by E. C. Land
“You know why I still work there. Besides, since we hired Bethany I don’t work there as much,” I shrug.
“I still can’t believe you guys hired her. Don’t you remember how dorky she was in school,” Lori smiles evilly.
Some days, I wonder why the two of us are even friends.
Because she’s the only one who’s ever looked out for you.
Are you sure about that?
Lori has only ever looked out for herself.
“Lori don’t start. I’m honestly not in the mood and Bethany has never done a thing to you so I suggest you leave her alone,” I mutter.
“I’m just saying . . .”
“No, you weren’t. Now drop it,” I say interrupting her.
“What’s up with you? You’re being a complete bitch,” Lori states as she grabs a chip from the basket.
“Honestly, you are. We can’t have one lunch without you attacking someone. Or criticizing my decisions,” I grumble, holding her gaze.
“Fine, I’ll leave it, but I only bring it up because I want the best for you. I love you and can’t stand to see you somewhere where I know it’s not right for you,” Lori says softly.
“I’m perfectly fine where I am. Plus I get to spend a lot of time with my niece.” A smile crosses my face thinking of Melody.
That little girl is a blessing in disguise. I was heartbroken the day she was born, and my sister died. It felt like a piece of me left with her. But holding Melody in my arms fills that part of me. I’ll never forget my sister but having her daughter here helps. I get to remember Jamie through Melody.
“Well that’s always a good thing. I mean that little girl is going to need all the help she can get. I mean look at who her dad is. Top that off with the fact she lives with only men.” Fury rises inside me at her words. This is the first time she’s said anything like that about my Melody and I’m not about to put up with it.
Shaking my head, I gather my purse and shoot daggers at Lori. “You know what from now on, find someone else to have lunch with. You’ve crossed the line with attacking my niece. I’ve put up with you talking shit about my decisions, but you don’t ever say a word about Melody. Don’t call me. Consider our friendship over. I’m done,” I snap before standing from the table and leaving.
Glad I hadn’t already ordered. I’ll just pick something up on the way back to Music Lullabies. I don’t get how she can always be so vindictive toward everyone around her.
Before I know it, I’ve passed all the fast food places and am parking my car in my usual spot at the shop. Since hiring Bethany, I haven’t been needed much here which I thought is what I wanted but to be honest it’s not. I find myself coming in just to be here. I refuse to admit why that is.
Instead I use the excuse of wanting to be able to talk with Chaz about scheduling of the band’s gigs and work on the website that I use to promote them. Oh, and I can’t forget following the rankings of the songs they release.
Opening my car door, I get out and sigh hoping I don’t run into him. If I do, he’ll know somethings wrong with me. He always does, and I hate him for it.
Stepping through the front door of Music Lullabies, I’m met by the shouts of an argument.
“I don’t care. I’m not going on that stage,” Bethany snaps.
“Why not? Your voice is beautiful, and the songs don’t sound the same without you,” Chaz argues.
“I’m not doing it,” she mutters.
Grinning at the argument those two are constantly having, I make my way toward them. “Are you two ever going to find something else to fight about?” I chuckle.
“We wouldn’t be arguing about it if bossy here would stop pestering me to sing on a damn stage. It’s bad enough I’m constantly in the studio recording songs that are being released for everyone to hear,” Bethany says, throwing her arms in the air. Here recently she’s been way crappier about this since the Letters From Above benefit concert.
“Fairy girl, no one is pressuring you to do a damn thing. All I’m saying is I love having you up there with me. It’s not the same singing our new songs without you,” Chaz says, wrapping his arms around Bethany pulling her into him.
Watching them I know I want what they have but I’m not sure I’ll ever really have it. Not when I can’t have Tanner. He broke my heart that night and to make matters worse, he’s my husband. I wish there wasn’t heartache between us but there is.
Needing to keep my thoughts from going down that road, I leave the happy couple to their banter and head for the studio. It’s where I work when I’m trying to get something done. Plus, bonus points when the guys are practicing, I get to watch Tanner without him knowing.
As I approach the doors, I already know who’s on the other side. All because I can hear him talking to someone.
“I already told you Mom, I’m done having you and dickhead mooching off me. Don’t expect another dime from me or Kobi. We’re not your ATM machine. You need money tell your husband to get off his fucked up ass and work for it.” Closing my eyes, I lean my head against the door not wanting to intrude on his conversation.
“You can quit with the crying, it’s not gonna work on me this time,” Tanner’s voice booms. My heart hurts for him having to deal with his parents constantly. Ever since I first met his mother, I never liked her. She always takes his dad’s side rather than being there for her sons.
How Tanner and his brother, Kobi, turned out the way they have is beyond me. Both of them have been successful since high school. Kobi is in college on a sports scholarship that he received for not only football but baseball as well. However, he had the choice of one or the other to play and went with baseball.
Tanner though he chose not to go to school after college. Instead he and the guys pursued their passion in music and have become successful in not just the music they play but this shop as well. The guys all have a soft spot for this place; it’s where it all began for them.
