The Forever Girl

by Jill Shalvis

  “Agreed,” Caitlin said. “Never again. You guys are the mac to my cheese.”

  They sealed the vow with a glass of wine that turned into a couple of bottles. The rest of the evening was a pleasant blur for Maze as the three of them sat up late doing Cat’s favorite thing, making lists, in this case for what else still needed to be done for the wedding.

  “Oh, and I’ve got to pick up Dillon’s wedding band at the jeweler’s and make the final payment,” Caitlin said, and grimaced. “Without letting Dillon know, since I was supposed to do it two weeks ago. And also I need to let his mom know I picked out the flowers with my mom during an appointment when she FaceTimed in. There are no decisions left to be made, even though she’s insisting on coming with me to make that final payment in a few days.” She thunked her head on the table. “Oh my God, why didn’t I elope?”

  “I can handle the jeweler for you,” Maze said.

  “You’ve done so much already.”

  “Don’t you know?” Maze took her hand. “I’d do anything for you. Well, anything except deal with your scary-sounding future mother-in-law. You need to find your backbone, babe.”

  When Caitlin teared up, Maze pointed at her.

  “No. No more tears. I’ve used up my quota.”

  “Fine,” Caitlin said. “But hugs are endless.”

  “Oh my God. No—” But it was futile. Caitlin already had her in an arm hold.

  THE NEXT MORNING came way too quickly. Maze stood in the shower trying to steam her hangover away. It wasn’t working.

  “Tell me again why I have to be in here with you while you’re in the shower?” Jace asked through the shower curtain from his perch on the counter.

  “Because you had one job, to be my boyfriend, and so far no one’s buying it. You need to yell out my name. Or moan really loud. No, wait! Do both!”

  The curtain was yanked back a few inches. “You can’t be serious,” he said.

  “Hey! Do you mind? Naked in here!” She put a wet hand to his face and pushed his head out of the shower.

  “I didn’t look. Also, nice tat.”

  “You said you didn’t look!”

  “I lied. See, that’s how you do it, Maze. You make the lie believable.”

  She glared at him and then closed the curtain again in a huff.

  “And anyway, I think Walker really cares about you,” Jace said quietly.

  She yanked the curtain open. “For the last time, he’s done with me, okay? He came here with divorce papers, so please, tell me one more time that he cares about me . . .”

  He shook his head. “How about I tell you something else instead. You two need to figure this out sooner than later, because I’ve got a problem.”

  She turned off the water and wrapped a towel around herself. “I can’t handle any more problems.”

  “I’ve got a thing for Heather.”

  “Because she’s awesome.”

  “So . . . you’re okay with it?” he asked slowly, cautiously.

  “Very. She deserves a good guy and you’re the best of them.”

  He stilled, then gave a small smile. “Thanks. I’d like to get to know her better, but that’s difficult when your husband is constantly eyeballing me like he wants to kill me. And FYI, he probably could in a thousand and one different ways with his bare hands.”

  “He doesn’t care if I’m with you.”

  “Okay, let’s pretend for one second that’s true—which it isn’t. But if it was, then why are we having pretend sex in the shower?”

  “I don’t know. It’s ridiculous.” She covered her eyes for a beat to think. “I’m ridiculous. I have no idea why this all is getting to me.”

  “Don’t you?”

  She dropped her hand and looked at him, completely confused, and he visibly softened.

  “Maze, you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. Put it together.”

  She realized he was trying to tell her that this was getting to her because she still had feelings for Walker. And while she suspected deep, deep down that it might be true, there was no way in hell she was going to admit it.

  “You need to tell him,” he said.

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m a stand-up guy, and I hate this. I hate making everyone here think we’re together when we’re not. I was wrong to agree. And you’re wrong too, because in case you’ve forgotten, you’re a stand-up chick as well.”

  Maze walked out of the bathroom and ran right into the brick wall that was Walker.

