Get Anyone to Do Anything

by David J. Lieberman

  Strategy Review

  • To use conundrum, simply introduce a piece of evidence and see how he handles it. Just make sure that he would have direct knowledge of what you’re talking about if in fact his story is true. Make sure that this “evidence” is something that’s plausible but not true, then sit back and see whether he’s fast with the correct response. If he hesitates, changes the subject, and/or gives the wrong answer to your question, then you’re not getting the truth.

  9

  How to Tell if Someone Is Trying to Manipulate You

  The Seven Deadly Tricks to Watch Out For

  From the bedroom to the boardroom learn how to see clearly and easily evaluate information without being swayed by those with selfish interests and unkind intentions. The manipulator’s bag of tricks is stocked with seven deadly tactics that can have you jumping through hoops. The good news is that by knowing what they are, you can watch out for them, and...never be manipulated again!

  These powerful manipulators are: guilt, intimidation, appeal to ego, fear, curiosity, our desire to be liked, and love. Anyone who uses any of these is attempting to move you from logic to emotion—to a playing field that’s not so level. He knows that he can’t win on the facts so he will try to manipulate your emotions with any one or a combination of the tactics below.

  • Guilt: “How can you even say that? I’m hurt that you wouldn’t trust me. I just don’t know who you are anymore.”

  Intimidation: “What’s the matter, can’t you make a decision? Don’t you have enough confidence in yourself to do this?”

  • Appeal to Ego: “I can see that you’re a smart person. I wouldn’t try to put anything past you. How could I? You’d be on to me in a second.”

  • Fear: “You know, you might just lose this whole thing. I sure hope you know what you’re doing. I’m telling you that you won’t get a better deal anywhere else. This is your last shot at making things work out; why do you want to risk losing out on being happy?”

  • Curiosity: “Look, you only live once. Try it. You can always go back to how things were before. It might be fun, exciting—a real adventure. You’ll never know unless you try and you may regret never even seeing what happens.”

  • Our Desire to Be Liked: “I thought you were a real player. So did everybody else. This is going to be a real disappointment if you don’t come through for us. Come on, nobody likes it when a person backs out...this can be your chance to prove what you’re made of.”

  • Love: “If you loved me you wouldn’t question me. Of course I have only your best interests at heart. I wouldn’t lie to you. You know that deep down inside, don’t you? We can have a wonderful relationship if only you’d let yourself go and experience the wonders that the future will deliver to us.”

  Strategy Review

  • Look and listen objectively—not only to the words but also to the message. These abusive maneuvers interfere with your ability to digest the facts. When these emotions creep into your thinking, temporarily suspend your feelings and look at the messenger as well as the message. If you hear anything that sounds like these manipulators, stop and reevaluate the situation. Don’t act quickly and emotionally. Wait and objectively gather the facts so you don’t become a hand puppet for the malevolent.

  10

  How to Tell if a Person’s Bluffing in Any Situation

  http://getanyonetodoanything.us/vid00049.html

  How would you like to know if the guy sitting across the poker table from you really has a full house or just a pair of deuces? Or if your top executive is serious about quitting if he doesn’t get a raise? There is a way to tell just about anytime, in any situation, if someone is bluffing because no matter what the situation all bluffs have one thing in common.

  To understand how this works let’s define what a bluff really is. A bluff occurs when a person is really against something but pretends to be for it. Or when he is for something and pretends to be against it. Consequently, when a person bluffs he usually tries to appear as if he doesn’t care when he really does, and he pretends to be concerned when he really isn’t.

  In any case, he is trying to create a false impression intended to disguise his true belief. Therein lies the key: People who bluff generally overcompensate, in either direction, and if you look for it, it’s glaringly obvious.

  You can uncover a bluff instantly by noticing how someone tries to appear. A card player bets heavily and raises the pot. Does he have the cards or just guts? When bluffing—in this case, in a poker hand—he wants to show that he’s not timid. So he puts in his money fast. But if he did have a good hand, what might he do? That’s right, deliberate a bit, putting it in slowly to show that he isn’t really sure about his hand. When people bluff at anything, in poker or in the real world, they manipulate how confident they appear. This means that they try to create the opposite impression of how they truly feel.

  Again, while bluffing, and in trying to appear confident, he bets quickly. And when he has a good hand he will actually wait a moment or two to pretend that he’s thinking about what to do. This goes for all situations. If he reacts too quickly and assuredly then he is trying to show that he is confident, when in many cases he really isn’t.

  Let’s take another example. A partner in a law firm says he’s going to leave unless he is allowed to take on a certain case. Is it a hollow threat or the real McCoy? If it was genuine, he would likely not make a point of trying to convey his confidence. However, an air of overconfidence will be easily observed if he is bluffing. This is, of course, because we have to assume that if he’s at the firm then he wants to be there. And that he will only be “forced” to leave if he doesn’t get what he’s asking for. So logic dictates that he would rather stay and get the case than not get it and leave. Therefore, if he appears overly committed to the idea of leaving if he doesn’t get the case, then he’s bluffing—because we know that he really doesn’t want to leave, but is trying to create that impression.

