The Forever Girl

by Jill Shalvis

  Chapter 26

  When Walker got to the parking lot, he realized Jace and Heather were still parked and getting Caitlin into the car. Pulling out his phone, he turned and started walking in the opposite direction as he called Heather.

  “Hey,” she said. “Where are you?”

  “Change in plans. Wait for Maze so you can caravan back to the house together.”

  “Sure, but where are you—”

  “I’ve got a ride. Take care of them, okay?”

  “Of course,” she said. “Walker—”

  “Gotta go.” He disconnected the call.

  Yeah, it was a dick move, but he needed a few moments. Probably more than a few.

  He got an Uber to his car and then headed to the Whiskey River, where he found Boomer sitting at a high-top table swearing at his laptop.

  “You know,” Boomer said in disgust, “just once I want a username and password prompt to say ‘close enough.’” He looked up. “Interesting wedding.”

  “Yeah.” Walker helped himself behind the bar, grabbing two water bottles.

  “Practicing for when you buy this place from me?” Boomer asked hopefully as he accepted one of the bottles.

  “Right now?” Walker sat across from him. “Just working on surviving.”

  Boomer clinked his bottle to Walker’s. “I’ll toast to that.” He drank and then cocked his head. “You looked messed up.”

  Walker lifted his first finger and thumb about an inch apart, and Boomer laughed.

  “Let me guess. Woman problems.”

  “How did you know?”

  “Because only a woman could put that look on a man’s face. Been there, man.”

  “Yeah?” Walker took a long pull of his beer. “You ever get messed up by the same woman twice?”

  Boomer laughed long and hard over that. “There’s only ever really been one for me, and she’s messed me up so many times I’ve lost count. Still married her, though.” He shrugged. “The heart wants what it wants, and at the end of the day, no matter how much of polar opposites we are, no matter how crazy we drive each other, the love never fades.”

  The love never fades . . .

  Walker was still thinking about that an hour later when he ended up back at Caitlin’s cabin. He had no idea what he was doing or why he’d lost his shit over a note from Maze that hadn’t even been directed at him.

  Okay, so that was a lie, because he did know why, and it was called fear. The same old fear that lived deep inside him, eating at everything good in his life. The fear that he was easy to walk away from.

  He let himself into the house and instantly knew it was empty. He pulled out his phone and once again called Heather.

  “I’ve got Caitlin, no worries,” Heather said in lieu of a greeting. “Dillon took their honeymoon without her, so she and Jace and Sammie and I are having takeout on Avila Beach and pretending it’s Bali. Join us?”

  “Where’s Maze?”

  She hesitated.

  “Heather.”

  “She left.”

  He couldn’t say he was surprised. She’d been compelled to leave—by him. That was the thing about fears. You could use them against yourself to make them actually come true. And he didn’t see a way to change that.

  Two hours later he was on a late-night red-eye heading east. Getting back to work was what he needed. Real life was what he needed. It was how he’d always lived, in the present. When one assignment was over, he had always needed to move on to the next as fast as possible, taking control of his future in a way he’d never been able to do in his past. It was a good, solid decision. He needed to make more of those.

  He made it back to D.C. and handled his reentry into “real life” by doing what he always did after a rough case at work: he slept, losing all day Sunday.

  Monday morning, he hit the ground running, getting into the office just as his team’s morning meeting was starting up.

  Red, his boss, gave him a long side-eye but didn’t say a word as Walker dropped into a chair waiting for his orders. After addressing everyone else but Walker, Red cleared the room. “You look like shit.”

  “Good to see you too,” Walker said. “What do you have for me?”

  “Depends on why you look like shit.”

  “Not talking about it.”

  Red studied him. “Is your head in the game?”

  “It will be.”

  “When?” Red asked.

  “When you give me my next case.”

  Red nodded slowly, then shook his head.

  “What does that mean?”

  “You’re on paperwork, backing up the other ongoing cases.”

  Walker narrowed his eyes. “You’re making me a desk jockey?”

  “Until you can tell me your head is totally in the game, yeah.”

