Anyone But Nick

by Bloom, Penelope

  I smirked. I still wasn’t used to hearing her call me her fiancé. A little jolt of excitement spiked through me every time I heard that, and every time I glanced down at the engagement band on her finger.

  “Hey, nerds,” Cade said. He was standing at the computer dressed like he was in a biker gang from the eighties. There had apparently been a miscommunication about the dress code, he claimed. When he turned to look at us, I couldn’t help laughing. He had on a fake, thick black mustache, sunglasses, and a red headband. He had also ripped the sleeves off a leather jacket and wore pants so tight I didn’t really want to look below his waist. “You two gonna pick a name, or am I gonna have to pick it for you?”

  “What’s with the accent?” I asked.

  He made a dismissive sound and typed our team name into the computer. Balls of Fury.

  “I figured I’d go easy on you guys. I did win fifty dollars from Iris when you got together, so I probably owe you.”

  “He’s not kidding,” Iris said. “I tried telling him there was no way in hell our Miranda would ever go back on the oath she tried so hard to bang over our heads when Kira and I were thinking of breaking it. It was just sooo important until it was her turn.”

  “Okay,” Miranda said. “For the record, it stopped being an oath when you two broke it. And my King brother didn’t actually do anything bad to deserve it. If he hadn’t thought Kira signed that poem, I never would’ve wanted to swear the stupid thing in the first place.”

  Kira ducked her head. “Awkward,” she whispered.

  “Sorry,” Miranda muttered. “I’m just saying that me falling for Nick was probably the most forgivable sin here. I waited the longest too.”

  “It’s not a competition, Miranda,” Iris said. “But if it was, I’d win because I at least arrested my King brother first.”

  Cade nodded wisely. “She wouldn’t even frisk me properly. The woman was made out of restraint. I think if I hadn’t had a kid up my sleeve, I would’ve been doomed.”

  “Speaking of your kid, where is he, exactly?” I asked.

  “Taking advantage of the free day care, thank you very much.”

  Rich cleared his throat. “Kira tried pretty hard to throw me off too.”

  “Gee, thanks, Rich,” she said with a sideways smile. “You make me sound really tough.”

  He shrugged. “I knew you wanted me from the get-go. I just had to be patient enough for you to admit it to yourself.”

  “Liar,” Kira said, laughing.

  After a few minutes, Cade, Rich, Kira, and Iris were all laughing about something that happened at a King family barbecue a few weeks back.

  Miranda leaned her head into my shoulder and smiled. “I really am happy.”

  “Because you’re winning?” I asked.

  “There’s that. Yes. But I’m happy I got you. And you’re the first guy I’ve ever been with who encourages my ambition. You don’t get intimidated or weird about it. I really appreciate that.”

  I kissed the top of her head. “As long as your ambitions also include a side of wanting to get into my pants, I’ll always be there to help push you along.”

  She laughed. “I was thinking it would be easier to take them off instead of trying to fit inside them.”

  “You’re the boss.”

  She didn’t answer right away, but when she did, her tone was slow and thoughtful. “I am, and I finally found something that matters to me more than that.”

  “Chili cheese fries?” Cade asked. He picked one out of her tray and popped it into his mouth. “You should really free both your hands before you give sappy speeches. I mean, wouldn’t setting that tray down kind of kill the mood before you go in for a romantic kiss?”

  I thrust the tray into his chest, and he happily took it.

  “Hey, weird question,” I said suddenly.

  “Is it about snails?”

  I grinned. “No. It’s just that you said you never understood people who had kids before they got what they wanted out of their careers. So now that you seem to have done the whole career thing . . .”

  She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, eyes darting across my face like she was waiting for a punch line. “If you don’t mean what I think you mean, I will literally murder you. I won’t even wait until you’re asleep. I’ll make sure it’s painful and messy.”

  “I mean it all. But you can bet I’d haunt your ass. And you can also bet I’d be a perverted ghost.”

  She grinned. “A baby?”

  “Sure, we could start with just one if that’s what you wanted.”

  She laughed, hopping up on my lap and hugging me tightly. I ran my hands through her hair, holding her like I was afraid she’d slip away if I didn’t squeeze her tight. I knew one thing. I’d never let her go. Not again. Not ever.

  Five Years Later

  Even if the view of West Valley had changed quite a bit since our high school days, Overlook Point was still the same. There were more stores and more houses in West Valley than there had been. If you squinted, you could even see the massive, glinting building Sion called headquarters past the trees outside town. But for all the ways it had grown and changed as we had, West Valley still felt like home.