  If he is sincere in his stance that he will leave if he doesn’t get his way, then he will appear almost reluctant and not overly confident in his stance because he’s not pleased that it has come down to this. He’s more solemn because he knows that he will have to leave if it comes down to it. But if he was bluffing, it won’t come down to anything, because he’s not leaving! The attitudes of both are completely different and make it clear whether it’s a bluff or the real thing.

  To understand the psychology behind this, we need only look at how people handle themselves in general. A person who has high self-esteem and confidence in himself is not the one going around showing the world how great he is. It’s the insecure person who puts on airs of confidence, almost arrogance, to compensate for how he really feels about himself. He is, in fact, trying to convey a “false self.” And as we’ve just illustrated, this is identical and true for specific situations as well.

  In a negotiation the person who keeps saying things such as, “I’m gonna walk; you have to do right by me; I’m not settling on this one: you’re going to lose me,” is not going anywhere...he’s bluffing. Confidence in one’s position usually speaks for itself. Just as a person’s confidence in himself speaks for itself. It’s the insecure who has to tell you how confident he is because that’s the only way that we’re going to find out. If, however, you hear something similar to the following phrases in a negotiation, they likely reflect a person who is sincere, and who is not bluffing: “I’m sorry that you feel that way; no hard feelings; I don’t think so, but let me give it some thought.” Remember that the confident person—the one who is not bluffing—isn’t interested in how he’s coming across. He’s unconcerned with his image, unlike his bluffing counterpart, who is consumed by others’ perceptions of him.

  Strategy Review

  • Uncover a bluff instantly by noticing how the person tries to appear. A person who is bluffing will always overcompensate to create the illusion that he is 100 percent behind his convictions.

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p; 11

  How to See Through People

  In Two Minutes Get Anyone to Reveal What They’re Really Up To

  If you’re tired of being deceived and taken advantage of, this psychological technique will allow you to actually look into a person’s mind to find out if he’s hiding anything.

  The tactic, which I first introduced in my book Never Be Lied to Again, virtually guarantees that you can find out if he’s got something to hide, within minutes. It’s called similar scenario and it works like a Rorschach test or what is commonly referred to as an inkblot test. The Rorschach test consists of abstract bilaterally symmetrical inkblots. The theory behind the test is that a person’s interpretation of the shapes will reveal his or her unconscious attitudes and thoughts. With similar scenario we use the same theory but employ it in an entirely new way—verbally.

  What you want to do is to ask a question that does not accuse the person of anything but rather alludes to it. Then by simply gauging his response you’ll be able to find out if he’s got something to hide.

  For instance let’s say that a woman suspects her husband of having an affair with his secretary. Casually, maybe over dinner, she would say, “Gee, you know what, honey? My boss, Jim, I think he may be having an affair with his secretary.” Now she simply observes his reaction. If he asks questions and becomes interested in the conversation she can be reasonably sure that he’s not doing the same thing. But if he becomes very uncomfortable and looks to change the subject, then it’s likely he’s engaged in a similar behavior. And she will notice this immediate shift in his demeanor and attitude.

  Typically, when faced with this situation we confront the person, which of course puts him on the defensive. If it turns out that we’re wrong, there’s a good chance that we may appear as paranoid or jealous and the relationship may suffer. With this technique we’re able to bring up a particular subject and find out if he’s comfortable or concerned with the topic, and all without making a single accusation.

  Let’s look at another example. You think one of your salespeople is stealing office supplies. Asking outright, “Have you been stealing from the company?” is going to put her on the defensive immediately, making it nearly impossible to get to the truth. If she isn’t guilty she’ll tell you that she hasn’t been stealing. And if she is, she’ll likely lie and say she’s isn’t. So instead you simply say, “Jill, I’m wondering if you could help me with something. It’s come to my attention that someone in the sales department has been taking home office supplies for personal use. Any idea on how we can put a stop to this?”

  Again, if she’s innocent of the charges she’s likely to offer her advice and be pleased that you sought out her opinion. But if she’s guilty you’ll notice her becoming very uncomfortable and she will probably assure you that she would never do anything like that. There’s no reason for her to bring herself into the picture unless, of course, she’s the one who feels guilty.

  Do you see how effective this technique is? Let’s take one more example where a hospital administrator suspects that a doctor is drinking while on duty. She might say, “Dr. Marcus, I’d like to get your advice on something. A colleague of mine at another hospital has a problem with one of her doctors. She feels that he may be drinking while on call. Do you have any suggestions on how she can best approach this doctor?”

  Again, if he’s guilty of the same behavior he’ll become very uncomfortable. If he’s not drinking on duty, then he will be pleased that you sought his advice and willingly and happily offer it. So whenever you’re wondering what somebody’s up to, use a similar scenario and find out for sure.

