Thunder's Shadow

by Abagail Eldan

  After supper, I went straight to my room and tried to concentrate on the upcoming finals. We were expected to learn the minutest of details, such as the parts of an insect’s wings. How that would help me to be a better veterinarian, I had no idea.

  I forced myself to study until I fell into bed exhausted from staying awake the night before. And, thankfully, I slept.

  And I endured for a couple of days, keeping busy with school, work, and chores. Marla came over on Thursday, after I got in from work at Buck’s General Store. I had stocked shelves all day and was bone tired.

  Marla didn’t seem herself, but who was? We were going to war. With Dan already in the army, he might be the first to ship out. She had to be worried about him.

  I welcomed her with a smile, not wanting to let my distress over Michael show. I made us a pot of coffee, and we sat at the kitchen table, near the wood stove to stay warm.

  Marla sighed. “It’s going to be a sad Christmas.”

  This wasn’t like her — she was usually so upbeat. I wrapped my fingers around the jadeite coffee cup, letting its heat warm me, its aroma soothe me. “Have you seen Dan or talked to him?”

  “He was here over the weekend — it might be the last time he’ll be able to visit me. He’s stuck on base. Soldiers are coming into Ft. Benning to train as paratroopers.”

  That should be good news for Marla. As a paratrooper instructor, he was unlikely to be shipped overseas. “So, what does he think about the declaration of war?”

  She shot me a glance. “You know Dan.”

  Yes, I had known him all of my life and had dated him myself. I let my gaze drop to my half-empty cup.

  She sighed heavily. “He’s raring to go to war. He doesn’t want to be left behind.”

  Yeah, that sounded like him. I threw her a sideways glance. “But that should make you happy?”

  Her sky-blue eyes surveyed me solemnly. “Not really. Dan... I don’t know... He’s unhappy... and yet he’s excited. All the guys are, if you haven’t noticed.”

  I nodded and waited for her to continue.

  She took a sip of her coffee and set it down on the table before she spoke. “He’s reckless. That’s the only way I know to explain it.”

  “He’s was that way when we were young. Did I tell you how he used to ride his horse so close to me that the horse’s hooves brushed my heels?” I caught her eyes and sucked in my breath, the realization hitting me. Dan had told me he had been drinking that day...

  Marla nodded her head as if she had read my thoughts. “I think he might be drinking again.”

  I caught her hand across the table. “No, surely not. Did you see him?”

  “No... He’s not drinking in front of me, of course.” She shook her head. “Actually, it seems like he’s avoiding me.”

  “I know the feeling.” I took a sip of my coffee. It had grown cold. I stood to get the coffee pot from the back of the stove and refreshed our cups.

  Marla’s eyebrows rose. “What? You and Michael are not having problems, are you?”

  “We’ve broken up, actually.”

  “Jay, you’re joking, right?”

  “No... He doesn’t want to marry until he returns. And he’s joined the Marines. He doesn’t want to see me, before he leaves, so I told him I wouldn’t write...” Tears welled up but I willed them away. “I shouldn’t have said that. What if he doesn’t return?”

  She rose from her seat and came around to hug my shoulders. “Everything will work out. If he doesn’t want to see you, he must have a good reason.”

  Yeah, Sylvia. I didn’t voice my concern, hoping I was wrong. “Well, he says it’s too difficult to continue seeing me when he knows he has to leave. And he said he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to go at all if we married.”

  She squeezed my shoulders. “Aw, Michael’s so sweet.”

  The way Marla said it made me believe Michael had meant the words he had spoken. A teardrop fell on the table. Where had my resolve to stay strong gone?

  Marla perched on the edge of the chair beside me. “Jay, you know Michael is telling the truth. He loves you. Anyone can see that.”

  I swiped at my eyes. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  She suddenly laughed, and I looked up in surprise.

  “Look at the two of us, moping around. What will be will be. No need moping over two guys. Why don’t we do something fun?”

