PS, I Love You

by Cecelia Ahern

  “Aaaaaggghhh!” Holly screamed with frustration, interrupting him again.

  “Holly,” Denise said, gently placing her hand on Holly’s arm, “what’s wrong?”

  “I need to know what room Daniel is staying in!” she yelled, and Denise looked startled.

  “It’s room three forty-two,” she stuttered.

  “Thank you!” Holly yelled angrily, not knowing why she was still screaming, and she stormed off in the direction of the elevators.

  Holly rushed down the corridor dragging her bag behind her and checking the door numbers. When she reached his room she knocked furiously on the door, and as she heard footsteps approaching the door she realized she hadn’t even thought about what she was going to say. She took a deep breath as the door was pulled open.

  She stopped breathing.

  It was Laura.

  “Honey, who is it?” she heard Daniel’s voice call. Holly saw him walk out of the bathroom with a tiny towel wrapped around his naked body.

  “You!” Laura screeched.

  Fifty-one

  HOLLY STOOD OUTSIDE DANIEL’S BEDROOM door and glanced from Laura to Daniel and back to Laura again. She gathered from their seminakedness that Daniel had already known Laura was coming to the wedding. She also assumed that he hadn’t informed Denise or Tom either, as they hadn’t been able to warn Holly. But even if they had known, they wouldn’t have considered it important to tell her. Holly hadn’t shared what Daniel had told her before Christmas with any of her friends. As Holly stared into the hotel room, she realized this meant that she had absolutely no reason to be standing where she was right then.

  Daniel hung on to his tiny towel tightly, glued to the spot, his face a picture of shock. Laura’s face was stormy. Holly’s mouth had dropped open. Nobody spoke for a while. Holly could almost hear everybody’s brains ticking. Then eventually someone spoke and Holly wished it hadn’t been that particular person. “What are you doing here?” Laura hissed.

  Holly’s mouth opened and closed like a goldfish’s. Daniel’s forehead wrinkled in confusion as he stared from one girl to the other. “Do you two …” He stopped asking the question as if the idea were totally ridiculous, but then thought about it and decided to ask anyway, “Do you two know each other?”

  Holly gulped.

  “Ha!” Laura’s face twisted in contempt. “She is no friend of mine! I caught this little bitch kissing my boyfriend!” Laura yelled and then stopped herself as she realized what she had said.

  “Your boyfriend?” Daniel yelled, crossing the room to join them at the door.

  “Sorry … ex-boyfriend,” Laura mumbled, staring at the floor.

  A small smile crept across Holly’s face, glad that Laura had dumped herself in it.

  “Yeah, Stevie, wasn’t it? A good friend of Daniel’s, if I remember correctly.”

  Daniel’s face reddened as he looked at them both, seeming completely lost. Laura stared back at Daniel, angrily wondering how this woman knew her boyfriend … her current boyfriend, that was.

  “Daniel’s a good friend of mine,” Holly explained, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “So have you come to steal him from me too?” Laura said bitterly.

  “Oh please, like you’re one to talk,” she fired at Laura and her face reddened.

  “You kissed Stevie?” Daniel said, slowly getting the gist of the story. He looked angry.

  “No, I did not kiss Stevie.” Holly rolled her eyes.

  “You did too!” Laura yelled childishly.

  “Oh, would you ever shut up?” She looked at Laura and laughed. “What does it matter to you anyway? I take it you’re back with Daniel, so it looks like everything worked out for you in the end!” Holly then turned to Daniel.

  “No, Daniel,” Holly continued. “I did not kiss Stevie. We were down in Galway for Denise’s hen weekend and Stevie was drunk and tried to kiss me,” she explained calmly.

  “Oh, you’re such a liar,” Laura said bitterly, “I saw what happened.”

