Private Eye Protector

by Shirlee McCoy

  “She ate rice cereal and banana and drank her bottle. Now we’re ready to play. Right, darling?” Lila tickled the baby’s belly, and Rayne smiled as her daughter’s giggles filled the room.

  She’d be in good hands.

  Of course she would.

  But the thought of leaving her made Rayne feel physically ill.

  Or maybe the head injury was doing that.

  “Here. Let me hold her while you go freshen up, okay? You need to walk out the door in ten minutes if you’re going to be there on time.” Lila scooped Emma from Rayne’s arms and set her on a blanket in the middle of the floor.

  It looked like Lila had done the same thing many times. Looked like Emma was used to the books and toys and baby dolls scattered around on the blanket.

  Looked like the two had a great routine going.

  And why wouldn’t they?

  When Lila had explained how the house worked, she’d also told Rayne that she’d been Emma’s babysitter for seven weeks.

  Seven weeks Rayne couldn’t remember.

  She wiped damp palms on her jeans.

  Standing around wasn’t bringing the memories back.

  It certainly wasn’t helping her “freshen up.”

  “Need help up the stairs?” Chance asked, his low baritone shivering through her, his gaze drifting from the top of her head to her bare feet.

  No.

  Definitely not.

  She did not need his help.

  No men. Ever.

  Rule two.

  She wasn’t going to break that one.

  “I’ll be fine.” She walked past him, told herself that the man didn’t smell as good as he looked. Spicy aftershave and outdoors and some indefinable thing that smelled like…

  Chance.

  Though how she’d know that when she couldn’t remember where she’d been or what she’d done twenty-four hours ago, Rayne couldn’t fathom.

  Or didn’t want to admit.

  If she could have hurried, she would have, but going up the stairs with a throbbing head and an aching body wasn’t easy. A door separated the apartment from the landing and she opened it, stepping into the cozy room Lila had showed her earlier. Familiar furniture. Familiar throw rug. A fireplace on one wall, her laptop sitting on a desk against another, toys strewn across the floor—the place had a lived-in feel that fit the life of a busy mother.

  But aside from the furniture and throw that she’d brought with her from Arizona, it could have belonged to any busy mother. Nothing about it seemed familiar. Not the kitchen. Not the nursery. Not the charming master bedroom with its view of snow-covered mountains and fields.

  Nothing.

  No spark of memory.

  She walked into the bathroom, ran a comb through wild curls, dabbed makeup over the dark bruise on her cheek. The other one was past hope. Green, blue and red with tinges of black, it rose off her forehead like a hump on the back of a camel.

  Huge.

  No camouflage in the world could hide it so she didn’t bother trying, just swept gloss over her lips, mascara on her lashes.

  Mascara?

  Lip gloss?

  To go the doctor?

  What would be next?

  Blush and perfume?

  “Don’t you dare, Rayne,” she muttered at her reflection.

  No blush. No perfume. No cute outfit to try to distract from the bruise on her head.

  She was going to the doctor just the way she was, because she had no one to impress but herself.

  No Michael to tell her that she looked a little pale, that her hair needed to be tamed, that she could stand to lose a few pounds.

  No man.

  Period.

  “Rayne?” Chance called out, and she absolutely refused to admit that she glanced in the mirror one last time before she walked out of the bathroom to greet him.

  He stood in the threshold of the open door, his dress shirt open at the collar, a tie hanging loose around his neck, and her heart did the unthinkable.

  It jumped.

  Stupid heart. Don’t you know the rules?

  “I’m ready.”

  “I think your feet are going to get a little cold if you go the way you are.”

  She glanced down.

  Bare toes.

  Great.

  Glanced up.

  Chance and his silver-blue eyes sparking with amusement.

  Even better.

  “I’ll get socks.” She ran as fast as her aching body could carry her. Down the hall. Into her room. Fumbled through drawers until she found socks.

  “Get yourself together, Rayne. He’s a guy. You have plenty of guy friends. Just pretend he’s one of them,” she mumbled as she pulled socks on.

  “Did you say something?” Chance called out from the living room.

  “No.” Not to him, anyway.

  She did not look in the mirror over the dresser before she walked out of the room, didn’t glance Chance’s way as she grabbed boots from a shoe rack near the door and shoved her feet into them, did not allow her silly heart to jump and cheer when he put a hand on her shoulder to steady her.

  “There. Now I’m really ready.”

  “Coat?” he asked, and she pulled one from the closet, tried to get her arms into the sleeves, but her body felt stiff and ill-used, as if she’d run a marathon, biked through the desert and swum the Atlantic Ocean all in the same day.

  “Let me help.” He took the coat from her hands, held it while she maneuvered her arms through the sleeves, his fingers sliding along her neck as he adjusted the collar, heat sparking everywhere he touched.

  “Thanks. I guess the accident gave me more than a concussion. There isn’t a muscle in my body that doesn’t ache.” She stepped back and took a deep steadying breath. Inhaled… Him.

  “I’ll grab some pain relievers for you before we leave. Hopefully, they’ll take the edge off.” He seemed completely unaware of the heat that had passed between them. Good.

