Supernatural Dating Agency - The Complete Collection (Books 1-6)

by Andie M. Long

  My mother had a point. I was being a mardy arse, wasn’t I? I took the pen off her and scratched a couple of things off the list.

  Marry the vampire.

  Discover the ghost of your vampire husband’s mother lives in your new home.

  Have to defeat Satan.

  Find out you’re pregnant.

  Vampire husband decides this is a good time to redecorate and turn the farm into a Bed and Breakfast.

  “’Discover the ghost of your vampire husband’s mother lives in your new home’. Well, a lot of women have the mother-in-law from hell, yours is just floating around earth, be thankful. You’ve a permanent babysitter on hand, and she can help with the bed and breakfast.”

  “I don’t think seeing a ghost is going to help business much.”

  “Shelley, make it supernaturals only. It won’t hurt to suggest to human enquirers that you’re full. I know Theo’s excited about his new business venture and it must be difficult for him to get his teeth into something that excites him after 127 years on earth. Gosh, that came out wrong didn’t it?” She said as we both burst into guffaws of laughter.

  “Aw thanks, Mum. I’ve been ruminating about things that are in the past and things in the future that are beyond my control. Not only have you helped me with that, but you even sorted my coffee and doughnut problem. I love you, Mum. You’re amazing.” It was the first time I’d said the words to her since I’d found out who she was and had started the process of getting to know her. I watched as my mum’s face crumpled and she began to sob. “I’m so sorry I had to leave you, Shelley. It was the biggest mistake of my life and I suffered every day.”

  “It’s in the past, Mum. Let’s just enjoy the here and now, shall we? That’s what I’m going to do from now on.” I said, and then we heard the coffee shop door burst open and a voice screamed, “We’re all doomed.”

  Chapter Seven

  Shelley

  My jaw dropped open as Ebony almost fell through the doorway before she practically bounced off the nearest table. My mum and I ran towards her holding a side of her each and steered her to our table where I made another chair subtly appear and plopped her onto it. This chair had arms so she couldn’t fall off, given that she was rip-roaringly drunk.

  “Ebony, how much vodka have you had?” I whisper-hissed.

  “I don’t remember. I don’t remember anything.” Her eyes went wide. “I got to the boutique this morning for eight, and then it’s all blank, and my visions have stopped.”

  “Well, duh, isn’t that why you have all the vodka?”

  Her hands flailed around her face. “I drink to lessen them but they’ve gone. My mama always said if they went then that meant major evil was around. I can’t protect people right now with no visions. What if you all die?”

  Ebony then headbutted the table as she passed clean out.

  Jax came running over. My mute spell had dropped the minute I’d started talking to Ebony, and I was more than aware of the gossip and stares happening around us. I picked up my mobile phone.

  “Kim? Stop tidying, we have an emergency at Jax’s. No, the coffee hasn’t run out. It’s Ebony, there’s something wrong with her. Can you or Lucy mind her boutique? Lock the office up and get down here will you, quick as you can?”

  I carefully lifted my friend’s head up to make sure she was just passed out and hadn’t broken her nose or anything, on her face’s date with the table top.

  “Can you get some really strong coffee for her, Jax?”

  “Sure, coming right up.” Jax went over to some customers seated on a sofa. After she’d talked to them they got up and came over to us, a look of concern on their faces.

  “We’re gonna help you move your friend over to the sofa so she can lie down with her feet up.” One of them said. “Then we’ll have your table.”

  “Thanks so much,” I said, and I went to help move Ebony.

  “Hold it right there! You shouldn’t lift anything in your condition.” Yelled my gobshite best friend from the doorway. She then realised she’d announced my unannounced pregnancy to half the female population of Withernsea. “With your bad back.” She shouted louder. “The doctor said you weren’t to move anything with your BAD BACK.”

  “If only I had Ebony’s foresight I could mute your damn mouth.” I said to Kim as she came over. At least she went to the gym and so was good at helping move the dead weight of our friend.

