Kissing Charlie

by Elsa Winckler

“Of course you do,” she said primly and left his office. But he’d seen the twinkle in her eye.

  Damn interfering woman. Leaning back in his chair, he cursed. He was going to enjoy tonight, even if it killed him, damn it.

  Anna had barely closed the door behind her when his phone rang. It was his sister. Okay, her, he could handle, but not his mother. Not today, not when he was feeling so...so...raw.

  “Hi, Brooke,” he greeted her. “I’m sure by now you’ve spoken to Mother. I’m fine. As a matter of fact, I have a date tonight. We’re going to that nice Italian restaurant I’ve taken you guys to the last time you were here.”

  “A date? Really? That was quick, even for you.” She sounded amused. “But that’s not why I’m calling. I’m actually phoning to talk to you about my portfolio, if now is convenient?”

  But he knew his sister. She didn’t have to call about her investments. She received monthly reports and she’d know exactly what was going on. But okay, he’d play along. Sooner or later, he’d discover the real reason for her call. “Of course.”

  Quickly he opened her file on his computer and for a few minutes they discussed her funds. Then he closed the file and sat back in his chair. “Okay, so why did you really call?”

  She laughed. “You know me too well. Okay. I was curious to know if you’ve already forgotten about Charlie. You never take your eyes off of her when she’s around, did you know that? Anyway, now I know you’ve obviously moved on and are already dating other women. Such a pity, but we’ll find Charlie a nice husband. There is this one rancher...”

  And before he could react, she’d ended the call.

  He quickly got up and started pacing. What damn rancher? The mere thought of Charlie with another man was driving him insane.

  There was a knock on his door. He had a meeting. Work was supposed to take his mind off Charlie, damn it! Why the hell wasn’t it working?

  Late Saturday afternoon after a whole day spent talking everything Bowen, Charlie was tired, but exhilarated as an Uber dropped her off at the little cottage Lindsay had rented for them in Seattle. It had been a long day, but she’d enjoyed every minute of it. She’d met a group of enthusiastic and wonderful fellow Bowen therapists who were all very willing to help the newcomer in their midst.

  The past two weeks had been exhausting. A thousand times a day, she’d think of something she wanted to tell Logan, or something happened she wanted to share with him, only to remember she couldn’t talk to him. The nights were the worst, though.

  She’d been making love with him every single night for the last fortnight—only to wake up and realize it had only been a dream. How long did heartache last? Shouldn’t there be a freaking expiring date?

  The front door opened and Lindsay stormed out, smiling broadly. “I thought you’d never get here! We had such a wonderful day!”

  Charlie smiled and hugged her sister. She was so glad Gavin had agreed to join them. It was obvious Lindsay was happy and had, for a little while, at least, forgotten about nasty messages and phone calls and strange cars parked in their street. “What did you do?” she asked as they entered the house.

  Gavin was lounging on the couch in the living room. “I would’ve been happy just drinking coffee all day, but Linds here had other plans.”

  “We went to the Chihuly Garden—Eleanor told us about it, remember? It’s a showcase for the glass artist—”

  “—Dale Chihuly.” Charlie nodded. “Yes, I remember—it sounds fascinating.”

  “We have to come again when you won’t have anything else to do—you’ll love it,” Lindsay said. “Then we went on a subterranean, walking history tour of the Pioneer Square—it was amazing!” Eyes sparkling, she described in detail the historic place they’d seen and how fascinating everything was.

  Charlie caught Gavin’s eye. They were both so pleased their sister was acting her old self.

  “And where are we having dinner?” She smiled.

  “Well, Brooke phoned. She wanted paintbrushes, which Gavin found, by the way, and she told me about this Italian restaurant they’ve been to when they last visited Seattle. Apparently, the food is out of this world.”

  “Sounds great. I just need a quick shower.”

  “How was your day?” Lindsay asked.

  “Very nice, thanks. It was lovely to talk to other people who also speak Bowen.” She grinned.

  “You can tell us all about it. Go put on your glitters so that we can go.”