  “And so did Charlie.” Holly ignored Laura and continued to face Daniel. “So ask him if you don’t believe me, but if you don’t believe me I really don’t care either,” she added. “Anyway, I came to have that chat with you but you’re obviously busy.” She glanced down at the skimpy towel wrapped around his waist. “So I’ll see you both later at the wedding.” And with that she turned on her heel and marched off down the corridor dragging her suitcase behind her. She glanced back at Daniel, who was still staring at her from his door, and she turned her head and turned the corner. She froze when she realized she had reached a dead end. The elevators were the other way. She kept on walking to the end of the corridor so she wouldn’t look completely stupid for walking past their door again. She waited at the end of the corridor for a while until she heard the door close. She tiptoed back up the hall, rounded the corner and sneaked past his bedroom door and rushed down to the elevator.

  She pressed the button and breathed a sigh of relief, closing her tired eyes. She didn’t even feel angry with Daniel, in fact, in a really childish way, she was glad he had done something to stop them from having their little chat. So she had been dumped and not the other way around, as she was expecting. But Daniel couldn’t have been that much in love with her, she reasoned, if he was able to get over her and go back to Laura so quickly. Ah well, at least she didn’t hurt his feelings … but she did think he was a complete fool for taking Laura back …

  “Are you getting in or what?”

  Holly’s eyes flew open; she hadn’t even heard the elevator doors open. “Leo!” she smiled, stepping in and hugging him. “I didn’t know you were coming down!”

  “I’m doing hair for the queen bee today,” he laughed, referring to Denise.

  “Is she that bad?” Holly winced.

  “Oh, she was just in a tizzy because Tom saw her on the day of her wedding. She thinks it’ll be bad luck.”

  “Well, it will only be bad luck if she thinks it’s bad luck,” Holly smiled.

  “I haven’t seen you for ages,” Leo said, glancing at Holly’s hair and making it very obvious.

  “Oh I know,” Holly moaned, covering her roots with her hand. “I’ve been so busy at work this month I just haven’t had time.”

  Leo raised his eyebrows and looked amused. “Never did I think I would ever hear you say those words about work. You’re a changed woman.”

  Holly smiled and was thoughtful. “Yes. Yes, I really think I am.”

  “Come on, then,” Leo said, stepping out onto his floor. “The wedding isn’t for another few hours; I’ll tie your hair up so we can cover those awful roots.”

  “Oh, are you sure you don’t mind?” Holly bit her lip, feeling guilty.

  “No, I don’t mind at all.” Leo waved his hand dismissively. “We can’t have you ruining Denise’s wedding photos with that head on you, can we?”

  Holly smiled and dragged her suitcase out of the elevator after him. That was more like it, for a minute there he was just being too nice.

  Denise looked at Holly excitedly at the head table of the hotel’s function room as someone rapped a spoon against their glass and the speeches began. Holly fumbled nervously with her hands in her lap going over and over her speech in her head and not even listening to what the other speakers were saying.

  She should have written it down because now she was so nervous, she couldn’t remember the start of it. Her heart beat wildly as Daniel sat down and everyone applauded. She was next and there was to be no running into the toilets this time. Sharon grabbed her trembling hand and assured her she would be fine. Holly smiled back at her shakily, not feeling at all fine. Denise’s father announced that Holly was going to speak and the room turned to face her. All she could see was a sea of faces as everyone stared up at her. She stood up slowly from her chair and glanced over at Daniel for encouragement. He winked at her. She smiled back at him and her heartbeat slowed down. Her friends were all there. She glanced down the room
and spotted John sitting at a table with his and Gerry’s friends. John gave her the thumbs-up and Holly’s speech went out the window as a new one formed in her head. She cleared her throat.

  “Please forgive me if I get a little emotional while I speak but I am just so happy for Denise today. She is my best friend …,” she paused and glanced down at Sharon beside her, “… well, one of them.”

  The room laughed.

  “And I am so proud of her today and delighted that she has found love with a wonderful man like Tom.”

  Holly smiled as she saw tears fill Denise’s eyes. The woman who never cried.