  More and more, the time my brothers and I had spent out in California was starting to feel like a footnote. Everything that mattered had happened here.

  I’d met Miranda, let her slip away, found her again, and started a family. Every last one of those things had happened in this same scenic little valley.

  We’d come out here with my brothers, their wives, and their kids and brought enough fireworks, picnic blankets, food, and camping gear to keep us until morning. Cade and Iris had pumped out kids so fast over the past few years that I was almost certain they weren’t respecting the whole “no sex for six weeks” after pregnancy rule. The two of them had a small, terrifying little army of Cade and Iris clones now. God help the world if any of their kids were even half as wild as their parents.

  Rich found me looking out over the town and nudged me with his shoulder. We were all finally starting to age out of that near-stasis period in our twenties when it felt like time couldn’t touch us. The only signs that Rich had aged were the faint lines appearing at the corners of his eyes.

  “Deep in thought, like usual?” he asked.

  I grinned. “Just thinking how crazy it is that we all wound up back here. How we all got the girl in the end, you know?”

  “Yeah,” Rich said, nodding seriously. “It’s just too bad only one of us could get the best girl. But the early bird gets the worm, you know?”

  I punched his shoulder and grinned. “I’m going to give you a pass because you’ve got an infant, and you’re probably sleep deprived as hell.”

  “Hey,” he said, gripping my neck and giving a little squeeze. “It took Kira and I a long-ass time to get pregnant. A long-ass, enjoyable time, okay? So don’t sweat it. Just keep doing your husbandly duty, and it’ll come.”

  I chuckled. I hadn’t meant it to come out that way, but I could see how Rich would think I was bitter or resentful that he and Kira had managed to get pregnant. Miranda and I had been trying for four years now. I had to admit that trying to get her pregnant and failing easily qualified as one of the most enjoyable activities to fail I’d ever found, but it still stung. We were both so damn ready to have our own kid, but month after month, we were let down. It didn’t stop us from doing all the things we wanted and loving it, but every year that went by made me wonder more if it would ever happen for us.

  “Not all of us can be Cade, the sperm bank, I guess,” I said.

  Rich laughed. “No. I have to give him credit, though; he’s really taken well to fatherhood.”

  “In his own way, yeah. I walked in on him sitting with all the kids in a semicircle a couple weeks ago. He was basically giving a lecture on snails to them, and all the kids were enthralled. Even the infant.”

  “You’re right. Maybe he’s only taking so well to it because he like
s the idea of building a small army of Cadelings.”

  “Exactly what I was thinking.”

  “Look on the bright side. If you guys never manage to get pregnant, Cade will have so many extra kids that I’m sure he’ll be happy to lend you one whenever you want.”

  I groaned. “That’s exactly what we don’t need.”

  Rich patted me on the back and smiled before he headed back to where Kira was lying beside their newborn, Erik, who was currently asleep in his carrier.

  Something hot shot me in the ass, making me jump and grab my butt cheek. I turned to see Cade and Bear aiming two lit roman candles at me. I ducked for the nearest bush and hoped they would have enough brain cells between the two of them not to set it on fire.

  Once they were out of ammunition, I cautiously stepped out of the bush and raised my arms. “Are you two done?” I asked.

  Bear lobbed one of those little white exploding packets my way and made me flinch. He and his dad cracked up laughing at how scared I’d been, but I knew enough to fear Cade and his son, who was growing up to be unfortunately similar to his dad.

  Bear even looked like a small version of Cade. At ten years old, he’d apparently worked his way through most of what he called the “cream of the dating pool” at his school. He was also big for his age, which meant he enjoyed dominating all the team sports he had time for.

  “We saw you trying to brood over here and decided you could use a little fire in your ass,” Cade said.

  “I just don’t ask questions when Dad says I can aim fireworks at people, so . . . sorry, Uncle Nick.”

  “Don’t apologize,” Cade said. He put his arm around Bear’s neck and started leading him back to the tents. “Apologies are only for girls you really, really like. And even then, they are a last resort. You apologize when all the other tools in your tool belt won’t work, and if . . .”

  I couldn’t hear the rest of Cade’s undoubtedly bad advice as the two of them walked off.

  A few hours later, when all the kids had fallen asleep for the night, Miranda and I met our brothers and their wives at the edge of the hill overlooking town.

