The Silver Dream

by Neil Gaiman

  The Wall. I just stared, taking in the faces of these Walkers who were dead and hadn’t even been born yet, already nothing more than memories even though I’d never known them.

  And then I realized I was still five halls from the infirmary, where the Wall had started. I wasn’t even past the lockers yet, and the Wall had stretched this far. And if it had grown on the other side, too…

  I wanted to protect them all, these heroes I’d never meet, these children who were just like me. I wanted to save them. I promised to the empty air that I would, somehow. Someday.

  A flash of light filled the hall for a moment, affording me a view of the Wall in all its glory. Then it faded, and I was left in darkness more pronounced than it had been before. That flash, brief as it had been, had ruined my night vision. I squinted, ducking down against the wall, my eyes on the far door. That had most likely been my helpful whatever-it-was from Josetta, though I was expecting her to send me an object—and my senses were telling me there was movement here now, something that wasn’t me. I wished I had a blaster. Or an emitter. I’d have settled for a sharp stick at this point.

  The dust motes visible in the fading light swirled in agitation as something moved in the doorway, a dark shape I could only partially see. I stayed absolutely still, watching and waiting as it hovered in the darkness, then bobbed forward—and then I recognized it.

  “Hue!” I’d never been so glad to see anything in my life. My little mudluff friend brightened, becoming luminescent in the dimness; it was like having a balloon that also happened to be a lamp.

  I ran forward, unabashedly throwing my arms around him, but he squeezed through my grasp, turning an apologetic powder blue. All but part of him, actually—there was a patch about the size of my hand that remained reddish, unchanged despite his other colors. If he were human, I’d’ve said it looked like a burn.

  “Are you hurt, Hue?” He bobbed slightly, then stretched out a little, as he’d done in the In-Between when he’d protected me from J/O’s laser. “Oh…I’m sorry, buddy. You saved me, though.” He turned a pleased pink—all but that one patch—and started to bob back down the hall toward the port room.

  “Where are you going?” He stopped, bobbed again, then continued, obviously expecting me to follow. I hesitated. “Are you taking me back to InterWorld? I mean, my InterWorld?” He brightened. I hesitated.

  I wanted to go back, believe me. I wanted to erase the memory of this broken, falling-down base, go back to the reality of my classes and my little dorm room and my classmates. I wanted to see the mess hall all lit up, even if it was full of Walkers asking me about my girlfriend—which she sure as hell wasn’t now—but as surely as I knew I wanted to go back, I also knew I couldn’t. Not yet.

  “Wait, Hue. I can’t go back there yet.” He paused, hovering uncertainly. If I went back, they’d detain and question me. They’d ask where I’d gone and why, and I’d have to explain about Acacia, and I wasn’t sure what I could tell them about Jay. I wasn’t even sure what I could tell them about Acacia.

  “Acacia said it isn’t safe there,” I hedged, trying for a version of the truth. Hue flickered uncertainly. “I don’t know why, but I have to find out. I have to go where she is. You can do that, can’t you? That’s why Josetta sent you to me. You’re a multidimensional life-form, and the In-Between exists in all times. Time is a dimension, too, in that sense. It was the first place Acacia ever took me. The In-Between, in a different time. Can you get there, too?”

  Colors were swirling uncertainly across Hue’s surface, and I got the impression he was thinking. “I know Josetta told you to bring me back, but she doesn’t know what’s going on. There’s danger there, and I don’t know what it is. I have to find Acacia so she can tell me.” That was only mostly true. I certainly didn’t want to go back to TimeWatch, but anything was better than InterWorld—then or now. I couldn’t help anyone if I was thrown in jail or kicked out again. Once I got to the In-Between, I’d…well, I’d think of something.

  “Please, Hue?” The colors swirled faster, mingling into a muddy brown that slowly shifted to a lighter red. He wasn’t happy about this, but he’d do it. I hoped.

