The Dressmaker’s Secret

by Charlotte Betts

  ‘Of course not, Your Majesty,’ I said. ‘Since you kindly suggested I might visit you again, I wished to congratulate you on your recent victory.’ I noticed that she had lost more weight and the skin on her face and neck sagged.

  ‘I feel no joy,’ she said, ‘only a great weariness.’ Her blue eyes were lacklustre and her hands trembled. She pulled a shawl more tightly around her shoulders and huddled into her chair. ‘I am never warm in this miserable country.’

  The tumult of noise outside rose to a crescendo and I glanced out of the window at the river. Boats crowded with sightseers waved bottles and handkerchiefs in the air as they called out greetings to Her Majesty. A man stood unsteadily in one of the small boats, singing.

  ‘We have been inundated by the numerous parties that come to ogle Her Majesty every day,’ said Lady Hamilton, her face pinched with disapproval. ‘The rabble use Brandenburgh House as an opportunity for an excursion.’

  ‘But no one really cares about me,’ said the Queen, her chin quivering. ‘The whole unpleasant business has been more of a political battle than the championing of a poor, forlorn woman. I have been unwell and am tired of it all… so very tired.’ She picked at a stain on her crumpled skirt.

  ‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ I said. I glanced enquiringly at Lady Hamilton, wondering if I should leave, but she gave a slight shake of her head.

  ‘You remind me of happier times in my beloved Villa Vittoria,’ the Queen said. ‘How I long to return! Do you remember the sea breezes and the sunshine warm on your cheeks, Miss Barton?’

  I didn’t correct her but simply nodded. ‘I miss them, too.’

  The Queen sighed heavily. ‘But it is not to be until the King has answered my demands. When will my name be restored to the Liturgy?’ Her voice rose in agitation. ‘Where is my town residence? I should have a palace of my own and a proper household. He cannot expect me to live in borrowed houses while I’m in London.’

  ‘You will return to Pesaro later?’ I asked.

  ‘As soon as possible,’ she said, closing her eyes. ‘After my Coronation. Now that I am confirmed as Queen Caroline, even George cannot deny me that right. I miss my darling Victorine so. She will be bereft without me or Signor Fiorelli.’

  ‘Have you any news of him?’ I asked, hope flaring. ‘I saw him in London from a distance but wasn’t able to speak to him.’

  ‘He wished to improve his English and took a position in London as tutor to two boys,’ she said. ‘He visited me during the trial recess last September. I always liked that young man.’

  ‘Do you know the name of the family he works for?’ I asked, my heart thudding.

  The Queen pursed her lips and shook her head.

  ‘It may have been Beacham,’ said Lady Hamilton. ‘And I believe he said he was staying in Great Marlborough Street.’

  I gave a little gasp to realise that Alessandro had been living only a stone’s throw from Father’s house all that time. ‘Thank you very much, Lady Hamilton.’

  She surprised me by giving me a conspiratorial smile as she rang the little bell, signifying the audience was over.

  The noise on the river increased as the voices swelled in raucous singing.

  The Queen covered her eyes.

  ‘I shall take my leave, Ma’am,’ I said, ‘with my best wishes for your imminent return to good health.’

  ‘Always such a kind girl,’ she murmured, ‘just like my darling Charlotte.’

  Chapter 24

  November 1820

  London

  I crept back into Father’s house without being caught. I raced up the staircase and was unlocking my bedroom door when Daisy appeared.

  ‘Oh, miss,’ she said, ‘I was that worried about you!’

  I opened the door and pulled her inside. ‘Does anyone else know I went out?’

  She shook her head. ‘I was in the kitchen making you honey and lemon for your throat when I saw you walking past the area steps.’

  ‘I had some business to do,’ I said, taking off my bonnet, ‘and since Aunt Maude has been ill these past few days…’

  ‘I would have come with you,’ said Daisy. ‘You shouldn’t go out unaccompanied, not a young lady like you.’

