The Relic Box Set

by Ben Zackheim

  “You okay?” Scarlett asked. “What do you see?”

  “Yeah, looks like we’ve got some underground hiking to do.”

  I aimed the thin beam of light into the tunnel. I couldn’t see the end of it. It just faded into darkness.

  “It’s going to get tight down here. Only bring what you need,” I told them. “One firearm, secondary weapon and something you want with you when you die.”

  “Are you always this chipper?” Scarlett yelled down at me.

  “Only when I’m about to die. I’m headed in. Keep it down. We don’t want a cave-in.”

  I took a deep breath of fresh-ish air and slipped into the crack.

  I heard one of the team drop in behind me.

  We walked for ten minutes before we had to turn sideways. The tunnel was narrowing. I heard a sound from the darkness ahead. Like a bag of pebbles being shaken.

  “What’s that sound?” Scarlett said.

  “You said you hated snakes?” Skyler asked.

  “Yes!” she yelled.

  “Oh, good. Because that’s the sound of bats.”

  Scarlett tried to catch her breath, but she lost it again when the black ceiling filled with small dots of reflected light. Our flashlights caught the fluttering wings of hundreds of vampire bats above us.

  They were dropping down on us.

  And they were huge.

  “Get down!” Skyler yelled. Scarlett and I ducked as low as we could go and the old man lit up the cave with flame. It wasn’t magic. His cane’s tip had swung open and flame poured out.

  “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Skyler screamed. His battle cry wasn’t half bad, actually.

  The bats screeched and fluttered out of range frantically. A few of them caught fire and bounced off the walls like balls of flame. One beast got through the fire and attached itself to Scarlett’s wounded shoulder. Without a sound, she yanked it out of her flesh with a sickening wet sound and threw it into the wall.

  “Wow,” Skyler said, impressed with her savagery.

  “Let’s walk faster,” I added. “Keep your cane’s fire going, Skyler.”

  “Good idea.” He pointed the cane at the ceiling. Its low, blue flame was enough to keep us safe. For the moment.

  I don’t know how much time passed but at one point I saw a glimmer in the darkness ahead of us. The bats were following us, watching for a sign of weakness. Skyler shot off some cane-flame once in awhile to keep them back.

  My eyes adjusted and I could see that the distant light was coming from a very large cavern. I didn’t like the idea of walking in there without a plan.

  “What’s waiting in there for us, old man?” I asked. “Are you in the mood to tell the truth yet?”

  “I don’t know who will be there for certain, actually,” he said. “Whoever it is, they’ll know what to do. I can tell you that much. And I can tell you you’re about to see something unlike anything you’ve seen before.”

  The ceiling above us grew higher and higher until we emerged into a massive cavern.

  The best I could tell, the ceiling was about 300 feet up. Most of the space was shrouded in dim shadows cast by stalagmites and stalactites, but there was a large crack in the cave wall about 500 yards in the distance. The crack had light streaming from it, as bright as the sun. But it wasn’t sunlight. It also wasn’t electric, or flame. There was a dazzle to it, a life, that I couldn’t identify.

  “That is beautiful,” Skyler said. “Whatever it is.”

  “Why is the light moving like that?” Scarlett asked.

  “Magic,” I said. Maybe with a little bit of a bad attitude.

  Skyler walked past me. “You’re the only guy I know who can take the magic out of magic, Kane.”

  We worked our way down a shallow slope and headed toward the other end of the cavern. About ten steps in, we saw the symbols.

  “There are so many symbols on the stalactites,” Scarlett said with wonder in her voice.

  “Yeah, they’re familiar, too,” Skyler said.

  I couldn’t believe it. The scope of our mission just grew by a magnitude of a thousand. I tried to remember to breathe before I said, “It’s Nagas.”

  Skyler’s eyes went wide. “Holy crap, you’re right. HA!”

  Each symbol was the size of my fist. Hundreds of them flowed across dozens of the hanging rock formations. There was something else going on though. I couldn’t quite figure it out until I took a few steps back.