Before I can pull away from the door it opens, and I’m met by the furious glare of Tanner. Our eyes meet and I know he realizes I heard his conversation from the way his eyes narrow.
When he opens his mouth, I know it’s not going to be pretty. It never is.
Chapter 2
Tanner
I’m furious when I hang up with my mom. I become even more so as I open the door coming face-to-face with the most insufferable woman I know.
My fuckin’ wife.
That night I’d tied her to me when she asked. Somedays I regret fuckin’ doing it but then again I wouldn’t have her in my life at all. Granted I can’t really claim she’s a part of it now. Other than when she’s here or the times she comes by the house for Melody, I don’t see her.
For the past five and a half years I've not been with another woman nor wanted to. Why do our lives have to be this fuckin’ complicated?
Right now, though, I’m pissed she’d been eavesdropping on a conversation that wasn’t meant for anyone’s ears. Doesn’t matter she knows how my parents are. It’s not any of her business.
Like she really cares. All you two ever do is argue when you’re around each other. Just get a divorce and be done with it.
That’s not an option.
“What the fuck?” I snap, my hand still on the doorknob.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to listen in. I swear, I only just got to the door and barely heard a word,” she says quickly.
“You heard enough, Alexis,” I sneer as I go to pass her, I shove my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching out to touch her.
“I said, I didn’t mean to listen in, Tanner. You don’t need to take your anger out on me,” Alexis whispers softly and I know I’m being an ass. In all honesty I’m over the whole being nice and trying to win her back.
“Not taking my anger out on you. I simply don’t give a damn anymore,” I say through clenched teeth before stalking away. I can’t be around her right now let alone look at her.
Hitting the main room of the shop, I find C
haz and Bethany holding each other as they smile. I want that but I will never have it with the woman I want most.
“Hey Tan Tan, what’s up with the long face?” Bethany asks when she sees me.
“Nothing. Can you do me a favor, Bethy, and cancel the rest of my lessons for the day. I’m heading out. Actually, cancel them for the rest of the week,” I mutter meeting Chaz’s gaze. His brows furrowed in confusion for a brief moment before he nods his head. He gets why I need the break.
“Don’t worry about the rest of the week we can cover it for you,” Chaz says.
“Thanks man, I’m heading out. See you all at home.” Passing them, I make my way out of the shop toward my car.
Sliding in behind the wheel, I ignore the phone vibrating in my pocket. I know who it is and I don’t feel like hearing any more of the bullshit. I’m done being the parent to the ones who are supposed to have been taking care of Kobi and I growing up.
If it weren’t for the owner of Music Lullabies at the time, I don’t know what I’d have done. He gave me a purpose when I was close to being the very man I loathe. All because in their life it’s either become a dealer, druggie, or wind up dead in some gang rivalry.
Growing up it was rough. When I joined Chaz, Hunter, and Lex in the band it became worse. The guys in the neighborhood would call me wannabe white boy. Yet my friends never once treated me differently. To them there was no difference in the color of our skin. We were all the same.
Chaz one day took a pocketknife out and sliced into each of our thumbs. “See we all bleed the same, there’s no difference. You’re my brother the same as these three. Don’t let the words of those idiots get to you.” His words have always stuck with me when someone said something negative.
I guess that’s why the four of us are so close. I mean the three of them are established as my Power of Attorney if anything were to happen to me. They’re also in my will along with Alexis. I refuse to allow my parents to take anything that doesn’t belong to them.
Kobi has also done the same but he’d put down his best friend, Toby.
Starting the engine, I turn my music up as loud as it will go while rolling down my windows. Drowning Pool’s ‘Tear Away’ blares through the speakers.
Ironic that this song would be playing right now. Because it’s exactly how I feel, spinning tires as I pull away from the curb.
I don’t know where I’m heading, but driving gives me a sense of peace. All my worries are pushed to the back of my mind while the music fills the interior and my focus is on the road. If I were on my motorcycle it’d be even better. Unfortunately for me, it’s at the Devil’s Riot garage getting a new paint job.
Making my way down the interstate heading east toward the beach, my anger starts to dissipate and reason seeps in. Alexis wasn’t trying to do anything but come into the room she works out of. I’d been in there so no one would be listening to my conversation and she was supposed to be at lunch with that bitch Lori.
On the days they meet for lunch, Alexis doesn’t normally come back until like two hours after, never thirty minutes. Thinking back to when I snapped at her, she’d already looked upset. Was it because of the conversation she’d heard or something else?
Damnit, to fuckin’ hell. This is what happens to my head every time I have the pleasure of talking with my mom.
Go home and talk to Alexis. Make her see reason. You and she are the perfect harmony.
“Yeah right, if that were the case, we’d actually be together,” I mutter out loud.
Win her back. What do you have to lose?
Lose? Let’s see the rest of my heart. My soul.
Then again, if I could I’d have the one person in my life who’s ever been able to keep the demons at bay.
Go for it or finally let her go.
Besides the band I don’t have anything else but her. To let her go will kill me. If I fight for her it might be worth everything in the end. Only is she going to fight for me as well?
