by Natalie Ann
“That’s it,” he said. “Just let yourself go. It feels good and let it continue.”
It was like that was all she needed to hear before he sent her flying. His brow was sweating and he was still lying there with his underwear on, but watching her lose control because of him was probably one of the best moments of his life.
13
Feel Faint
Gemma had no idea it would feel like this. All those times she’d overheard Amelia and her friends talking about sex, she had no clue it really did feel like being transported into another world.
And though she expected to feel pain, she hadn’t felt anything but pleasure.
Then again she was still technically a virgin. Hopefully not much longer.
At this moment though, she still wanted to just marvel at the feeling of floating. Of an almost out of body experience.
She sucked a few deep breaths in and then opened her eyes.
There was Blake staring at her with a smile on his face. “Feel okay?” he asked.
“Wonderful. But I know there is more and I want you to show me that too.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
He moved off the bed and she was disappointed and wanted to ask what he was doing. Then she realized he wasn’t completely naked like her. That all parts of her body were exposed and not once had she felt self-conscious.
She hadn’t worried if he’d think she was fat or flabby or if he’d noticed the stretch marks that always seemed to flash like lights on the Vegas strip when she was putting lotion on.
And when he dropped his underwear, her eyes went right to the part of his body she’d never seen before in person. Real life had nothing on pictures in magazines that she’d looked at over the years. Good lord, she was starting to feel faint.
“Still okay?” he asked, his eyes on hers now. Guess she wasn’t doing a good job of hiding what she was feeling.
Opting for some bravado, she said, “Just admiring the view.”
He smiled at her. That slow assessing one he always had that made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Then he reached for a drawer and pulled out a condom, put it on and climbed back on the bed, covering her body with his.
There was a heat now like never before. Not one just building in her core, but all over her body from where he was touching every part of her. Where he was holding her tight.
Then he was putting his lips to hers and kissing again. Not slow and steady. Not gentle or tender.
But hungry. Like he was a starving tiger that cornered a deer and he was about to make a meal out of it.
She was ready to be his meal. She was ready to be his woman.
His leg nudged hers apart and she felt the tip of him at her opening and was dying to feel even more. She didn’t care there was a pressure now, she didn’t care there was some pain.
What she cared about was that what she’d waited for for so long was about to happen and it was going to happen with Blake.
That if she’d ever seen him on the street and hadn’t gotten to know him like she had, she’d never have realized how sweet he was. How romantic he was. How protected he made her feel.
“Tell me if it’s too much,” he said against her lips.
She wasn’t going to say a word though. She wasn’t going to speak because there was no way she wanted him to stop what he was doing.
Instead she lifted her hips up and pushed him in even further. It was tight and there was a pinch, but then it was over with. And it felt wonderful again.
His hips started to move in and out of her and it was so much better than when his finger was in there. The fullness of something she’d never thought could feel so wonderful.
“That feels so good,” she said.
He didn’t answer her and she wondered if he wasn’t able to. Not when he pulled her in tighter to his body and his mouth slanted over hers again and again. Hunger from a man sure the hell was a powerful feeling.
He was speeding up his movements and she was feeling something building in her again. How was that possible, she wondered?
There was no time to think about it when all she wanted to do was just feel. When she wanted to see that star falling from the sky again. When she wanted to know that something she did caused him to feel as fabulous as she’d felt moments ago.
Her body was starting to tighten up again. The pain was there but was overridden by the pleasure for sure. He leaned back a bit and moved his hands between their bodies and started to touch where his mouth had been before.
Oh good grief, that felt out of this world.
Her head went back, his hand and his hips started to move at a fast pace and the next thing she knew she was swearing and couldn’t have cared less who saw her come apart or heard the words ripped from her mouth.
In the faint distance she’d heard him let out a few curse words himself, but she was so far gone at that point she thought she might just pass out from gratification.
The next morning, Blake rolled over to see Gemma sleeping on her side facing away from him. She sure the heck wasn’t one to cuddle.
Normally he’d be okay with that, but for some reason he wouldn’t have minded holding her tight all night long. Maybe he still needed some comfort from the past few days. It seemed they both found comfort in each other.
All those protective feelings he’d never had before with someone else were standing tall like Superman on at the top of the highest building looking down on the city and knowing he had everyone’s back.
He’d been so afraid of hurting her last night, but when it was all said and done, she’d been fine. She was sturdier than he gave her credit for.
She’d been honest with him and said she was uncomfortable, so he got up and ran the bath in the other bathroom for her. He figured maybe she’d want some alone time too.
While she was soaking, he’d gone downstairs and finished cleaning up dinner, then opened the bottle of beer he’d never gotten to.
He was exhausted, feeling like he was going through basic training again all in one day rather than weeks.
It wasn’t just a physical exhaustion but a mental one too.