  Finally after some huffing and puffing Ebony was laid on the sofa with her feet elevated above her head. She was starting to come around and started groaning. On my mother’s advice we murmured a spell suggesting that the other customers in the cafe had had enough coffee and cake and they gathered their coats and left.

  “Oh dear, Ebony’s drama has scared off my customers. I hope they come back.” Jax said, unaware that anyone in Withernsea had supernatural powers.

  “I’m sure they’ll be back soon. At least it gives you a chance to get cleared up and have a breather.”

  “Oh why am I thinking about my customers? It’s Ebony I should be worried about.” She shouted over to Seth. “While it’s quiet why don’t you take a break, Seth?”

  He removed his apron and came around from the back of the counter. “Is there anything I can do? I’m so sorry I couldn’t help move her but I was stuck behind the counter serving.” He looked around. “It’s so strange how everyone left like that. Can I help at all?”

  “We’re okay here, Seth. Thank you. Either get your break or if you could help by tidying up…” Jax said.

  “I’ll clear up.”

  “I’ll help you.” My mum told him.

  “Thanks, Margret.” Jax said. “Help yourself to anything from behind the counter.”

  “Is Seth included?” Kim smirked.

  “If you fancy a sandwich or a bun or anything.” Jax added.

  I took a baby wipe out of my bag and started wiping Ebony’s brow with it.

  “Aww, look at you, you’re already being all…”

  I glared at Kim.

  “Efficient.” She exhaled. “You are so, so, efficient.”

  Ebony continued to come around, and we gave her some sips of water and then strong coffee. I decided she wasn’t in a fit state to stay by herself back home. “Listen, we’re going to stay here for a while. Just here on the sofa and then when it gets to four o’clock I will call Theo and ask him to take us to mine.”

  Ebony started to protest.

  “No. You’re coming to our house and that’s that, until we work out you’re okay. We’ve loads of room. I’m not leaving you on your own until your visions are back. You can’t carry on like this anyway,” I said looking at her. “I’m going to ring the doctor.” I emphasised the word doctor so that Ebony knew I meant the one who helped supes.

  “Frankie.” Ebony said. “Frankie might be able to help me.”

  “Okay, we’ll call Frankie. Again, we’ll have to wait until later.” Frankie used to be a physician at the local hospital before he became a vampire so as long as we waited until he was awake he could well be able to help Ebony.

  I looked at my friend. To say she was dark skinned she looked pale. I was so used to her dramatic behaviour I’d never really stopped to think about what it was doing to her mental and physical health. There must be something I could do to help her live with her visions because from what I’d seen today if not they were going to slowly kill her.

  Theo had to use his car rather than whizz here by vampire super speed. Luckily we didn’t live too far away. Ebony had spent most of the afternoon sleeping. Theo walked in and picked her up like she weighed the same as a Barbie doll. “Subtle, husband, subtle.” I whispered knowing his vampire hearing would pick it up. He started to act like he was struggling with her weight. “Let’s get you to the car.” He said. Then he stood stock still and stared at Seth.

  “I don’t believe we’ve met.” He said, and no word of a lie while he was holding my friend he let one hand go and held his other out to Set
h. God help me.

  “Seth Whittaker.” Seth said, shaking his hand. “I’m the new barista.”

  “Oh, my wife didn’t mention there was a new barista. Good to meet you.” He said and then stared into Seth’s eyes. “You will never find my wife attractive, when you see her you will think of your grandmother naked.”

  “Theo!” I yelled.

  Seth was staring into space as the compelling took place. I knew as soon as it had worked because he glanced over to us and then heaved. Bloody insecure vampire husbands.

  “Let’s get out of here before someone gets hurt, and I mean you.” I yelled at Theo. He put his hand back on Ebony and pretended to struggle again.

  “Take that image out of Seth’s mind.” I mimed to my mum, who nodded. Otherwise poor Seth was going to be a basketcase.

  When we got back to the farm, Mary, Theo’s mother, greeted us. Mary was a ghost but could solidify while ever she could summon the energy. “Who have we here?” She said. “And I don’t think drugging people is the way to get boarders.”

