Burying the Shadow

by Storm Constantine

  I had to interrupt his speech. ‘Avirzah’e, didn’t the impulsive and irresponsible behaviour of certain crusading eloim, who for courtesy’s sake I will not name, predate the incident with Oro Mervantes?’

  Avirzah’e was silent for a moment. I raised an admonishing eyebrow. ‘Well?’

  ‘It is hardly relevant! Think of this, Gimel. The Watchers will have been monitoring our activities since we fled the other world. If they are not directly responsible for what is happening now, I suspect they have, at least, been waiting aeons for this moment. You can be sure they certainly intend to take advantage of the situation! Ask yourself this: who has kept the world free of their oppressive machinations, if not ourselves? If the eloim fall, the Watchers will swamp this world with their own philosophy, something that our people fought to prevent in the past. You think I am selfish, self-motivated, in wanting to take drastic action, but I am not. It is true we might have to kill in order to maintain the balance, but it is a vital unpleasantness. Your father feels my methods will bring about a dark age, but the Watchers would bring far worse, I assure you. Without us, the world will fall into stagnation, and its people will succumb to the worst form of oppression. The Parzupheim know this, so I cannot understand why they are being so squeamish! Much as it pains me, I am forced to conclude they have become complacent and indolent over the centuries. In short, they are no longer fit to guide us.’ He ended his speech quite breathlessly.

  I wasn’t sure whether to rage at Avirzah’e, humour him, or fly to Metatron immediately and betray him. ‘I am puzzled as to why you have chosen me as a confidante for your heresy,’ I said.

  ‘Because the flame of life burns strong in you, that’s why, and you are not a fool.’

  ‘And you trust me?’

  He nodded, smiling.

  ‘Then it is you who is a fool, Avirzah’e!’

  He shook his head. ‘No. For all my weaknesses, I am never that. Soon, I will leave. For a while, you will consider informing the Metatron of our conversation. Then, you will actually think about what I have said, and you will realise I am right. Our people are threatened, Gimel. This situation involves more than just humanity and ourselves. We are caught between two blades, but I do not think the situation is irredeemable.’

  ‘Why come to me now?’ I asked. ‘What do you need of me?’

  He stroked his lips with a casual forefinger, pausing before answering. ‘Your soulscaper, Gimel. At first I must admit I considered your plan to be without merit. I questioned whether a human soulscaper would be strong enough to confront the perils I am now convinced face our people. But I have reconsidered. In my opinion, this woman’s ignorance of the Watchers would be her power, because she is not conditioned to fear them, as we are. You are right in thinking the soulscape is the arena in which this battle might be fought and won. If the Watchers have penetrated this world, that is the portal they have used. You have groomed the soulscaper since her childhood, and I trust that your influence will have honed her abilities to perfection. Now, she is ripe for her task.’

  ‘How do you know that?’ I asked abruptly. I was aghast, not just at the ideas he was coming out with, but the fact he seemed to be familiar with Rayojini.

  He shrugged. ‘That is irrelevant.’

  ‘I disagree!’

  ‘Very well. Although I lack the benefit of a psychic link with Madam Rayojini, I have made prudent use of certain patron agents who roam Lansaal. I instructed them to make discreet inquiries about any soulscaper carrying the name Rayojini - perhaps it was a mistake on your part to divulge her name at the meeting at the Castile that day - and discovered that only one individual was of the appropriate age. I have followed her career with great interest. She is highly respected, apparently, but of course you must be aware of this. I can’t understand why you haven’t summoned her here earlier.’

  I felt as if he’d dug the ground out from beneath my feet. I was scrabbling helplessly for purchase in a world he had turned inside out. I was appalled he knew so much. ‘Your remarks are indeed interesting,’ I said, ‘and deserve careful consideration. I must admit I had not envisaged bringing Rayojini into play until she was a little older, but perhaps events have accelerated to the point where we no longer have the time for that. However, I have to think about what you’ve said, Avirzah’e. Perhaps you would leave me now and allow me to contact you later.’

