Beggar

by Shan R. K

  I snap out of whatever it is, and the first thing I see clearly is that her skin is changing color, she's going to choke herself into unconsciousness. I spin into action jumping on the bed and go to grab her arms pulling them off her neck. Her high pitch scream wringing in my ears as she fights me. Pulling it back, as I pull her hands to me.

  “Zero.” I scream, “Zero.” The door bolts open seconds later, but it's those seconds I take my eyes off her, and those seconds that spin my world on its axis.

  Beggar opens her mouth like something is getting shoved inside and it doesn't take a college graduate to guess what she's picturing, what she must be reliving.

  Zero pulls her hands easily into one of his, her wild movement lifts her top up and the branded burn I see almost makes my knees buckle.

  I can't believe what I'm seeing but after I see it again my eyes widen, there's no doubt what it is. Zero lifts her up and crushes her to his chest. “Sssshhh, Beauty, I got you, it's me Zero, you need to wake up now, okay, wake up Beauty. Sssshhh.” He is so strong, his words soothing, his voice firm, but I see the horror on his paled skin, I see it as I feel mine.

  I rush out of the room and barely make it to the bathroom before I spill my guts out in the toilet.

  My mind goggles. He said they didn't do it, he said his people never took women. They would never traffic, never enslave. He lied, I know this, I know this as I know that the mark burnt into that girls stomach is the mark of his kind, the mark of possession, the mark of a slave. The mark of the Famiglia.

  I don't waste time looking at the couple, I don't waste time doing anything. I don't even rinse out my bile tasting mouth. I take the steps three at a time and rush to my gold merc. My keys in my hand clicking buttons before I slide in, turn the ignition and get the hell out of there.

  My foot hits the gas and I speed to the hotel. I get my phone from the compartment in the centre of the car and dial my baby brother.

  It rings three times, “Don't tell me you miss my ass.” His way of greeting.

  “You alone.” I ask through the car speakers.

  He’s quiet for a minute, “Yeah, hit me.”

  My eyes on the road, I push the cruise control, and sit back, “I heard Kevin talking about a girl yesterday, came to Kanla with Diamond a day early to see her for myself, her names Beggar by the way.”

  “Yeah, heard D asking Michael to do some digging. Some homeless girl they picked up in Washington.”

  “Yup, but when I get there she's unconscious in Zero's arms. A few minutes after he put her on the bed she starts having some sort of seizure or nightmare I'm not sure what the hell was that. I've never seen that fucked up shit Jace.”

  My hand hits the hooter in frustration, this is my brother I don’t hide from my family, “Fuck, I can't even talk to Diamond about this because she’s having her benders again.”

  He’s silent and I sigh, shit, me and my big mouth, “Sorry, I wanted to tell you but I don't want you worrying when you got enough shit going on.”

  “Hey, it's okay, I get it.” Jace says.

  “You need to drop that smack down Jace, it's not your fault, if you didn't tell them they would've figured it out.”

  His silence just pisses me off, I make another turn and head down toward the supermarket.

  “You were kidnapped, it's not your fault okay, Diamond is doing this for you don't be ungrateful and squander your life away. You dropping out of a private school to go to public is one thing. Riding yourself with guilt is something completely different.”

  I take a right at the four way and carry on straight.

  “Can we just drop it. What do you need from me.”

  I sigh, “Beggar has a mark on her stomach and brand, guess from who.”

  “Biker or Outlaw.”

  “Worse, it's from good ole Vincent's clan.”

  “What. The. fuck.”

  “My thoughts exactly, it's their mark, the one they brand on the soldiers and their possessions.”

  I don't tell him that where they put the mark makes a difference.

  “Whatcha need Ky.”

  “I need to find out who the fuck is Beggar but without drawing attention, so no P.I’s, can you pull it off.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, how?”

  “One word, golf.”

  “Golf?” I park the car in front of the only hotel in this small dead town.

  “Yup, Sabastian has recently became a fully pledged member, got his inheritance and full rights to the company.”

  “Okaaay.” I drag out the word.

  “Remember the Kent’s.”

