Through Your Eyes

by Ali Merci

  For one wild second, Carson’s words resonated through Asa’s mind, but he pushed it down, reminding himself of what Wyatt had told him earlier today.

  Carmen wasn’t just the girl he was in love with; she was also someone who mattered to the seemingly heartless Hunter. So there was no way Carson was going to incur the wrath of two boys who were infamous for the notorious brawls they got into.

  “Cool,” Asa said nonchalantly. “Guess I’ll be coming too.”

  Carmen’s answering smile almost stole his breath away. “That’d be perfect.”

  “Don’t you trust us to be good company?” Hayden asked, looking genuinely curious.

  “No,” Asa deadpanned. It was a lie, though. Hayden, Wyatt and Lyra were three of the most laid-back people he knew, but there was no way he could not attend that party and be at peace.

  Even if Wyatt had done a pretty good job of ripping apart Carson’s threat with logic and reason, Asa couldn’t completely shake it off. It was always better to be safe than sorry, though, and going to that party wasn’t going to cost him anything now, did it?

  “Carmen can ride with us then.” Willa offered, shooting her a smile. “And you too.” She nodded towards Lyra.

  Lyra grinned in response, “Thanks, girl. The name’s Lyra, by the way.”

  “Wait, how far is the party from my place?” Carmen asked Asa, pressing her lips together.

  “Not that fa—What? Wait a minute. No! You’re not walking to the party that late in the evening— you’ll freeze.” Asa shook his head vehemently, wondering if Carmen deliberately wanted to fall sick sometimes.

  “I’m a winter baby.” She shrugged innocently. “The cold is my friend.”

  “Yeah, Asa.” Wyatt grinned devilishly. “Let the girl do what she wants.”

  Asa shot his friend a dirty look. “Don’t you go encouraging her. You’re just as reckless as she is.”

  “Excuse me?” Carmen raised her brows. “You’re talking about being reckless?”

  “I agree with Carmen here.” Wyatt nodded vigorously.

  “Amen,” both Hayden and Lyra chorused.

  “You’re all traitors, the entire lot of you,” Asa muttered.

  “Come now, Asa.” Carmen smiled cheekily. “It’s not their fault they like me better.”

  Joyce snorted before erupting into laughter and then covering her mouth in embarrassment.

  “You, with the purple highlight.” Wyatt nodded towards Joyce. “You’re allowed to laugh for heaven’s sake. I know we look rough around the edges, but I promise we don’t bite.”

  Joyce’s cheeks were on flames by now, mumbling something incoherent in an offended manner.

  “Guys, we shouldn’t be loitering around here now that school’s over,” Hayden said, interrupting the conversations they were having amongst themselves. “Besides, if we’re all going to the party, shouldn’t we be heading back home now?”

  “Dude.” Wyatt looked at him incredulously. “School let out only a few minutes back. We have a few hours before we need to even start getting ready for the party. Your sense of timing is insane.”

  Hayden only scowled at him in return. “But we have homework, don’t we? Don’t you guys want to get it over with before you leave for the night?”

  “Are you shitting me right now?” Lyra muttered, sounding like she wanted to smack her own forehead.

  Both Wyatt and Asa groaned in unison, “Come on, man.” Then Asa threw his hands in the air. “It’s Friday!”

  “Yeah.” Wyatt nodded. “Plus it’s the last day of school for Thanksgiving. We have holidays for a week and a half before we need to hand in those assignments anyway.”

  “Life—especially the academic aspect of it—is much easier when you’re not procrastinating, you know,” Hayden pointed out, completely serious.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, Hayden Burrows, your resident fun police,” Wyatt drawled, rolling his eyes.

  Asa chuckled, pushing himself off the wall as he realised there were only a handful of students remaining apart from them.

  “Guys, we should probably get going, though.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Guess we’ll all see each other in a couple of hours, then.”

  There were murmurs of agreement, a few exchanges of goodbye thrown into the mix, and before he knew it, Asa was walking beside Carmen across the parking lot.