  His form shifted, becoming less spherical and more…liquid. He filtered down to the floor, crawling across it to my feet, and sort of…stretched up over me. I was reminded of when I’d put on Jay’s encounter suit, after he’d died. I’d been afraid, then, as it swarmed up over my body; I was less afraid now because I knew Hue, because I trusted him, but it was still unnerving.

  It felt like someone was covering me in Silly Putty, if you can imagine that. Or like being painted on, except he wasn’t cold or anything. He was no temperature at all, which just contributed to the oddness.

  I looked toward the Wall as Hue surged over my shoulders, my neck, my mouth. The sun had crept down past the jagged window, the last dying rays illuminating the first note I’d seen. I’m sorry, I thought as the world around me faded. I’m so sorry.

  In retrospect, it may have been smarter to go back to InterWorld. I might have been detained for questioning, but at least I could have gotten some more equipment. I’d been traipsing about the Altiverse without even so much as a one-shot blaster glove for the last few days, and I was getting really tired of having to improvise weapons. I likely wouldn’t have been as irritated if there’d been any weapons around for me to improvise with, but currently, the best I had was a wooden chair.

  “You have to go!” Acacia shouted again, still struggling to free herself from the wires wrapping themselves around her. “Get out of here!”

  Though I’d expected Hue to just carry me through the In-Between, to teleport me or whatever he’d done to save me from HEX, nothing had happened when he’d fully enveloped me. Well, nothing except for the fact that I could see the zeptoseconds. It was like looking through a kaleidoscope that made string theory look like connect the dots. He wasn’t leading me so much as he was allowing me to see the path. And I’d found, while Hue was wrapped around me like a second skin, that I could Walk anywhere. Time, space, relativity—it was all the same, just a hop, skip, and a jump away.

  I’d looked back and seen time, seen where I belonged, and leaped millennia in a single bound. It felt like taking my first steps.

  I’d had the impression of InterWorld—not like I was actually flying over it, but just like I knew it was there, I was aware of it, like when you know without looking that someone’s standing next to you. I knew it was there and full of me, full of my para-incarnations, but it was hazy. Something hung over it, a miasma I’d felt before, when my team and I had been captive on the Malefic, when we’d found the souls of dead Walkers, trapped in jars and powering the ship….

  The energy crackled in the air like static, and I could follow it. Like a hound tracing a scent, I followed it back to its source. I should have known it all along.

  Earth FΔ986. Where we’d “rescued” Joaquim.

  He was already there when I Walked in, power swirling around him like electricity. We were in the very same room we’d rescued him from; he was standing near the window Jo had crashed through to get them to safety, some strange kind of energy vibrating in the air. The entire building was pulsing like a heartbeat, like a thousand heartbeats.

  “Hi, Joey,” he’d said with a smile, and then I’d seen Acacia.

  She was restrained by wires and circuitry, held tightly against the far wall and looking like she’d seen better days. I’d seen her because she’d called out, her voice far stronger than she looked. It was probably the anger that gave her strength.

  “Joe-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-here?” It was almost all one word, discernible only by the slight emphasis on my name and the mild expletive.

  Well, if being pissed at me was helping keep her conscious, I was more than willing to play along. I wasn’t too pleased with her either, frankly.

  “Just trying to find out why you betrayed me, Casey. Seems to be a lot of that going around.” I glanced at Joaquim, who frown
ed.

  “I’m sorry.” Joaquim said, then turned as Acacia began to struggle and spew curses. “Please be quiet,” he said politely, though it was followed by a pulse of energy from the wires. She did, though not until after giving a strangled, pained noise that made my stomach constrict in sympathy. It was about right then that I started wishing I’d stopped to get a weapon.

  Hue was no longer wrapped around me; I was vaguely aware of his presence, though I couldn’t see him anywhere. All I had on me was the shield disk—fully charged still, since I hadn’t used it for anything save my attempted escape from TimeWatch, and we remember how well that went—and the flag I’d intended to give as tribute to Jerzy’s Wall. Joaquim, however, was armed with a blaster and that weird miasma thing surrounding him. It looked a little like a nebula—like he was standing in the middle of a star field, but there was something too sinister about it to be beautiful. It was familiar but subtly terrifying—like a nightmare you’ve had ever since you were a kid, the one you can’t quite remember until you’re almost asleep. I wasn’t sure what it could do other than make my skin crawl, but I wasn’t looking forward to finding out.