  With each step I saw the image take shape.

  “Guys, what’s going on?” Scarlett asked, her voice breaking.

  The symbols bunched together to form into one big fresco that looked a hell of a lot like a giant snake.

  Poor Scarlett.

  I shined my light straight up at the ceiling. It was covered in symbols, too. But these symbols bunched together to look like a looming human face — a face that was clearly displeased with our presence.

  “What’s wrong, Kane?” Scarlett asked. “What’s Nagas?”

  “A myth,” I said. I didn’t think it was a great idea to start telling her about snake people.

  “What kind of myth?” she asked. She wasn’t going to let it go. I didn’t blame her, but I also didn’t have any intention of going into detail. Skyler wasn’t saying anything either.

  But then a familiar voice rolled down the cave at us.

  “The myth of the snake people,” Cannon’s voice boomed.

  Chapter 44

  “Shut up, Cannon!” Skyler yelled. “And show yourself!”

  I couldn’t see him yet.

  “Snake people?” Scarlett asked. “For real?” The tremor in her voice made me cringe.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Skyler muttered. “They’re supposed to have human heads and bodies.”

  “Oh, that’s much better?” she said, with a touch of hysteria.

  “He’s right, Scarlett. We have bigger things to worry about. If it makes you feel better, Cannon will probably kill you before the snake people do.”

  “Good,” she said with no hint of sarcasm.

  “Come closer!” Cannon said. “You must be tired.” His low voice rolled down the cave like thunder.

  We walked forward. There was nothing else to be done. We were in the exact place we’d fought and died to get to. We had to keep going. I didn’t know what Cannon had up his sleeve, but it was our final destination. Somewhere around here was a safe place for Excalibur.

  We had to get past the son of a bitch’s trap and finish the job.

  As we drew closer, the cave began to light up with a slight purple glow. I couldn’t tell where it was coming from but I didn’t have time to look too closely.

  Cannon came into view on a cliff about twenty feet above us. He looked down like all tyrants do, refusing to bow his head.

  The purple glow lit him from below. Skyler was looking around nervously. He also wanted to know where the light was coming from.

  Scarlett, for her part, had pulled her pistol on Cannon already. Not the way I wanted to start the conversation, but I can’t say I didn’t agree with the sentiment.

  “Hello to you, too,” Cannon said, his charm button set to on. “Scarlett, right?”

  She didn’t answer. Her hand was as steady as mine. I could tell she knew how to shoot.

  Cannon could tell too. “You can put that down, Scarlett,” he said.

  She didn’t budge. She didn’t even blink. It was like time had taken a break all around her. If he wanted her to stand down then he’d have to knock her over. But Scarlett’s move set the stage. I knew where Cannon would have to focus first now. He’d have to handle her before he could pay attention to me.

  I hoped Scarlett knew that she could pay for the bold gesture with her life.

  I was going to do everything I could to make sure that didn’t happen, though.

  “You look like I feel!” Skyler yelled, trying to spread Cannon’s attention even further. “And I just peed my pants back there with the vampire bats, so I am
not fresh.”

  “Hello, old man,” Cannon said, familiarity in his voice.

  “Hey! Only Kandy Kane over here can call me that, fatso!” I closed my eyes for a second, trying to swallow my comeback. I couldn’t help it. I hated it when he called me Kandy Kane.

  “Welcome to the gates of Bhogavati,” Cannon said. “Not as majestic as you’d think, right? I was disappointed when I first saw it. They could at least have some lighting in here so our human eyes could enjoy the beauty of their art.”

  “Step aside, Cannon,” I said. Men like him can use every word against you so I kept it simple.

  “No.”

  “You aren’t getting the sword.”

  “I already have it.”

  For a second I worried that he’d found a way to steal it from my portal. I hadn’t reopened the portal since I’d stored it away. My fear grew as I stared him down. He could tell I was wondering what he meant.

  So, since there was no more need for talk, I pulled the Glock on him.

  A .025 second draw. Not bad. Not a record. And also not fast enough.