  •••

  “Hey, Carmen?” Asa asked after a while, keeping his eyes on the road as he drove.

  “Yeah?” She was looking down at her art journal opened on her lap as she furiously sketched something in it—Asa was dying to know what it was, but he forced himself to not even dare sneak a peek.

  “This party tonight.” He casually brought it up, keeping his entire demeanour relaxed and nonchalant. “You really wanna go? Or was it Lyra just being her persuasive self again?”

  He heard the scratch of the pencil against paper stop then felt Carmen’s eyes on the side of his face. “Lyra wasn’t pushy,” she said, sounding somewhat surprised at the topic. “I actually don’t mind a good party once in a while.”

  He nodded slowly. “All right then, as long as you want this.”

  He heard a sigh leave her mouth and then a soft thud as she placed her journal on the dashboard.

  “Come on, Asa,” she mumbled. “You think I didn’t notice you frowning when Lyra mentioned I wanted to go?”

  “Why can’t you notice the other stuff?” Asa grumbled good-naturedly. “Like how sometimes I reach for your hand on instinct, but quickly pull away before I can hold it?”

  That earned him a playful smack to his shoulder.

  “Come on, Asa. I’m serious. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” he reassured her easily. “I was just worried about whether you were going out of peer pressure. That’s all, okay?”

  It wasn’t exactly all there was to it, of course, but he didn’t really think it was necessary to mention Carson right now. He’d never seen Carmen put herself out there the way she had today when she admitted she found dancing a form of liberation.

  She deserved this. She deserved a night with no worries and burdens weighing over her head. Because even though she’d mentioned to Asa about her plans for Thanksgiving dinner and never spoke about it again, he could tell the anxiety was getting to her.

  Carmen West deserved the world, and if all she was asked for was one night of dancing and letting go, then she was going to get it, everybody else be damned.

  “Okay.” She exhaled heavily, obviously not buying what he said completely, but she did not push him further. “And by the way, Asa?”

  “Yeah?” He spared her a quick glance, meeting her eyes briefly—which was ridiculously enough to make his heart flutter—before he directed his attention back to the road.

  “Next time, don’t pull your hand away. Feel free to hold mine whenever you want.”

  The gigantic smile on Asa’s face lasted the whole ride back, and even though he thought it was impossible to love her any more than he already did, Asa felt his heart fall a little deeper.

  When they reached Carmen’s place and she was just about to get out of the truck, Asa placed a hand on her shoulder.

  She turned around, the skin on her forehead creased to form a tiny v. Instead of just asking him what it was, Carmen tilted her head a slight fraction, knowing he’d understand the gesture.

  “When you, uh, when you reach the party with the rest of the girls, let me know okay? I’ll come get you at the door.”

  Carmen’s lips twitched, amusement dancing in her otherwise inexpressive eyes as she observed Asa.

  “Asa San Román.” The way his full name rolled off her tongue drove him insane. “Are you scared some other guy is going to run into me and sweep me off my feet?”

  Asa’s eyes softened, and he reached for her face, grazing his knuckles along her cheekbones with a certain kind of tenderness he’d never displayed before.

  “I’m not worried about that,” he
told her, his voice barely audible. “I know where I stand with you; you’ve made it pretty clear.”

  “Good,” she whispered. “And you should know that I feel just as confident with where I stand in your life. I trust you, Asa, so if you’re worrying about what I think about your history with girls, I need you to let that worry go.”

  And just like that, Asa was reminded of why he loved this girl with such intensity.

  Because Carmen managed to voice out an internal struggle of his that he hadn’t known how to deal with. But here she was, reading between the lines of what he was saying and letting him know that she understood.

  “You never fail to amaze me, you know that?” He chuckled lightly, using his other hand to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.

  “I know that now,” she replied, an uncharacteristic teasing glint in her eyes that told Asa she must be in an exceptionally good mood. “Also, Asa, could you do me a favour?”

