Anyone But Nick

by Bloom, Penelope

  “Somehow, I knew,” Nick said.

  “Whoa,” the man said. I immediately knew the voice. Cade. But I had no idea how he would’ve found his way here. “Is that a boner? You watching that cheap hotel porn again, or were you j—”

  “Would you get your eyes off my dick, please?”

  “I’d love to, but your dick is kind of demanding attention right now. I feel like it’s reaching out to me, like it wants me to—”

  “Why are you here?”

  “I was checking on you and that griefcase you like to carry around.”

  “What?”

  “Emotional baggage. Your griefcase. Don’t look at me like I’m crazy either. You know whoever decided to call it emotional baggage was missing a major opportunity.”

  “I don’t have emotional baggage.”

  “No? What about Miranda? I’d say the way you pine after her but keep denying yourself qualifies. You know she wants it as badly as you do. All you’d need to do is extend the olive branch.” Cade paused. “Well, or you could extend that. Either one would probably get the message across.”

  “Could you stop looking at it?”

  “I’m just impressed that it is still full mast. I mean, I’m starting to wonder if it’s me that arouses you. The thing is like a bloodhound that has the scent.”

  “Trust me, it has nothing to do with you.”

  Cade was quiet for a few seconds, then I saw his feet approaching the bed.

  “What are you doing?” Nick asked.

  “I didn’t make it where I am in life by being an idiot, Nick. Boners don’t just make themselves, and they don’t stick around that long unless . . .”

  I was suddenly staring face-to-face with Cade, who had flopped down on his stomach beside the bed. “As I suspected. Ladies, gentlemen, and erection—we have the source of the arousal right here. Did anyone tell you it’s much comfier to sleep on top of the bed, Miranda?”

  I awkwardly wiggled out from under the bed and stood up. “This isn’t what it looks like at all,” I said.

  “Classic.” Cade was smiling between the two of us like a proud teacher. “Let me give you whippersnappers a piece of universal advice. When something isn’t what it looks like, that just means the people involved don’t understand what it actually is. Things always look like what they are. And this,” he said, motioning to the clearly visible bulge in Nick’s pants, “looks like two consenting adults who were getting ready to fulfill their biblical duty.”

  I tried to avert my eyes from Nick’s pants, but I felt a devious little tug of temptation that made me want to look again. It was flattering to know a few kisses had him that excited, but it was also confusing. “Nick is my boss,” I said.

  “Hey.” Cade held up his palms. “I’m not here to judge you two on your kinks. Nick can be your kitty cat, for all I care. All I’m saying is you two lovebirds don’t need to hide it from me. Think of me like your big brother, too, Miranda. I mean, I guess I will be once you two make this whole thing official, right?”

  Nick put his hands on Cade’s arm and started pushing him to the door. “Why don’t you get back on your helicopter and go spend some time with your family instead of creeping around our business trip.”

  “Hey, if I knew business trips were just sex-fueled kink parties, I wouldn’t have been avoiding them for so long. But Iris and Bear are here, actually. I flew them in last night. We’re going to play some croquet once I’m done here. I don’t know the rules, but how hard can it be, right? Well, probably not as hard as that, at least.” He nodded to Nick’s erection again.

  “Can you just—” Nick started.

  “Say no more.” Cade stepped out of the door, then popped his head in one more time. “Oh, and don’t use protection. I want nieces and nephews.” He winked, then left.

  “I should get back to my cabin,” I said.

  Nick looked like he was about to say something, but then he nodded. “Yeah, sure. Should we—”

  “Later,” I said. “We can talk about it later. I just need a little space to think this all through.”

  “Hey,” Nick said, touching my arm before I reached the door. “You sure you want to go?”

  “We’ll talk later,” I said. I practically ran out the door. I felt suffocated, but not in an entirely unpleasant way. The frightening thing was how badly I seemed to want to embrace that lack of oxygen—to let myself drift away to wherever he wanted to take me.