  Walker scrubbed a hand down his face. He wasn’t stupid enough to call his boss out, though. And besides, the truth was his head wasn’t on straight. Not even close. The weight of his sidearm after eleven days away—and how was it that it’d only been eleven days? it felt like years—was heavier than it used to be. And it somehow matched the heaviness in his heart.

  Yeah, this time he’d messed up. He’d convinced himself that no matter how much he wanted Maze to lean into a relationship with him, she’d eventually run.

  So he’d just beaten her to it.

  Asshole move, and he knew it. And the things he’d said to her . . . He let out a shaky, shuddery breath, because he wasn’t proud of it. He’d said shit he didn’t mean and then he’d run, all to avoid her running. Yeah, he was some catch.

  He tried to bury himself in work while he figured out what to do. By noon, he’d provided intel for some of his team’s cases. Important work, but his eyes were bleeding from boredom and the knowledge he needed to be somewhere else.

  Like back in Wildstone.

  He was in the break room fighting the piece-of-shit coffee maker, and was two heartbeats away from pulling his gun and shooting the damn thing, when someone came into the room.

  Jeff was a special agent whom Walker had worked with on many cases. The guy took one look at Walker’s coffee situation and laughed. “The big badass Scott, taken down by a coffee maker.”

  Actually, he was being taken down by a damn broken heart, which he’d done to himself, but hell if he’d admit that.

  “So, how’s it being back?” Jeff asked. “Anything exciting going on?”

  “From behind my desk? Not exactly.”

  “Come on, man,” Jeff said. “Even behind the desk you’re lethal. You saved my ass earlier. Thanks for providing the missing intel. I’ve researched that file a thousand times and I never found it.” He clapped Walker on the shoulder. “It’s good to have you back where you belong.”

  Walker couldn’t echo the sentiment. He was going through the motions, and he wasn’t invested, not even close. Turned out Red had nailed it—his head was most definitely not in the game.

  And he knew it wouldn’t ever be.

  Up until last week, his attitude had been simple. There was never a need to look back, at anything. All he had was forward.

  But Maze had changed him for the better. He’d let it scare him into running, but he’d been wrong.

  He knew that now.

  He needed to go after Maze and right his wrongs. He also wanted to move back to Wildstone, buy the Whiskey River, and, if they were interested, hire Caitlin and Heather in whatever capacity they wanted, hopefully giving them a new future as well.

  “I’m heading out on assignment later today,” Jeff said. “See you in a few weeks when I’m back.”

  Walker nodded, but he knew he wouldn’t be here in a few weeks. By the end of the day, he’d given his notice to Red. He took the elevator to the lobby and headed across the floor, only to stop short at the sight in front of him.

  Maze was sitting on one of the reception chairs, and his knees went weak with relief. She was sitting next to . . . Elvis?

  When she saw him c
oming, she stood up. She didn’t have many tells, but her hands were clasped together and, though the smile on her face was real—if not exhausted—she was white-knuckling it.

  Elvis stood too, and Walker realized it was Jace in a costume, making the ugliest Elvis he’d ever seen. Caitlin and Heather were also there, along with Sammie. The toddler caught sight of Walker and started bouncing up and down in Heather’s arms, clapping her hands in delight.

  “What are you all doing here?” he finally managed.

  Maze smiled a little nervously. “Waiting for you.”

  For the first time in days, he felt a ball of heat swell inside his chest. Hope. Because no one had ever waited for him.

  Heather hugged him tight. Sammie too, wrapping her little arms around his neck and brushing a very wet kiss to his cheek. He hugged them both back, then tugged lightly on Sammie’s ponytail, making her giggle. He shook his head, boggled. “What’s going on?”

  Everyone looked at Maze. She was wearing dark jeans and a white button-down, which, if he wasn’t mistaken, was one he’d accidentally left in Wildstone. Her boots gave her an extra three inches, and so did her hair, since it was piled up on top of her head.

  “They came as my support group,” she said.

