The Pirate (Captains & Cannons Book 1)

by Galen Surlak-Ramsey

  “What are those things?” Ethan asked. “Goblins?”

  “No, they’re kobolds—goblins’ weaker reptilian cousins.”

  “What are they doing with that dog?” Ethan asked.

  “I think it’s a jackal,” Zoey said. “And I’m not sure, but I imagine that’s what they’re arguing about. We should go.”

  “Why? We can take them.”

  “I’m sure we could, but I’m not one for random slaughter, and that’s all this will be. They’re not hurting anyone.”

  “I probably need the combat practice, though, right?”

  “Yes, but still,” Zoey said with hesitation. “I don’t feel like this is the right time.”

  Ethan didn’t know what to make of her wariness, but at that point in the conversation, the three kobolds took note of them both. They whipped around to face them and drew daggers from their waistband. In prompt response, Zoey grunted and pulled her pistols.

  “What you humanses wants?” the one in the middle asked, shaking his weapon at the two of them. “This is our find. Our goat!”

  “Goat? What goat?” Ethan said, readying his cutlass. Though he was squaring off against three kobolds, and in every game he had ever played these little guys were nothing more than cannon fodder, somehow staring down these creatures as they held very real and very sharp-looking daggers pointed at him made things a little different than when he was in front of his computer.

  “What goat? What goat! You leaves our goatses alone!” it shrieked right before it charged.

  The kobold was faster than Ethan anticipated, and when it swung at him with his dagger, he barely managed to jump back in time before he had a good look at his entrails. Still, he didn’t escape unscathed. The point of the dagger drew across his leather cuirass, but thankfully it didn’t manage to cut through.

  A kobold grazed you.

  Not expecting Narrator to, well, narrate, Ethan jumped back again, nearly losing his footing as he did. The kobold pressed the attack, but this time Ethan was ready enough to knock the blow aside with his blade.

  You parried the kobold’s attack.

  “Yes, I figured that part out, thank you!” he yelled. “I don’t need a play-by-play account right now.”

  Ethan’s attacker stopped his assault, probably trying to figure out why he was screaming at an unseen someone. Ethan seized the opportunity and swung with his weapon. The blade neatly loped off the kobold’s head, and the body fell to the ground with a quiet thump.

  Kobold killed!

  You feel slightly more experienced.

  Narrator sounded thrilled when he made that first announcement, though since it was all playing in Ethan’s head, Ethan wondered if maybe he had some effect on how it came out since he, too, was ecstatic that he’d made his first kill.

  Ethan spun around, expecting that at least one, if not both, of the remaining kobolds would be coming at him. Instead of staring at flashing steel, he saw one kobold flat on its back with a hole in its head, and the other staring down the barrel of Zoey’s second pistol, which had yet to be fired.

  “Last chance to run along,” she said. “I won’t miss.”

  The kobold didn’t reply, but it definitely understood. It spun around and darted off, wailing in a high-pitched voice the entire time. Once it was finally gone, she stuffed the weapon back in her belt and reloaded her other gun.

  “Nicely done,” she said while working. “I would’ve been embarrassed otherwise. Not sure I could even admit having known you had you died on your first encounter.”

  “Thanks,” Ethan said. He then pointed to her outside forearm where a fine red line ran across it. “Looks like he grazed you, too.”

  Zoey looked down, and she sighed heavily. “Damn it to hell and back,” she muttered, shaking her head.

  “What? It’s not that bad. It’s barely bleeding.”

  “Don’t tell me what’s bad and what’s not,” she snapped. Zoey held up a hand and sighed before shaking her head. “I’m sorry,” she said in a much more controlled manner. “I shouldn’t have bitten your head off like that. It’s a little embarrassing he got me at all, you know? I mean, damn, I saw that knife throw coming a mile away, and it still nicked me.”

  Ethan scratched his head, unsure of how to respond. He felt there was more to it than what she was saying, but at the same time, he didn’t feel it was worth pursuing, either—or perhaps wise, for that matter. There was something dark right behind the liveliness in the pirate’s eyes, something he didn’t want to know about.