  “It’s my friend Ebony. She’s not feeling well so I’ve brought her here so we can take care of her.”

  “Oh, the poor love. I’ll try to put the kettle on.” Mary bustled off.

  “Come on, Ebony, let’s get you settled on the sofa.” Theo helped me get her there and then I sent him to the kitchen to help his mum to make a lot of black coffee.

  Ebony looked up at me from the sofa. “I’m so sorry, Shelley, for causing all this trouble. I panicked when my visions went.”

  “It’s probably that you’re so tired, Ebs. I really do think we need to find a way other than vodka for you to deal. Now just lay back for a moment while I phone Frankie, okay?”

  She nodded, and I settled a couple of cushions underneath her head and neck and she closed her eyes again.

  “Frankie, I need your help.”

  “Anytime, lovely. What can I do for you?”

  “Can you come over to the farm? Ebony is having a lot of trouble handling her visions and now she says they’ve disappeared. She turned up to Jax’s so drunk she was knocking furniture over.”

  “Oh shit. And you say the visions have left her?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, babes. Give me some time to look into that and then I’ll come over. It could be late.”

  “That doesn’t matter.” Since I’d been drinking blood I’d found my body clock was changing, and I was going to bed and getting up later. It was giving me a taste of what would probably happen when I was turned.

  I ended the call and sighed. I hoped we could help her.

  “Wife. You need to rest now for an hour. It’s been a stressful afternoon for you. Ebony is asleep and mum is looking after her.” Theo grabbed my hand and pulled me in the direction of the stairs.

  “I’m wide awake. Theo, I don’t need a rest.” I complained.

  “Oh even better.” Theo said and still pulled on my hand.

  “I need to look after my friend.”

  Mary floated out into the hallway. “Love, go upstairs, because you know what men are like when they’ve got the horn on, can’t leave us alone until they’re spent. I’m okay here. Listen, I’ll make a ghostly wail outside your room if you’re needed. I need to practice it as when the Bed and Breakfast is open I’m going to start haunting the customers. Ghost sightings can bring in good trade.”

  I placed a hand on my temple. She was going to haunt the customers? It was definitely a good idea to stick with boarding supernaturals only or the incidences of death by heart attack at our establishment could be significantly higher than average amongst other b&bs in the area.

  She floated back off, and I looked at my husband. “So you have the horn, huh?”

  “I fear if I wasn’t already dead the need would kill me. It’s like my groin is trying to burst out like the creatures in that film Alien.”

  “Well, I guess you’d better take me upstairs then.”

  Theo wasn’t joking. He quickly stripped off his trousers and his cock sprung out like a jack in a box. After shedding the rest of his clothes at vamp speed he helped me out of the rest of mine.

  “I cannot wait to be sunk inside your depths.” He announced making the corner of my mouth turn up in amusement. Sometimes it took some getting used to that my husband was 127.

  He walked over to our chest of drawers and opening the top one pulled out a pair of handcuffs.

  “Theo! What are you up to, you filthy boy?”

  “I have been acquainting myself with that series all you women like, so lie on the bed. Now. Do as you’re told.”

  Hmmm, not quite sure ‘do as you’re told’ was the usual Dom command but my pussy went slick anyway at the thought of a little playtime so I climbed onto the bed.

  Theo climbed alongside me and leaning over he grabbed my wrist and clicked a cuff around it, fastening the other to a bedpost at the top of the bed.

  “I could only get one pair and I need to secure your other wrist. Ah, my tie.” He said, climbing off the bed and going through his discarded clothes. He restrained my other wrist and then sat at my feet.

  “Oh lovely wife. What shall I do to you now?” He winked.

  He licked, nibbled and kissed from my feet all the way up to near my core. His cool touch set my body to goose bump and by the time his cool tongue met my clit I was in a frenzy of need. “Oh my God, yes.”

  My back arched, and the chain rattled on one wrist while the tie tightened on the other.