  ‘Well, no harm done,’ I said. ‘Daisy, will you do something for me?’

  ‘Of course, miss.’

  ‘I want you to deliver a note.’

  ‘But that’s James’s job. I’m not sure Mrs Hope will let me…’

  ‘If she’s not happy you can ask her to speak to me.’ I took a pen out of my writing desk and lifted the lid of the inkwell. After a moment’s thought I began to write.

  Dear Alessandro

  I was distressed when my father sent you away in such an unkind manner, especially since you had been so kind as to bring Peggy to me. Afterwards I assumed you had returned to Pesaro but I called upon Her Majesty this morning and Lady Hamilton mentioned you are currently employed in Great Marlborough Street, only a step away.

  Will you meet me tomorrow at noon by the Cumberland Gate to Hyde Park?

  In anticipation of seeing you very soon,

  Emilia

  I sealed the folded paper with a blob of red wax. ‘Please take this to Great Marlborough Street, Daisy,’ I said.

  She took it from me and frowned at the name written on the front.

  ‘It’s an Italian name,’ I said. ‘Signor Fiorelli.’

  She echoed the name and I repeated it for her until she said it correctly.

  ‘I don’t know which house it is in Great Marlborough Street,’ I said, ‘so you’ll need to make enquiries at the kitchen doors. Signor Fiorelli is employed as a tutor to two small boys.’ I fumbled in my reticule and pressed some coins in her hand. ‘He’s an old friend from when I lived in Italy,’ I said, ‘but please don’t mention this to anyone.’

  ‘No, miss,’ said Daisy, giving me a knowing look as she tucked the coins into her bodice.

  I sat with Aunt Maude for the rest of the afternoon, simmering with excitement at the thought of seeing Alessandro. Although we’d parted with hard words, in my heart I knew we loved each other. The Queen said he’d suffered a great deal after my departure. The balls, the presents, the new clothes… none of that mattered to me as much as Alessandro did. I’d grown to love dear Aunt Maude and was pleased to know, if not love, my father but the endless round of social occasions held no further fascination for me. I’d saved most of my allowance to pay for my passage and was more than ready now to go home to Italy. I hugged myself in pleasurable anticipation of Alessandro’s joy when I told him so.

  I didn’t see Daisy until she came to undress me for bed.

  ‘I had to ask at a great many houses before someone could tell me where Signor Fiorelli was staying,’ she said. ‘There was a governess at number 12 who knew of him but he wasn’t home. I left the note with a maid.’

  I sat before the mirror while Daisy combed out my hair, wondering what Alessandro had thought when he received my message. ‘I expect to meet Signor Fiorelli tomorrow at noon,’ I said. ‘I’d like you to accompany me.’

  In the morning my reflection was pale and I was full of nervous agitation. At breakfast I was relieved to discover that Father was out so I’d have no need to explain my absence.

  When I went to see Aunt Maude, she sat in her shawl by the fireside. ‘I’m pleased to see you out of bed,’ I said.

  ‘I shall be right as rain in a few days, dear.’

  ‘I’m feeling cooped up and intend to take a walk in the park this morning. Don’t worry,’ I said, as I saw her expression of consternation, ‘I’ll take Daisy with me.’

  ‘That’s not ideal,’ said Aunt Maude, ‘but I’m not sufficiently recovered to accompany you. Don’t let Daisy stray from your side and come to see me when you return.’

  ‘In Italy I frequently walked alone. No harm ever came to me.’

  ‘No one in London need know what happened in Italy,’ said Aunt Maude. ‘It’s not so much that I fear physi
cal harm, my dear, as long as you hold your reticule tightly… it’s more that I fear malicious gossip might harm your reputation. A young woman can’t be too careful.’

  ‘Yes, Aunt Maude.’