  As such, he decided to search the body of the kobold he’d killed. “Wonder if he’s got anything.”

  “A farthing or two, I’d wager,” Zoey said as she sifted through the pockets of the kobold she’d dropped. Her eyes lit up as she pulled forth a copper coin. “Oh, look! A penny! Holy snort, that’s a lot of coin for one of these guys.”

  “Don’t spend it all in one place,” Ethan said with a grin.

  “With three more, I could buy everything you own.”

  Ethan unapologetically threw up his hands. He might have currently been sporting “economy gear” for the “budget-friendly” swashbuckler, but that wouldn’t last, especially if this was a land ripe with pirates, because much like dragons, where there were pirates, there were hordes’ treasure, only without the promise of a fiery death or tied-up damsels in distress.

  “Let’s see what sort of loot awaits,” he said, rifling through the dead kobold’s pockets. “Piece of string. A halfpenny. And a ring.”

  Two of the three he took. One of the two he used. Narrator narrated accordingly.

  You have taken the halfpenny!

  You have taken the ring!

  You’ve put on the ring!

  New trait gained!

  “New trait gained?” Ethan repeated, looking himself over.

  “Trait?” Zoey tilted her head to the side, but then her eyes went wide as she dashed over to him. “Oh, god, no!”

  “Wait, what?”

  Zoey sighed and shook her head as she looked at the thin bronze band Ethan now wore on his right hand. “Ethan! Why the hell did you do that?”

  “Do what?” he asked. “Take the ring?”

  “Yes. I mean, no. I mean, please, God, tell me you can take it off,” she said.

  Ethan tried. Though it had slipped on easily enough, the little piece of circular metal wouldn’t budge in the least when he sought to remove it. “Cripes, that’s a tight fit,” he said. “Hope that doesn’t mean we have to cut it off later.”

  “No, it means someone will have to cut you in two if they want it,” Zoey replied.

  “Come again?”

  “Or shoot you, or stab you through the heart, or take your head off,” she went on, enumerating on her fingertips.

  “Hey, now, I don’t want it that badly.”

  “Well, you should’ve thought of that before you stuck it on your hand,” she said with a huff.

  “Could you fill me in on the rest,” he said. “Because clearly, I’m not following what you’re telling me.”

  “Some magical items around here don’t like being passed around,” she replied. “So when they find a new owner, they stick to him like glue. Hopefully, this isn’t one of those that’s cursed, too.”

  Ethan felt queasy. “Cursed? With what?”

  Zoey sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. “No telling. Do you feel different?”

  “No?” Ethan patted himself down a few times to be extra sure. “I feel pretty good, to be honest.”

  “That’s something, at least,” she said. “Still, we’ll need to get it identified by someone soon, assuming we can’t figure it out on our own.”

  “Can we? That would make things a lot easier if we did.”

  Zoey shrugged. “Maybe. People have before. But with all the endless possibilities and ways of tapping into that magic, it’s pretty hard. See what your character sheet says. Maybe it will help.”

  Ethan took out the paper. Under his mai
n stats, which hadn’t changed, much to his disappointment, was a new line beneath the traits section. It read:

  Ring Bearer (unique trait): Be they in sunken wrecks or misplaced chests, ye have the uncanny knack to find lost bands of metal. But ye best batten down the hatches, lad. Everyone from scallywags to sea dogs will want ye precious!

  Ethan inspected the ring as creases formed in his brow. He had a new respect for the tiny piece of metal, and he wondered what mystical powers it might hold. “Wonder if it turns me invisible. That seems pretty standard.”

  “Given I can still see you, I’m going with no.”

  “Obviously,” Ethan said, sticking out his tongue. “I meant, maybe I have to activate it in some way.” He then held up his hand, ring pointed to the sky, and intoned a magical incantation. “Klaatu…Barada…Neck…tie? Nectar! Nickle…”

  “Going to try noodle next?” Zoey said with a smirk.