  As soon as I stepped outside, I knew it wouldn’t be that simple. I remembered how Cade said Iris was here, and I decided I needed a serious dose of girl talk.

  I found Iris after a quick exchange of texts. She met me beside the indoor pool. The echoey room smelled like chlorine, and a pair of men were swimming around the shallow end with a big German shepherd. I found the splashing sounds and smells oddly nostalgic. Something about that smell specific to indoor public pools reminded me of late nights at motels on family vacations as a kid. It was like I could close my eyes and go back to simpler times, except I wasn’t sure I would’ve traded simple for where I was anymore.

  Things had become almost unbearably complicated, but I was starting to sense that if I could find my way through the tangle of choices ahead, happiness was waiting for me.

  Iris and I took up two lounge chairs. She sank back comfortably into hers, but I perched on the end of mine, legs vibrating on their own.

  “You look like a drug addict jonesing for your next fix, by the way,” Iris said.

  “The hardest drug I’ve ever done were the painkillers they gave me after my tonsils got taken out. So, no. Guess again.”

  “I don’t need to guess.” Iris rolled her head to look at me with an obnoxious little smirk. “Cade told me about the boner.”

  I rolled my eyes. “We just kissed, and it was only for, like, a minute. Maybe.”

  “Who kissed who?”

  “I kind of started it, technically. He was talking circles around it, and I just kind of . . . went for the kill.”

  She reached out her fist toward me and waited.

  “I’m not going to fist-bump you over this,” I said.

  “Suit yourself. Still though. Nice.”

  I laughed, shaking my head. “Not really. I kissed my boss and managed to turn an already complicated situation nuclear.”

  “Hardly. The whole no dating your boss thing is really only a big deal when your boss is way above you on the company ladder. If you and Nick were on a company ladder, your nose would practically be in his ass—which you’d love, I’m sure.”

  “I don’t follow.”

  “It’s not weird when you two are practically in the same position. I mean, think about it. It’s weird if you’re his secretary, because then he could promote you like twenty times before you’re right beneath him—pun intended. But if you’re his VP, it’s not like he’s going to just step down and give you his job because you’re greasing his pole.”

  “Ew,” I said.

  “So,” she continued, “if he did decide to give you his job, he wouldn’t be your boss anymore. If he doesn’t, then he’s not playing favorites. Get it? It’s a win-win situation. He literally can’t abuse his position because of his feelings for you.”

  “In a stupid kind of way, I guess that does make sense. I mean, assuming I ignore the fact that everybody I’ve ever known would think I only got the job in the first place because we were already together, but just hiding it. And then they’d wonder about every job and promotion I’ve landed in the past.”

  “That would be their opinion, and opinions are like assholes, anyway.”

  “Everyone has one, and most of them stink?” I asked.

  “What? No. And what kind of person goes around sniffing assholes? I was going to say everybody acts like they’re so great, but if you look at them up close, they’re usually all gross and puckered little gremlin holes.”

  I stared at her. “I don’t even want to acknowledge that with a response.”

  “I’m just
saying that you’d be shocked by how good it feels to stop giving a shit what people say about you. Maybe do what you want for once instead of what people think you should want.”

  I sighed. “It’s not that easy.”

  “You’re right. I can only imagine what I’d do if Larry the goat farmer thought I had slept my way to the top in my career. Or God forbid Mary Stevens, the world’s foremost expert on daytime-television game shows, thinks you’ve been too promiscuous. How would you even go on living without their approval?”

  “West Valley is home. How am I supposed to just say, ‘Screw it—I don’t care what everybody I’ve ever known thinks about me’?”

  “You find something you care about more than their opinions, I guess.”

  I nodded. “Maybe you’re right. For once.”

  “Good. So now you can stop fighting your primal instincts and go jump his bones.”

  “Not exactly. Even if I wipe away the whole boss thing, I’ve still got issues.”

  “Yeah, no kidding.”