  “Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we’re gone. I know a thing or two about having someone like that, and I know that Denise has found a soul mate in Tom. Denise, I’m glad to tell you that a bond like that will never die.” A lump formed in Holly’s throat and she took a moment to compose herself before continuing. “I am both honored and petrified that Denise asked me to speak today.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “But I am delighted to have been asked to share this beautiful day with Denise and Tom, and here’s to them having many more beautiful days like this together.”

  Everyone cheered and reached for their glasses.

  “However!” Holly raised her voice over the crowd and held her hand up to silence them. The noise died down and once again all eyes were on her.

  “However, some guests here today will be aware of the list that a marvelous man thought up.” Holly smiled at John’s table; Sharon and Denise cheered. “And one of those rules was to never, ever wear a ’spensive white dress.”

  Holly giggled as John’s table went wild and Denise broke down into hysterics remembering the fateful night when the new rule was added to the list.

  “So on behalf of Gerry,” Holly said, “I will forgive you for breaking that rule only because you look so amazing, and I will ask you all to join me in a toast to Tom and Denise and her very, very ’spensive white dress, and I should know, because I was dragged around every bridal shop in Ireland!”

  The guests in the room all held up their glasses and repeated, “To Tom and Denise and her very, very ’spensive white dress!”

  Holly took her seat and Sharon hugged her with tears in her eyes. “That was perfect, Holly.”

  Holly’s face beamed as John’s table held their glasses up to her and cheered. And then the party began.

  Tears formed in Holly’s eyes as she watched Tom and Denise dancing together for the first time as husband and wife, and she remembered that feeling. That feeling of excitement, of hope, of pure happiness and pride, a feeling of not knowing what the future held but being so ready to face it all. And that thought made her happy; she wouldn’t cry about it, she would embrace it. She had enjoyed every second of her life with Gerry, but now it was time to move on. Move on to the next chapter of her life, bringing wonderful memories with her and experiences that would teach her and help mold her future. Sure it would be difficult; she had learned that nothing was ever easy. But it didn’t feel as difficult as it had a few months ago, and she assumed that in another few months it would be even less difficult.

  She had been given a wonderful gift: life. Sometimes it was cruelly taken away too soon, but it was what you did with it that counted, not how long it lasted.

  “Could I have this dance?” A hand appeared before her and she looked up to see Daniel smiling down on her.

  “Sure.” She smiled and took his hand.

  “May I say that you’re looking very beautiful tonight?”

  “You may,” Holly smiled. She was happy with how she looked, Denise had chosen a beautiful lilac-colored dress for her with a corset top that hid her Christmas belly, and there was a large slit up the side. Leo had done a beautiful job with her hair, pinning it up and allowing some curls to tumble down onto her shoulders. She felt beautiful. She felt like Princess Holly, and she giggled to herself at the thought.

  “That was a lovely speech you made,” he smiled. “I realize that what I said to you was selfish of me. You said you weren’t ready and I didn’t listen,” he apologized.

  “That’s OK, Daniel; I don’t think I’ll be ready for a long, long time. But thank you for getting over me so fast.” She raised her eyebrows and nodded over at Laura, who was sitting moodily on her own at the table.

  Daniel bit his lip. “I know it must seem crazy fast to you, but when you didn’t return any of my calls, even I got the hint you weren’t ready for a relationship. And when I went home for the holidays and met up with Laura, that old flame just sparked again. You were right, I never got over her. Believe me, if I hadn’t known with all my heart that you weren’t in love with me, I never would have brought her to the wedding.”

  Holly smiled at Daniel. “Sorry for avoiding you all month. I was having a bit of ‘me’ time. But I still think you’re a fool.” She shook her head as she watched Laura scowl back at her.

  Daniel sighed, “I know she and I have a lot to discuss over the next while and we’re really going to take things slowly, but like you said, for some people love just lives on.”

  Holly threw her eyes up to heaven. “Oh, don’t start quoting me on that one,” she laughed. “Ah well, as long as you’re happy, I suppose. Although I don’t see how you ever will be.” She sighed dramatically and Daniel laughed.