  Charlie’s grin faded as she walked toward her room. She hadn’t brought any of her usual tops on this trip. The reasons why, she didn’t want to examine too closely at the moment. All she’d brought with her for dining out was a very sedate, very boring gray top to go with a pair of nice, if also boring, black pants.

  CHAPTER 14

  Halfway through dinner, Logan was ready to get up and leave. Why the hell had he thought taking another woman on a date would help him to not think about Charlie? Mandy was beautiful. The gray-and-white dress she was wearing was understated but obviously expensive. A pair of tiny pearl earrings was her only accessory. Stylish, neat, classic, she was the epitome of good taste. They’d been discussing several topics, all usually quite interesting to him. But he was so bored, he could weep in his wine.

  Mandy hardly ate. The only thing she’d ordered was salad and even this seemed to be too much for her. She was explaining the new strategy she used for her more affluent clients, but he was struggling to concentrate. Thoughts of Charlie kept interfering.

  Dating other women was not going to help him forget about Charlie—a fact that he’d have to acknowledge now, at least to himself.

  A movement behind Mandy’s head caught his attention. A waiter was showing three people to their table. He stared at them for a few minutes before it dawned on him they looked familiar. And it took his befuddled brain another few seconds to connect the dots: it was Charlie, Lindsay, and her brother, if he wasn’t mistaken. But it was a Charlie as he’d never seen her before.

  Gone were the glittering top, the bangles, and the chandelier earrings. Her top was gray. Gray! And her earrings were almost invisible: a pair of pearl studs. Pearls, what the hell? Since when did she wear pearl studs? And her beautiful, long hair was gathered in a tight bun.

  “Everything okay, Logan?” asked Mandy, and still stunned, he turned his head to look at his date.

  “Logan, is there a problem?” she asked again with a tiny frown.

  Finally, some emotion. He swallowed a sigh. Why was he here with this strange woman when he couldn’t stop thinking about Charlie? “I’m sorry, I have to go,” he said, and signaled to the waiter.

  Fortunately, he’d met Mandy here at the restaurant, so he didn’t have to take her home. He quickly paid the bill.

  “Let me walk you to your car,” he offered and took her arm.

  No emotion, just a nod. Two weeks ago, before he’d met Charlie, he would’ve thought that this was exactly how he liked his dates to behave.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...this...I...” But there really wasn’t any explanation or excuse for his behavior. “My apologies. Where did you park?”

  Charlie was laughing at something Gavin said when a movement made her turn her head and she saw the man she’d been dreaming about for fourteen miserable nights. She could only see his back, but that perfectly groomed, light brown hair, she’d recognize anywhere. Her heart skidded to a halt. A sleek brunette was walking next to him. They were leaving the restaurant, his hand protectively around the woman’s elbow.

  A sharp knife pierced her heart—the pain that followed, so intense, she nearly gasped out loud.

  She tried to inhale fresh air, but a strap had tightened around her chest, making breathing difficult. Fortunately, Gavin and Lindsay were still laughing at the moment and weren’t looking at her.

  Of course, Logan would be dating other women; it shouldn’t be such a shock to see him with someone else. But why, out of all the restaurants in a city the size of
Seattle, would he’d be here, in this particular restaurant, tonight of all nights? It was so bizarre.

  His date was gorgeous—thin, dressed in gray, not a hair out of place. Obviously, exactly the kind of woman he preferred. No wonder he’d told her she wasn’t his type.

  She looked down at herself and swallowed a sigh. Now she knew why she was dressed like this—without her beloved bangles, wearing gray. Gray. Seriously? She’d subconsciously tried to dress to please Logan. Even though she hadn’t known she’d see him.

  The waiter arrived with their wine, giving her a much-need moment to compose herself. She couldn’t believe she’d forgotten all about her earlier resolve not to change for a man.

  Smiling, Gavin raised his glass. “To us!”

  “Good evening.”

