Lost and Found

by David Horne

  We drove past a sign for Bakersfield on I-4, when I decided to go for it. We only had about two more hours in our car ride together. I was dying to know.

  “How do you know Arnie?” I asked casually.

  Harrison cleared his throat. “We met on set. I was a PA on a B horror movie.” He chuckled. “I wanted to see what working on a live action film would be like.” He shrugged his shoulders. “It was okay, but it definitely showed me that I like animation more.”

  “That’s pretty cool. Smart move to find out what you like early on in your career.” I paused and mustered more nonchalance into my voice. “Arnie and you kept in touch, though?”

  Harrison hesitated. “Arnie and I…” He scratched his ear. “Arnie and I have been loosely dating since then… Since we met.”

  I nodded, letting that sink in. Loosely dating? Well, that sucked for me.

  “How long have you two been loosely dating?”

  Harrison shrugged uncomfortably. “Four years.”

  “Wow. That’s a long time to be loosely dating.”

  Harrison’s voice was a tad biting. “Arnie isn’t into labels. I’m not going to be a nagging boyfriend.”

  “But are you his boyfriend?”

  “What are you saying?” Harrison looked irritated.

  “Nothing.” I shook my head. “It’s none of my business.”

  Harrison looked straight ahead. “It isn’t.”

  I felt bad for being so intrusive. It really wasn’t any of my business. I tried to soften Harrison’s stern looking face. “Look, I don’t know anything about relationships. Loose relationships, even.” I sighed, looking out the passenger window. “I’ve never really been in a relationship.”

  Harrison looked shocked. “Never?"

  I sighed, embarrassed. I was twenty-two years old and had never had a boyfriend. My parents had a terrible relationship of fighting and bickering when I grew up. Their preoccupation with their bickering fights meant that I, their only child, did not often receive the full emotional support I could have benefited from.

  As a result, I was emotionally stunted. At least, that’s what I’ve been told I was by several past guys in my life. From spending countless hours on my own as a kid, I learned to prefer isolation in general as an adult. People in my space, physical and emotional, unnerved me.

  Could you completely blame me? From what my parents demonstrated, it seemed that relationships were more trouble than they were worth. Every time I felt like I was getting closer to someone, I felt claustrophobic and would immediately bolt.

  Meaningless sex, though. Well, that was another thing.

  “I mean: I’m not a virgin if that’s what you’re asking,” I sputtered.

  Harrison scoffed. “No. A guy like you. I wouldn’t think…”

  “A guy like me? What kind of guy am I like?” I flipped down the sun visor to look at myself in the mirror. “Do I look easy or something?”

  He turned beet red. “I meant that…” He rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. “A guy like you… You know… a hot guy… like you.”

  It was my turn to blush. I closed the sun visor gently. “Oh. Thanks.”

  Harrison concentrated on driving and gave me an awkward side nod.

  I exhaled a long breath. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

  He laughed. “Thanks.” He changed lanes to pass a slow-moving Land Rover. “Do you ever want to be in a relationship? I mean, what’s stopping you?”

  I watched as he moved back into the right lane in front of the crawling SUV. “I don’t know what’s stopping me. I just am in this cycle of hooking up with guys randomly and nothing has ever panned out.”

  “There has got to be someone special in your life? That special guy who is a friend or a friend of a friend that you have some special spark with?” Harrison asked.

  I looked at Harrison’s side profile as he drove, admiring his strong chin. “No. There’s not really anyone.”

  Harrison brushed his bangs up to the side. “See that’s what I’m afraid of. Bopping along from guy to guy. I know what I have with Arnie is not perfect, but, at least, we have that special spark for each other. It wouldn’t have dragged on for four years if there was nothing really there.”

  I was unsure if he was trying to convince me or himself. I just nodded not saying anything. Just looking at the profile of his beautiful face.

  Chapter Three

  Harrison

  When we got to LA, I didn’t want my time with Sal to end. It was early evening, and I was starving anyway. My main intention was to eat. I couldn’t not ask Sal along. That would be rude.

  “Do you want to grab a bite to eat?” I asked expectantly.

  Sal agreed. “Food would be great. I’m famished.”