  She had way too much to worry about without that added to it. The both of them feeling things they shouldn’t.

  Or, at least, things she shouldn’t.

  “I have ibuprofen in my purse. I’ll take it on the way to the doctor.” She grabbed her purse, walked out onto the landing, ready to put distance between them.

  She’d have to keep her guard up to protect herself and her daughter.

  “Were you able to contact the Arizona police?” she asked as she made her way down the stairs.

  “Yes.”

  “What did they say about Leon?”

  “How about we talk about it in the car?”

  She turned at the bottom of the stairs, tried to read his expression. “How about we talk about it now?”

  “And miss your appointment? You’re already running late.” Lila carried Emma into the foyer. “Give your mommy a kiss. She has to go.”

  Emma reached for Rayne, her lip quivering.

  “Don’t cry, sweetie. I’ll be back soon.” Rayne took the baby from Lila’s arms, the sick feeling she’d had earlier back.

  She couldn’t put her finger on what caused it, didn’t know why she felt anxious. Obviously, Lila cared about the baby and would care for her, but Rayne couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that filled her every time she thought about leaving.

  The dream.

  It had to be that.

  And the man standing in the doorway of her hospital room.

  Those things had her on edge, made her imagine danger where there wasn’t any.

  Emma cried in earnest as Rayne kissed her cheek, smoothed her red hair, tried to convince herself to hand the baby back to Lila.

  “Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”

  “Going to the doctor?” Chance asked, and Rayne shook her head.

  “Leaving Emma. She isn’t herself.”

  “You’re not yourself, either, dear. Staying here with Emma isn’t going to make you any better, and taking her with you is no solution, either. Can you imagine all the g
erms in the doctor’s office this time of year? Just think of what Emma would be exposed to. I promise you, I’ll care for her the same way I have for the past weeks—like she’s my own child. Or grandchild.” She smiled and Rayne knew she’d do exactly what she’d said.

  “I know you will, Lila.”

  She did.

  But she still didn’t want to leave Emma.

  She kissed the baby’s cheek and handed her back to Lila, anyway. It was the best decision—she knew it—but that didn’t make it easy.

  “She’ll be fine, Rayne. Come on. The sooner we go, the sooner you can get back to her. Make sure you lock the door, okay, Mom?” Chance said, tugging Rayne into the frigid afternoon.

  White snow. Gold sun. Deep green pine trees. Blue sky.

  Beautiful.

  On any other day, Rayne would have enjoyed the breathtaking landscape.

  Today she just wanted to get to the doctor’s office and get back to Emma.

  Chance started the engine, but instead of driving away from the two-story farmhouse, he turned to face her. “She really will be okay. You know that, right?”

  “Yes.” Otherwise she’d never have left Emma.

  “Then what are you so worried about?”

  What was she worried about?

  She couldn’t put her finger on it, couldn’t quite put a name to what she was feeling. Anxious, worried, scared.

  “I just…”

  “What?”

  “Feel like there’s something I should know. Something important.”

  “Something about Emma?”

  “Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” She sighed, frustrated with the void the car accident had left.

  “So how about we work together and see what we can find out?”

  Say no.

  Tell him you can handle things yourself.

  No men. Period. Remember?

  “How do you suggest we do that?”

  Say no.

  “We’ll start with your computer. One of the guys from Information Unlimited specializes in computer forensics. I’ll take yours to him, and we’ll see what he comes up with.”

  No.

  No, no, no.

  She knew exactly what she needed to say to avoid breaking rule number two.

  Knew it.

  “All right. Thanks.”

  And didn’t say it.

  Obviously, the accident had created more than a void in her memories—it had scrambled her brains.

  SIX

  Since when had avoiding someone included driving her to the doctor’s office?

  Since never. That’s when.

  But that’s exactly what Chance was about to do.

  Drive Rayne to the doctor. And more.

  Talk to the police about a man who might be after her. Keep an eye out for dark, foreign-made trucks.

  Help her access deleted computer files.

  Get more involved in her life than he should.

  He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but he knew he didn’t have a choice. The police in Phoenix had confirmed what Chance had feared. Darren Leon hadn’t reported to his probation officer the previous week and wasn’t at his apartment. They were sending patrol officers to look for him, but he could be anywhere.

  Including Spokane.

  Rayne was injured and alone, with a baby dependent on her. She needed his help, and she’d get it, whether she tested his self-control or not.

  “You’re frowning,” Rayne said as he pulled onto the highway.

  “The police in Phoenix weren’t helpful when it came to locating Leon. He didn’t check in with his probation officer last week. They’re not sure where he is.”

  “I was afraid of that.”

  “I’ve already contacted the Spokane County Sheriff’s Department. They’re getting Leon’s rap sheet and mug shot. Hopefully, if he’s in town, they’ll spot him.”

  “That’s like hoping for rain in the desert.”

  “Even in the desert it rains sometimes, so don’t discount what can happen with a lot of work and prayer.”

  “I’m not discounting anything, but I’d feel a lot more comfortable if Leon was where I wanted him to be.”

  “The police in Phoenix said they didn’t think he was a threat to anyone. No record up until the day he accosted you.”