  She stepped close, and he had to force himself not to touch her, not to haul her into him and hold on far too tight, because he wasn’t sure if he could let her go again. “Maze—”

  She shook her head. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve got to go first, and fair warning, I haven’t slept in two days, I’ve had six cups of coffee since we landed, and I think I’ve got a Cheerio in my bra.” She took Walker’s hand and pressed it to her heart. “When I left you that lipstick note, it wasn’t like Vegas. I was just in a hurry. I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t actually fully understand what you must’ve gone through until we ran by the church to pick up Caitlin’s stuff and I saw the message again.”

  He opened his mouth, but she shook her head.

  “I’ve got more, and there’s even some groveling.” She spread her hands out at her sides. “This is me, Walk. I screw things up, especially matters of the heart. I promise you to work harder at it, but this is who I am. I react without thinking, especially with the people I love. On Saturday, all I could think about in that moment was getting Caitlin out of there.”

  “She said the L-word,” Heather whispered. “We all heard that, right?”

  “Shh!” Cat said. “I wanna hear the groveling.”

  Walker ignored their audience and kept his eyes on Maze. “I don’t want you to grovel,” he said. “I don’t deserve that. In fact, you deserve it from me.” He cupped her face, so damn happy to see her he could scarcely breathe. “The things I said to you before I left . . .” His throat felt tight. “I was wrong, about all of it. I didn’t mean any of it. I overreacted. I was scared.” He shook his head. “No, make that terrified. I thought you’d walk away eventually, and I used the excuse to beat you to it.”

  “But—” Maze started, but this time he put a finger to her lips.

  “I acted on impulse,” he said, “like someone else I know.” He felt a small huff of amusement against his finger. “And then I went from terrified to . . . crazy.” He shook his head. “When I saw you at Michael’s grave, smiling and laughing . . .”

  She closed her eyes. “I swear, that wasn’t about you.”

  “I know that now. And I knew it then too. I was just too far gone to admit it. I was a complete idiot.”

  Wrapping her hand around his wrist, she pulled his finger from her lips. “Well, I don’t know about complete idiot . . .”

  “Complete,” he repeated. “But luckily I’m still capable of learning from my many, many mistakes.” He pulled out his phone and showed her his boarding pass for his flight out in two hours.

  “You were coming back,” she whispered.

  “I was coming back. But that didn’t mean I took this”—he gestured between them—“as a given. In fact, it was the opposite. You have a choice here. You always have the choice.”

  “See?” she said, her eyes shiny. “Definitely not a complete idiot.”

  With a rough laugh, he hauled her in tight for a long, deep, desperate kiss. When he pulled back and looked into her gorgeous eyes, he said, “I love you, Maze. I have since that day I arrived in Wildstone to find you fighting a bully for Michael.”

  Jace shook his head. “So I borrowed this stupid Elvis costume and got on a plane for nothing?”

  “Not for nothing,” Walker said. “Because you look pretty stupid, and that’s very amusing.” He looked at Maze again. “We’re really doing this, right? You’re mine, and—”

  “Um, excuse me,” Heather interrupted, leaning forward to Walker. “Sorry, I don’t mean to hold up the negotiations, but that whole ‘you’re mine’ thing is a little alpha, and alphas aren’t exactly in vogue right now.”

  Walker never took his eyes off Maze. “—and I’m yours.”

  “Oh, well, that’s okay then,” Heather said, nodding, backing up. “Carry on.”

  Maze smiled up at Walker with her entire heart in her eyes. Or maybe it was his heart . . . “I love you too,” she said, voice sure and firm. “I’ve always loved you. And I’m not afraid of it anymore.”

  He slid his hands into her hair. “Say it again.”

  She smiled. “I’m not afraid.”

  He tightened his grip on her. “Not that.”

  She laughed and stepped into him so there was zero space between them. “I love you, Walker.”

  His heart caught and rolled over. “Enough to stay married to me?”

  “I burned the divorce papers, so yes, and even though I have no idea what I can offer you other than adventure and great toast, I want to stay married to you.”

