Stained Hearts

by Parker Williams

  “And am I worth it?”

  There was a quiet desperation in his voice. It was the plaintive sound of someone who’d been kicked aside his whole life by people who should have loved him and by others he had pinned his hopes on. And now he was doing it with me. He’d decided that I was the person who he could depend on, who would be there for him.

  “Yeah, you’re very worth it.” I kissed him then, pouring all my passion and need into it. He whimpered and threw his arms around my neck. When I tried to pull back, he clung tighter. We probably would have kept at it if Olivia hadn’t cleared her throat.

  “Your mom says dessert is ready.” She turned and went back into the house.

  Aiden’s eyes were wide, his cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry! I—”

  “We’re not done, Aiden.” I tucked a knuckle under his chin. “We’re just beginning.”

  In that moment I decided I would tell him soon. Not now, when emotions were as raw as an exposed nerve, but soon, when he would know I wasn’t saying it to make him feel better.

  And I couldn’t wait for that day.

  THE SUN had long since set. Aiden, Olivia, and I were ready to go, but he was pensive. When Mom came over and hugged him, he stiffened.

  “I’m so sorry, Rachel. What I said was—”

  She covered his mouth. “Nothing. You said nothing wrong, sweetheart.” She drew her hand back. “In your shoes, I doubt I would have reacted any differently. The whole incident is forgotten, okay? Now, give me a real hug.”

  His lower lip quivered, and he threw himself into Mom’s arms. She held tight, stroking a hand down his back.

  “This is your home, Aiden. We are your family. If you ever need us, you’ll call. If you’re ever scared, you let us know. We love you, and we want you happy.” She kissed him on the cheek.

  Dad stepped up behind Aiden and wrapped his big arms around both of them. He leaned in close to Aiden. “What she said, Aiden. If you don’t mind, I’d like to impart one bit of wisdom on you. Something you can keep close to your heart for when times are tough. Are you ready?”

  Aiden straightened his shoulders. “Yes, sir.”

  “Farting on an elevator is wrong on so many levels. Always remember that.”

  Aiden snorted, and then his eyes went shiny before he fell into Dad’s arms. Dad patted him on the back. “It’s going to be okay, son. One day you’ll know that you can trust us, and we won’t ever let you down.”

  Then Dad kissed Aiden on the forehead, which surprised me. Dad might look it, but he wasn’t gruff or anything, though this type of affection was generally a rare thing for him. When I looked at his face, I could see the truth he wasn’t saying. He had already let Aiden and Olivia into his heart, but he was waiting on me before he said anything.

  Galen and Robert hugged Olivia and Aiden, and then each of them hugged me. When it came time for Mom and Dad to hug me, I soaked up the warmth.

  “Thank you,” I whispered to them. “For showing him he’s got someone.”

  “He’s a lovely boy, Thomas. He and Olivia? They’re always welcome here.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Oh, I almost forgot!” She reached into her pocket and drew out a brown paper bag, which she handed to me. “It’s for later.” She leaned in and whispered in my ear. “For Aiden.”

  I went back to Aiden and Olivia. “Ready to go?”

  “They invited us back.” Olivia’s voice was filled with awe. Until that moment I’d forgotten that when she took Aiden in, she lost her family too.

  “My mom loves you. She’s always wanted a daughter. I foresee many shopping excursions in your future.”

  Her breath hitched. “Really?”

  The vulnerability there, on display for anyone to see, could thaw the coldest heart. Their parents had destroyed everything family was supposed to mean, but I wasn’t worried. Mine would do what they did with Galen and Brian. They would be assimilated into this big, messy, Borg-like entity, which, in time, would make them one of us.

  “Yeah, really. You and Aiden made quite the impression.”

  Aiden opened his mouth, but I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

  “And not a bad one either.”