  I groan, “How can I forget.”

  He chuckles through the speaker, so not funny. “Yeah well, Dexter’s dad died last year, so he’s taken over all of Kent’s holdings including...”

  “Being Delroy's bitch.” I finish for him with a smirk on my face.

  “Yup, if anyone can get it done, it’ll be him. I’ll talk to Sabs and get back to you by tomorrow.”

  “I knew I loved you for a reason.” I end the call and hop out of the car.

  I get into the four star dump of a hotel to go feed my friend while she creates another mass destruction weapon for the USA government while losing apart of herself in the process with one thought in my mind.

  How the fuck am I going to get close to Vincent Stone.

  Chapter 17

  Beggar

  MY HEAD RESTS UNDER a soft pillow, but my body is engulfed in strong warm arms.

  I'm safe, I must be under angel wings because I've never felt safe before.

  Did I do it? I ask myself.

  Am I dead?

  Did I finally take the short cut?

  No, I scream, no, I can't be, I’m not done. I'm not ready to die yet.

  “Sssshhh, Beauty, I got you. You safe.” I hear the voice. It's familiar, welcoming, but frightening at the same time. I wanna run from this person, but don't wanna leave. Why? Will I hurt him too? No, I don't hurt anyone. I scream, “I’m a filthy, dirty beggar. Filthy dirty beggar.”

  “Wake up Beauty, you need to WAKE UP.” The command has my eyes fluttering, I take a deep breath in as my body sighs with unaltered relief. I'm not dead. I'm still surviving.

  The green eyes I stare into brings it all back.

  Why I'm here.

  His words. “I'm never going to be able to let you go.”

  Zero surrounding me. “Wanna know why I call you Beauty?”

  Zero's arms locking me to his chest. “You gotta give me a chance to catch you when you heading for that cliff.”

  My knees buckling when he calls me Beauty.

  My undoing. “I’ll hunt the motherfucker down and I’ll kill him.”

  I'm flat on my back, Zero is looming partially above me. His arms are locking around my waist and back, forming a caged circle around my mid-section.

  His weight on his elbow under my back is holding him up as he looks directly into my eyes.

  Why the fuck am I letting him hold me.

  It's like he can see it, my indecision. He can see my battle and releases me.

  Pulling his hand out from under me.

  I crawl backward until my spine is flat to the head board, knees to my chest, hands on my toes, head to my knees but it doesn't touch, it mustn't.

  My hair falls to the front hiding my face, apart from one eye. My comfort, my blanket. I don't like how he sees me, how he looks at me. At least now I'm protected from his perceptive stare.

  “You shouldn't be in here. Where's Killer?.” My throat pains, so my question comes out deeper and drier.

  He sighs, I hear it but I don't see it. I'm chicken, I ain't gonna look at him.

  “Killer isn't going to be staying in here with you anymore Beauty.”

  My head snaps up when I feel him move and stop in front of me. One of his leather covered thighs hang off the bed while the other foot folds in, so his sock covered foot is touching the inside of his thigh, a few spaces away from me.

/>   I'm not surprised by Killer wanting to distance himself. I'm too fucked up. The guy probably got sick of my nightmares. I know they're bad, I've seen the evidence, lived through it.

  Killer isn't one to care for much. I'm surprised it lasted so long.

  I'm not sure why it gets to me.

  I expected it.

  Nothing good works out for me.

  I ain't lucky.

  Why did I think different.

  Why did I think Killer understood. Maybe he did understand, maybe he just didn't want anything to do with my shit.

  “Okay, no Killer, now get out.” I say it calmly but inside I'm a wreck. Killer helps but so did something else before I met The Satan Snipers. It was my fault that I got too close. Stupid girl.

  “Excuse me?” What he's really saying is, What the fuck.

  I should laugh at how shocked he is, but I don't find anything funny.

  Zero is not a handsome man, at all. He is sexy with dangerous eyes, succubus lips and a chiseled face that cuts you up piece by piece until you are shattered.

  I don't need to be cut up and I most definitely don't need to be shattered.