  His hands came up to her arms, holding her steady while she got her feet beneath her. Flustered, she took a step back. “Were you eavesdropping?” she asked, wincing at how annoyingly breathless she sounded.

  “Didn’t you want me to be?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Hmm. You forget . . .” He dipped his head so that his mouth brushed her ear. “I know what you sound like when you’re not faking.”

  Why on earth had she thought bringing Jace as her boyfriend would ever work? Because Walker was right. He knew the real thing between them had been heart-stopping and emotional, and nothing had ever been like it. And if that didn’t drive her nuts . . .

  Sammie came barreling down the hall and threw herself at Walker’s legs. “Birds!”

  “You want to go see the birds?” he asked, hoisting her up.

  She nodded vehemently.

  “You got it.” He looked at Maze. “See how it works? You ask for what you want. You use your words, Maze. It’s not magic.”

  When she didn’t say anything—because what was there to say?—he gave her a long look and left with Sammie.

  Chapter 12

  Caitlin’s to-do list:

  —Figure out how to lose fifteen pounds in four days.

  It was noon and Caitlin was already too exhausted for the reception rehearsal. But Maze had everyone all lined up outside like good little soldiers, and she was trying to pay attention while obsessing over things like would her wedding dress really fit? And did she need a wax? Anything to avoid thinking about how Michael would’ve loved this week and how she shouldn’t have to do this without him.

  “Participation is mandatory and you will have fun,” Maze commanded.

  Caitlin had to laugh. Clearly, her refound BFF was channeling the bossy bride herself. Maze was in running gear that had most likely never seen so much as a jog, but she looked impressively in charge as she strode back and forth in front of them, the binder tucked under one arm, her iPad under her other. The only thing she was missing was a whistle. Even Dillon was there, though Caitlin had to promise him his favorite sexual favor to get him out here.

  “So,” Maze said loudly with fanfare, “today’s mission: we’re going to run through and practice all the reception activities. Quickly. I call it a speed reception rehearsal.” She paused, clearly expecting excitement.

  Everyone just stood there looking at her with varying degrees of boredom. Well, except for Roly and Poly, who were in their fancy outdoor beds napping in the sun.

  “Hey!” Maze said, pointing at them all. “This is going to be fun, dammit! Now, look alive, people. I’ve divided up the itinerary. I estimate the real thing on Saturday will take three hours, but we’re going to run through it in one hour today. Hence the ‘speed’ part of the speed reception rehearsal. Get it?”

  Deadpan looks.

  “Ugh.” Maze tossed up her hands. “Fine, we’ll just get on with it. Everyone go to your designated table, where there’s an itinerary. First up is the introduction of the bride and groom. Then drinks—that should cheer all you lushes up. Food’s next, which for today’s purposes is Taco Bell takeout because I didn’t have time to cook.”

  “Didn’t have time or can’t cook?” Jace asked.

  Walker laughed.

  “Nice to see you two bonding,” Maze said, heavy on the sarcasm. “After food, we dance. Then the cutting of the cake and more dancing. Oh, and there’s also a game going on the whole time, called Secret Miss
ion. Your instructions are taped beneath the seat of your individual chairs. Be discreet. Don’t share. It’s called Secret Mission for a reason. Now go!”

  Caitlin moved to Maze. “I’m impressed,” she said, sincerely touched. This was more than she could have imagined asking Maze for. “You’ve gone over and above.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I plan to embarrass the hell out of you with my maid of honor speech.”

  Cat turned Maze to face her. “You know how you think I’m perfect?”

  “Well, not totally perfect,” Maze said. “You’ve got a hair out of place here.” She patted the side of Caitlin’s head, making her laugh.

  “You know how you think I’m perfect?” Caitlin asked again softly.

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, I think you’re perfect, Maze. Just as you are.”

  Maze’s eyes got misty, but she then quickly rolled them. “And I think you’re wearing your rose-colored glasses again.”

  “Nope,” Caitlin said. “I’m allergic to roses, remember? Just like you’re allergic to compliments.”