  Daisy had laid out my clothes and suggested I use a little of my Pears’ Liquid Blooms of Roses to brighten my cheeks. I dressed in my favourite walking dress with a matching blue velvet pelisse and plumed bonnet.

  ‘You look a picture, miss,’ said Daisy.

  I smiled, eager to set off.

  Once outside, I was happy that the sun shone, albeit in a pale November fashion. I was relieved it wasn’t raining; rain had such a dispiriting effect upon the bonnet plumes. It was a relief, for a change, not to have to meander at Aunt Maude’s pace but to be able to walk as fast as was ladylike.

  We reached Cumberland Gate but, disappointingly, Alessandro wasn’t there.

  ‘We’ll walk for a while, Daisy,’ I said. I didn’t want him to think I was too eager, even though it was hard to contain my excitement.

  Ten minutes later, Alessandro still hadn’t arrived. It was possible he hadn’t received my note, I supposed, but I fervently hoped Father’s mistreatment of him hadn’t changed his former good opinion of me. Although we’d parted on unhappy terms there had been such easy affection between us before. I knew that some men were not good letter writers but it hurt me that he’d made no attempt to contact me.

  ‘My feet are cold,’ I said. ‘Let us walk to Stanhope Gate in case he’s mistaken the location.’ My mood of happy expectancy began to dissipate.

  We hurried towards the next gate and I sent Daisy to speak to the flower seller who had a stall there but she returned, shaking her head. I worried we might have missed Alessandro at Cumberland Gate and we dashed back but there was still no sign of him. There we waited a further quarter of an hour while disappointment and humiliation gnawed at me.

  ‘I don’t think he’s coming, miss,’ said Daisy. Her nose was cherry red with cold.

  ‘No,’ I said, leaden disappointment in my breast. ‘I don’t think he is.’

  We’d only gone a little way down Park Lane when I heard running footsteps behind us. I whirled around and my spirits soared. Alessandro stood before me. His hair was neat and he wore a well-cut dark coat that could not hide the breadth of his shoulders but his usual smiling demeanour was startling by its absence and that discomfited me.

  ‘I thought you weren’t coming,’ I said. Two boys stood beside him.

  Alessandro made a small bow. ‘I apologise,’ he said. ‘George couldn’t find his shoes and then William became tired of walking. May I introduce you?’

  The children, wooden boats under their arms, made their bows.

  ‘We shall talk while my charges sail their boats,’ said Alessandro, turning away from me.

  Once we’d entered the park gates the boys ran ahead towards the Serpentine. Daisy walked a discreet step behind me but, in any case, Alessandro’s expression was remote and he didn’t speak or offer to take my arm. I hadn’t expected him to be so unapproachable and it alarmed me. A bitter wind gusted across the park and pinched my cheeks.

  We reached the lake and Alessandro helped George and William to launch their boats and found them each a long stick with which to guide their craft.

  ‘Daisy,’ I said, ‘will you watch the children while I speak to Signor Fiorelli?’

  She nodded and went to stand by the water’s edge.

  ‘Alessandro, I can only apologise for Father behaving so badly towards you when you called upon me at Grosvenor Street,’ I said, slipping naturally into Italian. ‘I ran after you but you disappeared into the crowds.’

  ‘I wanted to return Peggy to you. The doll was on Victorine’s bed when you left last year. I thought you might miss it.’ His voice was curiously flat and there was no dancing light today in his brown eyes.

  ‘Oh, I did,’ I said. ‘But what are you doing in London? I thought nothing would induce you to leave Italy and your family?’ I knew I was gabbling but Alessandro barely looked at me, gazing over my shoulder at the boys playing with their boats.

  ‘Only my great love for you could have persuaded me to do so,’ he said in that same expressionless tone of voice. ‘After you left, nothing had any meaning without you. Every day was a torment. And so I came to London to look for you.’

  My spirits soared again. He did still love me! ‘Why didn’t you come and see me? Or at least write to me?’

