application we’ll have to put something like raging PMT. No, PHT. Post-Hell tension.”

  Lucy sneered at her. “I throw out chips that resemble your last date,” she bitched. “How is Frank-en-fried, anyway?”

  “Still in training.” I said, “and anyway, back to me.” I pointed to the invites. We’re getting married at the farm – on Monday.”

  “Monday?” Kim said. “That’s a bit soon.”

  “Well, the guy agreed to move out super-fast,” I said, failing to mention that it was because he thought Simon Cowell wanted to move in and he got a photo and an autograph for his helpfulness. “Also, we already have the fireworks on Sunday in the park and I don’t want to detract from that. So, Monday it is, for an extra firework party.”

  Then the Female Entrepreneurs who do it with their Colleagues talked about plans for the new year.

  “I can’t wait to become Mrs Landry,” I told Theo. “And I can’t believe that I actually have a father to give me away.” I’d met up with my parents a couple of times. Although we’d clicked, we were taking it slow. Plus, they’d not seen each other for twenty-six years, so I was keeping well away from their house. My mother had promised to keep teaching me magic and my father to tell me more about being a wyvern. He’d told me that I shared responsibility in keeping ‘Wyvernsea’ a thriving community.

  “And after we have our baby and you’re ready, I’ll turn you into my vampire wife as well as my wedded wife,” Theo said. I had to admit I was nervous about the whole undead, live for hundreds of years thing, but there was no immediate rush.

  “Well the fireworks have arrived.” Theo said. “So, all we need now is for the day to arrive.”

  “In the meantime, I do believe fireworks have started right here in my panties.” I told my fiancé. “Fancy a bang?”

  Of course, our wedding took place on an evening. We stood in the grounds of our farmhouse, surrounded by family and friends. Even my adoptive parents had attended, along with Polly. Theo and I had decided we preferred to get married on our own land than in a church. I was kept warm by patio heaters and the bonfire. It was alright for my husband, being undead, he didn’t feel the cold.

  My husband. Gosh it seemed strange to say those words.

  But now the last of the guests were leaving, mainly because my best friend was telling everyone that they’d stayed long enough and they needed to fuck off. I don’t know who had the worst attitude-her or Lucy.

  Speaking of Lucy, I stood in the doorway of my home unseen as she wandered down the driveway towards her taxi. I watched as she flicked her thumb and a flame shot out. She could still shoot fire.

  But that was something to think about another day. Right now, it was time for my husband-there was that word again-to carry me over the threshold of our new home, and take me to bed.

  “Are you ready, Mrs Landry?” he asked me.

  “Yes, Mr Landry. Very ready.”

  He picked me up, white gown and all, without effort and escorted me over the threshold, placing me down in the hallway. I’d been in close proximity to his body while he carried me and I was ready to be a whole lot closer.

  “Welcome home,” a wavering voice came from our left.

  I turned around and my jaw dropped. There in front of me was the hazy outline of a woman.

  “Mum?” said Theo. “Is that you?”

  THE END

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  A DEVIL OF A DATE

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  A Devil of a Date

  Chapter One

  Lucy

  Leaving Hell, was, well, hell on earth.

  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I was glad to be free of the furnace and back to Withernsea. It’s just that - everything had changed.

  I’d watched an episode of Eastender
s - Phil Mitchell was now old.

  Nerds had become cool with Big Bang Theory and the IT Crowd.

  Stars in their eyes wasn’t on anymore.

  I was going to need counselling.

  I’d kept up with certain things in Hell. We had computers though the internet was limited to what Satan felt we needed to know, and that wasn’t the latest on Kylie and Jason (who’d just released Especially for You when I was kidnapped). Fashion was easy to keep up with as the new residents came fully dressed and I gained an envied designer wardrobe from the many rich wives who’d killed their cheating husbands. That’s how my love of Louboutins had started.

  But television. This was all new to me.

  When I’d left earth, Grant and Phil Mitchell had just joined Eastenders, my favourite soap opera. I needed to watch twenty seven years of episodes to get caught up. Seeing as that was impossible, instead I was trying to read episode guides on the fan wikis I’d discovered on the net, but that was taking a long time.

  I’d spent the best part of two months when I wasn’t working, sat in front of the television while my roommate was at work or sleeping, trying to work out why the latest craze was to watch people living their romantic lives on the television.

  When I’d left, Doctor Who had just been pulled off the television due to poor ratings. Now it had been back on for years and I’d missed this Tennant bloke. The sexiest doctor ever. I’d lost a week out of my new life catching up on him alone.