  Theo continued to lick me and suck on me while his right hand travelled upwards to tease my nipples, which pebbled under his touch.

  “Please, Theo. I need you.” I was desperate to have him inside me.

  “If it wasn’t for our guest, I would keep you in here all evening. Alas, I suppose I should move things along.” He sighed, climbing up my body and rubbing along my slit with the tip of his hard dick. I spread my legs wider, and he pushed inside.

  “Ooohhh, yes, yes.”

  Theo pushed deeper, and I raised my hips matching him thrust for thrust. Being pregnant was making me even more horny than I usually was for my sexy husband. I hoped he was going to bite my neck because that made me come so hard I’d see stars. He nuzzled my neck, and I nuzzled him back.

  And as we came together, the bite was amazing. My pussy climaxed so hard around Theo’s cock I was surprised it didn’t cut off his circulation.

  Then Theo pushed me back away from him and withdrew feeling at his neck. A look of horror on his face.

  He pulled his hand away, and I saw blood on his fingertips. My vision travelled to his neck where I saw puncture wounds. My mouth felt funny and as I ran my tongue around it I felt the two protrusions.

  I had fangs?

  I. HAD. FANGS.

  I tried to feel my teeth with my hands but of course my arms were restrained.

  “Whath the fuck isth happening, Theo? Why do I haveth fangs?”

  “You bit me. You bit me!” Theo said. “How can you have fangs?”

  “Justh geth me outh these cuffths.” I was beginning to panic now.

  Theo undid the tie and then looked at the handcuffs and froze.

  “Whath?” I glared at him. “Whath up? Leth me go.”

  “Erm, when I borrowed the handcuffs, I forgot to get the keys.” Theo looked at the floor while biting on his lip. Then feeling blood running down his neck he licked his finger and ran it over the puncture wounds sealing them.

  “Then cuth them off or go backth to the shop.”

  “I didn’t get them from a shop. I kind of knew Darius wasn’t working and so I just ‘popped’ there for a second to borrow them.”

  “They’re Dariusth?”

  Theo looked sheepish.

  “Didth he know you borroweth them?”

  “I was going to take them straight back.”

  I tried to demonstrate my frustration by letting my head flop back against the pillows. Here I was, handcuffed to the bed by a were shifter policeman’s
handcuffs while I seemed to have grown fangs, and in the meantime there was a guest downstairs who needed my help.

  “Go geth them.” I screamed.

  Chapter Eight

  Kim

  Lucy was running Ebony’s shop until closing and that left me, Seth and Margret helping Jax to cope with the swarm of people who descended once Shelley and Theo had taken Ebony home. At closing time we were happy to swing the open/closed sign around and lock the door.

  “Jax, you’ll need some more staff at this rate.”

  “I know.” She stretched out her body and rolled her neck. “It’s killing me. I just don’t know what’s caused it.”

  “There’s probably been a mention in a magazine or on Twitter or something.” Seth suggested. “These things happen and go viral. It’ll settle down in a day or two, I'm sure.”

  “I wish I knew the future.” Jax sucked on her top lip. “If I knew it was going to stay busy I’d hire but I don’t want to do that if it might stop. Trust Ebony's visions to stop now. I could have asked her to read my palm.”

  “Well, I’m not going anywhere.” Seth said.

  “You’ve been amazing, but now go home.” She pushed him towards the door, or rather she tried to, but her five foot waif like frame versus his six foot muscular one meant he didn’t move. In fact if he hadn’t have been looking he probably would have thought a fly had landed on him.

  “Well, I’d better get back. Dylan will be wondering where I am.” Margret bid us goodbye and left.

  “I’m just going to ring and see how Ebony’s doing.” I told the other two.

  It rang a few times and then a faint voice came onto the line. “Helllooooo.”

  “Mary? It’s Kim. Is Shelley or Theo there?”

  “No, lovey, they’re in bed. Can I help you at all? You’ll have to be quick though I keep fading in and out.”

  I shook my head then realised she couldn’t see me.