  I fired with 100% confidence. If I pull my gun in a situation where my teammates are in danger then I don’t talk. I shoot. Usually because there’s nothing else to say.

  But I missed.

  It was the first time I’d missed a shot since my first year of training. That may sound unlikely, but once you learn how to hit your target while Sklyer slaps your hands with a cane, and stabs your thigh with a pencil, and holds up photos in your face of him dancing naked… Well, let’s just say you won’t miss a big, fat target like Cannon.

  It took me a second to realize what had happened.

  Sometime just before I pulled the trigger the cave had lit up. The rounded walls and ceiling were suddenly covered in a bright purple flash. The art on the stalactites was illuminated, revealing art of such great beauty that I did kind of regret that this was probably my last moment alive.

  I wanted to look at it closer.

  I sensed there were answers in the small details.

  All of this happened within one second. But when you think you’re going to die, time has a way of dancing its own dance.

  “Nice shot,” Cannon said.

  Scarlett fired.

  A flash of purple passed in front of Cannon, snatching the bullet out of the sky and dropping it gently into Cannon’s outstretched hand.

  He took a whiff of it and smiled.

  “I love the smell of hot bullets.”

  He threw them into the air and that’s when we could see the ghosts clearly for the first time.

  At first they were clouds of purple smoke. But right in front of our eyes the smoke gathered density. After a few seconds we could see the outlines of humans hovering above us.

  They filled the room, lining the cavern ceiling in the shape of some really pissed off spirits. The faces are what I’ll remember forever. Every face was filled with rage. They all wanted us gone. A slow growl rose until it surrounded us. Scarlett covered her ears.

  But Skyler was set to fight. His palms lit up and his hands slowly filled with his favorite weapons. Balls of blue fire. Or Blue Balls as he liked to call them.

  “I told you he had ghosts!” Scarlett shouted at me.

  “Congratulations! You’re right. Now try to not die.”

  I got off a few more shots. So did Scarlett. The bullets went right through the ghosts. Skyler threw his Blue Balls at them. It made them scramble out of the way, so my guess was that they could be hurt by his spell.

  But how many times could he cast it before he ran out of steam?

  “STOP!” Cannon’s voice was louder than a thunderclap in your bathroom. My ears rang for a moment as the ghosts settled down, their faces fading into an expressionless mask.

  Cannon turned and gestured to someone in the shadows behind him. Cassidy and Rose, gagged and bound at the wrists, were escorted to his side by a couple of goons. One of them looked like a demon — scaly skin, red eyes and a smile that never went away. He glanced down at me and licked his lips with something similar to a tongue, though it looked more like a four-fingered hand.

  The other goon was a Lin. The Blues were suddenly showing up everywhere.

  “Give me the sword or the twins die,” Cannon said. Right to the point. He wasn’t in a mood to carry on a conversation.

  Good. Neither was I.

  “You’ll have to do better than that,” I said. The twins’ eyes went wide in surprise. I felt bad, but I also had to gain the upper hand somehow. “You could kill all of us a million times over if you had the sword, Cannon, so you can bite me. I’m not giving it up.”

  “Kane, I wouldn’t be inclined to kill you with the sword. In fact, I don’t plan on killing anyone with it.”

  “Yeah? Just going to put it on your wall?”

  “Yes.”

  “To use when you do want to kill us.”

  “You think too much of yourself. Once I have the sword I doubt I’ll ever see you again. I have other things to do than follow a two-bit adventurer who never gets what he wants.”

  “I got the sword,” I said.

  “That you did. And now I get to take it from you.”

  The ghosts swarmed down on us. Sklyer let them have it with a single Blue Ball. When the ghosts scrambled out of the way I fired at Cannon again. But the bullet was caught by one of his spirits again. They were just too fast.

  Scarlett was lifted up by a messy jumble of human shapes. Their faces lunged at her and then pulled back. She was screaming.

  It took me a moment to realize they were biting her.

  Her blood flowed from a dozen places.