  “Like what?”

  “Let’s go out to eat and catch a picture show. My treat.”

  “I don’t know. I’d have to clean up... get ready.” I looked down at my clothes, grimy from work. “And I need to study.”

  “It won’t hurt to take a break. And you’re fine like you are. Let’s go.”

  Why not? It would do me good to get out for a change. “Let me grab my coat and tell Aunt Liza.”

  Marla needed cheering up, and I hadn’t done a very good job. Instead, I had probably made her feel a lot worse. Maybe dinner and movie would do the trick, for both of us.

  I’d forget about Michael — at least for one night.

  Marla called after me. “Better grab an umbrella. It looks like rain.”

  “Are we walking?”

  “No, I have my father’s car.”

  “Now you’re cooking with gas.”

  Her laughter echoed through the small house.

  By the time we got to the restaurant, it was pouring, the wind blowing the rain in sheets.

  “I’ll let you off at the door so you won’t get wet,” Marla said.

  “Oh, it’s fine. You’re going to get wet. No umbrella can protect you from rain like that,” I pointed out.

  “I’ve got a raincoat and galoshes. I’ll stay dry. You, on the other hand, don’t have either. You will be the one getting soaked.”

  I smiled at her. “You’re right, like always.”

  She pulled to a stop near the front door, protected by a canvas awning. I popped open my umbrella and rushed for its shelter. And Marla had been right. Even at such a short distance, the rain soaked me.

  I shook out my umbrella, smoothed my hair, and waited for Marla, my back to the large window. When I heard the door swing open, I turned to see if it was someone I might know.

  The smile on my face faded when I recognized Michael. He came toward me and grabbed my elbow.

  “What are you doing here?” he hissed in my ear.

  His tone irritated me. I raised my chin. “What business is that of yours? It’s a free country.”

  “You need to go now.”

  “I’m waiting for Marla.”

  He ground his teeth. “All the more reason to go. Now.”

  “Michael Hutchinson! Who died and made you king?”

  His fingers tightened their hold, and he propelled me toward the end of the awning. “Find your friend and get out of here.”

  “You’re hurting me. Let go.”

  He released me and stuck his hands in his pockets. “Listen, Jay. It’s for the best.”

  The door swung open again, and Sylvia appeared. “Michael, are you coming back?” She tilted her head and fluttered her fingers in a wave. “Hi, Sarah Jane. Are you going to join us?”

  My hands clenched into fists, and I gritted my teeth. No wonder Michael was so eager for me to leave. I smiled sweetly, forcing my face to smooth and my fingers to unclench. “I’m so sorry, Sylvia. Perhaps another time.” I opened my umbrella and headed into the rain, to the parking area.

  Michael caught up with me as I rounded the corner of the building. “Jay, it’s not what you think.”

  I turned to face him. He did not have an umbrella, not even a raincoat, and the water flowed freely over his face.

  “Oh? What is it then?”

  He leaned closer to me, whispering. “She’s with Dan.”

  “Really? Maybe I should just go speak to him.” I started to step around him, but he blocked my path.

  “Jay... please. Don’t let Marla see this.” He looked over my shoulder.

  I f
ollowed his line of sight and saw Marla opening the car door. Maybe he was right. Marla didn’t need to see the scene I’d make when I discovered Michael’s lie. Not for a minute did I believe Dan was in the restaurant. Marla had told me he had returned to base and couldn’t leave.

  I turned on my heel and sloshed through the water standing in the parking lot. Marla had her umbrella protecting her, standing with the car door still open. She looked at me quizzically. I simply shook my head and strode around the car to the passenger’s side and got in. She followed suit.

  “I’m sorry, Marla. I’m getting the seat wet.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” She threw her umbrella into the back seat, and I did the same.

  I cleared my throat when she faced me. “I’m not feeling well. Will you take me home?”

  “Was that Michael you were talking to?”