  “How about your heart? You offering me that?”

  She smiled. “Already yours. Has been for as long as I can remember. And I think we need a honeymoon this time that lasts longer than a few hours.”

  “God, yes,” Walker said fervently. “And a lot farther away than Vegas. I’m thinking somewhere private and warm enough so that clothes are optional.”

  Caitlin looked at Heather. “Should we tell them we can still hear them?”

  “They don’t care.” Jace tugged off his Elvis wig. “They’re too busy trying to swallow each other’s tonsils.”

  This was true. Walker was now kissing Maze like his life depended on it, loving how she made that soft, needy, just-for-him sound from deep in her throat. Lifting his lips from hers, he smiled into her eyes. “Do you hear talking?”

  “No.” She laughed and nipped his jaw. “How fast can you get me cleared and into your office? And does your door have a lock on it?”

  “I don’t have an office anymore. I just gave notice.”

  She stilled. “What?”

  “I’m moving back to Wildstone.”

  Their audience cheered.

  “There’s more,” he told Maze, who was standing there looking at him like maybe he was better than Christmas morning. “I’m going to buy the Whiskey River. We can run it together, or if that doesn’t work for you, we can put these guys in charge and live wherever you want.”

  “But . . . you love your job. It’s your life. Your home.”

  “Yeah, I was wrong about that,” he said. “Turns out, home’s not a place, not for me. It’s you, Maze. You’re my home.”

  Epilogue

  Cat’s maid of honor to-do list:

  —Keep any Elvis impersonator away from the ceremony.

  Maze stood in the hotel suite staring at her reflection. For a woman who’d spent most of her life trying to shove all her emotions in a box with a lock and no key, she had no words. Because that box was open and every feeling had escaped. Excitement. Happiness. Giddiness.

  Love.

  And not a single drop of fear.

  She was in a simple white silk sheath dress with spaghetti straps that showed off the tan she’d gotten over the past week
in Hawaii. Her makeup was as usual minimal, her hair long and loose so that the wild waves were doing their thing. She looked like herself, which was important to her, but there was something very new. The happy. “Wow,” she whispered at her reflection.

  Caitlin’s and Heather’s faces popped in on either side of her, grinning. “Right?” Heather said.

  “I’ve never seen you look more yourself,” Cat said softly, “if that makes sense.”

  Maze turned to face them and wrapped her arms around them both. “Thanks for being here with me.”

  “Are you kidding?” Cat asked with a laugh. “Where else would we be except with you on a day like this?”

  “It’s not too soon for you?” Maze asked quietly, very serious. It’d only been six months since Cat and Dillon had gone their separate ways. They’d talked a few times, had considered going back to dating each other, but had ultimately decided that was a bad idea. Cat had just recently stuck a toe into the dating pool, but was still happier on her own for the time being. That didn’t mean that Maze wanted to shove her and Walker’s happiness down her throat.

  Cat grabbed Maze’s face and gave her a smacking kiss right on the lips, leaving some of her red gloss on Maze. “Honey, it’s not a day too soon for me to see two of my favorite people finding each other in love. And now you have the perfect amount of color on your lips to go get married.”

  “They’re already married,” Heather reminded her. “It’s a renewal of their vows. Sober this time.” She laughed.

  A knock came at the door and Maze’s stomach curled, but it was a pleasant sensation that warmed her from roots to toes.

  Heather opened the door to Jace.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  “So ready,” Heather said, and jumped into his arms, wrapping her arms and legs around him.

  Laughing, he easily held on to her. “I hear you, and we’re most definitely next. But Maze first.”

  With her heart in her throat and sweet butterflies in her belly, Maze walked out of her hotel suite’s sliding glass door, the people she loved following as she headed down to the private beach Walker had booked for them.

  Walker stood waiting for her beneath a wood arch wrapped in wildflowers, the light wind ruffling his hair, face tanned, eyes crinkled with love and acceptance and good humor. As she stood there ready to walk to him, the “step, pause, step, pause” decree suddenly came into her head, making her laugh.