  He turned serious within a blink of an eye. “Anything, tell me.”

  Carmen tapped his hand caressing her ear. “Please don’t tuck my hair behind my ear again. I prefer when it falls around my face.”

  For a few seconds, Asa could only stare at her and then he was laughing. He was laughing so hard his stomach hurt and his vision actually blurred.

  “Not sure if I should find this offensive or funny,” Carmen told him with a sigh, but there was no mistaking the look in her eyes as she watched him laugh

  And it was the memory of that look that Asa knew would make his heart swell during the simplest moments of his life.

  He knew that look—he wore it himself every time she gave him one of those rare half-grin-half-smile of hers. Or when she was utterly engrossed in one of her art journal entries, with her brows pinched together and her bottom lip completely pulled into her mouth.

  It was the look of someone losing more of their heart to the other person.

  •••

  The front gardens of the house the party was being held in was clean and completely litter-free.

  The backyard, though, was an entirely different story. There was a hedge running along the sides and the back of the two-storey house, so the host seemed to have no qualms about students discarding beer cans, bottles, tissue paper and food wrappers on the ground since that area was shielded from prying eyes.

  Asa noticed there weren’t any of the traditional red cups, which meant that there was no beer keg. He figured that explained why there were glass bottles and cans scattered instead.

  “You made it.” Ronnie’s voice fell on Asa’s ears just as he began climbing the backyard patio steps. He had to cross the bricked area to get to the open double doors of the house’s back entrance.

  “Yes, I am standing here, aren’t I?” Asa cocked a brow.

  “You’ve got guts, coming to a party.” Ronnie raised the beer bottle in his hand, tipping it in Asa’s direction, and then took a swig.

  “Yes, it must take a lot of guts to come to a party,” Asa said flatly, sarcasm heavy in his tone.

  Ronnie, despite being intoxicated, seemed not to appreciate Asa’s mouthing off. “You know what I meant. This isn’t school grounds. No rules or regulations to protect you here.”

  “Yeah well, Ronnie, the thing is, rules and regulations never protected me much in school either, did they? I protected myself. And by the way, what the hell is your problem anyway? I get why Carson hates me; that’s the only emotion he’s capable of besides anger. But I’ve never done anything to you.”

  “Are you kidding me?” He scoffed. “You’re always walking around like a self-righteous prick who thinks he’s better than the rest of us. Like you’re better than me.”

  “Oh, wait, I just remembered why I can’t stand you.” Asa held up his hand, as if thinking hard about something. “Ah, yes, you’re the one with an endless supply of sexist comments. Right. Well, have a great night, Ronnie, because if you’re done trying to scare me off—and failing miserably, might I add—I’m gonna go ahead and join the life of the party in there.”

  Without so much as another glance back or waiting for the idiot to respond, Asa strode into the house, the fast-paced beat of the music filling his ears almost instantly and making every nerve in his body thump with the catchy rhythm.

  He had just squeezed his way through a small throng of seniors when Hayden approached him from the other end, waving his phone in the air as he walked closer.

  “Lyra texted,” he said. “They’re here.”

  It hit Asa right then that tonight would be the first ever night he’d be spending with Carmen outside school and the realisation alone set off mini explosions in the pit of his stomach.

  He didn’t even bother suppressing the grin that spread across his face as he followed Hayden back to where he’d entered the house from.

  As soon as those doors opened, loud arguing fell on Asa’s ears—apparently the girls were having a really passionate debate about something—but he tuned it all out as his eyes zeroed in on Carmen and hers found him at the exact moment.

  Her face lit up instantly, and she began walking towards him, as Hayden left his side and joined whatever debate was going on amongst Willa, Joyce, and Lyra.

  “Hey, you.” She grinned once she was close enough.

  “Hey,” he murmured, sweeping his eyes over the plain black turtleneck she wore and the dark jeans she paired it with.

  “What?” she asked suspiciously, tilting her head back a little.

