No Regrets

by B. B. Donnelly

  “Target down.” He tells through his earpiece.

  I hear a major exhale of breath. I glance back at Jackson. He is wiping the knife off on Nicholas’s jacket. Uh, hello, I’m not just hanging here for fun. I think, getting irritated. But when I look at him, I can see he is slightly shaking. That is when I realize he is trying to get a grip on his emotions. I hope it isn’t over killing Nicholas. I hope he is upset over me because frankly the asshole deserved it.

  Finally, he puts the knife down and he runs a gloved hand through his hair. He steps over the body and quietly makes his way towards me. He doesn’t look at me directly. He just takes something out of his pocket. It is a little tool that unlocks handcuffs. He steps close to me, reaching up to the cuffs. My bare breasts rub against his clothed chest. My breath catches and he gives me a worried glance, but then quickly averts them back to the cuffs, realizing my reaction was to him and not pain. My body keeps moving every time he does. Finally, with a frustrated grunt, he grabs both my legs and wraps them around his hips. My gasp is more audible now. I have no underwear on. Funny, how being in the same position with Jackson, feels completely different then with Nicholas. Jackson ignores my gasp and releases my legs, but I keep them secure around his waist. He reaches up and quickly unlocks the cuffs. Before I can fall, he has both arms holding me up. My arms fall onto his shoulders. Our eyes meet and, in that moment, I see the emotional rollercoaster of Jackson. I can’t tear my eyes away from his beautiful blue eyes and then suddenly…. his lips crush into mine.

  He pulls me closer, passionately kissing me, demanding me to open. His leather covered hand splays over my back and the other reaches behind my head, bringing me even closer. My legs are wrapped tightly around his waist and my arms are clinging to him. His tongue invades my lips and meets mine. I moan into his mouth and he deepens the kiss. I can’t believe I’m actually kissing Jackson! It is amazing even if it tastes like blood. It doesn’t seem to bother him. His hand is cupping the back of my head. It’s like his mouth is searching for my soul. Never leaving my lips, he slowly pries my legs off him, but still holding onto me as my feet touch completely on the ground. He supports me while I adjust to holding my own weight again. He continues to kiss me, but more gently now. But then I feel the loss of his lips. I moan in disappointment. He touches his forehead to mine. We are both breathing hard. He touches my cheek and then my neck. Tingles run down my body. Now, that was the kiss I was wanting earlier.

  “Are you okay?” He asks softly. I nod but look away from him. He gently let’s go of me. I immediately start pulling myself together. I yank up my bra and top. I’m trying to zip up my dress with shaky hands, when Jackson gently turns me around and zips it up. He pulls away as I turn around. He leans down and takes my favorite weapons out from under his pant leg. I’m totally in love with my throwing knives and he brought them. I flash him a grateful smile as he hands me the knives. He takes out his gun from the back of his pants. I have no idea how he got past security with the weapons, but I’m so glad he did. I feel a little more comfortable having a weapon on me.

  “Carter, I …” He is interrupted when three security men show up in the doorway. We immediately go on defense. Jackson seems to fly at the two men rushing toward him. In a whirl of punches and kicks, Jackson clearly holds the upper hand. My attention is taken from watching him when the third comes at me. I can tell he thinks I’m an easy target. I surprise him with a quick kick to the face, followed through with an uppercut to his jaw. Then I knock him out with one punch. I’m feeling proud of myself when I notice that the men are surrounding Jackson. He is holding his own. I know he doesn’t want to use his gun because it will only bring more attention. I focus on the man with his back to me. I take one of my throwing knives, kiss it, and let it sail. It embeds in the middle of the man’s back. BULLSEYE! Jackson was preoccupied during that moment and didn’t see my amazing feat. So, when he turns to fight the guy only to see him on the ground, I see the surprise on his face. I give him a cocky grin, but I see the man he was fighting before getting back up.

  “DUCK!” I yell, throwing another knife, nailing the man in the chest. He falls to the ground, clutching the handle. Jackson stands up from his squatted position. He runs a hand through his hair. He looks around and quickly begins to pull the men farther into the room. I follow his lead. I don’t know if I killed them, but if I did those would be my first kills. I will reflect on that thought later. There is no time now. Jackson steps out of the room. He drags the other guards inside the room as well. He picks up his weapon from Nicholas’s body. He also picks up my ripped underwear, stuffing them in his pocket. I give him a weird look.

