Logan's Promise

by Nancy Howard

  Several of the cowboys have followed Logan into the bunkhouse to get paid, about nine men in all.

  “What are those for,” he asks her. Noticing the checks she holding onto

  “I need you to let these five go today.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we don't need them right now, I can't keep them on.”

  “But maybe I need them here, Logan. Why did you just do this? Why didn't you come down here and talk to me, before you decided to let them go?”

  “Because I don't have to do that, Gavin. It is my decision to do what I think is right for this ranch. And right now, we don't need to be carrying this many cowhands.” She's trying to keep calm in her voice. “Please, don't argue with me. Just give them the checks, and tell them we don't need them right now.” Then she hands him the five other checks she's holding, and starts to leave to avoid an argument.

  Before she can get out the door, Gavin says, “What made you decide on these individuals? I mean, I see you're letting Dusty go. He's a good cowboy. Why Logan?”

  Still trying to maintain calm in her voice, she turns around to face him again, and says, “I don't have to tell you why I let anyone go, Gavin. Just do what I want done.”

  “Logan I know these men better'n you do, and I ain't firin' em. Nope. If you want to fire them, then you do it,” he says. Then hands her back the five checks.

  "Fine. Alright, Gavin, if you won't do your job, then I'll do it for you.” She states, picking up all of the checks from his desk.

  She's in front of him and she firmly plants her hands on his desk. She leans toward him, and says quietly, “One more thing. Don't you ever question my decisions on running this ranch, again. Especially in front of the men, like you're doing now. You've done it for months now, Gavin, and I'm done listening to it. We have nothing but disagreements anymore. Your job is to do what I want done on this ranch. Period. So, I will tell you, in front of them, you make up your mind if you really want this job or not. I cannot, and will, not have you constantly questioning my ability to run this ranch. Sanderson's Hill is my responsibility, and mine alone. It's not my father’s, anymore, he gave it to me a longtime ago. Remember? And it was never my mothers, and it's certainly not yours, now. It is mine. This is something you seemed to have, forgotten. So think on all of this Gavin. Think on it real hard.”

  They are now face to face, but not as lovers anymore.

  The bunkhouse is dead quiet. You could hear a pin drop as Logan lets Gavin know that she's the boss.

  All of this time the nine men, now joined by at least three others have been standing outside Gavin's quarters. They could overhear the two of them as the discussion with each other became more tense. The men have now come to expect this from Logan and Gavin. It's an occurrence between the two of them that has become all too commonplace, lately.

  Logan walks out of his quarters and tries not to show she's upset at Gavin's obstinate attitude, as she hands out the checks. Keeping her composure, she tells four of the men they are being let go. But she also tells them to check back in a couple of months, to see if she needs them then. All the men are cordial to her, accepting their checks politely. They hate to see what is going on between Logan and Gavin as much as anyone on the ranch. These men like both of them, and consider them as good a people as anyone to work for.

  As Logan finishes handing out the checks, she looks up to see Gavin walking toward the door of the bunkhouse. He is carrying his saddlebags, bed roll, and belongings.

  “I guess you made your decision,” she says.

  “Yeah, Logan, I have. This situation—it ain't workin' out for either of us anymore. It's been that way for a while now. We're causin' everybody around here to be on edge. I need to get away from you and this situation, and clear my head.”

  She watches him walk out the door, saying nothing back to him.

  Logan leaves to go back to the house, and doesn't look at Gavin as he walks toward the stable to get his horse to leave. She remembers that first day that he came here, and took this job. He was reluctant to do so, because at first he didn't trust what John had said about bounty hunters. But he wanted to be close to her, and she wanted him close. She still does even though she now sees him preparing to leave.

  She remembers how they walked up to the house together that day, and how they stood and vowed their love for each other. Today as she walks, she remembers that day. She bites her lower lip, and her eyes begin to fill with tears. He's leaving and down inside she hates it. She doesn't want him to leave. She hates what has happened to them over the past several months, because she still loves him. And she is sure he still loves her, too.