  His cheeks pinked. “I know. When she took me back into the kitchen, she sat me down at the sink. She washed, I dried. It was… nice. Normal, even. She kept up a constant stream of chatter, asking me about my glass, school, and even our parents. When I told her what happened, she snorted with disgust, then apologized. She said she had no use for people who would do that to their children.” He drew in a breath. “Then she said we didn’t need to worry about it anymore, because we had a new family, if we wanted one.”

  “My parents don’t make that offer lightly. So if you want, you’re in.”

  He turned to Olivia, and I could see the longing there in both of them. The desire—the need—to belong again. To know they weren’t alone in the world, and to know that when times got tough, they’d have someone to lean on.

  I might have understood my mom’s dislike of their parents.

  The drive back home was quiet. When we got to Olivia’s, Aiden hesitated. He turned to me, leaned in close, and asked, “Can I stay with you tonight?”

  Only a fool would say no.

  “Olivia, Aiden’s going to stay with me tonight, okay?”

  She smiled. “That’s fine. He’s a big boy, and he can make those decisions on his own.”

  “But what about you?” He frowned. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

  “And I’m a big girl. I can promise you, I’m not going to be hurting for things to do.” She pulled him close and kissed him on the cheek. “Have fun. Love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  She got out of the car and gave a wave before she went into the apartment building.

  Aiden bit his lip. “Maybe I should stay.”

  “Why?”

  He shrugged. “She looked sad. I hate it when she isn’t happy.”

  “It’s been an emotional day for both of you. Being sucked into the family drains a person. If you remember, I look dazed for a good day after Sunday dinner.”

  He cocked his head a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”

  I reached into my pocket, where I’d stashed the bag Mom had given me, and handed it to Aiden. “This is from Mom.”

  He opened it and gasped. He reached inside and pulled out small chunks of fudge. “Oh God.” He popped a piece in his mouth. “These are my favorite.”

  I chuckled. “She’s got your ticket.”

  He stopped midchew. “Part of me wants to question this. Like, is she really okay with me? And another part wants to accept it at face value.”

  I gave him a smile. “Go with the second one. Mom isn’t one to say something she doesn’t mean.” I brushed my thumb over his cheek. “She really, truly, honestly does love you. Believe in her and in yourself.”

  He smiled ruefully. “My therapist says I need to work on my self-esteem.” Then he blanched. “I stopped going a long time ago.”

  “Why?” My poor Aiden, so ready to assume someone was going to kick him to the curb if he wasn’t perfect. “When Brian died, I saw a grief therapist. I only stopped seeing them recently. There is never anything wrong with needing help, you know. What was it Mom said to you? We’re your family, and if you ever need us, you let us know.”

  He hummed. “This is going to take getting used to.”

  “We have time. Now, what say we go get some sleep?”

  One stretch and a yawn later, we were headed into the house. As Aiden moved with his walker, I stayed beside him the whole way. He might think he needed to keep up with me, but he was wrong. In this marathon, the only way for us to win was for the two of us to finish it together.

  Now I needed to work on convincing Aiden that he and I belonged side by side, so the race could truly begin.

  Chapter Fourteen

  THE NEXT morning, Aiden was still asleep when I woke up. I slipped out of bed a
nd stood there for several minutes, watching the rise and fall of his chest. The way he curled his arm under the pillow. The slow, deep breaths he took. Aiden looked so innocent and unburdened when he was sleeping.

  “I know you’re watching me.” And then he woke up and that innocence vanished.

  “Morning.”

  He reached up and rubbed his eyes. “Hey. What time is it?”

  “Almost nine.”

  “I can’t remember ever sleeping so late until I met you.” He grinned. “Not that I’m complaining, you understand.” He stretched, and the covers slipped down his chest, coming to rest just above his pubic hair. It was a tantalizing picture. He must have realized I was looking, because he ran a hand down his stomach. “Like what you see?”

  “Yup.” I crawled across the bed. “Very much.”

  When I pulled him up into my arms, he squawked. “What are you doing?”

  I might not be ready to say the words, but I could show Aiden how I felt. “We’re going to shower.”

  His eyebrows went up. “Oh?”