  Strategy Review

  • Give him the instant psychological test. Ask a question that does not accuse the person of anything but rather alludes to it. Then simply gauge his response and you’ll learn right away if he’s hiding anything.

  12

  Get Anyone to Say What He’s Really Thinking

  Ever wish you could peer into someone’s mind to find out what he really thinks about you, your idea, your project, or your date? Now you can with the ultimate mind-reading technique that actually uses a combination of several psychological principles. When you think someone isn’t telling you the truth this sure-fire technique is an excellent method for revealing a person’s true feelings in any situation.

  Getting a truthful opinion from someone can be hard because you can’t outright call him a liar, arguing that he doesn’t really believe what he is saying. For this technique to work, you just have to get the person to commit to liking the idea/person, etc. (If he doesn’t like it, then you don’t have to worry about trying to get the truth because you’re already getting it.)

  Once she says that she likes it, don’t argue or press her on it. This is exactly where most people mess up. They’ll say something like, “Are you sure you like it? Do you really?” The other person is not now going to say, “Well, now that I think of it...” She’s going to become more absolute in her approval and you may not be getting to what she really thinks.

  With this technique, you’ll see that the words you use in your response indicate that you agree and that there is room for improvement. She feels comfortable offering criticism because she feels that you expect her to do so. The two main psychological tactics at work here are consistency (human beings have a need for continuity with their thinking) and expectancy (people often do what is expected of them). Both of these concepts are covered more extensively in other sections throughout this book.

  Example I

  You’re not sure if your coworker really likes your idea for a new marketing campaign, even though she says that she does.

  Q: Do you like the concept for my new idea?

  A: Sure. It’s very original.

  Q: Well, what would it take for you to love the idea?

  Example II

  You want to know if your son is looking forward to going to camp this summer.

  Q: Are you excited about camp next month?

  A: Yeah. It’ll be fun.

  Q: What would it take for you to be really excited about going?

  Example III

  Q: Do you like my new deck?

  A: Sure, it looks fine.

  Q: How do you think I can make it even better?

  As you can see, all these people feel comfortable answering honestly because your questions to them make it obvious that you know that everything’s not perfect. By not pressing the point of their liking it, their answer naturally unfolds as an extension of what they’ve already said, and the truth—what they’re really thinking—merely “pops” out.

  Are you trying to find out what she thinks, but she doesn’t want to speak ill of someone else or his work? No problem. Instead of saying, “What didn’t you like about it?” or “How did she screw up?” ask instead, “How would you have done it?” or “What would you have done differently?” This phrasing takes the focus off what the other person did wrong, and instead asks what this person would have done to make it better. But as you see you get the identical information.

  Strategy Review

  • Just get her to commit to liking the idea, person, or object. Then simply ask her how she thinks that it can be improved upon.

  Section III

  Take Control of Any Situation and Get Anyone to Do Anything

  Succeeding in life is usually a matter of influencing the attitudes, beliefs, and thoughts of other people. This is not success through manipulation, but rather success through the application of specific psychological strategies. There’s a big difference. This book operates under the premise that most people are good, decent, and honest. (Of course, there are people who are not so great and this book will protect you from them as well so you won’t be manipulated and taken advantage of.) But as you know from your own life, often our fears and hang-ups get in the way of our doing what’s right for ourselves and for others. Most people want to help; it makes them feel good to do for others. So rather than force people to bend to your wi
ll, this section shows you how to naturally bring out the pure and good desire and intentions of others to help you and to work with you.

  You can easily direct the behavior and thoughts of other people by your words and your actions. By changing the things that you do and say to others you’ll change their attitudes and behavior toward you. It’s really that simple. People do not operate in a vacuum but instead they think and behave in response to their world. Change their world and you change their responses.

  Depending on the situation, you can use whichever strategies best apply. If you simply want someone to help you with something, then go to Chapter 17, Get Anyone to Do a Favor for You. If, however, you need to first change a person’s mind about something, then you should go to Chapter 16, How to Get a Stubborn Person to Change His Mind About Anything. These tactics are designed to work alone and as part of an overall strategy that uses tactics from the various chapters and sections.

  13

  Get Anyone to Take Immediate Action in Any Situation

  http://getanyonetodoanything.us/vid00050.html

  You are about to see that by following a simple formula that uses six different psychological tactics, you can motivate anyone to take action anytime. This powerful strategy as outlined below virtually guarantees cooperation from anyone in just about any situation.

  1. Limit Options

  The first thing you want to do is narrow someone’s options before you present them to him. Conventional wisdom suggests that with more options he is sure to find something that he likes and that this will motivate him to take action. The opposite is true! If what you want him to do has numerous alternatives he will be less likely to choose any of them. Nobody enjoys being wrong and we don’t like to second-guess ourselves. Fewer choices mean that he will make a decision faster and be less likely to dwell on it afterward.