  “I’m working on it,” Ethan said, trying to stay focused on the task at hand. “I can feel the energy flowing, and what’s next is an ‘N’ word. It’s definitely an ‘N’ word.”

  “If you say so,” Zoey said with a raise of the shoulders. “Look, there’s no telling what the ring does or how it works. It could be anything at this point. I’ve heard of rings that ranged from granting extra strength, to bestowing the ability to fly, to quieting the wearer when he’s snoring.”

  “Bah. Who would ever want that last one?”

  “Someone who’s tired of sleeping next to a noisy partner.”

  “So where can we go to get it looked at?”

  “There are a few practitioners of Voodoo in Weynock if you know where to look,” she said. “And Hagitha still lives there, too. She’s a witch. Well, she’s a witch to those in the know. She keeps it pretty low-key.”

  “With a name like that? Never would’ve guessed,” Ethan said as he walked over to the cage. He knelt at its side and studied the jackal inside. The jackal, in turn, appeared to study Ethan, too, and not in a good way. He couldn’t help but feel how he imagined a rat might feel being dangled in front of a python who might not be hungry, but occasionally went for a mid-week snack.

  Ethan shook his head, ridding himself of such nonsense. If the kobolds had him caged, the jackal had to be harmless—relatively speaking.

  “Should we let him go?” he asked. “Or do you think I could turn him into a pet?”

  “A pet?” Zoey chuckled. “Do you want to drop by the store and get him a chew toy, too?”

  “No, I didn’t mean like that. I mean like a battle companion or something. It’s a standard trope in fantasy and RPGs. You know, like you might have a familiar or something, but since I’m not a magic wielder, I get a ‘pet.’”

  Zoey nodded. “I know. I’m just busting your balls. I’m not sure he’s that type, though.”

  “Well, whatever. We’ll see. At the very least, I’ll feel good about rescuing him,” Ethan said as he undid the latch to the cage and swung open the door.

  The jackal tilted his head and went into a downward dog to stretch for a moment while giving a big yawn. He then moseyed out of the cage, but he didn’t run off, nor did he do anything affectionate such as bathe Ethan’s hands with his tongue, rub up against him, or wag his tail so fast that it might break the sound barrier.

  Instead, the jackal huffed, sat on his haunches, and looked Ethan directly in the eyes. “The next time you want to play hero,” he said, “maybe you should make sure that your ‘damsel in distress’ actually needs saving, or fellow in this case.”

  Ethan’s jaw dropped. “You can talk?”

  “And you can hear,” the jackal replied without losing a beat. “I guess that means we both deserve a parade.”

  “Oh, I like him,” Zoey said. “He’s got spunk.”

  “I can’t believe you’re being like this,” Ethan said, shaking his head, and then shaking it again when he realized he was still talking to a jackal. “We just saved you from being skinned alive and eaten.”

  “Skinned alive? You think that’s what was going on?”

  Ethan shrugged. “You were in a cage. Are you trying to tell us you liked that thing? It wasn’t exactly a grand palace. At the very least, they were going to sell you to someone who would’ve skinned you.”

  “They weren’t doing anything but being my playthings,” the jackal said, giving one of his forelegs a tongue bath. “There were eight of them originally, and over the last week, I’d eaten five. I was so looking forward to another few days of relaxed dining, but you had to come along and bollix that up.”

  “I seriously doubt that,” Ethan said. “How did you eat kobolds from inside a cage?”

  “Did you miss the part where they thought I was a goat?” he said.

  “I heard them say something about a goat, but there’s no way they thought you were one. Even kobolds aren’t that stupid, are they?”

  “Who are you talking to?” asked a voice from behind.

  Ethan spun around to find the jackal perched on a log, grinning from ear to ear. He then turned back around and realized he’d been staring at a moss-covered rock moments ago. “How did you do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “Teleport.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “Or blink. Or whatever you call it.” Ethan turned back around, only to find the jackal had disappeared completely. “Now, knock it off.”

  “Knock what off?” the animal asked, this time his voice coming from the side.

