And Here I'll Stay

by Rita Hestand

  Maria watched her leave.

  "Happy I'm home!" she shook her head. "I doubt that."

  She found the old Mare in the last stall in the barn and patted her affectionately on the rump. "Let's go to work, Sally."

  Anna had named her quickly, after a friend she had as a little girl. It was the only girl friend she had, but Sally caught the pox and died. Calling the mare Sally made her remember and appreciate the little girl. But as she was cinching her horse, she noticed the other stalls filled with beautiful horses. She paused and went around the stalls looking at them and patting them on the rump. He certainly had spent some money on these.

  She took Sally out, waved to George and left.

  It wasn't dawn yet and the sun was barely peeking over the horizon. She tried to enjoy the scenery and still hurry off to work. Trees lined the road to town and Anna sipped her coffee from the big tin cup Maria had given her. "I love Texas, Sally. I'll never leave her. She's got more trees and flowers than any place I ever seen."

  Sally neighed.

  Blue bonnets peppered the earth in the open fields, and she gasped at how lovely they were. She'd always wanted to roll around in them, absorbing their beauty. She smiled and hurried on. God planted those; she was sure of it.

  But Mr. Pettigrew was ailing when she got there. Some kind of stomach trouble. He was doubling over with pain. His face was white as a sheet and he had thrown up several times. He looked feverish. Anna wished she could take him to her mother, she could fix him up.

  The messes Mr. Pettigrew made, she'd have to clean up and see to him, somehow.

  When Harold Martin came in with his horse early that morning, Anna pulled him aside. "Can you take Mr. Pettigrew to my folks place. Momma will know what to give him. I can't leave as there are horses to tend to. He's pretty sick though."

  "Sure, be glad to." Harold glanced at Mr. Pettigrew and saw how sick he was. "Yes, ma'am well take care of him."

  So, they got Mr. Pettigrew on top of Sally, as she was a gentle horse, Anna explained, and Harold rode off with him.

  Anna handled the influx of horses that day when Susan came in with a thrown shoe.

  "Can you fix her?" Susan asked looking a bit skeptical at her.

  "Sure, just leave him here, I'll have him ready by five this afternoon." Anna glanced about seeing the work mounting up and not knowing how she could handle it all.

  "So, what are you doing working here?" Susan snarled her pretty little nose up at her, tossing her red-brown hair over her shoulder her dark brown eyes looked menacing.

  "I wanted to work, so I got a job here."

  "Really, why? I mean it isn't like Joe can't support you." Her voice was cutting as she spoke. "And here of all places."

  "I looked for other jobs first, but Mr. Pettigrew hired me on the spot. None of the others did. Joe has nothing to do with my working here. It was my idea. I like working with horses."

  "Well, he has a full stable of horses, why don't you just take care of them." Susan shook her head with disgust. "Just look at you, your pathetic, in pants, your hair pulled under that flop hat."

  "Susan, is there something else I can help you with?" Anna asked good-naturedly.

  "You're creating quite a scandal you know." Susan said coming to stand close and watch her work.

  "Oh, how so?"

  "Joe came home alone, now you're living with him. What gives?" Susan smiled snidely at her. "What are you up to now?"

  "I don't think she's up to anything, Susan. She's my wife, where else would you expect her to live?" Joe said standing in the doorway of the livery staring at them.

  Susan whirled on her boots and stared at Joe who was frowning at her now. "Well, some of the people thought you two might not be getting along."

  "Well then you can tell them we are," Joe told her as he walked up to Anna and kissed her on the cheek. "Good day to you Susan." He said without turning around.

  Susan stomped out of the livery.

  When she was gone, Anna looked at him. He was smiling.

  "What are you doing here?" Anna asked so proud he took up for her but wishing he hadn't had to.

  "I came in to order that part. Someone said Pettigrew was ill." He glanced around not seeing the old man.

  "Yeah, he was very sick when I got here. When Harold came by with his horse, I asked him to take him to Momma's, she'll know what to do for him. I let him take Sally. She's gentler."