  Miranda gave my hand a little squeeze.

  Cade yawned. “What are we doing here, exactly? Snail hunting?”

  “No,” Rich said. “Why would any of us want to go hunting for snails?”

  Cade shrugged. “Because maybe you got your heads out of your asses and realized we could learn a lot from them? Miranda is pardoned from that, by the way. She’s the only one who really appreciates what our shell-backed friends have to offer.”

  Iris rolled her eyes.

  “Actually,” Kira said, “I wanted us to come out here so we could make one last oath.”

  “Oh, cool. This is like The Lord of the Rings now,” Cade said. He stuck his fist into the center of our little circle. “I’ll ride with the dwarves. I enjoy their humor and drinking songs.”

  “I’m being serious,” Kira said. “I want us all to make an oath.”

  “I oathe to never believe dinosaurs are real, no matter what Rich says,” Cade said.

  “Oath isn’t a verb, dumbass,” I said.

  “What is the verb form, then, Mr. Genius?” Cade asked.

  “Vow, maybe?” I said.

  “Okay, I changed my oath,” Cade said. “I vow to buy a big-ass dog, teach it to poop on command, and then take it to Bark Bites Resort and command it to poop in that big, stupid bone-shaped swimming pool for dogs.”

  I sighed. “I vow to make sure you and your dog never step foot in one of our resorts.”

  Iris raised her hand.

  “You don’t have to—” Kira said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I was kind of planning to tell you guys what the oath was, not ask everyone to just throw one out there.”

  “Well,” Iris said, ignoring Kira. “I vow to never lose the keys to the handcuffs again. Especially when Cade is tied to the bed.”

  Cade nodded his head sadly. “Good vow, Iris. Good vow.”

  “Rich?” Cade asked. “Do you have a vow for the class, or do we need to call home?”

  “I’m planning on letting Kira finish what she was going to say, unless Miranda had one.”

  “Actually,” Miranda said, “I did have one little oath. I vow to do everything in my power to make this little thing growing in my belly the happiest baby on the planet.”

  It took me a few seconds to realize what she’d said. Cade was already squatting down with his fist over his mouth when it dawned on me. I turned to face her. “You’re serious?”

  She nodded, biting her lip. “Serious,” she said.

  I picked her up and then promptly set her back down as carefully as I could. “Oh shit. I shouldn’t be picking you up like that if you’re pregnant.”

  She laughed. “I think it’s safe when it’s this early. I just found out two days ago. Since we were planning to meet here, I thought this would be the best place to tell you.”

  Iris and Kira leaned in to hug and congratulate us, and when they were done, Kira cleared her throat.

  “So,” Kira said. “Tonight, I wanted us all to swear just one oath. No matter what happens, I’ll never love anyone but Rich. And Erik,” she added with a little grin, then squeezed Rich’s hand.

  He smiled and bent down to kiss her.

  Cade took Iris’s hand and knelt in front of her. “Sorry, baby, but I’ve got to swear the oath. Kira’s orders.” He scooted over to kneel in front of Rich and tried to take Rich’s hands in his. “No matter what, I’ll never love anyone but Rich.”

  Kira groaned. “You’re supposed to modify it to fit the person you love, Cade.”

  Iris gave Cade a little whack on the back of his head. “No matter what, I’ll never love anyone but Cade and our little army. So help me God,” she added with a little sarcastic grin.

  Miranda reached out for my hands. “And no matter what, I’ll never love anyone but Nick. And our baby on the way.”

  “Not to be a downer,” Cade said, “but we all know how the last oath sworn up here went. Are we sure this is really the best symbolic gesture?”

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Penelope Bloom is a USA Today, Amazon, and Washington Post bestselling author whose books have been translated into seven languages. Her popular romances include His Banana, Her Cherry, Savage, and Punished.

  Her writing career started when she left her job as a high school teacher to pursue her dream. She loves taking her imagination for a spin and writing romances she’d want to live. She likes a man with a mind as dirty as sin and a heart of gold he keeps hidden away. Her favorite things include getting to wear socks all day—pants optional—and being a positive example for her girls. Showing her daughters that no dream is too big, no matter what anyone tells them, is worth all the late nights, doubts, and fears that come with being a writer.

  Stay connected! For giveaways, goodies, updates, and extras, join the mailing list: http://eepurl.com/chOOEX. Follow her on Facebook at PenelopeBloomRomance, and check out her website at www.penelope-bloom.com.