  “Yup.” I leered at him. “Today we’re going to be doing a few new things.”

  “Oh!” He locked his arm around my neck. “What’s taking you so long? Let’s go!”

  His enthusiasm was infectious. We rushed to the bathroom and got in the shower. No leisurely spray for us today. Instead, I grabbed the washcloth and bodywash, then scrubbed his body, making sure to hit every nook and cranny. For what I wanted to do to him, we needed to ensure he was a very clean young man.

  As I washed him, he pulled the shampoo down and scrubbed my hair. His touch was gentle, sensual, and when coupled with his breathy pants, a total turn-on.

  “You nervous?”

  Hell yes. “Some. How about you?”

  “Not in the least.” His higher-than-normal pitch, coupled with the fact that he wasn’t taking his hands off me, belied that statement. “Okay, a little.”

  “We don’t have to, you know. There’s plenty of things we can do without—”

  “If you say things we can do without sex, I will kill you in your sleep.”

  I chortled. “Why in my sleep?”

  Aiden smacked my head gently. “Because you can’t run away. Duh.” He pulled me up. “Let’s go get dirty again.”

  After turning off the water, I dried him with slow, deliberate swipes over his skin, paying special attention to his cock and balls. He was hard, and a drop of precome beaded at the tip. I leaned down and swiped my tongue over it.

  “So good. Must be all those sweets.”

  “Please…. Don’t do that again.”

  I leaned back. “Are you okay?”

  His eyes were squeezed shut, and his fists were flexing.

  “Aiden?”

  “I almost came when you licked me! God, I’ve been looking forward to this for years, but not one person I ever thought about was as real as you. You’re like all that and a bag of chocolate chips.”

  Because of course he had to work chocolate in there.

  I grinned. “I feel the same about you.”

  I stood over him, then lifted him up, cradling him to me. God, this was something I would never tire of. Having his warmth in my arms, his fingers dancing over my shoulder, his face buried in my neck.

  I love you, Aiden.

  Yay! You thought the words. Now say them.

  One day.

  Coward.

  When we got to the bedroom, I put him down on the bed. He sprawled out, his legs spread. He looked entirely wanton.

  “Enough window-shopping! Take me for a test drive.”

  I dropped down beside him. “Sorry, I like taking my time to check out all the amenities.” I ran a hand over his chest and tweaked his nipples. He moaned. “Hm. Seems responsive.” As I moved my hand down lower, his breathing quickened. I wrapped my fingers around his straining shaft, and he squeaked. “Ooh, might have to have that checked. Squeaky brakes could lead to a huge repair bill later on.” I bent over and took him in my mouth, and he fisted the comforter as he cried out. I grinned to myself, because we had a long way to go.

  “Can you…?”

  I pulled back. “What? What do you want?”

  “Lick my balls?”

  His hesitancy was something we would have to work on. I wanted him to come apart under my touch, but I also wanted him to ask—beg—for what he wanted. I moved down lower and swiped my tongue over his sac.

  He murmured something I didn’t quite catch.

  “What did you say?”

  “Can you…. Could you move my legs? Open them up some more.”

  “No.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

  As gently as I could, I rolled him over onto his stomach, his legs open. “Because this is how I want you.”

  His creamy cheeks were pale with a few freckles on them. I remembered wanting to lick the freckles before, but now the urge overwhelmed me. I leaned in closer and put the tip of my tongue on one of them.

  He yelped. “What are you doing?”

  Instead of answering, I continued the slow, steady line I was drawing on his butt. The taste of his skin was incredible. What I thought would have been masked by the soap still had a spicy undercurrent. The urge to see how rich that taste would be inside him hit me hard. I put a hand on each cheek and spread them.

  “Tom?” His voice quavered.

  I had no intention of scaring him or doing something he was uncomfortable with. “If you want me to stop, tell me. This is supposed to be fun for both of us, and I don’t want you doing it because you think I’ll like it. You understand?”

  He didn’t answer, so I swatted him gently on the cheek.