  “Yes, it was Michael.” My teeth chattered. The wet and cold had me shivering.

  “You’re freezing! Let me get the heater going. I wish I had a blanket for you.”

  I waved a hand. “I’ll be okay.” What was a little damp and cold after what had just happened? It was much like that night Michael and Sylvia had come into the soda shop. Then I had dissolved in tears. I wouldn’t give Michael the satisfaction of that ever again. How long was I going to continue to let him break my heart?

  “Where were you?” I asked through my chattering teeth.

  Marla backed out of the parking area and pulled into the street. “I was waiting for it to slack up before I went in.”

  I nodded and took a breath. “Michael was there with Sylvia.”

  “Oh, Jay!”

  I waved my hand again, as if I could erase all the pain. “It’s fine.”

  She pressed her lips together and drove the rest of the way in silence. She stopped as close as she could get to my front door. “Do you want me to come in with you?”

  “No. I think I need to be alone for a while.”

  “I understand. Hurry in and get dried off.”

  “Sorry about the car.” I noticed for the first time that my shoes were covered in mud.

  “I’ll get one of my brothers to clean it when it dries out. Don’t worry.”

  “Goodnight.”

  I slammed the car door and hurried up the steps. Aunt Liza had seen me out the window and met me with a blanket, clucking her tongue. “It’s not fit for man nor beast out there. You two decide to make it an early night?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “There’s leftovers on the stove.”

  “I’m not hungry. I’m going to head to bed. I need to get out of these wet clothes anyway.” My hands were still shaking, from anger or cold I didn’t know.

  She tugged on the blanket, tightening it around my shoulders, and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “Goodnight. Sweet dreams.”

  “You, too.” I left her standing in the hallway and went into my room and shut the door, leaning against it for a moment.

  Sweet dreams? After all that had happened? I shook my head darkly as I changed my clothes.

  But I didn’t cry. I was through crying over Michael Hutchinson!

  Chapter 5—Michael

  It was difficult to completely avoid Michael. We shared two classes and had always taken seats together. He headed to the back, and I sat close to the front that Friday, staying away from him as much as he did me. Outside of class, I caught a glimpse of him and changed my path.

  It was after lunch, when I turned a corner too quickly, that I bumped into him. As I hurried away, I heard a giggle and swung around to see Sylvia possessively take Michael’s arm. He shook her loose. The pain twisted my face before I had time to turn away. Michael did not move, but his eyes darkened and deep lines of anger etched his face. Somehow, I managed to walk away from those penetrating eyes, Sylvia’s laughter following me.

  The pain made the weekend drag and yet it sped exorbitantly forward. Sunday morning arrived, and I dreaded going to church, but neither Michael nor Sylvia were there. William had complained of a headache and also did not go, the first time I had known him to ever miss services.

  And then Sunday night, just as we sat down to supper, there was a knock at the door. Aunt Liza went to answer it and came back and motioned at me.

  “It’s Michael,” she whispered, as if it was a secret. “He won’t come in but asked for you.”

  My eyes flickered toward William who gave me an encouraging nod. Uncle Howard was smiling, making shooing motions. Did they know something I didn’t? I got up and went to the front door but kept the screen shut between us.

  “Yes?”

  Michael met my stare calmly. “Jay, we need to talk. I can’t leave with this misunderstanding between us.”

  “What misunderstanding? I understand perfectly. You don’t want to marry me, you don’t want to see me, and you prefer Sylvia’s company. What is there to talk about?”

  “Lots. Will you come with me?” His voice was gentle. “Please?”

  Hating myself, berating myself for my stupidity, I opened the screen door. He grasped my hand, and his warmth felt so right, I couldn’t bring myself to yank away. We walked to his truck, and he opened the door for me. I hesitated only a second before I climbed in. He went around and got in on his side without speaking.

  “Where are we going?” I asked when he cranked up.

  “I’m taking you some place to talk.”