  “I’m really glad you’re not actually one of us,” I told him, trying to ignore the way Acacia was struggling to raise her head again. “I didn’t like you from the beginning.”

  “Basic Training section three oh one: Improvisational Tactics for Hostage Situations, chapter two, Emotional Warfare—try to get a rise out of your opponent.” He smiled, looking both apologetic and horribly, infuriatingly smug. I hoped I never looked like that when I felt smug. “I am one of you, Joey.”

  “You can’t be. I’d never betray us!” There was more I’d been intending to say, but he laughed, cutting me off.

  “Yes, you would. If you had reason enough, if you knew it was the only way—you would, in a second.”

  “Never,” I said passionately, though the tiniest bit of doubt made itself known in my mind. I would never hurt any of my para-incarnations or InterWorld—but would I betray them to save them, if I had to? I honestly didn’t know—but I argued anyway, anger burning white-hot in my stomach. All his kind words about believing me, about wanting to hurry up and work with the team…“You can’t be one of us. One of us could never betray us. We’d know. We’d feel it. We’re not just cousins or siblings, we’re…” I struggled to find something poetic to say, something that would drive the point home, but he was laughing. He was laughing, and it was hard to hold on to that belief when all the evidence to the contrary was right there in front of me.

  “Are you trying to convince me? Sense it, Joey. I am one of you—you can feel it.” He smiled again, spreading his arms and taking a step toward me—and this is where the scene started, with Acacia shouting for me to go. I mentioned I had a wooden chair, right? That’s because they were next to the window, and so was Joaquim, and the window was still shattered from our daring “rescue.”

  I activated my shield disk, sprinting toward him. He half turned, stretching out a hand, and Acacia shouted again. I’d assumed he’d go for his blaster, but all he did was smirk at me, the star field coalescing around his fingers, sparking in the palm of his hand. I felt hot all over, but whatever he’d done didn’t stop me. I grabbed up a chair and swung it full force as I ran. It hit him square on, knocking him clear off his feet and out the window behind him. I was just sorry the glass had already been shattered. That would have been more satisfying, though it did give me something I could use to free Acacia.

  I ran over to her, slicing at the wires with a long shard of glass. Some of them were thick cables, others were just telephone wire; those cut easily and she was able to wriggle free.

  I somehow expected a thank-you or at least a nod, maybe, before she started telling me what to do.

  I didn’t expect a slap in the face.

  “What was that for?”

  “Calling me Casey,” she snapped, but then she hugged me. I didn’t really have time to enjoy it, since I was still reeling from the slap and she only had her arms around me for a second before she pulled back, looking like she might slap me again. “You weren’t supposed to be here, I told you to—”

  “You didn’t tell me anything, Acacia. You stabbed me in the back and kidnapped me, not to mention stranding me—”

  “I didn’t stab you,” she protested.

  “Semantics! You still—”

  “It doesn’t matter, will you just shut up for a—”

  “Aren’t you two adorable?” Joaquim’s voice rang out, louder and somehow…fuller than it had been before. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as the room filled with power, a wind picking up from seemingly nowhere. I automatically got in front of Acacia—she elbowed me in the ribs, which were still bruised and aching, thank you very much—and shifted around to stand next to me. We both looked to the window.

  Joaquim was just outside it, and he was sort of…flying. Well, hovering. He was suspended in midair just outside the window, hundreds of little blue sparks flying around him so quickly it looked like he had a force field of some kind. They reflected in the shattered glass still clinging to the window frame and on the floor, creating a dizzying whirlwind of light, like he was the center of a solar system.

  “Poor Captain Harker,” Joaquim said, still just…hanging out there, in the air. “He misses you terribly sometimes,” he told Acacia, his expression turning, for a moment, genuinely sympathetic. “I don’t blame him, knowing what will happen.”

