Home Forever

by Cee Bowerman

  “How big is your fucking cat? That’s almost as much as you gave the dog.” Now, both Sam’s eyebrows were up. “And since when are you a cat person?”

  “She’s bigger than normal, and I don’t really know that I am a cat person. I saw her, and I am pretty sure she forced me with her dark powers to adopt her. I got her in the house and haven’t seen her since. I’m hoping the food will coax her out of hiding.” Or she would kill me in my sleep because this wasn’t what she wanted to eat. That was also a possibility, although I didn’t mention that to Sam. No sense scaring him when our deaths were inevitable.

  I sat the cat food on the floor and then moved to the fridge.

  “Another beer?” I offered. Chandler and Zeke had left for a few minutes earlier to stock up my beer selection after they had plowed through the few in Zeke’s fridge. I didn’t tell them that was unnecessary since Joe had cases of beer stocked in the garage under my work table. No sense getting into that one.

  “I’ll take one. You want some wine while I drink my beer?” He asked.

  “Not a drinker. But it doesn’t bother me at all if people around me drink.” I explained.

  “Dried yourself up, huh? You and the coven used to chug whatever was handy. You were a whole lot of fun when you were tipsy, Sweetheart.” He smiled that half grin that still melted me.

  “That story goes with tomorrow’s adventures and tales.” Still, with the grin, he was killing me.

  “Can’t wait. So. Let’s get comfy and get to know each other. Tour of your house?” he wanted to see my house. I loved saying that. My house. I reached for his hand and we walked toward my office. We took a few steps and he tugged my hand to stop me.

  “Listen.” he whispered. He wrapped his arms around my waist and put his face down in my neck. My arms automatically went around his neck. He swayed slowly with me to the song playing on my system. Pictures of You by The Cure. “Remember this, baby? I had to work myself up for a minute to get the balls to ask you to dance. But you said yes. Remember? And then we were both gone for each other.”

  “I remember.” I whispered. I leaned my head back and he moved his face from my neck. We swayed for another minute or with our faces close. Finally, he tilted his head a fraction and laid a soft kiss on my lips. No pressure. He pulled back and rubbed the side of his nose against mine. I could smell him. A mixture of the beer he was drinking, his cologne, shampoo, a faint hint of the leather that was left on his shirt from his jacket. We swayed to the song and when it ended he kissed me one more time. Softly. Then he reached up and took my hands from his neck and held both of my hands with his. This man was killing me.

  “You are scaring me to death, Sam Sam. You’re here and you’re loving and soft and so sweet. You don’t hate me, and I knew you would. You’re here with me, we’re snuggling and laughing with our friends, you’re making me smile and making me see what I have missed. Somewhere deep, I know you hated me for leaving you. Hell, I hated me for leaving you.” I was looking in his eyes for some sign that this was a calm before the storm, but I couldn’t find it. All I saw was Sam, and the way he looked at me when we were young. “I don’t want this to be tonight, but then tomorrow it all gets jerked away from me again. I can tell you right now that it damn near killed me then, but I know it would kill me now.”

  “It hurt me, baby. I’m not gonna lie. I searched high and low for you. All of us did. You were smoke. I knew there had to be a reason but that didn’t help me handle it. I just wanted you. I waited and waited. I went through everything. I didn’t believe it. Then I did. Then I was mad. God I was so mad at you, at everyone. I left for a while, didn’t come back much. Finally, I realized that not only did I not have you, but I didn’t have my brothers or Kari or my Dad and that made the hurt even worse. Shit happened with Kari and I came home and got settled and found a routine. Then shit with my Dad, he was sick and needed us around him. I never stopped looking for you. I mean every time I was in a crowd and I saw red hair I went on alert thinking maybe it was you. But, it never was.” He picked one of my hands up and kissed my knuckles. “I’m not gonna try and lie and tell you I was a saint who went to bed alone every night. I wasn’t. But, none of them were you, so I didn’t let any one of them stay til the morning. It’s always been you there with me when I woke up. That little bit where you are almost awake, and everything is calm, I thought of you then.”