  Maze laughed and strode off to check on her minions. She’d set up the mock reception in the grass. Talking and laughing among themselves, they had read their secret missions and, to Caitlin’s relief, they seemed to be taking the game seriously. Except for Dillon. He was sitting quietly, looking at his card with resigned annoyance.

  It’d been her idea to do the game. She’d seen it on Pinterest. At the real reception, everyone would be given a secret mission, written specifically for them and stuck under their chair—things like hug a friend or relative you haven’t seen in a long time, each task designed to encourage mingling. The first five people to drop their completed mission into a basket at the head table would win a prize.

  For today, she’d created fun, easy missions for Maze to hand out. There’d been a brief debate on this issue because Maze had wanted to come up with the missions herself, but Cat had thought that . . . dangerous. Maze had sighed but ultimately agreed—she couldn’t be trusted.

  Heather’s mission was to get someone to swear. Walker’s was to make someone laugh out loud. Dillon needed to get Caitlin to swoon (okay, so that one was self-serving, sue her). Jace’s mission was to get someone to rumba with him. And Maze . . . all she had to do was smile at someone unprompted.

  Maze, as acting DJ, called Caitlin and Dillon up for their first dance.

  Dillon came for Caitlin with his charming smile, the one that always disarmed her. He tugged her to him, his hands going straight to her ass.

  “Hey,” she said. “This dance is supposed to be classy.”

  “But this is just practice.”

  “Yes. For the real thing.”

  Dillon sighed.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “It’s something,” she insisted.

  “I thought this wedding would be fun, is all.”

  She stared at him. “Are you kidding me? I wanted a small family-only wedding. Having a big three-ring-circus wedding for basically your mother because you’re an only child and all she’s ever wanted was a huge wedding for you—not nearly as much. But I’m trying to make the most of it.”

  He sighed again. “It’s not all my mom’s fault. You haven’t really ever tried with her.”

  Caitlin bit back her automatic defensive response and counted to five, like Walker had taught her. And damn if she didn’t realize in those five seconds that Dillon might be a little bit accurate. Or a lot. “Fine,” she said. “You’re right. I could try harder with your mom.”

  He blinked in surprise. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

  Feeling a surge of affection for him, she forced a smile. “Besides, we’re going to Bali for a week, so who knows, maybe we’ll get started on something from your life list.”

  “Like . . . planning out our retirement?” he asked.

  “I was thinking one of the other things.”

  He accidentally danced on her toes.

  “Ouch!”

  “I’m sorry!”

  Maze quickly came to cut in and Caitlin happily let her. From the corner of her eye she caught sight of Heather and Jace dancing the rumba, looking far more like a bride and groom than she and Dillon had looked. She turned to watch Dillon and Maze dancing very stiffly, silent. Awkward with each other.

  But that’s not what bothered her. Maze might be hard on the people in her life, but she generally liked everyone.

  And yet she didn’t like Dillon.

  Walker didn’t like him either. At first she’d attributed that to the brotherly feelings Walker had for her, and as the brother of her heart, he didn’t feel anyone was good enough for her. But she’d come to realize he specifically didn’t think Dillon was good enough for her.

  So to realize that straight shooter Maze felt the same way threw her off. If Maze didn’t like Dillon, what was Caitlin missing? Sure, he could be abrupt and standoffish, and was often too busy to let himself be overly friendly, but he loved her. He told her so all the time.

  But he doesn’t show you . . .

  That quiet little voice from deep inside her chest had her going still. Okay, that wasn’t quite true. He took care of her. He always made her coffee and brought it to her in bed, just the way she liked it. And since that was an iced dulce de leche, it wasn’t easy. He also never complained about her Amazon Prime addiction, even though at the moment she wasn’t earning nearly the same amount of money he was. But maybe that was mostly because he enjoyed the fruits of her shopping, especially when it was lingerie.

  She drew a deep breath. What else? Well . . . they were sexually compatible, but dear God, it had to be more than that.