  "I'm sorry I was ugly about Sally. You've obviously grown close to her."

  "Her gentle nature reminds me of Buttercup." She chuckled. "Which reminds me, did you take the stallion over to the Finches?"

  "Yeah I dropped him off yesterday morning. Melanie said she'd have him purring in a week or so."

  "Melanie, Melanie Finch?"

  "Yeah, Jess and Linda's daughter."

  "Is she training horses now?" Anna asked thinking about Melanie and how beautiful she was.

  "Yeah, she's trained several of my horses."

  "That's nice." She remarked not giving him much of her attention.

  "You alright here by yourself?" he asked, his brow raising.

  "Sure, I'm pretty good with horses too." She remarked offhandedly.

  He came up closer to her, "I know that."

  "I'll be fine."

  "Good. I'll pick you up at seven then." He informed her firmly.

  "You don't have to."

  "If Harold has Sally, I better at least check." He winked.

  "Fine. And thanks for stopping Susan from making a fool of herself. I am really busy today and didn't have time to spar with her."

  "I can see that. I thought y'all use to be friends."

  "I'm not sure Susan and I were ever really friends. But if you want the town to know something, she's the one to spread it. Might be why we're not such good friends."

  He chuckled.

  "Tell Maria, thanks for breakfast." She said softly.

  "Maria thinks the world of you!" He came back toward her.

  "Really, why?"

  He came closer, "Well aside from being a bit on the wild side, you got a sweetness about you that is irresistible." He bent, kissed her lightly on the lips and started walking out.

  "See ya later, darlin'." He winked as he glanced at her over his shoulder.

  Anna was so busy that day she had little time to think about Susan, Melanie or Joe. It was one thing after another all day long. Mr. Johnson came in with a belly-aching horse. Anna mixed a concoction and gave it to the horse. In an hour the horse had perked up. A man came in with a busted wagon wheel, and Anna knew she wasn't going to be able to fix that. She told the man she'd see about it, but it would take a few days, thinking Mr. Pettigrew would be back by then. And then when Susan returned that afternoon for her horse she hesitated leaving.

  Anna hoped she wasn't going to get catty again, as she was too tired to put up with her.

  "I'm sorry I was so rude this morning. Guess I got up on the wrong side of the bed." Susan apologized.

  "That's alright, we all have our days." She shot her a quick grin.

  "Where's Pettigrew?"

  "He was sick this morning. Harold took him out to Momma's. She'll fix him up."

  "Is it serious?"

  "I don't know, but she should be able to help him. Or send for the doc one."

  "Anna, why are you working here?" Susan finally blurted with exasperation. "The whole town is talking about it. I've never even heard of a woman working in a place like this."

  Anna turned to look at her seriously. "Ever had someone tell you the truth about yourself?"

  "I don't know, what are you talking about?"

  "Nothing," Anna sighed.

  "Are you going to the dance this Saturday?" Susan asked her.

  "No, I'm afraid not. I have work to do. Parties are no longer part of my life."

  "Well, that's strange. I thought Joe loved to dance," Susan blurted.

  "You're really worried about Joe, aren't you?" Anna asked without anger.


  "You know how I have always felt about him. Just because you married him, doesn't mean anything has changed with me. Your so flippant you'll be divorcing him in three months if I know you! He deserves better than that. You only married him to save face. But you aren't fooling anyone. You never loved him; not like I do."

  Dear God, everyone knew her so well! Flippant? Was that how everyone saw her? She'd have to look that word up in the library or ask the town schoolteacher what it meant. Did she even care anymore how people saw her? Right now, she'd give anything for a good meal, and a lot of sleep.

  "I guess you better be going now. I've got to finish up here." Anna said rather forcibly, holding back her temper and the tears that welled in her eyes.

  Susan stomped out of the livery.

  Anna fell to the floor and cried. Realizing she was at work, she dried her eyes and started closing up the livery. Harold hadn't come back with Sally, not that she was worried, but she was concerned about Mr. Pettigrew.