  It's clear Zero wants to fix me. If I allow him to waste his time, he will leave Falon for me, a filthy, dirty beggar because he is foolish.

  I broke years ago, my pieces so small that I became unfixable. What

  Zero feels is getting his dick wet, and being my hero, and what I feel is fear, horrific deadly fear.

  “Get. Out. Now. I want you away from me. I don't want you, all that you said I don't want it. I don't even like you, so GET. OUT.” I'm grateful for the venom in my voice, it hides the tremor that rips another piece of my dead soul but this is for the best. I am not the girl for this Enforcer, sweet Falon is. I won't come between two people. There is no future with me and this Enforcer, why can't he see that. I'm a beggar for fuck sake.

  Didn't he hear when I told him that. Didn't he get the memo when I shot those guys. There is no redemption for my sins, my soul died a long time ago. My humanity is next.

  I don't drop my gaze, and he doesn't drop his shocked one either. And then we at a stare off and I'm sure I'm going to win this, I just know it.

  Zero's eyes become smaller the longer I hold, the one with the scar ticks and he lifts his finger to rub the scar. My stomach tightens at the hard glint he bestows upon me.

  “No.” He growls tersely, “I'm not fuckin’ going anywhere. You and I are happenin’.”

  My gaze narrows and I do the stupidest thing. I piss the beast off. My legs kick out and my feet hit him in the chest. He makes a “oomph” sound, grabs my ankles and splits my legs open. He got one ankle locked in each of his big hands.

  “Let me go you asshole.” I try to twist but his grip is strong, “I don't want you.” I scream from my tortured throat.

  I snicker when he tightens his hold of my ankles in warning.

  “Too fuckin’ bad, woman.”

  “I don’t give second chances.” I glare at him as my hair falls out of my face.

  He laughs, and it's evil and arrogant, “Tough shit woman, ‘cause you’ll be giving me lots of chances, you know what else you'll be giving me.” He pulls my ankles toward him and in a swift move his fingers are curling around my thighs and I'm being lifted up until I'm straddling him.

  My air leaves me and my mouth gaps open at how quick he just manhandled me.

  His hungry gaze drinks me up and a hot need rises in my body as I close the gap between our lips. Zero moves fast, and I find my ass cheeks under his hands before my lips make contact with his. My fingers find his neck, curling around the back in a tight grip.

  I dart my tongue with a tentative glide, just for a taste, but Zero has other plans and crashes his mouth to mine, lips to lips.

  His tongue pushes into my mouth, and tangles with mine for dominance. Zero is a man certain of his actions. His kiss is experienced and pure poison.

  I kiss this man and he kisses me back.

  Our lips mash together, firm and sure as our tongues tangle and suck on each other's in an erotic dance of wills.

  Zero doesn't squeeze my ass as he did earlier, he doesn't grind into me with the hot rod coming from his leather pants right there by my denim covered opening.

  He just devours my mouth like he owns me, like he knows me.

  And I find myself kissing him like I adore him, like he could be mine, like I could have the possibility.

  I feel so much in this kiss.

  His hands on my ass, my head tilted to one side, and his to the other.

  I feel all that he wants to tell me, all that he wants to say.

  It's a good five or so minutes later that he breaks the kiss with small pecks on the corner of my mouth and I find myself smiling at him as I open my eyes.

  “You an idiot if you think a kiss will change my mind. You want to save me, but I can't be saved Zero, I don't want redemption. I got nothing to give you but pain, don't you see it. Falon is a good girl, she's the girl for you, not some fil..”

  “Don't you dare fuckin’ say it woman.” He snaps, at the same time his hands squeeze my ass in warning. “And stop telling me what's right for me. I can figure that shit out on my own. You gonna give me everything, Beauty, just like I'm going to take it and want more and besides that wasn't a kiss, that was a taste of things to come, this ass is mine now, don’t you know.”

  The char grin marking his wet lips is over boiling with manly pride and I find myself being willed to agree, just for this moment. This moment where I'm just a girl and he is just a man.

  “Don't be scared of me, you know I won't hurt you.”