  Ethan spun again, and the creature was now scratching his back against a small pine tree, looking ever so happy. “I suppose you knew he was like this,” Ethan said to Zoey.

  The woman shook her head and chuckled. “No, at least not before he talked. I’m just glad he’s picking on you and not me.”

  “Since you decided to ruin my fun, I suppose I’ll tag along for a bit,” the jackal said. “I could use the entertainment, not to mention a meal or two.”

  Maii has joined the party.

  “That was odd,” Ethan said, straightening at the sound of Narrator’s voice. The hairs across his body rose, and his ring finger warmed. “What’s going on?”

  “I am accompanying you on your journey,” Maii replied.

  “And what aren’t you telling me?”

  The jackal’s lips pressed together, and he sat his haunches on the ground as if he’d been whacked across the nose with a belaying pin. “You have my former master’s ring,” he murmured.

  Ethan's eyes lit up, and he held up his hand. “This?”

  “Yes.”

  “You have to follow who wears this?”

  The jackal nodded. “Yes.”

  “Obey, too?”

  “For now,” Maii said with a growl. “But that might change one day. So, if I were you, I’d be nice.”

  Zoey laughed, though it sounded more nervous than amused. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

  “It’ll be fine,” Ethan said, giving her a dismissive wave. “Don’t worry, my furry little guy. I promise I won’t do anything to humiliate you, but I am going to make you stop messing with my head. Got it?”

  The jackal turned his head to the side as he eyed him. After a few moments, he broke the silence that had settled. “I understand, but I’ll also make you a separate deal, newcomer,” he said. “Keep me fed and happy, and I’ll make it worth your while one day.”

  “What makes you think I’m a newcomer?” Ethan asked, feeling put off that it was obvious to even a pet, regardless of how magical it may or may not be.

  “You have a look of adventure in your eyes,” he replied. “And foolish naiveté.” The jackal paused before he darted on top of a boulder near Ethan so he could stick his face into Ethan’s. He sniffed around both of Ethan’s cheeks and then under his chin before backing off a half pace. “Ah, that explains it. You’re Death’s newest fresh-meat challenger.”

  “I am not fresh meat,” Ethan said, puffing his chest and folding his arms across it.

  “T
hat’s what the last two I came across said,” the jackal replied with a wry grin. “For your sake, I hope you’re right. But if you aren’t, at least it looks like I’ll have a sizeable meal after you die.”

  “After I die?” Ethan stammered as he worked out what the jackal was insinuating. “What exactly happened to your old master?”

  “Such a long, boring story, I doubt you’d want to hear the details,” Maii casually replied. “The short version is he crossed the wrong people. They found his antics infuriating, and I found his body delicious.”

  Ethan cringed. “You’re right. I don’t want to know.”

  “You could always free me from servitude if such thoughts bother you,” the jackal said, eyes sparkling with a touch of hope.

  “That might not be a bad idea,” Zoey chimed in. “Not sure I like the idea of having a party member around who’s eaten others.”

  Ethan shook his head. “I will later,” he said. “I have a feeling we’ll need him, and if there’s one thing I know, it’s to trust your gut.”

  Maii, surprisingly, nodded and flashed a sharp smile. “And if there’s one thing I know, it’s you’re going to want to keep me fed. Always.”

  Chapter Eleven

  A Rough Night

  The group had traveled almost to sunset before they stopped to make camp. Though there was still a little bit of golden light filtering through the trees’ hunter-green leaves, and Ethan wanted to press on, the shadows of the forest were long, and the likelihood of them finding a better spot before darkness engulfed everything was slim.

  Immediately after coming to a group consensus that this was where they’d rest for the night, Zoey started to build a fire. She did so in a slightly peculiar way, gathering hefty branches that looked a little wet, which she carefully arranged in a cleared-out section of the forest floor.

  At that point, she didn’t bother to look for or make any kindling. She simply took a leather pouch from inside her pack, poured a tablespoon’s worth of rusty-clay-colored powder from it on the wood, and then topped the stuff off with a little gunpowder.