  Fifteen minutes later, Logan stands by the window in the office. Her hand over her mouth, tears in her eyes, and running down her cheeks. She watches Gavin ride out. She watches him until he rides over the hill and out of her sight. She wipes her tears and wonders, where will he go? She wants to run after him and stop him, but she doesn't. She knows it wouldn't be a good idea to do that, so she sets down behind her desk. She doesn't want to work. She is crying, and very alone in the office. She puts her head down on her folded arms and continues to cry. She's known for sometime that this day was coming, she just wasn't prepared for it being today. She’s always, down deep inside, held out for that little glimmer of hope that she and Gavin could work things out. But it hasn’t happened.

  Riding away from Sanderson's Hill, Gavin thinks he doesn't want this anymore than Logan does. But he figures it's time for him to leave. He loves her. He doesn't want it to end like this. Maybe it's for the best he thinks. Maybe they need some breathing room from each other for awhile, he's not sure. He's also not sure if he will ever come back to her. He will miss her, and he knows he will always love her.

  He remembers the first time he saw her, when he came up behind her by that livery stable in Las Cruces years ago. He remembers that he was immediately struck by how beautiful she is, in spite of all the tales he'd heard about her. And it's a feeling about her that has never left him, even though he's leaving her today.

  But he knows they were in each others hair. He knows she's right, that she, and she alone is responsible for the decisions at Sanderson's Hill Ranch. He was just trying to help her, and he thinks that maybe he could have done things differently. But she wouldn't listen to his suggestions, nor would he listen to her either. She is very headstrong and stubborn when it comes to managing the ranch. She doesn't like, or want to be challenged about her decisions.

  Gavin also knows that's the way she has to be, given the enormous responsibility she has. He also knows she has to be more forceful because she's a woman in her job. He’s known her for a longtime, and knows how tough she is. And being who she is, she would never back down from any challenge. But that was being a bounty hunter. Running Sanderson's Hill has presented different challenges for Logan. And she is family—the Sanderson’s daughter, now, which puts more pressure on her to make the right decisions.

  After ten minutes of riding, Gavin reaches the main entrance and looks up at the big sign that says, “Sanderson's Hill Ranch.” Remembering the first day he rode out here and saw that sign, he knew this was an important place. He's been here a while, and there was never any doubt in his mind after the shooting, that he and Logan were forever. But now before he leaves, and starts to ride down the main road he knows that's not true anymore.

  Looking up at the sign, he says aloud to himself, “Good-bye, Logan.” Then he rides away and doesn't turn around to look back. Somehow to him that sign, doesn’t signify just the ranch itself, or even John and Catherine anymore. It now stands for Logan even more. She is a Sanderson. She is Sanderson’s Hill Ranch now, and that sign expresses that to him and everyone around here, in every way.

  Catherine, too, watched Gavin leave. She was in the parlor, as he rode away. She heard Logan come back in the house, and now she can hear her crying. She knows how much they love each other, but she also wonders if it is too late for them and will he ever
come back to her. Down in her heart she hates this for the both of them. She remembers many times watching the love they had for each other, blossom and bloom. Until they were the item, the talking piece around the area. Now he's gone, and her daughter is heartbroken.

  30

  “Gavin left today.” Logan says, barely audible. She, John, and Catherine are at the dinner table. Logan has been quiet, hardly talking at all, and barely touching her dinner.

  “I didn't really want to bring this up right now....but.” Logan says. Stopping not finishing her sentence.

  “Well, Missy, it's been no secret that the two of you haven't been getting along for quite some time. I know you may not believe this right now, but this may be the best thing for the both of you.” John says.

  “You mean being apart?”

  “Yes,” Catherine says, “you both need some space from each other.”

  “But I still love him. And I wonder if he’ll ever come back to me.”