  Right at seven Joe showed up.

  "He didn't come back?"

  "No, I'm a little concerned. I'd like to go home and see if he's alright."

  Joe nodded. "Come on, we'll make a run out there and check on him."

  She turned the lamps out and locked the livery. Joe helped her.

  On the ride out there, she was very quiet.

  "So how did it go with Pettigrew sick?"

  "It was a day, hope he's better. I got a few things I can't handle."

  "Oh, like what?" Joe asked.

  "Man came in with a broken Wheel. I can't fix that and unless Mr. Pettigrew is better, I'm not sure what I'll do. Had one man bring five horses to stable for the week, so that's added work too. It might get rough, if he isn't well enough to come back soon."

  "Don't fret, we'll figure something out."

  When they got to her parents' house her mother was fixing supper.

  "Did Mr. Pettigrew show up?" Anna asked.

  "Oh yes he did."

  "Well, what happened?" Anna asked a bit snappy.

  "He was really sick, and Harold went for the doctor. The doc had to operate on him here. He's in your room now, resting. It was his appendix, they almost burst. Had he gotten here an hour later; Mr. Pettigrew would have died."

  "My God, I had no idea it was that serious." Anna cried. "He is gonna be alright, though, isn't he?"

  "You bet, but it might be a few days before he can work again."

  "I can handle things there. I did just fine today."

  Her mother looked at her then Joe, "Stay for supper, won't you?"

  "If it's not a bother?" Joe smiled. "I love your chicken."

  Her Momma laughed, "Good."

  Her dad came in and hugged her Momma then her, "Did you hear all the excitement we had today?"

  "Yeah, Momma was just telling us."

  "You gonna be able to handle the livery for the next week?"

  "I hope so." Anna told them. "although I got a problem with a busted wagon wheel, I don’t have a clue how to fix that."

  "I'll send George to help her tomorrow." Joe told them.

  Joe and her dad talked forever after supper out on the porch, while she and her Momma did the dishes.

  "So, how's married life?" Her mother asked.

  "It's okay."

  "Just okay?" her mother asked.

  "I have my own room, and he has a lady that cooks and a maid that cleans, so he really doesn't need me much."

  "A room of your own?" her mother questioned.

  "Momma, it's not a regular marriage. We haven't… "

  Her mother's eyes rounded on her. "Why not?" her mother gasped.

  "Joe doesn't love me." She said it so sadly her mother stared.

  "Do you love? I mean, when you were younger you were crazy about him."

  "I-I—"

  "You're not sure, are you?"

  "No, I loved him as my best friend all my life, but now things are different. I don't know him anymore. He's a wonderful man. And he deserves better."

  Her mother looked at her and came toward her, grabbing her shoulders. "Now you look here, girl. You are a good person too. And I got a feeling, if you don't go and do something crazy, it will all work out fine. Just be patient. It happened suddenly, but it doesn't mean it's not meant to be."

  "I'll be patient."

  "You're not still thinking of divorce, are you?"

  "I don't know. If things don't change, then I'll have to."

  "But you don't want a divorce, do you?"

  Anna shook her head and let the tears fall.

  "I should. I think he likes Melanie Finch."

  "Has he said so?"

  "No, but they are pretty close. She does a lot of horse training for him."

  "That doesn't mean they are in love." Her mother cautioned.

  "No, but his eyes kind of sparkle when he talks about her."

  "Don't be too hasty. Give it time sweetheart. It takes men longer sometimes to know they love you."

  Anna sighed. "I'll try. Susan let me know she wants him, but I don't think he has any feelings for her."

  "Then why Melanie?"

  "I don't know, just a feeling."

  "Don't you give into this feeling. You got no proof there is anything between them. You hang on to your man. He married you, remember that."

  Anna took her words to her heart. Her mother believed in one man to love all her life. Anna wanted to believe that, but it was hard with what had already happened to her. She was impulsive, crazy sometimes, what man would really want her as a wife?

  Chapter Eleven

  "I'm sure glad Mr. Pettigrew is gonna be alright," Anna muttered.