  He frowned and then nodded, reluctantly. ‘Very well, but please do nothing rash, such as running to Metatron about this. I am not concerned for my own safety, which is unassailable, I assure you, but for the security of far greater issues. If you try to impede me, the results could be fatal. I cannot urge you too strongly to remember this.’

  I nodded. ‘As you wish, Avirzah’e.’

  After he’d gone, I sought solitude in my bedchamber, lying down among the draperies whispering in the afternoon breeze. I descended into trance and sought out my soulscaper. She was so bright! I knew she was drawing conclusions of her own about the strange events she was witnessing. Were these things the results of machinations of Avirzah’e’s, or of a greater plan? I was unsure. He had seemed genuine enough but perhaps I underestimated his acting skill. Metatron counselled patience; now, I wondered whether we should act. Not as Avirzah’e insisted, but in our own way. I could not believe Metatron and the Parzupheim were ignorant of the implications Avirzah’e had mentioned. No matter how forbidden it was even to think of the past, it must have occurred to them that the Watchers might be involved.

  I walked with Rayojini in the land of Atruriey, even though she had effectively shut me out of her mind. I trailed her like a sad ghost. The Tartaruch was right about one thing; I would have to make contact soon.

  That night, I took my carriage to the family stronghold. I told Metatron everything Avirzah’e had said to me. He did not react as strongly as I had anticipated, but thanked me formally for giving him the information. I had a feeling I’d told him nothing he hadn’t known already.

  ‘Soon, I shall leave here,’ he said. ‘Already the preliminary waking calls are being sung to the Harkasites. Soon, I will lead them into the world.’

  I made a sacred sign. ‘Have you no other choice?’

  He shook his head. ‘No. Avirzah’e Tartaruchi is no fool, Gimel. His diagnoses are largely correct, but his treatment of the malady is misguided. He is aggravating the situation.’

  ‘You are still convinced he is responsible for the phenomena in Khalt, then?’

  ‘I would be stupid to dismiss it as a possibility.’

  ‘So, you will deal with him?’

  Metatron looked at me sharply. ‘He is a mote, nothing more.’

  ‘Maybe so, but a mote of disease infects the whole organism, eventually.’ I resented Avirzah’e’s meddling with Rayojini. I wanted Metatron to prevent him getting more involved.

  Metatron rubbed his face wearily. ‘I will do all that is necessary. If I find Avirzah’e, or any of his kin, in Khalt, they shall be dealt with summarily, believe me!’

  I shuddered, trying not to think about what being dealt with by the Harkasites might be like.

  ‘Bring your soul scaper to Sacramante, Gimel,’ Metatron said. ’As soon as you can.’

  I hurried home and began to make preparations. The plan had long been perfected in theory. It was time for my beloved brother to face reality; he could no longer hide within his brush court.

  Much to my annoyance, Beth was out when I returned to the house. I immediately summoned Amelakiveh, Ramiz and Tamaris and asked them if they were aware of Beth’s whereabouts. Ramiz said he thought my brother had gone to an opening night of an art exhibition in the outer courts of the Kaliph’s palace. He was not expected home until late. I could do nothing until he returned, so I would have to issue a mind-chime to recall him. After a few minutes of concentration on the summons, which I knew reached its target, I resentfully went to my bed-chamber, taking Amelakiveh with me.

  ‘Are you ready, lovely boy, for the work I have for you?�
�� I asked him, stroking his face. His flesh bloomed with the vigour of life. I knew Beth and I had transgressed eloim code by what we had done to Amelakiveh. We had introduced him to the sup, made him like Tamaris and Ramiz through giving him thimbles of our blood, without asking permission of the Parzupheim. Any humans who were candidates for becoming special retainers had to be examined thoroughly for taints and weaknesses. We excused our evasion of this procedure because we knew the boy would be instrumental in our plans concerning Rayojini, but I was unconvinced that would stand up as a defence should our action be exposed.

  ‘I am ready,’ Amelakiveh said, and flexed his fingers. ‘I am tired of your house. I am looking forward to freedom.’

  There was a darkness about him, a faint aroma of bitterness. I realised he was more potent a force, in his own way, than any smouldering Harkasite. ‘You are my heresy,’ I told him. ‘You!’