  “We know you still love him dear, just as I'm sure he still loves you, too,” Catherine says. “As for him coming back that can only be answered with time, and if it’s meant to be. You have to go on and be stong.”

  “I know...it’s just, you know. Logan says.

  “We know,” Catherine says.

  “And don't you worry about bringing this up now. We both know,” John says.

  “Yes, dear, I saw him ride out this afternoon, after you came back to the house. I told John about it.”

  “I just don't know what happened to us. I wanted to go after him,” she says. Her voice quivering, as she puts here hands over her face, and she starts to cry again.”

  Catherine gets up from where she setting, and pulls her chair up next to Logan. Then puts her arms around the young woman, that is now her daughter. She pulls her up close and hugs her tightly, letting Logan know that she is loved.

  Logan doesn't resist Catherine's overtures of comforting her, either. As she lays her head on her mother's shoulder, wiping away tears.

  John says, “Missy, if you want to take a few days off to clear your head, then do that. I'll take care of the ranch, while you do.”

  Logan shakes her head, she's setting up now, still wiping a few tears, “You'd do that for me? Because I'd like to do that. You sure it won't be too much of an imposition on you?”

  “No, it won't, and yes, you know I will help you with the ranch anytime you need me, too. It’s the least I can do from my daughter. And this is one of those times, Missy. You need some time off to clear your head.”

  Logan manages a slight smile shaking her head. Then she says, “thank you. I been meaning to get into town to talk to Bill Chatfield about some stuff anyway, and maybe do some shopping. This will be a good time to do that. I just haven't had time. I’ve been so busy.”

  “We know that dear and we want you take that time, take all you need,” Catherine says, hugging her daughter, as Logan hugs her mom back.

  THAT NIGHT AFTER SHE went to bed, she lays awake longing for Gavin's presence. Even though he hasn't slept there for over six months now. And though things were bad between them recently, she can't believe that she won't see him anymore. She tosses and turns. Sleep does not come easy. Eventually she cries herself to sleep. It has not been a good day, is her last thought.

  The next morning Logan gets up and goes down to breakfast, John and Catherine are setting there. Logan greets them as she always does, but for the most part she is quiet. Not really hungry, she pours herself a cup of coffee. She didn't sleep well—up in the middle of the night, she had gone downstairs and outside. She sat in the porch swing and remembered all the times she and Gavin sat there. Especially after the party, after John first put her in charge of the ranch. She smiled, thinking about all those naysayers who doubted her ability to run Sanderson's Hill Ranch. She proved them wrong, but now her position of authority here has caused her to lose the man in her life.

  As she sat in the swing, she thought back to the party. She thought about how everyone present that day, watched her and Gavin. Back then they were the number one item in Folsom. She remembers how he walked around behind her that day, and put his strong arms around her. Drawing her up close to him, and kissing her about her cheek and neck. Telling her how beautiful she is.

  Tears fill her eyes, as she reminisces, and she realizes what John had said earlier, could be true. That this may be the best thing for them. To be apart for awhile, to gather their thoughts. She sat there for a little while longer, knowing that crying won't bring him back. So she decided to just go back up to her room, too try and sleep. Catherine heard Logan get up in the middle of the night. She heard her go downstairs and then back to her room. Catherine is worried about her. She didn't sleep well, either.

  After breakfast Logan goes back up to her room and gets dressed to go into town. She's had George hitch up the buggy, as she prepares for a trip into Folsom. She just wants to get away from the ranch for a while and get some air. She hasn't been to town for sometime, and she feels like now it would help her clear her head just a bit. She knows the hurt and the pain of Gavin leaving is not going to go away, and just disappear. That it will take time for that to happen. Her heart is broken today and it would be easy to just sit around and cry, and that would make any healing more difficult for her. She knows getting away and doing something will take her mind off of all that has happened between her and Gavin.