  “Cool. We are a few minutes away from Nick’s. It’s cheap, but awesome food.”

  Sal nodded in recognition. “I’ve been to Nick’s. Sounds good. Let’s go.”

  The walls of Nick’s Coffee Shop and Deli are covered in framed and signed photographs of celebrities. We sat in a booth in the back corner next to a photograph of Joe Jonas and a dollar bill signed by Liarde, the singer.

  I pointed at the wall and chuckled. “Would be cool to be on this wall one day.”

  Sal tilted his head up looking at the dozens of photographs lining the walls. “I don’t know. Might be weird.”

  I peered closer at a photo of the actor, Daniel Mayes. “How so?”

  He shrugged. “What I like about being a writer is that no one knows who I am. I think about how annoying it must be to be famous and have people come up to you all the time.”

  I sat back in the booth. “I don’t know. It might be cool.”

  Our waitress, a girl with gorgeous tattoo sleeves snaking up both her arms, came up with our food. She placed a scrumptious plate of eggs and spam in front of me. “Spam, eggs and rice for you.”

  “Looks awesome! Thanks!” I said rubbing my hands together, ready to dig in.

  She placed a sandwich with fries in front of Sal. “Pastrami sandwich for you.”

  He looked up at her with a smile. “Thank you.”

  We dug into our food with gusto. Sal ate his food in silence, occasionally glancing up at the wall to look at one of the photographs. He looked at me from across the table and said thoughtfully, “I had a really nice time today. Thanks for letting me ride with you.”

  “Of course!” I looked down at my spam and eggs. “I had a great time, too.” Sal was an awesome guy. Even though somehow our fun, cheery conversation about hilarious animated shows turned into an examination of my relationship with Arnie, I’d had a ball hanging out with him. He had a great sense of humor.

  He sipped his water. “I was thinking, maybe since we both live here now, we could…”

  Suddenly, we were interrupted by my phone that was lying face up on the table. We both saw that it was Arnie. I hesitated to answer it.

  Sal pointed at the phone. “Are you going to answer it?”

  I looked at Sal’s face. “No. That would be rude. We’re eating, and you were saying?”

  He shook his head, realizing the moment was gone. “Nah. Answer it. See what Arnie is up to.”

  I grabbed the phone off the table. “Hey.”

  “Hey, babe! You here?” Arnie’s voice boomed.

  “Yup. Sal and I are having dinner.” I smiled at Sal, who smiled back apprehensively.

  Arnie faked disappointed. “Boo! You didn’t invite me?”

  “I thought you’d be at work,” I explained.

  “Just got off. I’ll come meet you guys. Where are you?” He sounded like he was already in his car.

  I watched as Sal ran his eyes over the photographs on the wall, trying not to eavesdrop, but obviously finding it impossible not to.

  “We’re at Nicks,” I said with a tight voice, trying to convey an apology to Sal, but he wasn’t looking at me.

  “Got it! See you soon. Can’t wait to see you!” Arnie said in a rushed voice
.

  “Oh, but we’re almost finished anyway,” I stammered. It would just be weird to have Arnie here at that moment.

  Arnie said quickly, “I’ll be there in 15.” He hung up.

  I got off the phone and smiled. “Arnie is on his way.”

  Sal nodded his head. “Oh cool! Would be great to see him” He went back to eating his sandwich.

  I cleared my throat and said casually. “What were you saying? You know, right before I got on the phone?”

  Sal looked up, his eyebrows suspended in surprise. “Oh!” He shook his head. “You know I can’t remember.” He smiled glumly.

  He pointed at a photograph of Aaron Torkin. “I guess I was wrong. Screenwriters can be famous these days.”

  I looked at the photo of the accomplished screenwriter and recently turned director. “Yeah. He’s a director now. I’m excited to see “Molly’s Game” and see his directorial chops. I loved “West Wing” and “The Newsroom.””

  Sal nodded. “Social Enterprise is my favorite of his.”

  “You think you’ll ever get into directing?” I asked.

  Sal scoffed. “Me? No. I prefer just writing. Directors have to deal with people.” He shook his head. “That’s not my thing.”

  “Oh well. You never know what might happen,” I said with a smile.

