Commencement
Page 65
Allen had finally worked up the courage to make the call. It had been nearly four weeks since he had heard from or seen Jim. The last time they had been together at Emily Ann’s was a total disaster. He was totally wasted, and had been really rude to everyone, especially Davis. Allen had no choice at that time but to take him aside in the men’s room and call him out on his drinking. Allen had begged him to talk to him about what was going on, and to get some help, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. Jim stormed out of the restaurant absolutely livid after the confrontation and cut off all contact with Allen and the others. He rarely answered texts, or emails, and when Allen called his phone it went to voice mail. Even when he went to his apartment building, he wouldn’t answer the intercom. So Allen decided to give Jim his space. Maybe they needed some time apart. Allen only hoped that Jim had taken time to consider what he had said and get some help. He also hoped this phone call would not turn out the way his visit to Callie had.
Allen had racked his brain thinking of a suitable pretext for calling, but he couldn’t think of one. He had thought about using Davis’s situation and the upcoming meeting at Uptown Soul restaurant, but knowing how Jim felt about Davis, he didn’t think that would be a good idea. So Allen just decided to take a chance with the hope that he could get Jim to open up about what was going on with him. He knew it had something to do with the death of Momma Merta. Jim and his mom were really close, and after her death, Jim began to change. First he left the church, and now he had abandoned his ambitions to become a lawyer, only to take up the bottle. Allen couldn’t let his best friend in the world continue down this path without reaching out to help him, but Jim wasn’t making it easy. Allen couldn’t help but be a little nervous as he dialed Jim’s number. “What if he was still angry?” Allen thought. Allen’s anxiety was put to ease when he heard the phone ring on the other end.
“Hey, long time, no hear”, answered Jim after the sixth ring.
“I know. So what’s up, man?”
“Me? I’m good. Got nothin’ to complain about. You?”
“Same. I was wondering if you’d be interested in meeting up with me and the guys for dinner, or if you want we could just go down to the court, and shoot hoops like old times.”
“I don’t know. I’ve been working a lot of overtime lately. I’m not in the mood for a whole lot of running around.”
“C’mon, Jim. This is Allen, your boy. We go all the way back to comic books and cookies, man. I don’t like the way things are between us right now. We really need to talk.”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”
“Jim, you know what I mean.”
“Whatever you have to say, just say it.”
“Okay. If you want to do it this way, then fine: what’s going on? Why have you been avoiding me lately? You rarely return calls or texts and when I come by, you pretend you’re not home. What’s up with that?”
Allen could hear Jim taking a deep breath during the brief pause in the conversation, and it worried him.
“I was just trying to make things easier for you, Allen.”
“I don’t get it, man. How can having my best friend act like a total stranger make things ‘easier’ for me?”
“Allen, I think you know just as well as I do that we’ve reached a fork in the road of our friendship. I want to go one way and you want to go another.”
“Could you please stop using bad clichés for a second and explain what you’re talking about? I always thought that we would be boys no matter what.”
“I’m talking about the fact that we’ve changed. We’ve outgrown each other. We have different wants and different needs. You’re into the church scene and I’m not and because of that, we don’t really have much in common anymore.”
“I’ve been going to church for years since you quit. You never had a problem with it before.”
“You weren’t as committed back then. Back then we could talk about stuff without getting into a major argument.”
“It’s not religion that has been causing arguments between us lately, Jim. You know that.”
“And that’s another thing,” said Jim, bristling at Allen’s implication. “You’re not the same dude I grew up with! Now you’re just like the church people we used to make fun of. All those sanctimonious, judgmental, know-it-all’s who think they know everything about everybody. Maybe I don’t want to be friends with someone like that.”
“Jim, I have never stepped to you out of condescension. Anything I’ve said has always been out of the love a man has for his brother. Can’t you see that I’m afraid of what’s going to happen to you? I don’t want you to end up strung out or processed through the system like some of these other brothers out here.”
“It’s my life Allen! And just because I’m not living it the way you think I should, doesn’t mean I’m going to be a screw up!”
“I’m not asking you to live my way. I just want you to deal with what’s been bothering you.”
“The only thing that’s bothering me right now is you! You need to stop trying to be Superman for everyone else and save yourself!”
“Jim, the last thing I want to do is be a bother to you and I didn’t call just so we could get into another argument. All I want is to have my best friend back. Tell me, how can we fix this?”
“There are some things in this life you just can’t fix.”
Forty-Nine