  “We can’t have any connection to you.” He whispers. DNA testing can be a bitch.

  “And here I thought you were a panty stealer.”

  “Honey, if I wanted your panties, I wouldn’t have to steal them.” He says. I roll my eyes at his comment. He just smirks in response. I grab my shoes and carry them with me. I walk over to my knife and jerk hard, pulling it out of the man’s back. I feel a little sickened from the sucking noise the action caused. Jackson pulls my other knife out of the man’s chest. He pushes on his earpiece.

  “We need an extraction ASAP!” He commands. I don’t hear the response, but I’m assuming we are leaving. Thank God. Jackson grabs my hand and helps me step over the bodies. We quickly and quietly exit the room. He lets go of my hand to shut the door behind him. He quickly grabs it again and stealthily makes his way to the end of the hall. He peeks around the corner and then continues. I hear shouts and commands coming from the room we just left. Jackson and I look at each other in alarm and take off at a run. I lose my shoes in the process.

  Suddenly, the lights go out. There is our distraction. We slow down only to maneuver our way through the maze of hallways. Silently, we continue hand in hand. I’m trying to control my breathing. Suddenly, we hear voices approaching. Jackson stops, putting me flat against a door. I can see the light from the flashlights.

  My hand reaches the doorknob just as the lights turn the corner. We fall into the room. We quietly scramble to get behind the open door. The darkness conceals us even more. Luckily, the men keep going past. We are both breathing heavy now. I look over, my eyes adjusting in the darkness and I can see Jackson staring at me. He quickly looks away.

  Before I can comprehend the look, he spots a window, closes and locks the door, and makes his way to the window in the shadows. I take a second to fully appreciate how incredible Jackson truly is. He is so smooth like a real-life James Bond. My heart swells with pride that he could be mine. I see his silhouette as he searches the night sky. He quickly unlatches the window and motions for me to join him. I hurry over. He grabs my arms, getting my whole attention.

  “When I open this, an alarm is going to go off. We have to move fast. When we hit the ground, follow me and run as fast as you can.” He orders, sternly. Everything is so overwhelming and happening fast. My mind is starting to blank out which sucks because I totally need to focus. He takes a good look at my face and grabs it, making me look back at him.

  “Carter, focus, you can do this. We are almost in the clear.” He says softly. I nod back.

  “Okay, let’s do it.” I say, shaking off my emotions. The window is jerked open and an alarm wails, just like he said. He gracefully climbs out and I hear him land quietly. I follow, a little more awkward with my dress. I land on my bare feet with Jackson helping me up from the squat position. I hike up my skirt and we take off running. I know I can keep up with Jackson. Sometimes I even beat him in our training sessions, but this feels a little different. I’m running for my life. I follow Jackson as he climbs over a fence. The fence takes even more inches off my dress. We soon find ourselves in a residential area. We try to stick to the shadows. Jackson stops when a black SUV turns its lights on and blinks them twice. He grabs my hand and I let him rush me over. He throws open the back-passenger door and pretty much throws me in. He climbs in the front passenger seat and t
he SUV takes off, peeling out.

  “And, how was your date?” Mustang asks, using a girly voice. Mustang is on Jackson’s elite team. There are usually four to each team. Mustang is a very good agent and the best at extractions. He is a sarcastic bastard at the best of times and unfortunately a very good looking one. And he knows it which makes him think he is god’s gift to women. We both ignore him. Jackson reaches over the seat to grab a bag that is sitting beside me. He pulls it over the seat and turns back around. He starts pulling items out of it and throwing them back at me. There are baby wipes and a large pair of black sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I take the baby wipes and clean my face off. I flinch at the cuts and bruises. My cheek is swelling. I can see Jackson watching me from the mirror on his visor. Our eyes meet and I see the worry in them. I give him a small smile and continue wiping my face off. His phone rings. The tension is evident in his voice when he answers it.