  "Yeah, that is something. Good thing you sent him out there, he could have died at the livery."

  "Gives me the willies just thinking about it." Anna told him.

  "Don't worry about the busted wheel. George can fix that real quick." Joe assured her. "He was practically raised in a livery stable himself."

  "Really? Well, I appreciate it, I don't want to run business off for Mr. Pettigrew while he's sick. People have gotten so used to coming there to get anything fixed that there is no telling what will be next. I never realized the amount of work he did."

  "You know you don't have to do this, don't you?" Joe asked.

  "Let's don't go into that. I'm too tired to fuss with you tonight." She said with a long sigh.

  "Well now, that sounds promising. You know we don't have to fuss at each other at all. We could start getting along."

  She yawned.

  "You could lay down in the back there, and rest if you want."

  "Oh, you don't mind?" she asked.

  "Go on," he chuckled.

  But when they got home, she was fast asleep, and he stared down at her for the longest before he picked her up in his arms and carried her inside.

  Maria saw him and smiled, "She looks tired."

  "Yeah, she is. She's had herself a day."

  "She is a good woman, a woman of quality."

  "Yes ma'am, I noticed that too!" Joe smiled at Maria.

  He took her upstairs but knowing she wouldn't get out of her clothes by herself as tired as she was, he took her to his room and laid her on his bed. He put a blanket over her and then put his pajamas on and crawled in bed with her.

  Something about her being in his bed stirred him. He took a curl and wound it around his finger and stared at her. She had a smudge on her cheek, and he reached to wipe it away, she moaned and came closer to his warmth.

  Before morning she was wrapped in his arms and her head was just under his chin. One arm was thrown over his shoulder and one leg curled with his.

  His eyes opened and suddenly she was wide awake and staring at him.

  "What, what am I doing in here?" she asked startled.

  "You went to sleep in the wagon last night. I brought you up here, covered you and let you sleep."

  "W-why didn't you take me to my room?"

  "You had all your clothes on, and
I didn't think you could get undressed by yourself you were so worn out."

  Her hand was still on his shoulder and she stared at his naked chest. She looked down at him and moved away. "Did we do anything?"

  He almost chuckled but knew it might hurt her feelings.

  "No, nothing."

  "You're sure?"

  "I'm sure."

  When she saw something move under the covers, she shrieked and jumped out of the bed. "Something is moving under there."

  "Well it's morning." He said so matter-of-factly.

  "So?"

  "All men move in the morning." He sighed with exasperation.

  She blushed profusely. "Oh… well," she looked down at herself and saw she had all her clothes on. "I better get ready for work."

  He nodded. "Fine."

  She went to her room and her face felt on fire; she was so embarrassed. Why didn’t she know about men in the morning? Her mother neglected to tell her about it. How dumb could a woman be? He must think her a total idiot.

  And naturally nothing happened. He didn't love her; it was that simple.

  She felt hopelessly stupid and realized with shock that she had wanted him to take her.

  "That's ridiculous. We aren't in love!"

  She brushed her hair, changed her clothes and went downstairs. Joe was standing near the coffee pot and poured her a cup.

  "Well, I guess I better get going."

  "George is going with you this morning, so you'll take the wagon in and bring it back this evening."

  "Alright, thanks. You don't need it?" She swallowed and took the coffee he offered.

  "No, I can borrow Melanie's if I need it."

  "Oh," she said without comment. But she filed that information for later.

  "Maria is out gathering eggs, but she left you and George something to eat later."

  "That was sweet of her. She's really a sweet lady." Anna dropped her head. "I'm sorry about this morning. I guess I was dead tired last night."

  She started to leave and stomped her foot, "I'm always making such a fool of myself."

  He came toward her now with a purpose. "You didn't make a fool of yourself. How the hell would you know what a man does in the morning?"

  "Yeah," she met his gaze. "How the hell would I know." She repeated.

  Seeing her head go down, he took a curled finger and pulled her chin up, "I'm glad you didn't know about it, darlin'."