  I glanced at Acacia, looking for some sort of recognition or understanding. She just looked uncertain.

  “What are you talking about?” she said. “You can’t possibly know the future—you’re just a Walker.”

  Affronted as I was by the just a Walker comment, I was equally affronted that she’d make that statement about Joaquim. “He’s not a Walker.”

  “Wrong,” Joaquim said. “Both of you. You’re both wrong. I have the energy of Captain Joseph Harker flowing through me, and that includes some of his memories. You were very dear to him, you know.”

  Acacia remained silent, stunned and uncertain, but I wasn’t paying attention to her. I wasn’t paying attention to Joaquim anymore, either. I was looking at the little blue lights, the whirlwind of static and emotion surrounding him. I was feeling the way the wind was warm and sparking with purpose. I was remembering the last time I’d seen little blue lights like that, and I was suddenly sick with knowing.

  I was looking at the souls of dead Walkers.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “ARE YOU FEELING OKAY, Joey? You look a little dizzy.” It was hard to tell whether he was being snide or genuine, but I really didn’t care.

  “You’re making me sick,” I tried, but the truth was I felt a little dizzy. I was too warm, and my limbs were too heavy. I was tired, and reeling from the knowledge that Joaquim wasn’t one of us, he was all of us. All the Walkers who’ve ever been captured…

  “You finally get it.” He was still smiling at me, the little blue lights—the souls—whirling around him and carrying him back through the shattered window. His feet touched the ground and the souls stopped whirling so fast, though there was still a spark in the air, a muted excitement. We’re free, they exulted. Use us! We can help! I wondered if they even knew what they were being used for, that they were made to be traitors just like him. I doubted there was enough of them left to know.

  “Where did you get them?” I edged my feet a little further apart, trying to regain my center of gravity. The floor seemed to be rolling beneath me just a little, like I was on a ship amid a calm sea. HEX kept their Walkers captive in jars, after they’d boiled them down to their very essences…but we weren’t dealing with HEX now; this was Binary. Unmistakably so. Binary carbon-froze the Walkers they caught, plugged them into something like a giant battery, and used their energy that way. Could Joaquim have once been a Walker? I wasn’t sure that was possible….

  “Everywhere.” Joaquim spread his arms to either side, his gaze se
eming to burn through mine. “Here and there, all of space and time. Anywhere a Walker’s died, with the technology of Binary and—”

  “Enough, child.” Next to me, Acacia turned—and I felt her go rigid, though I couldn’t quite muster the energy to turn and look. In a moment I didn’t have to, for the figure came into my view.

  I’d been face-to-face with Lord Dogknife, the leader of HEX. I’d stared right at him and somehow hadn’t flinched, even when I’d smelled dead things on his breath and seen maggots crawling across his teeth. I’d looked him in the eye and demanded he give me what I wanted, and what was more, I’d gotten out of it alive. I’m not bragging; I need you to understand what I mean when I say I shouldn’t have been afraid of this man.

  He wasn’t very tall, and looked kind of like a cross between your dorky science teacher and the small kid who always gets picked last for the team. He wore clunky brown shoes and completely unwrinkled tan pants, a tweed jacket, and a bow tie. And Coke-bottle glasses. And behind those glasses, there was nothing but static.

  I’m serious. You know how when your cable TV is disconnected and there’s nothing but static on the screen? You know how they use it for horror movies all the time, with people seeing things in it? His eyes were like that. No pupils, nothing. Just static.

  I could still tell he was looking at me.

  “Yes, Professor.” Joaquim’s voice cut smoothly through the hypnotic effect of those eyes, and I blinked rapidly. My eyes burned like I’d been staring at a computer screen for hours.

  Professor. This was the Professor. 01101. Leader of the Binary.

  Behind us, through the door the Professor had come in from, a dozen or so Binary clones took up position around the room. The Professor regarded us, the tweed and glasses and bow tie all striking me as absurdly unfunny.

  “Have you finished draining him yet?”

  “Not yet, Professor. I’ve made the connection.”