  Sal’s brown eyes met mine. “That’s true. Anything can happen.” He held up his water glass.

  I grabbed mine with a laugh. “To anything can happen!”

  We clinked water glasses. Just then, I saw Sal’s face slightly cringe, but smile half-heartedly after a few beats. He sat facing the door. I turned to look. It was Arnie smiling broadly walking toward our booth.

  Arnie looked sexy as always. He had on a white long sleeve shirt that clung to his muscular physique. His hair was down. As he strode up to the table, his blond hair flew behind him. I pushed over making room for him to have a seat.

  He sat down next to me and put an arm around me. “So happy you’re here!” He extended a hand to Sal. “Both of you!”

  Sal took his hand. “It’s great to be out here, man. Finally! Get Barb off my back, you know?”

  Arnie snagged a fry off of Sal’s plate and wagged it at him. “That Barb is going to whip you into shape, son.”

  “Who is Barb?” I asked.

  “My agent,” Sal said. “She is an amazing woman. She’s pushed me so much in my career.”

  Arnie reached over the table and gave Sal a playful push on the shoulder. “A little push in the right direction is good!” Arnie looked at our plates. “Looks like you guys are done?” He put a hand on my knee and squeezed. “You want to get out of here?”

  I gestured at Sal. “What about you? I can drop you off?” Sal shook his head. “Nah. I’ll take an Uber. You kids have fun.”

  Leaving Sal there by himself at the diner, felt awkward. Arnie’s hand grabbed mine. “Awesome. Let’s go.”

  I slipped my hand away from him. “I’ve got to pay the waitress.”

  Sal shooed us away. “No. I’ve got it. It’s my thank you for driving me down.”

  Arnie winked at Sal. “This guy!”

  I stammered. “Are you sure?” I felt rushed to go, but I didn’t want to.

  “Yeah. Have fun!” Sal said looking at us.

  Arnie stood, looking ready to sprint out of there. I stood and extended my hand to Sal. “It was awesome.”

  He laughed. “It was awesome.”

  I wanted to say more, but Arnie pulled my arm. He waved at Sal. “Hey, man! Give me a call later this week.”

  Sal nodded. “Will do!”

  Back at Arnie’s place, he was immediately all over me when we walked in. His hands groped me and quickly pulled off all my clothes. I tried to get into it, but I kept thinking about Sal.

  I felt like an asshole, just leaving him in the diner like that. I should have driven him home, at least.

  “I want you so bad,” Arnie said as he kissed my mouth.

  He pushed me down on the couch. His hand gripped my cock firmly, stroking me until I was rock hard. I closed my eyes, enjoying Arnie caress my balls with his other hand. His mouth enveloped my cock as I moaned out in pleasure. He curled his lips around my shaft tightly.

  Arnie stood and undid his jeans. He rubbed his mammoth cock around my mouth. I stuck my tongue out licking the tip. He laughed. “I love your beautiful mouth.” He shoved his dick hard into my mouth. I gagged a bit from the force. Arnie let out a long low moan.

  “Oh fuck! I missed your mouth, baby.”

  I looked up at him, smiling down at me with desire in his eyes. This was my Arnie. This was our fresh start. I couldn’t ruin it because of an instant crush I had on a guy I hardly knew.

  Sal was great, but obviously, off limits. Plus, he seemed to not even want to be in a relationship. I wanted a boyfriend. Arnie was mine.

  I sucked Arnie’s dick harder and threw it further down my throat. Arnie grunted in delight. With my other hand, I gripped my hard cock that was still slick with spit from Arnie’s mouth. I stroked myself while sucking harder and harder on Arnie’s beautiful thick cock.

  “I love watching you jack off,” Arnie said pushing my bangs out of my face. I looked up at him as I ran a tongue along the ridge of his head.

  “I love when you watch me.” I could feel a tingle radiating up my dick. I really did love when Arnie watched me. It made me feel so sexy.

  He bit his lip. “I’m going to cum.”

  I sucked even harder as Arnie thrust in and out of my mouth. “I’m going to cum!” Arnie said again before his hot cum burst into my mouth. The taste of his salty semen turned me on.