  Skyler grunted. I think it was the most emotion I’d ever heard from him. His frustrated face was scrunched up in concentration as he was building the Blue Ball to end all Blue Balls. He was going to take out whoever and whatever was in the way. I think he liked Scarlett. I could tell he was going to give it his all to save her from that kind of death.

  With a scream, he released the fire. It rolled across the cave, bouncing like a large water-filled balloon, leaving parted ghosts in its wake. As far as I could tell they weren’t taking any damage yet, but they sure as hell were scared of it.

  The ball’s glow waned as it got closer to Scarlett and her toothy captors. But the spell was strong enough to force them to let her go. She collapsed on the stone floor with a sick thud and lay still.

  Skyler shrugged at me. I knew that look. He was telling me he’d given the fight everything. He had nothing left.

  And since I had nothing on hand to take out asshole ghosts, well, let’s just say I saw the end in sight.

  I ran to Scarlett’s body. She was alive, but badly injured. The cuts and gnashes were deep. Nasty fucking ghosts.

  “Have you reconsidered, Kane?” Cannon asked as I tried to tamp down the bleeding.

  When I took too long to answer him, Cannon swept his arms forward and the twins were lifted up into the air and placed above two sharp stalagmites.

  That would be a gruesome death.

  I didn’t say anything, which must have pissed him off. It was Skyler’s turn now. My ex-teacher was scooped up by the purple mist and lifted 50 feet above us.

  Skyler squirmed and spat all the way up.

  “Him, you can let go,” I said pointing to Skyler.

  “Funny!” Skyler yelled down at me.

  “Have you reconsidered?” Cannon asked again, clearly out of patience.

  I was about to say no when someone else said calmly from behind me, “No.”

  Fox stepped from the shadows as if he’d been part of them all along.

  Creepy vampires.

  Never know when they’re going to show up.

  Chapter 45

  I wanted to deck him, but I said, “Welcome to the party, fucker,” instead.

  Fox ignored me and gave our twin-napper a vampire glare. “Let them go, Cannon.” The undead creep placed a hand on my shoulder. “You know the wizard won’
t let you take it in the end.”

  “I’m not a wizard,” I mumbled.

  Cannon laughed straight from his whiskey-soaked gut. “Oh, I think he’s made it very clear what he’ll do. He doesn’t give a crap about our little spats. You know that.”

  “I also know him,” Fox said. His confidence dropped a silence on the room. Suddenly, it felt like the winds of this little dispute changed.

  Cannon hesitated.

  He was nervous.

  Maybe I should have let the silence linger. I like doing that. It makes people uncomfortable. I like making people I don’t like uncomfortable. But I couldn’t control myself. “What the fuck are you two talking about?”

  “Merlin!” Skyler yelled, floating above me. He was kicking back now, supported by the ghosts. His hands wrapped behind his head as if the spirits were his La-Z Boy.

  “Excuse me?” I asked, shooting him a look.

  “Merlin. That’s who we’re talking about,” Cannon said slowly, as if he wanted to be sure my slow brain could process his words.

  “The wizard Merlin,” I said, not believing what I was hearing.

  “No, not that Merlin,” Skyler said. “The other Merlin.”

  “What other Merlin?” I asked.

  “Exactly, you idiot! What other Merlin is there? For fuck’s…”

  “All right, all right,” I yelled back.

  “He’s waiting for us,” Fox said as he pointed to the crack in the wall where the mysterious light shone. “He’s probably practicing a dramatic speech.”

  I slid my Pico from my belt and palmed it as I crossed my arms. I didn’t know what I’d do with the pistol, but I knew I’d find a use for it soon. “So you’re telling me that the wizard Merlin is real and waiting to see who wins in here?”

  “Yes,” Fox said.

  “And you’re telling me that Merlin’s the guy who’s going to keep the sword safe.”

  “Yup,” Skyler said.

  “And you decided now would be a good time to let me know about this?” I screamed at Skyler.

  “Gentlemen, we don’t have…” Cannon started.