  I was crying. Silent tears coursing down my cheeks and dropping to my shirt. Sam reached up with both hands and wiped his thumbs across my cheeks to dry them.

  “Don’t cry sweetheart. We just met. It’s time to get to know each other. So, show me your house.” He took my hand again and turned to the office door.

  10.

  Sam and I were lying face to face in my bed, close but not quite touching with our bodies. My hands were on his chest, smoothing his shirt and fiddling with the edge against his neck. One of his arms was under my pillow and the other was down with his hand on my hip. I had showed him my house, the office really the only thing there was to see. He had been in the kitchen and the living room. The guest room and bathroom weren’t much, just empty space. He was most curious about my office with the maps on the walls, the lists of names and places with diagrams connecting them together. To him they looked random, but I saw that they were the basis of my livelihood, the maps of the words that I put on paper.

  “So, you are a writer?” He asked again.

  “Yes. That’s me. My 9 to 5.” I answered with a smile. “Not glamorous, but it’s a helluva lot of fun. I spent years making up good lives for imaginary people in my head, then I realized I could write them down and share their lives with others. I get my shit done on schedule and everyone is happy, and I can get the stories out of my head. Then I can play with my dog, hang out with Lisa or now, well, I can work on my house.”

  “And now, also, you can spend time with me. What does Lisa do for you?” he asked. I had told him she was my assistant, but really, she was so much more.

  “Well, not to go into too much detail of the why, yet, but I was very sick for a while and she helped me through that with talking to doctors and therapists and all the other stuff that comes with a long hospital stay. When I got out she was my driver, my nurse, my therapist and the person I could talk to because Joe was, well, not there.” That was a vague answer, but we had already decided to do the heavy stuff tomorrow.

  “How did you meet her? Lisa.” his thumb was distracting, rubbing back and forth over the waistband of my jeans but under the hem of my shirt.

  “She was my neighbor. We would sit on our balconies and talk to each other, sometimes for hours. We became friends. She was in a bad way with no escape and she wouldn’t let me help her. But we had our balcony time and that was the best part of our days. I was just starting to write and had published my third book under a pen name. I would discuss plots with her, and the way I thought my next book should go. She listened. She gave advice. She reminded me of things that I needed to do. When I finished a chapter, I would print it out and she would read through it and make corrections or discuss where it was leading and how it could be better.” I could tell his eyes were starting to droop, and so were mine. “Then just when I needed her, she left her house for the first time since I had known her and she saved me. Me and Joe. But, she couldn’t save Sheila.”

  “I really want to know they how’s and why’s baby. But now what I need is for my girl to snuggle into me the way only she can do so I can sleep sound for the first time in ten years. Can we do that?” He asked softly.

  “There is nothing that would make me happier, Sam Sam.” I rolled over so my back was to him and scooted back to fit myself into his body.

  After I curved myself into him his hand came around my waist and pulled me even closer. His head dipped down to the curve of my neck and he took a deep breath and kissed me there.

  “I love you, Carles. So much.” he whispered.

  “I love you too, my Sam Sam.” I smiled as I let my eyes d
rift shut.

  ~*~

  “What the fuck? Holy shit! Jesus!” Sam jumped out of bed. “What the fuck is that?”

  I jolted awake, knifed up out of the bed, grabbed my side quickly because of a shooting pain and then I turned to look at Sam. He was staring at the corner of the bed with a horrified look on his face. I turned my head to see Freddie sitting on the corner of the bed with her tail wrapped around her legs holding a dead bird in her mouth. She dropped the bird on my comforter and growled once before she jumped down and headed out the bedroom door, passing Sam on her way. I shrieked and scrambled up the bed until my back was half up the headboard.

  “What is that?” Sam yelled as Freddie passed him on her way to the door. He bumped into my nightstand and made the lamp wobble.

  “Holy shit! It’s dead. Get it off my bed! What the fuck!” I screamed as I bumped my head on the headboard.

  “What the fuck was that?” Sam roared.