Who would have thought this little slip of a woman could wiggle her way into his life so fast?
Into his heart? Was it possible this was love? Or was he just in love with the idea of loving someone? That he’d been waiting for this and just wanted to grab it?
And as much as he wanted to say those words he wouldn’t. Too many conflicting thoughts and too many emotions in the past week for him to know what he was truly feeling. There was no need to put that kind of pressure on them.
He was her first and he knew there was a kind of attachment in that alone. He didn’t want her to feel that way about him for that reason though. When the time came—if it came for her—he wanted to know that she felt the way she did because of who he was, not what he represented.
“Good morning,” he said when she started to stretch.
“Morning,” she said and that lovely blush of hers started to fill her face and even cover her neck. If he pulled the covers back, he’d bet it was over her chest too.
“How are you feeling this morning?”
She sat up and pulled the covers with her. “I feel fine. The same as I did every other time you’ve asked me.”
“So no regrets?” he asked. He worried that she might have some. That maybe she was holding out for something in life but wasn’t cluing him in on it.
“None at all. I wasn’t a virgin this late in life from choice. I mean I wasn’t waiting for the walk down the aisle or the diamond ring if that is what you’re thinking.”
“Why have you waited this long?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I told you I was overweight. I’m shy, you know that. I just didn’t get out much or have a lot of friends. My self-esteem has taken a huge hit a lot in my life.”
“So you wanted to reinvent yourself by moving here?” he asked, wondering if she was much different than before an
d who it was that he might be falling for.
“Yes and no. I’m still the same person, but I’m trying to be someone else too.”
“Who do you want to be?” he asked.
“Someone who isn’t afraid to do things. Who isn’t afraid of what people think of them.”
“We all care what someone thinks of us even if we say we don’t.”
“I know that.” She scooted over some and he lifted his arm for her to slide under it, then pulled her next to his side. “I just want to be a better me if that makes sense.”
“It does.” He was somewhat satisfied with that answer.
14
Scare Himself
A week later, Blake was downtown for work and drove by the gym. He noticed Gemma’s car in the parking lot and decided to stroll in and see if he could catch her working out.
She was still shy around him, but he wondered if she was like that in public. He was guessing she was and hid that body of hers so much.
He had no idea why. So what if she was a few pounds overweight before? Lots of people went up and down in their weight. He wouldn’t care if she put a few pounds on. Not that he didn’t like her body the way it was—it was damn nice—but he knew it had to take a lot of work to have that much muscle.
He opened the door to the gym and was hit with a blast of cool artificial air. The stench wasn’t that wonderful in here either, but the lemon scent was trying to make it seem fresh. Too bad it wasn’t working.
“Can I help you?” the teen at the desk asked.
“Just looking for someone. I thought she might be here.”
“Help yourself,” the kid said and went back to his phone that he was watching some video on.
Blake took a few steps in and looked around. There were plenty of meatheads pumping iron and spotting each other. Didn’t these people work in the middle of the day? Then he wondered if they were vacationers. Probably.
He was just getting ready to walk back out, thinking Gemma might be in one of the classes. She did say she took yoga and he supposed that might be on the second floor.
Doing one more scan, he saw some guy staring at someone on the machines. He might have let it go if it wasn’t so obvious he was leering more than anything. The object of his attention was on her stomach, just doing hamstring curls. The guy’s eyes were watching the person’s ass.
His radar was up and he strolled in, just for the heck of it.
Yep, it was Gemma. She had on long yoga pants that covered her to her calves. Her loose shirt probably covered her hips if she was standing, but right now it was lying up around her waist while her legs pumped up and down, a motion that would give any guy ideas with her hips flexing the way they were.
And some asshole was staring at his woman. Like hell.
He walked forward and stopped to the side of the machine. The guy that was staring at Gemma glanced up and looked at him, then smirked and nodded his head with a wiggle of his eyebrows. It didn’t seem to faze him that Blake was standing there with a badge on and a gun at his hip.
The idiot continued to stare at Gemma while her legs pumped up and down, her hips rising and falling. Blake realized now she had earbuds in and didn’t hear her surroundings. He’d have to talk to her about that. She shouldn’t ever let her guard down.
When her legs finally stopped moving, she slid off and sat up, tugged her shirt down, then caught him standing there giving the leering asshole his best hardman stare. He wanted to open his mouth and say something, but held back for the moment waiting to see how she’d handle this.
“Blake,” she said when she noticed him there. She pulled her earbuds out and stood up. “What are you doing here?”
“I was in town and saw your car in the parking lot. I just thought I’d pop in and see how much time you had left.”
He moved forward when she stood up and inched toward him, then gave him a kiss. That got the idiot’s attention fast. He turned and scurried away to the other end of the gym like a rat that just noticed he was surrounded by traps.