  He rubs his hands up and down my ass cheeks as we stare at each other. I realize the position I'm in. My knees are holding me up as I straddle him and I got my hands around his neck massaging the knots out and I'm not freaking out. There's no monster here.

  “Thanks for that.” I say, but he doesn't know how much I mean it. He has quietened my monster even if it's just for a while. It's not the first time too and I'm truly grateful. Even if I know that we can't be, for the simple fact that I am not just a woman looking at this biker. I can never be his when I'm still fighting the chains holding me prisoner. The chains put there by another man who made me love him, made me need him until I had nothing left but a shred of humanity, just enough to keep living, keep surviving.

  I watch Zero's eyes glaze with ownership, like I'm his possession and I feel a stir of something planted deep within me. Staring into his depths I know that I want to be his, I want to be owned by a hero just one time, but just like that I'm reminded that I am someone else's possession, a beautiful monsters, who will never let me go.

  He will always search for me, he will always find me, “Tu sei mia mendicante.” You are mine beggar. Those were the last words he whispered to me, two years ago, the last time he found me.

  The thought should scare me, should leave me in fear but I find myself resigned. I had five years to accept my fate. Five years to accept my chains.

  I HIDE MY TURMOIL AS I stare into this mans harsh face, this man that keeps the monster away. By doing that I also hide my fate but I'm determined to live in this moment, for once I just want to live in this moment. Can’t I just have that.

  “You gonna jump on the back of my bike, gotta meet my dad woman.”

  I'm taken back by that and the serious look in his eyes. I drop my hands from his neck and cross them over my chest, “That doesn't sound like a question Logan.”

  He smiles at the mention of his name and I fight my own.

  “Wasn't asking you a question woman, just thinking out loud.”

  I shrug, holding in my laugh, “You gonna call me Beggar.”

  He’s silent for a moment and I pay attention to the curve of his strong jaw and not his eyes. So I'm startled when he throws his head back and laughs.

  “Nice try.” He smacks my ass, and the sound resonates through me as my body comes aflame.

  He sees it, he feels it
and does it again on the same ass cheek. My pussy clenches and I grip his rough face in my palms, my mouth going to his.

  The knock on the door stops me. I go to wiggle off him, but the bastard smacks me again. “Don't you dare move, we not done.”

  “You want them to check you with the low life.” I tug on his earlobe.

  He arches his brow, “If you talking ‘bout the one with her ass in my hands, hell yeah. Come in Knight.”

  The door opens, and I don’t move as Spade and Knight come walking in like they own the place. They're both take in our position which is obvious and maybe if I weren't me I’d be embarrassed or some shit, but again I'm not. So I stare at the men, first at Knight’s confused frown, who is the Sergeant-at-arms for The Satan Snipers, then at Spade’s haunted powder blues that are on me.

  It's clear that something is going on with the club. I picked up on it this morning. This is just confirming my suspicion.

  “Falon is looking for you man she's at the stables, says she needs a ride to Barfa, and Beggar your shifts on in twenty. Also got brothers coming in from Houston, Mercy is coming with a few others from Sugar land, gotta set beds up.” Spade says, before he storms out.

  I'm confused at Spade’s need to flee. I stare at Zero, his eyes watch the man, remorseful at his brother's retreating form.

  Knight however sits on the bed behind me. “This really breaks my heart Beggar, I really thought I was getting in there any day now.”

  I turn my head to the Italian biker. Knight is a charming male, a true Italian, a ladies man.

  My hands leave Zero's neck, his stay firmly on my ass, a sign of possession. If only.

  I see the playful glint on the Sergeant-at-arms and maybe it's because I'm in a compromised position, or maybe it's because I just kissed Zero, and he practically claimed me in front of his brothers but I reciprocate.

  My voice drops with my eyes as I stare intently at Knight, trapping him in my black soul, “And where exactly is there, Cavaliere.” The word rolls off my tongue easily. Knight is shocked and quietens as I watch him, waiting.

  “Sei Italiano.”

  I drop my gaze at his statement, there's no way I can answer that. I should've kept my mouth shut, stupid me. I didn't think one word is a big deal.