  Charlie froze. She had to be daydreaming, or hallucinating. Logan had left the restaurant; it couldn’t be him. Her head turned. But here he was, standing next to their table, with his eyes on her. In a black shirt and pants, he took her breath away.

  Gavin’s eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here, Johnson?”

  “I can ask you the same question,” Logan said, but he was looking at Charlie.

  “I...” Oh, my goodness, what was up with her voice around this man? She cleared her throat. “I had a meeting. Here. In Seattle.”

  He held out his hand. “Can I talk to you?” he asked her. “Please?”

  “Get the hell away from my sister,” Gavin demanded.

  But Logan didn’t even look in his direction. “Charlie?”

  “I don’t think we have anything to talk about, do you?” she asked, taking a big gulp of her wine.

  “It’s been two damn weeks and I... Just five minutes, please?”

  Gavin was getting up, his lips pressed tightly together. She knew that look. Before this spun out of control, she’d have to do something. Quickly, she put a hand on Gavin’s arm. “It’s okay. Just give me a minute.”

  Logan took her hand when she got up and pulled it through his arm. “Can we get a drink at the bar?”

  Her heart was breaking into small pieces. “Logan, I don’t know what you want...”

  “I have to talk to you, damn it!”

  The bar was adjacent to the restaurant, and from here, she could see Lindsay and Gavin. Her brother was standing, glaring in their direction.

  “This will have to be quick—we’ve already ordered,” she said when he pulled out one of the bar stools for her. Trying not to cry, not to shout out how she felt about him, left her swallowing furiously. Tiny strips of sticky tape were the only thing holding her tattered self together.

  “What can I get you?”

  She really didn’t want another drink, but to get this over with as quickly as possible, she nodded.

  “Dry white wine?” he asked.

  “How do you know?” she asked, surprised.

  His eyes darkened. “I know everything about you.”

  He ordered two glasses and took his seat. Their knees bumped and she moved sideways.

  “Don’t...” he said and took her hand.

  “What do you want, Logan?”

  His eyes were raking over her. “Why are you dressed like this?”

  She crossed her arms. “Isn’t this how you want the women in your life to dress?”

  The barman put their drinks down, and Logan paid him without taking his eyes off of her.

  “Gray is not you. Wearing damn pearl earrings isn’t you. I...” He touched her face with his fingers. “I like the way you dress. I like your glittering tops, your soft, flimsy skirts, your bangles and I...” He touched her earlobes. “I dream about those mini-chandeliers you wear on your ears. Why the hell are you dressed like this?”

  Damn it, those stupid tears were threatening to spill over; she had to put an end to this right away. She took a sip of the wine and tried to swallow down the lump in her throat.

  “I’m trying my level best to get over you,” she finally said, looking him straight in the eye.

  His eyes darkened. “What if I don’t want you to? I’ve missed you, damn it. I can’t stop thinking about you and I can’t work!”

  She’d had enough. If she stayed here much longer, she was going to end doing something stupid like kissing him. Her whole being was urging her to walk into his arms. Quickly, she stood up. “Maybe if you replace ‘I’ every now and then with another pronoun, you’d understand you’re breaking my heart. Please excuse me, my family is waiting for me.” Quickly, she turned away and walked back to where Gavin and Lindsay were sitting.

  “Do you want to leave?” asked Gavin when she reached their table again.

  Exhaling slowly, she shook her head. “No, I’m fine.” She looked up. Logan was still sitting where she’d left him, his gaze fixed on her.

  What if I don’t want you to? What did that even mean? She looked down at herself again. Logan was right about one thing, though—this wasn’t her. She was done trying to please anybody else but herself.

  Nothing she did, or didn’t, do was going to help her forget about Logan. Nothing could. She loved him and that wasn’t going to change. Ever. What she’d have to do was to learn to live without him.

  “What did he want?” asked Lindsay.

  “Nothing, really.” She put a smile on her face and raised her glass. “Let’s talk about something else, please. Here’s to you, Gavin—may you join us sooner than later.”

  Her brother had finally stopped frowning, thank goodness. She forced herself not to look in Logan’s direction again, but when they left at the end of their meal, she couldn’t help herself. She searched for him.