  “I am happy, Holly, I guess I just can’t live without the drama.” He glanced over at Laura, and his eyes softened. “I need someone who is passionate about me, and for better or for worse, Laura is passionate. What about you? Are you happy?” He studied Holly’s face.

  Holly thought about it. “Tonight I’m happy. I will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. But I’m getting there …”

  Holly gathered in a huddle with Sharon, John, Denise and Tom and awaited the countdown.

  “Five … four … three … two … one! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Everyone cheered and balloons of all colors of the rainbow fell from the ceiling of the function room and bounced around on the heads of the crowd.

  Holly hugged her friends happily with tears in her eyes.

  “Happy New Year.” Sharon squeezed her tightly and kissed her on the cheek.

  Holly placed her hand over Sharon’s bump and held Denise’s hand tightly. “Happy New Year for all of us!”

  Epilogue

  HOLLY FLICKED THROUGH the newspapers to see which one contained a photo of Denise and Tom on their wedding day. It wasn’t every day that Ireland’s top radio DJ and a girl from “Girls and the City” got married. That’s what Denise liked to think anyway.

  “Hey!” the grumpy newsagent yelled at her. “This is not a library, you either buy it or put it down.”

  Holly sighed and began to gather every newspaper from the newsstand once again. She had to take two trips to the counter due to the weight of the papers and the man didn’t even think to help her. Not that she would have wanted his help anyway. Once again a queue had formed behind the till. Holly smiled to herself and took her time. It was his own fault, if he would just let her flick through the papers she wouldn’t have to hold him up. She made her way to the top of the queue with the last of the papers and began to add bars of chocolate and packets of sweets to the pile.

  “Oh, and can I have a bag too, please.” She batted her eyelashes and smiled sweetly.

  The old man stared down at her over the rim of his glasses as though she were a naughty schoolgirl. “Mark!” he yelled angrily.

  The spotty teenager appeared from the shopping aisles once again with a pricing gun in his hand.

  “Open the other till, son,” he was ordered, and Mark dragged his body over to the till.

  Half the queue behin
d Holly moved over to the other side.

  “Thank you.” Holly smiled and made her way toward the door. Just as she was about to pull the door open it was pushed from the other side, causing her purchases to once again spill out all over the floor.

  “I’m so sorry,” the man said, bending down to help her.

  “Oh, it’s OK,” Holly replied politely, not wanting to turn around to see the smug look on the old man’s face that was burning into her back.

  “Ah, it’s you! The chocoholic!” the voice said, and Holly looked up startled.

  It was the friendly customer with the odd green eyes who had helped her before.

  Holly giggled, “We meet again.”

  “Holly, isn’t it?” he asked, handing her the king-size chocolate bars.

  “That’s right, Rob, isn’t it?” she replied.

  “You’ve a good memory,” he laughed.

  “As do you,” she grinned. She piled everything back into her bag, lost in thought, and got back onto her feet.

  “Well, I’m sure I’ll bump into you again soon.” Rob smiled and made his way over to the queue.

  Holly stared after him still in a daze. Finally she walked over to him. “Rob, is there any chance you would like to go for that coffee today? If you can’t, that’s fine …” She bit her lip.

  He smiled and glanced down nervously at the ring on her finger.

  “Oh, don’t worry about that,” she held her hand out. “It only represents a lifetime of happy memories these days.”

  He nodded his head understandingly. “Well, in that case I would love to.”

  They crossed the road and headed over to the Greasy Spoon. “By the way, I’m sorry for running off on you the last time,” he apologized, looking into her eyes.

  “Oh, don’t worry; I usually escape out the toilet window after the first drink,” Holly teased.

  He laughed.

  Holly smiled to herself as she sat at the table waiting for him to bring back the drinks. He seemed nice. She relaxed back in her chair and gazed out of the window to the cold January day that caused the trees to dance wildly in the wind. She thought about what she had learned, who she once was and who she had now become. She was a woman who had been given advice from a man she loved, who had taken it and tried her hardest to help heal herself. She now had a job that she loved and felt confidence within herself to reach for what she wanted.