  But what if it wasn’t? What if she’d been wrong about him being her person for life simply because he was good in bed? And now was a fine time to be wrong about something, with the I do’s only four days away.

  Suddenly both Heather and Jace were racing each other to the basket, missions clearly accomplished. They arrived at the same time, bumped into each other, and knocked each other down. They were laughing as Jace helped Heather up, and he gestured for her to drop her paper into the basket first, graciously offering her the winning spot. Heather grinned up at him, looking young, carefree, and happier than she ever had.

  Caitlin wondered . . . did she ever look at Dillon like that? She turned to look for him and found him walking toward her. “Hey,” she said with a smile. “What do you think?”

  “Uh, that your friends are crazy?”

  “You mean my siblings.” She realized he was holding his arm to his chest. “What happened?”

  “Walker and I arm wrestled for the last cold beer.”

  Walker was lethal. She knew that. She’d once gone to the gym with him and watched him spar in the ring. He was a lean, mean fighting machine, and she’d never bet against him. But she’d also bet her life that he’d never, ever hurt anyone on purpose. “He didn’t hurt you,” she said in disbelief. “He’d never—”

  “Wasn’t him, but nice to know you’ll jump to his defense over me.”

  She grimaced. “Dillon—”

  “I lost the round with Walker, and then Maze took his seat. She jumped the gun and slammed my arm down to the table, taking the win and the last beer.”

  “So you’re saying that Maze hurt you.”

  “She’s an animal.”

  Caitlin laughed, because in a way that was true. Maze, as well as Walker, was incredibly competitive and didn’t recognize anything but the win. “She’s like a hundred twenty-five pounds, and you’re, what, two hundred?”

  “One-eighty,” he corrected. “I finally dropped my extra holiday weight, and you’re missing my point. What are we doing here, Caitlin? Having a reception practice? It’s silly and a waste of time.”

  “You don’t understand,” she murmured. “You can see your whole family whenever you want. For me, it’s about spending time together with mine when I can get it.”

  “Is that why you’
ve put more time into this week than you did the actual wedding?”

  “Don’t be silly.” But that little voice, the one she was starting to hate, said he was right again.

  “And I thought you were supposed to go shopping with Mom today,” Dillon said.

  “No, I left her a message that everyone was in town and staying here, and she said that she and your aunt would go together.”

  “For the last-minute wedding things,” Dillon said doubtfully. “You’re going to let them have full rein of anything wedding, Ms. Control Freak?”

  “Hey, I’m not always a control freak.”

  He lifted a brow.

  She rolled her eyes and moved off to go check on Maze, but her phone rang. Dillon’s mom. She considered not answering, but she’d just promised Dillon to try harder with her.

  “Darling,” his mom said when she picked up. “The baker said your wedding cake is carrot, which can’t possibly be right.”

  “No, it’s right,” Caitlin said. “They make the most amazing carrot cake, it’s to die for. But why did they call you?”

  “I called them. Just making sure to dot all your i’s and cross all your t’s since I know your mom isn’t here in town yet to assist. But Dillon should’ve told you—my sister doesn’t like nutmeg and my mother hates carrot cake. We were thinking of replacing it with something more . . . wedding-like.”

  Caitlin ground her back teeth together. “I understand it’s not the most common choice, but my dad loves carrot cake and it’s his birthday on Saturday. So we thought it’d be a lovely tribute, and since they’re paying for the cake—”

  “How about I get the baker to make you and your parents a few carrot cupcakes? And then you can pick a different flavor for the cake. Your choice.”

  “My choice is carrot.” Yes, she’d just promised to play nice, but she wasn’t going to lose this battle. “Uh-oh, I think we’ve got a bad connection.” She imitated a crackling sound and then disconnected.

  “Gotta put more phlegm into that crackle,” Walker said, having come up beside her.

  She rolled her eyes and looked over to find Dillon eyeing his phone with a familiar frown. What now? She went to him, and he gave her a quick kiss. “I’ll be back.”