Coming up on an exit, I make my decision and take it in order to turn around. Alexis is worth it and I’ll make sure she sees the two of us are worth fighting for.
Now it’s time to come up with some plans to make this work.
It’s time my wife started being just that. I’m going to move all her shit to the house the guys and I all share.
It’s not like we don’t have the room. I mean we each have our own wing. Okay, so the house is more like a mansion but it’s ours and we’d wanted to live together and have our own space at the same time.
Alexis will have her own space as well, this will just be a small part to winning her over.
Ready or not, it’s time we get our shit together.
Chapter 3
Alexis
The rest of the day goes by at a crawling pace and I can’t get out of here fast enough. Thinking of how angry Tanner was when he’d stalked out of here, I know there is something more that is bothering him.
“Alexis, you wanna come to the house for dinner tonight?” Bethany asks before I can go any deeper into my thoughts of the man who I can’t seem to ever get out of my head.
“Not tonight,” I say, standing from my computer and start to gather my things.
“Are you sure? You’ve seemed off since you got back from lunch.” I love Bethany like she were my own sister and I know she means well but right now I don’t want to talk about what’s going on. Not with anyone.
Today freaking needs a redo button. Losing a one of the people I consider my friend, my best friend at that sucks. Lori was supposed to be my best friend and now I’m cutting her out of my life. She drew the finally straw with me thanks to her stupid hateful remarks. Then there’s the run in with Tanner. Can the day get any worse than it already is?
My life as it is, feeble at best. You’d think I’d be in a better place filled with joy and happiness, yet here I am bummed the hell out.
“Yeah, I’m sure Bethy. I’ll see you tomorrow.” If only tomorrow wasn’t going to be the same as today.
“Okay,” she says cheerfully before heading off to gather her own things. She always rides with Chaz to work. The two are constantly glued to each other. It’s kinda sickening. Yet I envy the love they have for each other.
Chaz is lucky to have someone like Bethany. Jamie would be happy to know he found someone else to love. Someone who loves her daughter as her own.
I walk through the front doors of the shop before Chaz and Bethany and head for my car. I just need to get out of here, stop for Chinese food and go home, where I could hide from the rest of the world.
Maybe take a bubble bath.
Everyone thinks I live at my grandma’s still, but that’s not the case. I only stay there when Melody is staying the night to help her out. She’s not as young as she used to be and handling a child isn’t always easy on her.
Stopping at my favorite Chinese place, I grab three containers before I start picking out what I want. Thing that makes this place the best is the buffet line up of all my favorites and you don’t pay by the weight but rather the size.
By the time I make it to my apartment, I’m starving from the aroma coming from the passenger seat. I quickly put the car in park and shut the engine off. Opening the door, I grab my things and head for the door to my apartment building.
As I go to put the key in my doorknob my brow furrows at finding it already unlocked.
“What the hell?” I mutter as I push the door completely open.
My eyes widen at the empty apartment.
“I’ve been robbed.” Panic starts to seep in when I realize I’m not alone in here. Whipping my head around, I come face to face with Tanner. “Oh my God, you just scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?” I ask dropping the bags in my arms and wrapping them around Tanners waist.
“Well I’ve come to the realization while driving around. It’s time you come home where you're supposed to be. So . . . with that said I got a moving truck to come over here and help me get all your
stuff packed up.” My body stiffens with each of Tanner’s words.
“Are you kidding me right now? You can’t come in here and do this,” I grind out through clenched teeth.
“Yeah, I can babe,” he grins.
“No, you can’t. How did you find out I lived here in the first place?” No one besides my grandmother knew.
“I’ve known you lived in this building since you first moved in. You should really learn who your landlord is before you sign a lease,” Tanner says, giving me a devilish grin.
Wait. What?
“What do you mean I should learn who my landlord is?” Furrowing my brow, I cross my arms while waiting for him to answer the question.
“Babe, I own this building.” If the earth could open up and swallow me whole, any time now would be great.
Tanner owns the building I’ve been living in this entire time.
Is that why my rent was cheaper than all the other apartments?
Shaking my head, I don’t need to worry about that right now. I’ll table it for later. Right now, I need to get my stuff and find somewhere else to live.
“Where’s my stuff, Tanner?” I demand.
“On the way home where it belongs. We can go through it later after you’re settled in at the house.”
“No. No. No. This is not happening,” I mutter, turning away from him.
“Yeah, Alexis, it is. It’s well past time that we got our heads out of our asses. We need to figure out this shit between us. Can’t do that when you’re constantly avoiding me every chance you get.” Tanner’s voice seems so light, yet I know he’s completely serious from the way his eyes are narrowed, and his arms are crossed when I turn back to face him.
“Tanner, we can . . .” I don’t get to finish my sentence because Tanner has me in his arms and his mouth is on mine.
Oh shit. Tanner’s kissing me. Closing my eyes, I wrap my arms around his neck as he pulls me closer into his embrace. It’s been years since I’ve kissed him and oh damn, I’ve missed it.