  “That’s what the defense attorney said. All I know is that Leon blamed me for the wreck he’d made of his life. I’d helped his wife find a new job and move to another state. A little too much alcohol and he snapped.”

  “Do you think he meant to harm you?”

  “Then? Yes. Now that I know the gun wasn’t loaded, I’m not sure. I didn’t stick around to find out, though. As soon as Kane offered me the job here, I packed my bags and left town. I guess running from my trouble didn’t keep it from finding me.”

  “We don’t know for sure that the man in your hospital room was Leon.”

  “Trouble is trouble, Chance. No matter what name it wears, and all I’ve had for the past eight months is a boatload of it.”

  “What kind of trouble are we talking about?”

  “Eight months ago, my best friend—Emma’s mother—died. I took custody of Emma and cleaned out the apartment where she and Chandra lived. About a week later, the storage unit I put Chandra’s stuff in was broken into. A month after that, I broke up with Michael and canceled our wedding. Then Leon threatened to kill me for convincing his wife to leave him.”

  “So all the trouble began after Chandra died?

  “It seems that way. Up until then, my life was predictable. Dinner out on Friday. Lunch out on Tuesday. Church on Sunday and Wednesday.”

  “Nothing wrong with that.” Though he didn’t see Rayne as a regimented type. Couldn’t really imagine her carrying a daily planner and ticking off her to-do list.

  “Nothing right about it, either.”

  “So you moved here to shake things up?”

  “I shook things up by getting rid of Michael and his daily planner and minute-by-minute schedule. No more sitting for two hours after church on Sunday going over our week. It was really quite freeing.” The lightness in her voice couldn’t hide the edge in her tone.

  “You sound angry.”

  “Only with myself. I still don’t know how I let myself fall in…” She stopped, and he knew he should let it go, let their conversation move on to other things.

  Knew it, but didn’t.

  “Love?”

  “Is that what it was? If so, love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

  “Love is what we make it. It’s the effort we put into the relationships we’re building.”

  “Have you ever been in love, Chance? Heart-pounding, soul-searing love, I mean. Not high-school-crush love.”

  “I thought I was. Thought it enough to plan a future and get married.”

  “You’re married?”

  “Was married. Jessica died three years ago. We were separated for nearly a year before that. As I said, love is the effort you put into the relationships you’re building. I guess neither of us put enough into what we had.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too. Jessica had a drug problem. I was away a lot working as an army chaplain. Those two things didn’t go well together.” If he could go back, he’d do things differently, spend more time with his wife, listen more carefully. All the things he’d done as a chaplain, he’d have used to make his marriage work.

  It wouldn’t have been enough. He knew that. Jessica had been steeped in addiction when they met. He’d just been too blinded by her beauty and sophistication, her brittle charm to see it. All his efforts couldn’t have changed her, but they would have changed his feelings about himself, would have prevented the guilt that never seemed far away when he thought about Jessica.

  He pulled into a space in front of the doctor’s office, his failure as real and ugly and hard as it had been the day he’d learned that Jessica had died of a drug overdose.

  “We can’t change the people w
e love. We want to, we think we can, we try so hard to make them into who we think they can be, but only God can change a heart. Unless your wife wanted things to be different, there was nothing you could do.” Rayne touched his hand, her fingers skimming over his knuckles before she pulled back.

  A simple touch, but it hit him hard, stole his breath, made him forget all the reasons why relationships weren’t for him.

  “I could have been there for her. I could have found a way to make her a priority over my job.” He could have done the same with his father and brother, but he hadn’t been there for them, either. Missed birthdays. Missed holidays. Missed moments that he couldn’t get back.

  As he looked into Rayne’s eyes, he couldn’t help wondering if this was his chance at redemption. His chance to prove that he could be there for someone.

  His chance to give the dream a second shot.

  Family and laughter and love.

  “Come on. We’d better get inside. If you miss your appointment, my mother will have my hide.” He got out of the car, took a deep breath of cold, crisp air, desperate to clear his head. Maybe he could help Rayne. Maybe he could even find the redemption he was so desperate for.

  What he wouldn’t find, what he refused to even look for, was love.

  He’d tried for the dream. Failed. He didn’t plan to try again. All his mother’s hints about marriage and kids had fallen on deaf ears. No wife. No kids. Those things simply weren’t for him.

  At least that’s what he’d been telling himself for three years. Sometimes, though, he wanted more than his empty cottage. Sometimes he wanted someone to come home to.

  He frowned, taking Rayne’s arm as they crossed the icy pavement. He’d help her because it was the right thing to do, but he wouldn’t fall for her.

  She moved past him as he held the door, glanced his way, her misty eyes filled with a hundred things he couldn’t read. Shouldn’t want to read, but did.

  There was something about her.

  Something he couldn’t ignore, no matter how hard he tried. Something he couldn’t deny, no matter how much he wanted to.

  “I’ll check in.” She moved across the small lobby, her gait stiff, her muscles tight, pain etched in the hollows of her cheeks and in the deep circles beneath her eyes. Tough. Strong. A fighter. She was all those things, but there was a gentleness to her, too. A softness that put everyone she met at ease.