  “Get it off my bed, Sam!” I was standing now. And screaming.

  “Jesus! What the fuck!” obviously, he was still roaring, and also obviously he was not removing the dead body from the foot of my bed.

  “Good lord, kids. It’s a dead bird. Jeez.” Lisa walked in with a grocery bag around one hand, holding another bag with her other hand.

  She walked around Sam to the end of the bed and plucked the dead bird up with the covered hand and dropped the carcass into the open sack. She wiggled the bag off her free hand landing it also inside the open one and then used both hands to tie the bag in a not. The bag. The one with a dead bird in it.

  “I’ll need to put disposable gloves on my grocery list. I did some research when I woke up this morning and realized that you, my friend, are now the proud owner of a Maine Coon Cat. Hence the size. And, they are proficient hunters. They also will express their gratitude by bringing you gifts. I realized this morning when I came out of my house that Freddie knows how to use Tuff’s doggie door, and obviously after that she killed something so she could bring it to you as a gift. It’s kind of sweet. It’s good to know that she isn’t actually Satan, she is supposed to look like that.”

  “Sweet? That was sweet?” Sam yelled. “That was a fucking cat?” He was looking up at me since I was still standing on my bed.

  Lisa was standing still, staring at Sam. Maybe because she thought he was going to have a breakdown. Maybe because he was shirtless, and I had a fleeting thought about where the hell his shirt was because he was wearing it last night, but then I also noticed he was covered in tattoos and my mouth got dry and then I realized that my Sam was standing next to my bed in his faded jeans with the top button undone. That long list of thoughts hit me rapidly. It was a tossup why Lisa was staring, really, but I was going to lean towards the shirtless side just in case. I was staring because he was Sam. And he was shirtless in my bedroom. And I was awake because there was a dead bird, Sam was here, and I was not dreaming. I was awake. And did I mention he was shirtless in my bedroom?

  I started laughing so hard it hurt my stomach, but I couldn’t stop. I fell to my knees on the bed. The look on his face was priceless. He was so stunned at the sight of Freddie, and the dead bird, that he was breathing heavy and had put both of his hands through his hair and held them there. Lisa started to giggle, standing there holding my dead prize and finally Sam joined us. He sat on the side of the bed and was bent over double with laughter.

  Lisa laughed louder and then she snorted, and our laughter got loud again.

  “Better pick me up and get me moving than coffee, that’s for damn sure. Shit.” Sam wheezed out.

  “The look on your face. And Carlie’s. God. I just can’t.” Lisa laughed again. “Shit. I have to pee.”

  “Sam, you damn near shit yourself. Oh God. That was fucking awesome.” I sat up with my legs crossed and my elbows on my knees. Sam sat up and turned so one leg was stretched on the bed, the other foot on the floor.

  “Okay. So, moving on.” She got down to business. “There are people here. People I don’t know. But I think they are okay because they look an awful lot like him.” She pointed to Sam. “His brother is here, and I don’t know what Wine Lisa said but he is looking at me funny. Not sure how to take that.

  He keeps calling me a fairy. And I’m not trying to offend, but if you look anything like he does when your hair is cut off then you should get on that.”

  “Lisa baby, they are identical twins. They’re gonna look alike.” I told her.

  Lisa looked from me to Sam, then her gaze fell to his bare chest and stayed there. “Sweet little baby Jesus you have got to be kidding me. There are two of that?” She said it in a whisper, but as soon as she realized it was out of her mouth her face got red and she jumped from her seat at the foot of the bed and was all business again.

  “Lisa, do you want me to get Zeke to take his shirt off so you can make sure they’re identical?” I asked with a wicked grin.

  “Bite me, bitch. Now, moving on. People. Back porch. They brought bagels and coffees. That’s not the biggest news.” I was off the bed heading to the bathroom to check my face and brush my teeth. “Joe is out there talking to them. Nicely. And he is drinking coffee out of his mug.”

  I put the toothbrush in my mouth and pushed its button. The look on my face expressed my question.