  LOGAN PARKS THE BUGGY in front of the dress shop, but doesn't immediately go in there. That's another reason for coming to town, is to see Linda and Grace, her two best friends. First she decides to go to the bank to see Bill Chatfield about some business. She's had some ideas brewing in her head for the ranch for sometime now, and wants to discuss them with him.

  On her way as she crosses the street, she remembers the first day she got here and how she took care of that drunk. This causes her to smile to herself, something she finds that surprises her considering her mood right now. She's greeted by people in the town, with big hellos, and smiles. This quickly brings to mind, how she was received that first day she went into the dress shop to buy that dress. A dress she still has today. It was not with smiles and big hellos like will happen today, that's for sure.

  She is respected, she is liked. Everyone in Folsom remembers what she did when Hogg came to town that fateful day, and shot up the place. They all remember her heroics as she risk her own life, to get rid of that vermin Hogg and his gang.

  She reaches the bank, opens the door and walks in. She looks over, and sees Chatfield is at his desk, as usual. There are a couple of folks at the teller's window. Logan remembers the teller Josh who was killed by Hogg and his gang. He was such a nice man she remembers.

  Chatfield looks up and sees Logan standing on the other side of his desk. He stands up, almost surprised that he sees her, “Logan. What brings you in here today? Have a seat, dear,” he says.

  They shake hands and Logan sets down, he re-seats himself. Chatfield is a big man, and balding. He's dressed in a business suit, which is proper attire for the bank president.

  “I haven't seen you here in town for quite a while, nor do we see your folks much anymore, at all. Are they okay?”

  Logan smiles fondly, and says, “oh, yeah, they're both just fine. I'm just taking a couple of days off.

  “Letting John tend to the ranch, are you?”

  “Yeah, I don't want him to get rusty.”

  He chuckles and notices the twinkle in Logan's eye and the soft smile on her face, as she thinks about her adoptive parents. He says, “you're really fond of them aren't you?”

  “Yes, yes I am, I love them both so dearly, and owe I them so much, Bill.”

  “Everyone and I do mean that, knows. And don't you forget how much they love you, Logan.”

  “Believe me, I know that, too,” she says. Still with a soft smile on her face.

  “You know, Logan, you may or may not know this but Jenny was a lot like her mother and it use to concern John. She showed very li
ttle interest in learning how to run the ranch. She passed away of course, leaving John and Catherine empty. Then you happened along, and lo and behold all of a sudden John Sanderson had found a daughter out of the blue that's just like him. The one who wanted to learn to run the ranch. You are so much like him, even though your not his blood daughter.”

  “Oddly enough I have heard that, and many times, too,” she laughs.

  Bill smiles shaking his head in agreement.

  “So, tell me dear, what can I do for you today?”

  Well, I've been wanting to come in and discuss some things with you for a while now. But until today I haven't had the time.”

  “Yes, you've had your nose to the grindstone for quite sometime now, young lady,” he says.

  “Bill, I been thinking about expanding the size of the ranch, and was wondering what's going on with Henry's old place?”

  “It's in bankruptcy, Logan. As you know, Henry never paid a dime for what he bought. Except for a pittance every now and then, to keep me from foreclosing on him. What has happened is a lot of that ranch has reverted back to its original owner—mostly the US government.”

  “So is it for sale?”

  “Well, of that, I'm not so sure, it is. I would have to do some digging around for you. Do you have any particular place in mind?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I do. I would like to obtain the part that John wanted to buy out by the mesa. If it's available?”

  “I'll do some checking on that first. Any reason why you want to buy it?” Chatfield thinks he knows the answer, she's about to give him.

  “Yeah, I want to do it for them, but mostly John. He really had his heart set on buying that piece of property, when I first came here. And of course Baker beat him out of it. It hurt him that he didn't get it, I could see that.”

  “I know that. He was extremely disappointed when he found out Baker bought it. Does he know what you're doing here?”