  But the chair at the bar where he’d sat was empty. Blinking furiously, she followed Lindsay and Gavin to their car.

  He should’ve left after he’d put Mandy in her car. But no, he had to go back, had to try and get Charlie alone so that he could...what? Nothing about his actions after he’d seen Charlie tonight had been logical. But when he’d laid eyes on her, something else had taken over the reasonable workings of his mind.

  Their short conversation kept playing over and over in his mind. She was trying to get over him. That’s what she’d said. And that freaked him out, if he was honest. That was why he’d reacted with a stupid ‘what if I don’t want you to?’

  She wasn’t the kind of woman he could build a life with, damn it. He knew that. He’d told her she wasn’t his type—something he struggled to remember when he was around her.

  He wasn’t even going to try to go to bed tonight. Sleeping wasn’t possible. Not with his emotions all over the place, as they were at the moment. As they had been since he’d walked into Charlie’s office. He made his living analyzing data, interpreting numbers, coming to conclusions about the figures so that he could find logical solutions to problems.

  But how the hell did one analyze feelings? How were you supposed to interpret wanting someone so much your whole body ached? And to what conclusion should he come when not a minute passed he wasn’t thinking about Charlie?

  If he couldn’t use the basic tools of his trade, how did he find a damn solution to this craziness inside him?

  Muttering and cursing, he poured himself a drink and pulled his laptop closer. There was so much work that needed to be done, he could do with an all-nighter.

  But minutes later, he was staring out the window, his drink and computer forgotten. Charlie. She’d looked beautiful, but gray and pearls were way too mundane for her. No, Charlie was cascading hair, glittering tops, layered skirts, and bangles. Laughter and soft sighs, busy hands, and soft lips...

  He rubbed his face, cussing a blue streak.

  His phone rang. It was his sister. He quickly answered. At least if he talked to someone, he’d be forced to think about something else.

  “Hi, Logan, I was thinking about you and wanted to check in—you okay?” Brooke asked.

  He frowned. His mom and sister never just “checked in”—there was always a hidden reason for their call.

  �
��Yes, I’m okay. Why?”

  “No reason. So...uhm...how was your date?” Brooke asked.

  And there it was. Of course, they would know. They made it their business to know about his comings and goings. “And how do you know about my date?”

  “I...well...uhm, Mom told me.”

  “I didn’t tell Mom.”

  “Well, it doesn’t matter how I know about it, does it? The question is, did you enjoy it?”

  And then the penny dropped. Usually he was quicker to connect the various dots when it came to his mom and sister, but he hadn’t been himself for the past few weeks. But now he finally understood that finding Charlie and her family, in the exact restaurant where he’d taken his date to, hadn’t been the bizarre coincidence he’d thought it was. His mom and sister had somehow orchestrated the whole thing.

  “So, who spoke to Anna—you or Mom?”

  Brooke laughed. “Oh, come on. You’re not really mad, are you? We just thought maybe you could show Charlie and her family around Seattle, that’s all.”

  Cussing, he got up and walked toward the big windows overlooking the city. “You do know the whole thing has nothing to do with you or with Mom?”

  “I just can’t believe she told you she loves you and you walked away.”

  “How the hell do you know that?”

  “She told Mom.”

  “She told...?” Well, hell.

  “Of course, Mom was upset when she heard you were on your way to Seattle instead of going to a cabin with Charlie as you’d planned. She went to see Charlie.” Brooke sighed. “Charlie is one of a kind, and for a while, we really thought and hoped things could work out between the two of you, but if you’re not into her, that’s that. Anyway, tell me about your date. I really do want to know. My life is very boring.”

  “Yeah, right.” He swallowed a sigh. “My date...well, she’s beautiful. And nice.”

  “And?”

  He rubbed his face. “And nothing. Good night, Brooke. Give Connor a hug from me.”

  “Logan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t be mad at Mom—she wants to see you happy.”

  “I am happy, damn it!”