  He shook his head, unable to hide the small smile tugging at his lips. “I’ve never seen you completely in black.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, it, uh… it actually looks really good on you.” He shrugged, ignoring the burning sensation in his cheeks.

  But he was right, though. With her endless dark hair flowing freely down her back and the turtleneck hugging her petite frame, the colour really complemented her ivory skin tone and made those silvery-grey eyes of hers pop out. She looked almost exotic, but in a very ethereal kind of way.

  Only Carmen could have that touch of grace to her posture which made her seem like someone from out of this world. Not necessarily the drop-dead gorgeous type, but someone who claimed your attention anyway by the way she effortlessly carried herself.

  Asa figured that, in a way, being a small-framed, reserved and all-around quiet person who could still pull off being bold and be in her element was its own kind of sexy. She set her own trend, this Carmen West. And Asa loved that about her. Heck, forget love. He was goddamn proud of the way she defined herself, something he had struggled to do for a long time.

  “Thanks.” She laughed, the rotating disco lights casting shadows across her face that seemed to pull Asa in even more.

  He reached out and hooked his forefingers through two of the belt loops on her jeans, yanking her forward until she stumbled and fell against him.

  “What was that for?” she grumbled, rubbing the tip of her nose that had bumped into the hard planes of his chest.

  “I just wanted to,” he said, unhooking one of his fingers from her jeans and wrapping his hands around her waist instead. He noticed how her clothing clung to her like second skin.

  “Did you have to yank me though?” She grinned, that teasing glint in her eyes appearing for the second time today, which told Asa she was definitely enjoying herself right now. “What happened to being gentle?”

  His hold tightened around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer to his body until he was sure every single muscle of his had memorised the feel of her body against him. “Gentle—” he leant forward, dropping his voice to a low rumble “—is overrated.”

  Asa knew the faint dusting of pink in her cheeks weren’t because of the red disco lights this time.

  “Besides—” he paused, deliberately dragging his eyes over every inch of her face “—I like seeing you up close like this.” He unhooked his other finger from the belt loop and lifted that hand to her face, skimming the skin just underneath her eyes.
“This…eyeliner…it suits you.”

  “Asa.” Carmen’s grin seemed to widen. “I have a feeling I could wrap myself in seaweed and you’d still tell me it suits me.”

  “You’re that confident?” His lips lifted into a half-smirk, eyes alight with mischief.

  “No.” She shook her head slowly, eyes crinkling at the edges. “You’re just that whipped.”

  And despite his growing fondness for this new side of her, surprise flashed across his face. “Damn, you weren’t kidding when you said the dancing atmosphere put you in a more relaxed mood.” He pressed her closer to him. “I like this more open, laid-back version of you. The attitude’s kind of sexy, to be honest.”

  Carmen raised a brow in response. “We definitely need to go dancing more often, if it means you’re going to be more unrestrained with your speech.”

  “Carmen West.” He looked at her with a devilish smile. “You asking me to talk dirty to you?”

  He ended up getting shoved hard in the shoulder, sending him stumbling back as he erupted into laughter. Just as he regained his composure though, Joyce walked up to them and curled her hand around Carmen’s arm.

  “We’re gonna hit the dance floor, you coming?” she asked, the excited smile on her face not wavering.

  Carmen nodded, flashing her friend a smile of her own. She then turned towards Asa. “You joining us?”

  He snorted, stifling another laugh. “I can’t dance to save my life. You go ahead.” He smiled at her in reassurance, ignoring the small flash of worry he felt right in the centre of his chest as he watched her go with the other three girls.

  He didn’t feel like smothering her by hanging around too closely during the one time she wanted to let loose and just have fun.

  After standing there for a few more minutes and making sure she was all right with her group of friends, he turned around and started heading further into the house, deciding to find his own group of weirdos to hang out with.

  A small sigh fell past his lips as he pushed his way through dancing bodies, silently wishing that tonight would provide Carmen with that sense of freedom she was looking for, and hoping against hope that his demons didn’t find their way to her tonight.