Commencement
Page 76
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Tim paced up and down one of the dance rooms waiting for Tamiko to arrive. He felt like a rubber band that was going to snap, so taut were his nerves. He started to walk laps around the room to keep himself sane. Tim was on his third lap around when he heard footsteps echoing through the dance room. He turned around and saw her standing a few steps away. As their eyes met, Tamiko was able to read the anguish on his face almost immediately. She ran over to him and threw her arms around him. Tim put his arms around her and lifted her up a little bit, holding her tight. He didn’t want to let go.
“I’m so glad you’re here.”
“So what happens now?” asked Tamiko as she pulled out of the embrace to face him.
“I’m supposed to have a biopsy done on Monday, so they can find out just what it is.”
“What time are you going in?”
“At 4:30.”
“Do you need me to do anything for you while you’re in the hospital? Like run errands or something?”
“No.”
“How soon will you have the results of the biopsy?”
“I don’t need the results to know what this is. We both know what it is.”
“No we don’t. What ever it is, it may not be life threatening. Maybe the doctors can operate and remove it…”
“And what if they mess up? Or What if they can’t get it out? What happens then?”
“Don’t even go there! God is going to work this out!”
“And what if He doesn’t, Tamiko? What if this is one thing He doesn’t want to work out? This is a very real possibility that we have to face.”
“I can’t believe that! I won’t believe that, especially after all He’s brought you through! I don’t want you thinking that either!”
“When I was in the cab going back to work, I was looking back over the past couple of months and I was thinking that maybe it was no coincidence that I should begin to experience God in my life at this time. Maybe you were right. Maybe He wants me to get my life right… because I don’t have much time left.”
“No! Tim, you’re going to just stop this right now! I’m not going to allow you to sit here and wallow in self-pity. Yes, God has brought you to Himself, but I don’t think it’s because you’re going to die. I think it’s because he has a plan and purpose for your life. You are going to come through this.”
“You don’t know how much I want to believe that.”
“Then believe it.”
“I just…what if…”
“Tim, I know you’re used to being let down by a lot of people, but God won’t let you down. That much I know. But you have to come to Him and surrender everything.”
“I know. I want to, but…I’m not sure if I have what it takes to be the kind of person like you or Allen. I’m not exactly the nicest guy in the world.”
“You don’t need to be the nicest guy in the world. Tim, all you need is to believe in His Son, Jesus, and have the desire to live right. Do you have that?”
Tim had to think about this. He did believe that there was a God. He did have the desire to live right, but he didn’t know about Jesus as God’s Son and the only way to God. He had spoken with the Pastor about this on a previous occasion. In some ways it seemed to make sense and in some ways it didn’t.
“I don’t know. I think…I mean I know there’s a God. I know that my life isn’t what it should be, but I’m not sure about much else.”
“Tim, as long as you’ve been a part of our church, have you been reading the Bible?”
“Funny you should ask. Haven’t really. I’ve always thought that’s what the good Pastor was for.”
“The Pastor isn’t the only one who’s supposed to read the Bible. We are, too.”
“But there’s so many different versions. How do you know which one is authentic and which isn’t?”
“In our church we use the King James Version of the Bible. This version was translated directly from the original Hebrew, Greek and Latin texts. I hope you still have the one I got you for Christmas.”
“I have it.”
“Read the New Testament. Read about Jesus. Listen to him speak through the Word. If you truly believe in God, it will clear up a lot of your confusion. Will you do this?”
“O.K. Couldn’t hurt right?”
“Of course not. In fact, it will help you in ways you can’t begin to imagine.”
“I guess I’ll take your word for it. Tamiko, I don’t want this to get out…”
“You know you’ve got me keeping a lot of secrets.”
“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t want a lot of drama. I’m planning to let Allen and the others know, soon. I just want to be able to tell them myself. And I don’t want to get my family or the people at my job involved just yet.”
“I can understand the people at your job, but your family! Tim, isn’t that what your family is there for? Shouldn’t you be able to lean on them in times like this?”
“In theory yes, but my mom always manages to take my crises and turn it into her own personal melodrama. And all my sister would do is sulk because she’s not the center of attention. I don’t need that right now.”
“O.K. I’ll let you handle this your way. But if you need anything, you know you have me and Allen, and my family you can turn to. And best of all, you always have God.”
“Thanks, Tamiko. Why do I always feel better after talking to you?”
“I hope it’s because God is using me to help you.”
“I think He is.”
Fifty-Nine