“I just got here,” she said. “Why?”
“It’s close to noon and I thought maybe we could grab some lunch. But I know you want to work out, so I’ll let you get back to it.”
“Yeah. I don’t have a change of clothes with me. Even if I left now, I wouldn’t want to go to a restaurant like this. Sorry. If I’d known I would have planned better.”
“Not a big deal. Guess I just missed you.”
“Really?” she asked, smiling at him. They’d spent one more night together since Saturday, but he wasn’t pushing much more than that. He didn’t want to scare her and was afraid he might scare himself.
Hell, now he was thinking he shouldn’t have said what he did to her either.
“I’m not allowed to miss you?” he said, knowing there was no backing up at this point. He’d stepped in front of the line and decided to hold his ground.
“You are. I might have missed you a little bit too.”
He looked around the gym some more, noticed a few people staring at them and then looking away when he caught their eyes. All guys.
“Do me a favor and pay more attention to your surroundings. I’m not really comfortable with you here by yourself.”
“What?” she asked, following his eyes. “Why?”
“I stood here for a minute before you even knew I was next to you. There was another guy staring at your ass the whole time and not bothering to hide the fact I caught him doing it.”
“He must be an idiot then with your size. Not to mention your badge and gun.”
“I can’t or won’t do anything about it when I’m on duty. Not unless you ask me to.”
Even if he wanted to tell the guy to back the hell off. Well, he would have told him to move away, but he’d have to be careful what he said when he was wearing a badge. He wasn’t the type to throw his weight around, nor would he want to anger Gemma.
“Because you always do the right thing,” she said. He felt heat hit his face with her statement even though it was true. “I’m fine, Blake. There isn’t anything to worry about.”
“Just pay attention, please. I’d feel better if you did. Or maybe if you didn’t come here alone.”
She stood up straighter and he got the feeling he hit a nerve. So much for not wanting to anger her.
“I’m a big girl. I’ve been coming here for a few weeks and haven’t had any problems. I lift weights for a bit and then I go to one of the classes upstairs that are full of women. I don’t walk to my car alone at night. I’m in broad daylight.”
He was starting to feel three feet tall, but again, he was holding his ground. He’d stepped in front of the firing squad and now he’d have to see how good his negotiating skills really were.
“I worry. I can’t help it. It’s my line of work.”
“Again. I’m a big girl. You’re going to have to get over it.”
Gemma was shocked she’d had the courage to say those words to Blake.
And even though she was annoyed he was treating her like a kid, she kind of felt all warm and fuzzy inside too that he was watching out for her.
It didn’t matter though. She was an adult and she could handle herself.
How many times had she been hit on in the gym before? Sure, it wasn’t the same way as it might be now.
But she wasn’t even hit on this time. Some guy was just watching her. If she was honest it wasn’t the first time she’d seen some guy watching her.
She’d never experienced that before the past few months and though it was creepy, there was a tiny part of her that got a confidence boost too. She’d never admit that to Blake though. He’d probably get annoyed.
Now he was gone and she was going back to her workout. She was going to push this from her mind and not worry that maybe Blake was being overprotective. That he was her first and he might start to smother her. She didn’t want to think he’d be like that, but she really didn’t know either.
She was an adult, sh
e reminded herself again. She might have been a virgin, but she didn’t need someone to watch over her this late in her life.
She came here for a change and she found it. She was going to continue and she hoped it continued with Blake. But she was sick of being the shy girl hiding in the corner.
Who would have thought having sex with a hot guy could make her stand up for herself?
Was it just the sex, or had she’d finally found her inner strength?
15
Bad Enough
Sticking up for herself was hard to do when it was her family that always made her want to cower in the corner like the idiot girl that ran into the basement with the zombies chasing after her in a horror film only to discover she’d boxed herself in.
She’d been dating Blake for a few weeks now. That one incident at the gym seemed to be behind them and she started to think she’d overreacted.
That maybe he was just being a typical guy and wanting to make sure she was safe rather than thinking she couldn’t take care of herself.
She doubted he was jealous. Not someone like him. Big and strong and putting other men to shame.
The guy that Blake said had been staring at her wasn’t much bigger than her. And he’d never said a word to her after Blake left. Matter of fact, he’d kept his distance as if she were covered in measles.
She knew that because Blake had made her kind of nervous. Nervous to the point that her eyes were skirting all over the place and then she was annoyed with him for making her feel this way.
She hadn’t felt unsafe once since she’d been here.
That was wrong. She did when she found out someone had been in the cabin, but once Blake put in better locks she wasn’t concerned anymore.
He’d even put spotlights up around the cabin too. She’d made a comment about it two weeks ago, being dark out there at night. The next thing she knew he showed up with everything and installed them all around the house.