  Beth did not respond to my summons. Even though I had strengthened the call with my desperate need for his presence, he did not come home at all that night, but returned to the house early in the morning. Tamaris informed me of this when she came to wake me. After a spare breakfast of bloodied milk, I requested Beth to join me in my salon, a request which he ignored. After he had kept me waiting for over an hour, I flew down to his rooms in person, intent on scolding him. I was met by a stranger.

  Beth was in his sitting-room. Ramiz was in attendance, half dressed, which indicated Beth had recently supped. I directed a meaningful glance at Ramiz, which prompted his swift departure. Beth, for some reason, would not look at me. ‘You seem agitated,’ he said, adjusting his clothes in a mirror. In the glass, his eyes were evasive and dark.

  ‘If I am agitated, you are distinctly strange. What has happened?’ I asked stiffly.

  He shrugged.

  ‘Beth, I needed you last night. Why did you ignore me? The time has come! We have to pool our strengths now.’ I had to admit he really didn’t look fit enough to accomplish what we had to do. His hands were shaking, his face ashen. ‘Tell me!’ I demanded, in desperation.

  ‘I have nothing to tell you.’ The chill in his voice was terrifying. I realised that, for the first time in our lives, we were not in accord. I ran up behind him and gripped his bony shoulders with my fingers, digging my nails into his flesh. He did not feel like he was mine any more.

  ‘Beth, there is nothing you cannot tell me, nothing. I love you. Please, speak to me!’

  ‘I can’t Gimel,’ he said, bowing his head. ‘I really can’t. But I can show you, if you like.’

  ‘Then please do so.’ I stepped backwards.

  Wordlessly, he turned around to face me and began to unlace his shirt. There was a challenge in his eyes, as if he expected me to scream or lunge at him. The white skin of his chest was marked above the heart. I saw a large bruise there, the flower of the sup and, in its centre, there was a tiny wound. Someone had fed there.

  I closed my eyes and turned away. Not even I had ever supped upon my brother’s ichor; it was an act so rare among eloim, and so potent, I had never imagined I would encounter it. It signified subjection, total surrender; it signified possession. In darker times, the Harkasites had fed upon each other to hone their powers; we had been told it had made them beasts, ultimately, too. It was barbaric to feed upon each other; unclean. It encouraged morbid humours and hysteria. It prompted obsession. I could not believe Beth had let such a thing happen to him.

  ‘Who?’ I demanded. He did not answer. ‘Did you taste them too?’

  He nodded.

  ‘Why?’ I asked. It was such a small sound. There was no answer that he could give that would relieve my shock.

  There was a short silence, and then Beth said, ‘You went to Metatron yesterday, didn’t you. You told him everything Avirzah’e said.’

  The sound of that name cut me like a whip. I felt as if Beth had punched the breath out of my body. His words told me all I needed to know. I turned slowly to face him, and he was smiling at me. It was not my brother’s smile.

  ‘I answered your question,’ he said, ‘satisfied your curiosity. Come, sister, embrace me now. Give me your love.’ He held out his arms and, simply because I knew I was not supposed to, I threw myself against him and hugged him fiercely. He was as unyielding as iron, and kept his arms outstretched.

  ‘You must tell me, Beth,’ I said. ‘I have to know what happened.’

  He gently pushed me away from him. ‘I suppose you do,’ he said. ‘But your knowing will change nothing.’

  ‘This is a spiteful act of revenge. You do realise that, don’t you?’

  ‘It will comfort you to think that, no doubt.’ He sat down casually in a chair and crossed his legs, leaving his shirt unlaced so that the wound glared at me like a baleful eye. His tawny hair hung about his shoulders like combed silk. ‘I went to the opening last night. An astounding display! You really must see it. Raphael has incredible talent, and will certainly go far.’

  ‘Beth, I don’t care a spilled drop about the paintings,’ I said, in a low voice.

  He shrugged. ‘Avirzah’e was there...’

  I nodded. ‘That much is obvious.’