  “We can talk here in your truck.”

  He shook his head and pulled onto the road.

  “Michael, I was eating supper, and I need to study for finals tomorrow.”

  “Some things are more important, don’t you agree?” He shot me a glance, and a muscle in his jaw twitched. “You’ve worked so hard — at making straight As, at Bucks General Store, helping your aunt and uncle — that you’ve made little time for me.”

  I frowned at him. “We agreed. Both of us. We knew it would be difficult but worth it in the long run.”

  He laughed harshly. “In three years, you haven’t been late once for work, have never called in sick, and you’ve worked your fingers to the bone for the Bucks. Have they given you a raise? Have you even asked for one?”

  “No... but they’ve always treated me kindly. And they’ve struggled, like everyone else.”

  “They bought a new car two months ago.”

  “How do you know?”

  He shook his head, his eyes as dark as a thunderhead. “Why don’t you see your own worth?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He came to a stop in front of a two-story house and got out without answering. He opened the truck door for me.

  “What are we doing here?” I had never been on this side of town before.

  “Are you getting out or not?”

  I got out, and he slammed the door shut. He took my hand again, but this time I jerked away. We walked side by side up the brick walk.

  No one seemed to be home. To my surprise, Michael retrieved a key from under a rock and unlocked the door. He motioned for me to enter through the ornate door.

  My heart fluttered in my chest, but I squared my shoulders and went into the small foyer. It opened onto a wide hallway with a staircase curving up in front of us. On the left was a music room, heavy oak pocket doors pushed open. On the right, the heavy doors were closed.

  “Whose house is this?”

  “A friend’s.”

  “A friend?” I entered the music room and touched the grand piano situated in the curve of a bay window. Across from the piano was a marble fireplace where Michael knelt on the hearth, putting a log on the already burning fire.

  “You seem to know your way around.” Could this be Sylvia’s house? How dare he bring me here? I frowned at him until he glanced in my direction.

  “It’s not Sylvia’s house.”

  How could he always read my thoughts? I moved to an armchair near the fireplace and sat down.

  He had the fire going but didn’t come near me. Instead, he walked to the p
iano and propped on the edge of the stool, facing me from across the room.

  “The house belongs to Dan’s great uncle, Matthew Drake. He’s traveling around Europe, putting his life in danger with all that’s going on over there. Some people never learn.”

  I concentrated on his words. Was he trying to tell me something? I glanced around the room paneled in intricately carved mahogany. “What are we doing here?”

  “His uncle asked if I would live here and keep an eye on things while he was gone. He’s returning tomorrow and kicking me out.”

  “You’ve been living here? For how long?”

  “Eight months.”

  “And you didn’t bother to tell me?” The heat rose to my cheeks as anger slashed through me.

  “I didn’t want to tell you, afraid you might want to come see the house.”

  “And what’s wrong with that?”

  His head fell forward, and he yanked at a lock of hair. “You are such an innocent.” His eyes darkened, and he let out an exasperated breath. “I can’t be alone with you. You don’t know what you do to me — what you’re doing now.”

  “I’m not doing anything. I’m just sitting here.”

  “Exactly.” His black eyes caught mine, and I leaned back farther into the chair, attempting to avoid his dark look.

  A shiver of excitement settled into the pit of my stomach as he silently continued watching me. I jumped to my feet. “We’d better go.”

  He waved me back down, and his eyes lost some of their intensity. “First, we need to get some things straight.”

  I sat down, my back rigid. “I’m listening.”

  “I’ve only ever loved one woman, and that’s you.”

  I nodded but was afraid to believe him. I waited for him to continue.

  He propped his elbows on his knees and looked down at the floor. He tilted his head up and watched me through his lashes. “Sylvia is a share crop.”

  “A what?”

  He straightened and a smile twitched on his lips. “It means she doesn’t care who does the farming.”

  I frowned in puzzlement.