  “Hello, sir……. yes, the target is down. I believe there were a few other casualties as well…. um…. well, no sir…. she did. Yes, sir…. she is fine…. okay…. see you then.” He hangs up the phone. I can tell he told my father that I took down the other men. I feel a little sick about taking lives, but I also hope that my father is proud.

  “So, Sparks, how was your first kill?” Mustang asks. Jackson smacks him on the arm.

  “What?!” He exclaims, “Oh, bad time?” He continues oblivious to the emotional rollercoaster I’m on. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty, but damn I do. Jackson just glares at him.

  “I’m good, just like a walk in the park, thanks for asking Stang.” I respond, dripping with sarcasm.

  “Did I kill them?” I ask Jackson.

  “I’m not sure, you took them out and that was what needed to be done.”

  I put the wipes aside and try to unzip my dress. I have a flashback of Nicholas’s hands on my back. I drop my hands and clench them together. I think everything is starting to crash along with my adrenaline. I must have made a noise because Jackson is immediately turning to look at me. My face must look how I feel. He grabs my hand.

  “Are you okay?” When I don’t respond, he softens his tone, “Sparkler, it is always hard to get over your first time.” Jackson says. Mustang starts laughing and I swear I hear him say, “That’s what she says.” Jackson gives him a death glare, which only makes him laugh harder.

  “Really, I’m fine.” I can tell I’m not convincing him. To change the subject, I turn my back towards him.

  “Do you mind unzipping me?” I ask. Jackson immediately does as I ask. I jerk away from him at his first touch. I can’t help the involuntary action. I know he noticed because he takes extra care not to touch my skin again.

  “Jackson’s getting it on with the boss’s daughter.” Mustang taunts in a sing song voice. I tense up even more.

  “Enough, Stang. That’s an order.” Jackson commands and Mustang immediately straightens up in his seat. He shoots Jackson a hostile glance.

  “Yes, sir.” He replies. I can tell he isn’t pleased, but when your leader gives an order you obey, no questions asked. We may be friends, but we all respect authority even if it comes from one of our best friends. When Jackson is done, I look over my shoulder and see him hesitate, but then he just pats me on the shoulder. He turns back around. I pull the sweatshirt over my dress and then pull the sweatpants on under my dress. I yank the dress down, over my butt, past my knees and I finally free it from my ankles. I can’t wait to burn it.

  “Hey, by the way, you have a message waiting for you when you get back.” Mustang says with a hint of a smile.

  “Yeah, who is it?” Jackson asks, showing his exhaustion in his tone.

  “A sexy red-haired vixen who wants your body bad.” Mustang says with a chuckle. Jackson’s body tenses up and I see the look he gives Mustang, but then he covers it up, relaxing again.

  “Oh yeah, well you know how it is…” Jackson jokes back. I know he can feel my eyes on the back of his head, but he refuses to acknowledge me.

  “Seriously, dude, she is smokin’. I wish I had a mission like that.” Mustang continues. I can tell Jackson is uncomfortable with this being discussed in front of me.

  “Excuse me, guys, but I really don’t want to hear about Brooklyn, right now.” I say with a huff.

  “Jealous, Sparks?” Mustang teases. Jackson gives me a quick glance. I glare at him and roll my eyes, which I seem to do a lot of when Brooklyn is mentioned.

  “Hardly, that girl is evil.” I say, leaning my head back against the backseat. I close my eyes wishing this ride was over. Mustang laughs. Jackson changes the subject and they begin discussing some mission that is taking place tonight as well.

  I block it out and find myself dozing to their low murmured voices. Next thing I know we hit a pot hole and it jerks me awake. I stay where I’m at, but I can see we are about fifteen minutes from the Dungeon. We call our training facility the Dungeon because it is seriously underground and gloomy as hell. It has all the best training equipment and modern technology, but it’s still depressing. The Dungeon is also where our headquarters are located. Jackson and Mustang are still talking low, so I close my eyes again trying to mentally prepare myself for my debrief. I’m going over the details of the mission in my head when I hear my name said in a hushed tone.

  “How did Sparks do? Being her first mission and all?” Mustang asks, more serious then I have ever heard him be before. I hold my breath and strain my ears, waiting for the response.