  ‘He invited me back to his apartment. He wanted to talk to me. I must confess, the things he said were unbelievably controversial. Still, he speaks from the heart, and you have to respect that. He also talks sense.’

  ‘You are wrong. It is your heart speaking now, not your mind!’

  Beth shook his head. ‘Oh no. Don’t deceive yourself, sister. The heart did not become involved until later. We sat upon the floor, in candlelight, and talked deep into the night; we ventured into the darkest territories of conversation. We untombed the past. It was fascinating. Then, it was the strangest thing, we both went quiet, as if everything that had to be said had been said.’ Beth frowned. ‘I looked at the Tartaruch. He seemed... somehow vulnerable, but also, he seemed to be a... potent warrior. A doomed and tragic figure. I did the only thing possible. I pledged him my allegiance. I gave him my strength. I opened up my shirt and said nothing.’

  ‘What did he do?’ I asked, more for interruption of the ghastly narrative than because the question was required.

  ‘Why, he opened his own shirt too, of course. What did you think? It was a very... holy... time. We just stared at each other; we were staring at the potential more than anything, I think. Maybe, in another reality, we would have done no more than that. But it must have been preordained. I can’t remember how, but suddenly we were lying next to each other and...’ He paused and put his head on one side with a quizzical smile. ‘Are you sure you want me to continue?’

  I shook my head. ‘No, I’ve heard enough.’

  ‘I thought so.’

  ‘You realise I can no longer allow you to have contact with the soulscaper, don’t you?’

  Beth laughed. ‘And how do you propose to do that?’

  His laughter enraged me. In an instant, I had leapt the distance between us and hit him hard on the face. His mouth dropped open in shock. ‘Don’t presume to try and compete with me, Beth!’ I said. ‘I am ready for you; both of you! If you try to interfere with Rayojini, I will take whatever action is necessary, however drastic. You can tell Avirzah’e I have accepted his challenge, and also that he has made a great mistake.’

  My determination, and the reality of what he had done, became clear in Beth’s mind; I could see it in his eyes. His mouth opened and closed, but issued no sound.

  I turned to leave the room, but delivered a final remark, which I knew would hit him sorely. ‘I do not blame you, Beth,’ I said. ‘I blame myself. Metatron warned me long ago of your weakness, and I never really believed him. Obviously, I was a fool.’ Then, I closed the door behind me.

  For once, I worked alone, leaving Beth behind me, far behind me. The Tartaruch would pay for what he’d done; I would make sure of that. Before I initiated the procedure that would bring Rayojini to us, I saw, in Beth’s eyes, a seed of sickness that filled me with fear. Of course, he came
to my rooms begging for forgiveness and understanding. Of course, he pleaded for me to help him undo what he had done. But it was irreversible. I had to harden my heart and concentrate on the future. For the time being, Beth was lost to me, at least until Avirzah’e was dead. I felt so tired as I climbed the spiralling stairs to the highest tower of our house, so tired. I entered the small room, where the windows are open to the winds, and lay down upon the black-veiled couch. Amid the lamentations of the elements, no more pitiful than those of my own heart, I willed myself to trance. I projected my personality into another body, one that even now mounted a swift Bochanegran steed in the yard below, and it took me travelling.

  Section Three

  Gimel

  ‘…and winds with ease through the pure marble air his oblique way…’

  Paradise Lost, Book III

  The plains are lovely in the autumn; a sea of grass, moving like quicksilver. I rode the horse many leagues into the Kahra Flats, tassels of seeds around my thighs. It was like cleaving an ocean. For a while I could enjoy the physical sensations of the journey; sun on my hair, the smell of ripe grass, the chewing of the horse, the scream of wheeling birds. My body felt fit and supple; I enjoyed the sensation of wearing it.

  The nomad trails are very easy to see from a height. Sometimes, I would leave the flesh and let my soul soar into the body of a bird. Then, I would look down, sick with vertigo, afraid, yet knowing I could not fall. The bird did not even feel me there, gliding on the waves of air, dipping and curling. I could not decide which tribe to concentrate upon, and realised that fate would have to take me in her hands.