  “I want you to cum!” Arnie said as I stroked myself. “Cum!”

  I closed my eyes feeling the tingle spread throughout me. Arnie bent down as I shot my cum into his mouth. “That’s right. Give it to me,” he said with his mouth wide open.

  He kissed me. “You taste so good. I’m so glad you’re here,” he said. He pulled up his jeans and then made his way into the kitchen.

  “You wanna beer or something?” he called out.

  “Sure,” I said.

  On the floor, underneath the coffee table, a red wrapper caught my eye. I picked it up. It was a condom wrapper.

  “PBR, okay?” Arnie said from the kitchen.

  I threw the condom wrapper back under the coffee table. “Yeah. Sure,” I said softly trying not to think about other guys who had been on the couch with him.

  Arnie and I were starting fresh. That was all that mattered. The past was the past.

  Chapter Four

  Sal

  After Arnie and Harrison left the diner, I felt lonelier than I should have. I was reluctant to go immediately to the new apartment waiting for me, mostly because it meant, I’d be all alone in a new place.

  After I paid the waitress, I hit up a bar a block away. It was a hipster joint, Hartford and Brick, modeled after a ski lodge in the forties. Vintage lights and dark wooden paneling gave the place a dusty retro vibe.

  I was definitely the most uncool person in the place. Guys had suspenders on with bow ties. Girls were dressed as Rosie the Riveter contemporaries. My J Crew uniform aged me, but I didn’t much care at that point. Los Angeles was full of wannabes and people trying too hard to be hip. I was completely satisfied being labeled as not trying at all.

  I ordered one of the specialty drinks, Dim Star, a concoction made of ruby port, blackstrap, Cynar, strawberry cordial, and lemon absinthe. The bartender had pinup hair swooped up at the sides.

  She pushed the dark burgundy drink to me with a smile. “This is going to flip your wig.”

  Hartford and Brick really was a step into a time machine. I wondered if the bartenders were instructed to talk in specific forties lingo. I took a sip of my Dim Star, noticing it had a bite to it followed by a citrusy undertone. It was strong but delicious. Something I craved right now.

  Sitting at the bar alone, I wondered if sitting at home in my new apartme
nt would be just as bad. My mind kept wandering to Harrison and Arnie, who were, no doubt, in the throes of passion.

  Arnie was a longtime friend of mine. It wasn’t my place to tell Harrison about his extracurricular dating activities, especially if Harrison knew about them anyway.

  Was it my place to tell Harrison that he deserved better? No. There was a viable chance that Arnie would change. People could change, right?

  Arnie running around on Harrison was awful. Harrison was a catch: smart, handsome, funny. He deserved better.

  Who was I to say so though?

  I drank my Dim Star, feeling confused and lonelier than ever. Hopping on Tinder, I yearned for some company. I’d heard the sage advice to never go shopping on an empty stomach. Likewise, I believed one shouldn’t get on Tinder when terribly lonely, but I was in dire straits and needed a distraction.

  My judgment was clouded from being on such a high hanging out with Harrison and then such an immediate damning low from seeing Harrison and Arnie together as a couple. Barely looking at the first profile that popped up, I swiped right. Hoping I would match with someone soon, I kept swiping right on profiles: David, Billy, Rodrigo, Greg, and William.

  There wasn’t much you could ascertain from a person’s Tinder profile. Most of the time, the photos were inaccurate representations of the person anyway. Why waste the time dissecting a Tinder profile?

  Besides, I only wanted something easy and quick to numb the dull ache I had for Harrison. There were no plausible reasons for feeling the way I did for someone I just met. It felt foolish and silly to pine over someone I barely knew.

  I couldn’t shake the connection I felt for him though, a connection I was sure he felt too. The spell of it all vanished when Arnie showed up. Shame and guilt filled me to the brim. I hadn’t meant to encroach on my friend’s guy.

  Continuing to sip on my Dim Star, my impatience for my night to begin to gnaw at me. Suddenly, my phone sent me a notification that I had a match with Greg. I pressed on Greg’s profile photo eagerly. Greg had nice eyes and a pleasant smile as he stood on a sailing boat mid-laugh. Another photo was with him and an adorable dog.