  I glared. “I mean with the idea of dating Nick.”

  “Right. And those issues are?”

  “I don’t know . . . the oath? That I found out he didn’t ask Kira out because he was an idiot seven years ago. It was only because, well—” I cleared my throat. I’d never told Iris or Kira about the poem, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to go down that path. The poem itself was riddled with horrible teenage clichés and sappy language. Iris and Kira would have enough material to make fun of me until we were wheelchair bound if they ever got their hands on it.

  “Because . . . ,” Iris said.

  “I recently learned that the whole reason I hated him all this time was based on a misunderstanding. And even though I know that now, it’s hard to rewire my brain. I still have these conflicting feelings when I’m around him. Like part of me just wants to enjoy the moment, and the other part can’t stop feeling ashamed for wanting that.”

  Iris worked her lips to the side thoughtfully. She could be a complete goofball and seem like she didn’t have a serious bone in her body, but I could tell she was finally giving this legitimate consideration. “Okay,” she said finally. “Why do you feel ashamed?”

  “Because, I don’t know . . .” I sighed. “Maybe I know it would distract me from my work? I’ve spent my whole life trying to succeed, so the idea of putting that on the back burner, even for a little while—it’s just scary.”

  “And does success have to mean advancement in your career? Look, I get that you and I are totally different animals, but I thought I wanted to prove something to my dad for the longest time. I wanted to show him that I could still be a real cop, even in a little town like this. I wanted that from such a young age that it started just being a given that I never questioned. Then Cade came along, and I finally questioned it. Turns out it didn’t hold up when I looked closer. I didn’t care about that anymore, and all it had been doing was sitting in the background, shitting on everything that would’ve made me happy. It sounds like you’ve got to take a look at yourself and ask what you really want. What’s important.”

  I nodded. “That actually makes sense. Thank you.”

  “Actually makes sense? You say that like I don’t normally.”

  “I mean, no. Normally, you don’t.”

  She laughed. “It doesn’t take a blind person to see what’s going on here. I’m just stating the obvious.”

  “It doesn’t take a—” I put the back of my hand to my mouth to cover my smile. “I feel like that’s offensive, and it doesn’t even make sense.”

  “All I’m trying to say is that sometimes your friends know you better than you know yourself. And as your friend, I think you should stop worrying so much about it. Just act like a normal adult and go on a date with the man.”

  “He hasn’t asked me on a date yet.”

  “Yet. Maybe he just needs to see a little more confidence from you. Send some signals. Think of it like this. You and Nick are a pair of walkie-talkies, but every message you send to him is coming out all garbled and distorted because he’s an idiot.”

  “He’s not an idiot,” I said.

  Iris held up her finger. “When it comes to this, he is. So what do you do when the walkie-talkie messages aren’t getting through to him? You throw your walkie-talkie at his head. Send him a message he can’t misinterpret.”

  “What message is throwing a walkie-talkie at his head supposed to send?”

  “It’s called a metaphor, Miranda. You’re not supposed to take it literally. Jesus.”

  Chapter 16

  NICK

  I asked Miranda to meet me that evening in the Scarlet Lounge, which was an aptly named room in the lower level of the main hotel grounds. The walls were patterned with dark wood paneling and red satin accents. There were also several small dogs napping while a group of employees chatted at a large table in the corner over drinks.

  I’d put on my favorite suit for the meeting. There was a buzzing need in my bones that I couldn’t ignore anymore. Finding out the poem had been from her was an open door to an entirely new set of thrilling possibilities, and I had no interest in letting the opportunity pass me by.

  Making up my mind to pursue Miranda again brought a new set of challenges. Chief of which was the fact that I still respected her drive to have a successful career. Yes, I had been dreaming about the indescribable taste of her mouth all day, but I also had to be careful how I went about this.

  I knew the way she dressed would be my first real indication of what she was thinking. A conservative outfit probably meant she was trying to reestablish the boundary we’d kissed our way through.