  “Aiden, talk to me.”

  He buried his face in the pillow. “Yes, I understand. I just…. No one’s ever done anything like this to me before, and I’m a little scared.”

  And if I had my way, no one would ever have the chance to know what they’d overlooked by dismissing Aiden. I fully intended on keeping him.

  “I promise, I won’t hurt you.”

  He tilted his head and turned his pleading gaze in my direction. “I know. I trust you.”

  That was probably the most amazing thing he could say. Knowing I earned his trust meant a lot to me.

  “Okay, close your eyes.”

  He let them drift shut. I grinned, because Aiden was about to embark on a world tour of sensual pleasures that, hopefully, I would be the only one who he’d ever allow to provide. I put a hand on each cheek again and spread them wide. His pink hole looked so damn inviting, and I had to sample him. Without giving him time to think about what was happening, I leaned in and speared him with my tongue.

  “Oh my fucking God!” His head snapped up. “What the fuck?”

  “Did you like that?”

  His brow furrowed. “People actually do that?”

  “Oh, baby. I don’t know what kind of porn you watch, but a lot of guys love it. I happen to be one of them. Now, do you want me to stop?”

  He bit his lip, that incredible thing that he did that sent my heart racing. “No.”

  “All right, then.” I winked at him, and he gave me a shy smile. “Buckle up, cowboy.”

  When he wrapped his fingers in the sheets, I leaned in closer to him.

  “Aiden? Are you okay with this?”

  He snorted. “I’m horny, man! Get a move on.” He bit his lip again, and I groaned. It was endearing and sexy at the same time. “And maybe a little nervous.”

  I stroked a finger over his crack, delighted when he shivered. “This goes no further than you want it to. If you want to just lie here and kiss, we can totally do that. If all you want is to sleep, that’s fine too.”

  “And if I want to get fucked?” His cheeks reddened. “Sorry.”

  I laughed. “Don’t be. I’m glad you’re enthusiastic about it.” I kissed his right buttcheek. “When I’m done here, if you still want to do that, I’ll be up for it.”

  His gaze traveled down
to my cock, jutting upward. “Looks like you’re up for it now.”

  “I would be, but….”

  Aiden stared at me. “But?”

  How could I say what was on my mind? He needed to understand how I regarded sex.

  “Do you know what sex is? Or at least what it should be? I’m not talking about hiding someone away and letting you blow them on occasion. I’m talking sex between two men.”

  “Uh, yeah.” He grinned. “Hot, sweaty times between two guys.”

  I frowned at him. “Really? Is that what you think it is? To me, it’s two bodies coming together, in passion and lo—sensuality. Anyone can fuck, but that’s just mindless rutting. It’s what people who have no feelings for each other do. What we’re doing isn’t fucking, and no matter how many times we do it, it will never be that.”

  Now that I’d said it, I realized I had made a promise to Aiden. We’d be together longer than this encounter. It was up to him if he wanted that.

  “Wow. That was… beautiful. Show me how it feels, then, to be with someone I care for.” He watched me, and his expression changed from wanton lust to sweet and tender.

  I spread his cheeks again and went back to what I’d been doing. I would make him come apart under me. I would show him in actions if I couldn’t yet say it in words.

  Long, slow swipes of my tongue swathed his hole, piercing the pucker. His moans spurred me on, wanting more of them. I slid my tongue in as far as I could, loosening him. While I licked, he humped the bed, and I certainly couldn’t have that. I slid an arm around him and pulled him up to me, keeping him out of reach of the friction he desperately sought.

  “Tom, I need to come.”

  His pleading was sweet but futile. This was my show, and I wasn’t about to be rushed. I encircled his shaft with my left hand and tugged gently as I moved up and down along his crack. He tried thrusting into my hand, but I released him, drawing out yet another long, low whine. When he began bucking, I stopped completely and rolled him over. He stared at me, his eyes wide, pupils blotting out the color. He might think he was ready, but not just yet.