  Lisa reached into her back pocket and handed Sam a new toothbrush still in its wrapper. He grabbed it and headed into the bathroom.

  “Yes. You heard me right. It’s really coffee in the cup, I swear. I poured it in there!” she waved the dead bird bag around, realized what she was doing and put it back to her side. “I’m going to get rid of the bloody evidence and meet you in the kitchen. Shit to do, woman. Let’s get to it.”

  I flipped her off as she walked away, and Sam laughed at me through his toothpaste. We both finished, spit and rinsed. I ran a brush through my hair and handed the brush to him when I was finished. I pulled my hair back started a braid while he used the brush and then splashed water on his face and beard, smoothing it out after sleep. Our morning routine finished I turned to the bathroom door to see who was on my porch. As I passed him he reached out and grabbed my hand, swinging me back his way.

  “Did you see that?” his face was close to mine.

  “What?” I was confused.

  “You, me, waking up laughing then back to our old routine. We brush teeth, you brush, I brush, we both grab some clothes and off we go. Ring any bells?” He wiggled his eyebrows, “All we are missing is our shower.”

  “Hmmm. You are right. I have guests though, so the shower will have to wait a click. Then I’m in there.” I can wiggle my brows too.

  “Let’s see what the morning has for us. Has to be Jace and Kari on the porch. And Zeke. So, the fairy is ready to lead him on a merry chase. My money is on him, by the way.” His face got closer to mine.

  “Did you mean it last night?” I asked. Maybe it just slipped out when he was right at the edge of sleep. Maybe it was habit from when we used to be together.

  Sam leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. He put his hands in my hair at my neck and tilted my head where he wanted it. I felt his tongue touch my lips and I let out a little gasp. He took that as an invitation and made the kiss a knee melting real one. I gave it back as good as I got and by the time he pulled back we were both out of breath.

  He put his forehead down to mine. “I love you, baby. Always have. Always will.”

  “I love you too, my Sam Sam.” I answered with a smile.

  “Now, woman, get your fine ass outside and greet the family.” he spun me toward the door with his hand and as I walked he smacked me on my ass. “Get gone.”

  I walked out on the porch behind Sam and saw Jace and Kari leaned against the rail with Zeke. They were standing side by side, with Kari in the middle. She looked so tiny there in the middle of her brothers.

  Jace was taller than Zeke and Sam by at least an inch. Like Sam he had long brown hair and a full beard. His shoulders were just as wi
de, tapering down to his waist. The faded black tshirt molded to his body and tucked into his faded jeans. He wore a black belt and there was a chain going from the belt loop back over his hip to the back pocket, attached to his wallet I knew, and on his feet were black boots, a men’s version of my favorites.

  Kari, so much smaller than her brothers, had the same coloring. The same wavy brown hair, thick and shiny. Her hair was pulled back from her face in a braid down her back. Wisps were coming out around her face, letting me know that she had ridden on a motorcycle to my house either with Jace or on one by herself. Kari, just a little younger than me, had a hard look in her eyes. But, that was not what shocked me. I expected her anger and maybe even hatred. The scar going from her hairline at her temple and slicing down almost to the corner of her mouth was not there when I knew her before. It didn’t mar her beauty, if anything it made it more intense, such an ugly scar but in the middle of such beauty it was nothing.

  My gaze moved to Zeke and I saw that he, at least, was smiling.

  “Did you see a mouse, brother, and have to scream like a widdle biddy baby?” now his smile was even bigger, showing all his teeth and both dimples.

  “Yeah. What was that shit? Hand over your man-card, big brother. You’re outta the club.” Jace actually smiled just a little.

  No smile or words from Kari. She was still staring at me with not quite an angry expression, more of a blank one.

  “Man. No shit. She has a cat. It’s not a cat really, I don’t think. That fucker scared the hell out of me. I woke up and it was staring at me like I was next after that dead bird it had in it’s mouth. And it wasn’t a small bird. It was big. And it was dead. And I think the cat is the fucking devil, man. Fucking serious. The devil.” At that, Kari’s lip quirked up and she looked at her brother.