  I saw her legs first as she came down the stairs to the lounge. They were long, but seeing them come down one step at a time had a seductive, almost hypnotic effect on me. First, there was a black shoe. Then the tanned skin of her leg, followed by another. I could feel my stomach in my throat while I watched more and more leg before finally seeing the hem of her white dress. Midthigh, maybe a little longer, I noted. It was right between conservative and seductive.

  She paused at the bottom of the stairs and looked my way. I couldn’t help thinking how badly I wanted to pull her into me and whisper something dark and possessive in her ear—to tell her if she so much as thought about seeing Max again, I’d bend her over my lap and remind her who her boss was.

  I could’ve laughed at myself. If she only knew what perverted thoughts were running through my head, she would run.

  “If the goal was to wear something I’d want to take off, you succeeded,” I said.

  Miranda’s eyes bulged. “What? Is it that bad?”

  I laughed. “No, as in—you know what, never mind. I shouldn’t have even said that.”

  She looked down at her feet as her cheeks went red. “Yeah, well, it’s not like you could get it off without a pair of scissors, anyway. I think I broke the zipper when I was putting this thing on.”

  “Let me see,” I said.

  “The zipper?” she asked.

  I motioned for her to turn around. The zipper was at her waist, just above the roundness of her ass. I put one hand on her hip and gave the zipper a little tug with the other. It resisted. “Oh damn. It really is stuck pretty good.”

  “Nick, I think this probably looks—”

  I tugged again, and the zipper jerked down about three inches. Miranda jumped and quickly reached back to zip it up.

  When she turned to look at me with bulging, surprised eyes, I had to cover my mouth to stop from laughing.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “But, hey, at least you won’t have to ruin a good dress to get it off now. Right?”

  She looked around to make sure nobody had seen and then sat down next to me. “So is that how it works with you, Nicholas? One kiss and suddenly you think you can go stripping off my clothes in public?”

  I chewed my lip, grinning. “No, but if you keep calling me Nicholas like that? I can’t promise that’s not how it’s going to work
.”

  “In all seriousness, I kind of need to know where we go from here. I don’t really do improvisation very well.”

  “You want me to draw up an agenda for you? Maybe a four-phase plan? Phase one, you aggressively maul me on the bed this morning. Phase two, I return the favor the first chance I get. Phase thr—”

  “Not like that,” she said, shaking her head. “What has gotten into you, anyway?”

  “I’m done lying to myself. That’s what. No more running from you. No more convincing myself it’d be better for you if I acted like I wasn’t interested. No more excuses.”

  She frowned as she studied my face. “There’s a big difference between what feels good and what is good. I know Bark Bites is just the next business in a long line of businesses you’ve turned around, so maybe it’s not that important to you. But to me, this is all I have right now. It matters to me, okay? I mean, how am I supposed to live with myself if I throw away my career because I’m attracted to you?”

  “So you are attracted to me,” I said with a smirk.

  She glared. “Of course I’m attracted to you. You look like Batman with a side of Clark Kent.”

  “Wait, with or without the mask?”

  She finally cracked a smile. “Without the mask. I just forgot the guy’s name. The one who is actually Batman.”

  “Bruce Wayne?”

  “Yeah. Being attracted to you or not isn’t the point, though.”

  “I know,” I said. As much as I wanted to talk about something else, I couldn’t ignore the facts. “And I get it. Being with me would call into question everything you’ve ever accomplished in your career, and maybe everything in the future too.”

  “Yeah,” she said slowly. “And it’s not only about what everyone else would think. How could I not start to wonder if I really earned this job, or if you just gave it to me?”

  “Hey,” I said, taking her hand. “I planned to tell you to get lost when you walked into that interview. Seriously. But when you started talking, I realized you have the reputation you do for a reason. And I was right. When I haven’t been distracting you, all the work you’ve done already is top notch. You deserve this job, okay? The way I feel about you has nothing to do with that.”