  ‘You know I tried to see you and I did write to you,’ he said. ‘It hurt me that you never replied to my letters but I came here to try again to persuade you to marry me. I was dying without you and I wanted to take you home.’

  ‘I promised you I’d return, Alessandro,’ I said. ‘I know I’ve been away longer than I expected but…’

  ‘You’ve been away much longer than I expected! When you left you begged me to write to you but after your first letter saying you wished to spend more time with your father, you never wrote to me again,’ he said, his voice rising. ‘For a whole year you left me believing you still loved me, despite your insistence on staying in London. I hoped every day you would return to me. I was driven mad with misery and in the end I left my home and my work to come to you. But you didn’t have the courtesy to tell me you’d become engaged to another.’

  ‘But I haven’t!’ I said. ‘And I didn’t receive any letters from you.’

  ‘Don’t lie to me, Emilia!’ His eyes blazed now.

  I stepped back. ‘How can you accuse me of that?’

  ‘Your father told me you are engaged to his heir.’ Alessandro shrugged. ‘It wounded me here,’ he pressed his clasped hands to his heart, ‘but I understand. These things happen and the life you live now, this rich life, is a dream come true for you. I cannot compete with your future husband, who has everything to offer you.’ Shaking his head, he continued, ‘But I am deeply disappointed in you, Emilia, for not telling me the truth before I found it out for myself.’

  ‘But I’m not engaged to Dolly!’ I blazed with anger at Father. How could he have told Alessandro such a lie?

  ‘Emilia, I saw you.’

  ‘Saw me?’ I was puzzled.

  Alessandro buried his face in his hands for a moment. ‘I often waited over the road,’ he said, ‘praying you’d come out of your father’s house alone. I gave notes to the servants, hoping you might come to the window to speak to me. But then I saw you on the steps with your future husband. He held you close, so close, in his arms, and your sweet mouth was waiting for his kiss.’

  I gasped. ‘It wasn’t like that.’

  ‘I know what I saw, Emilia. For you I have spent months in misery away from my family in a country that is cold and mean-spirited. For you I must remain here until my year’s contract is finished.’ He drew a shuddering breath. ‘Enough. I have come to my senses at last and I will not destroy myself any longer by loving a girl who doesn’t want me. We shall not see each other again.’

  I reached out for him. ‘Alessandro! You must believe me!’

  He shook off my hand and strode away without looking back.

  ‘You’re wrong, Alessandro!’ I remained fixed to the spot, trembling with distress. I stared after him as he collected the two boys and set off along the footpath.

  A moment later Daisy came and touched my arm. ‘Are you all right, miss?’

  All right? My heart had broken, not in two but into smithereens. Alessandro and his charges were fast dwindling into the distance. I swallowed. It was too hard for me to speak.

  ‘Come along, Miss Langdon,’ said Daisy. Her voice was soft as if she were cajoling a child. ‘Let’s get you home and I’ll ask Cook to make you a nice pot of chocolate. You look fair froze to death.’

  By the time Daisy and I reached home we were both chilled to the bone. Daisy brought me the pot of chocolate and I insisted she drank the second cup.

  ‘If you’re struck down with a chill, Daisy,’ I said, ‘it will be my fault.’

  She brought me a sha
wl and rubbed my frozen toes. ‘I’ll fetch you a hot brick wrapped in flannel,’ she said.

  An hour later I was warm again though I still shivered each time I relived the terrible conversation I’d had with Alessandro. It made my chest so tight it was hard for me to breathe.

  During the afternoon my misery turned to anger. No matter what lies Father had told, Alessandro should have believed me. The deciding factor for him had, of course, been his mistaken belief that he’d seen me about to kiss Dolly. If only I hadn’t slipped on the steps!

  I was still alternately distraught and seething with rage when the front door slammed and then Father’s voice boomed out in the hall. Barely pausing to think, I hurried downstairs, rapped on his study door and went in without waiting for his answer.