  “She did amazing. She held her own. What that guy did to her…. I’m positive I made it in time, but damn, no one should have to go through that on their first mission. She was a trooper though.” He pauses and I can tell he is proud of me. He continues, “She took the guys down in a blink of an eye. She definitely will be an asset to the organization.” Jackson sounds very professional, but I see Mustang give him an eyebrow raise.

  “Dude, do you have feelings for her?” He asks a little shocked.

  “No! I mean… well, yes, but not those kinds of feelings. I care about her like a little sister. I was practically raised with her.” Jackson replies, breaking my heart. Surely, that kiss wasn’t one you would give to a sister! What can I do to get him to see me the way I see him? Maybe he is just saying that because he doesn’t want Mustang to know? But why wouldn’t he want Mustang to know? Is he ashamed? God, I’m such a girl!

  I stew on that tidbit while they discuss what Nicholas did to me from Jackson’s perspective to Nicholas in general. Apparently, he is known for picking girls up like me and doing sadistic things to them. When he is through, if they make it out alive, he sells them to his brother, Alexander, in Russia. Alexander oversees the trafficking of the women. Well, at least that makes me feel better knowing that no other girl will be taken for a while. Finally, we arrive at the Dungeon entrance. I sit up, preparing myself. God give me strength to get through this debrief and even worse, my father.

  Chapter Four

  I’m sitting in a conference room surrounded by people. My father, Jackson, Mustang, my Uncle Kilson, Stan, the tech, and Lana were all talking at once. All I want to do is take a hot shower to get rid of Nicholas’s touch. Jackson is speaking the most since he was the lead on the mission even though it seems to me that I did the heavy lifting. I laugh a little and suddenly I have the attention of all the people around me. Lana, the counselor, beautician, secretary… among other jobs, throws me a pity look. I stare at her blankly. I know she is one of my father’s many mistresses. I think she is thirty or so. She looks great with a trim body and perfectly coifed black hair. She has dark brown eyes and a beautiful complexion, wrinkle free. For some unknown reason, she reminds me of Brooklyn. Maybe that’s why I don’t care for her or the fact that she is doing the dirty with my dad. Ewwww. She comes to sit by me, resting her perfectly manicured hand on my knee. I do my best to conceal my irritation.

  “Sparks, how are you doing?” She asks, kindly. I give her a blank look. If I act like I couldn’t handle the missio
n, I will never get to go on another one and I will be the pathetic society girl that my mother always wanted. This is what I want to do. Buck up, girl. Stay strong.

  “I’m fine, really. I’m just a little tired and sore. You know, my arms were up above my head for a long time. Lost some feeling there.” I say with a little chuckle. My father and Jackson exchange glances. My father gestures for me to take the stage, well, to stand up in front of the room and give my account on the mission. Okay here we go. Be cool. As graceful as I can, I make my way up to the front, placing my hands on the table. I’m trying to be professional, which is hard to do in a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and bare feet.

  “The target approached me, and I led him to believe that I was interested in being alone with him.” I skim over the beginning because Jackson saw all that and had already touched on it.

  “What happened when you were alone with him?” Lana asks gently. I control my features and only the most observant would notice the slight flinch or that my hands were turning white from pressing down on the table. I know they expect details and I deliver. I hardly take a breath in my recount. Jackson and my father’s face pale slightly at the news at how close he was to forcing sex on me. Anger shows on Jackson when I describe how he slapped me then punched me. I didn’t leave any of the dirty details out. Every move, every word that was spoken was repeated except the soul searing kiss Jackson and I shared. I blush when I get to the part where he gets me down and my eyes connect with Jackson’s. He gives me a sweet smile and I calmly tell the table that Jackson immediately got me out of the handcuffs. Thankfully, they didn’t notice I was leaving out the most important fact of the night for me. I was surprised the tech hadn’t questioned the lapse of time. I had no need to repeat the events because I know the techs had it recorded. Which made me wonder why I was telling them everything?

  “Wait,” I stopped my story, “don’t you already know all of this?” I ask, curious. My father stares down Stan. Stan makes an uncomfortable sound and pushes up his glasses. He runs a nervous hand through his light brown hair.