The Morning After the Wedding Before

by Laura Ziepe

  ‘What exactly happened between you two last night anyway?’ Emma asked, grinning.

  Holly flapped her hand dismissively, feeling her face growing hotter. ‘It was nothing, honestly. Nothing at all.’ She didn’t want to admit how much she liked him already. Holly had always kept her cards close to her chest where men were concerned. She hardly knew Max and she didn’t even know if he liked her back yet. He may go around kissing everyone for all she knew. She remembered once at her school prom when she told everyone she really liked a boy called Matt Renshaw. She’d been spending quite a bit of time with him, and he’d hinted a few times he liked her as more than a friend. Everyone had teased her about it for ages, but Holly had never admitted it, too afraid of rejection. All girl friends got so excited when one night she finally said she did have feelings for him, trying to persuade her to go over to him to chat. When Holly finally gathered the courage to walk over to him, Matt started kissing a girl called Sarah Bentley. There had been tongues and everything and Holly had felt humiliated as she gazed at her friends’ pitying glances. She’d left it too late. Matt had got bored of waiting for her and was moving on. She’d have much preferred to never have said she liked him in the first place. That way, no-one would have been any the wiser over how sad she’d felt about the whole thing. For months Holly felt embarrassed every time she spotted Matt and Sarah together. The last she heard, Matt was still with Sarah and they had two little boys together so it all worked out for the best in the end.

  Charlie walked over with their drinks and Emma poured them out their cocktails. Holly noticed that Kim introduced herself straight away, taking a cocktail without even questioning where her Diet Coke was, much to Holly’s surprise. Then she noticed Kim put away her sun hat and take her shorts off, looking round at what everyone else was wearing.

  ‘I kind of wish I’d made a bit more effort with my swimwear now,’ Holly heard Kim say to Emma. ‘I’ve had this costume for years. I really should have gone shopping before coming here.’

  Emma shook her head dismissively. ‘You look great. I hope I look as good as you after two children,’ she said sweetly. ‘Besides, there’s tons of shops in Vegas if you want to go shopping.’

  ‘That would be great – maybe we could go after the flowers or something?’ Kim said hopefully. ‘I may just go and freshen up a bit in the ladies’,’ she told her. She glanced in Holly’s direction. ‘Need to go?’

  ‘No, I’m okay,’ Holly replied.

  Kim seemed to be more up for it now since the others had arrived and Holly was glad.

  Max and Callum walked over to where they were standing.

  ‘Hey,’ Max said in a friendly voice. ‘What’s everyone drinking?’

  Charlie signalled to the table of drinks. ‘Beers are here mate,’ he pointed out, ‘just join the whip and help yourself.’

  ‘Cheers,’ Max replied, peeling off his white t-shirt to reveal the most stunning body Holly had ever seen. He was muscular, but not too big, with several tattoos on his chest and a sleeve tattoo on his right arm. Holly wasn’t really into guys with huge muscles like some personal trainers, so the fact he had just the right amount made him even more perfect. If someone asked her to draw her dream man, she’d be drawing Max. His skin was bronzed already, smooth and flawless. She felt her heart skip a beat when he looked in her direction with a smoldering gaze.

  ‘Hi Holly,’ he smiled, leaning over and kissing her cheek. She could see his eyes roaming up and down her body through his sunglasses. ‘How you feeling this morning?’ he asked.

  He was so confident and charming, and without a doubt the most handsome man she’d ever kissed. Holly wasn’t shallow and she knew looks weren’t everything, but she couldn’t recall a time she’d been so drawn to someone. She couldn’t recall ever fantasizing about someone the way she had done the past morning about Max. She’d found Rob attractive when they first met, but it was his personality that had made him more appealing the longer they’d dated. With Max, she could just stare at him all day. He was literally her type to a ‘T’, and so far, he seemed to have the personality to match.

  ‘Hey,’ Callum smiled in her direction and Holly couldn’t help but notice he was in amazing shape too. Being a gym owner, she guessed it was part and parcel of the job to look good. He literally had no excuse not to go. She felt slightly guilty looking at their sculpted bodies. She hadn’t gone to the gym in years. Firstly she didn’t have time having the children and secondly, even if she did, she knew she wouldn’t pick the gym over shopping and getting a manicure. It just wasn’t a priority of hers at all, but with Max being a personal trainer, she was starting to think about taking more of an interest. Then again, she wasn’t ever going to be a tiny size six parading around in a bikini and she was okay with that. Bikinis were now out of the window; her two children had seen to that. Being a size ten/twelve, Holly wasn’t exactly big in any way, but her skin was a bit crinkled on her lower stomach and she had a few silver stretch marks, something she tried to view in a positive light. They were marks to show she’d made it through childbirth and was lucky enough to have delivered two healthy, beautiful babies; Marks she was proud of, but not quite brave enough to show to the world.

  Max sat next to Holly on the sun lounger. ‘Wow, it’s hot today,’ he said, running his fingers through his hair.

  She could smell his aftershave as he lifted his arm – a mixture of earthy patchouli and rosewood. ‘You’re not wrong there,’ Holly replied, leaning back, closing her eyes and putting her face into the sunlight. ‘Heatwave at home and now we’re here. I don’t think I can remember a hotter summer.’

  He half smiled. ‘Fancy taking your drink into the pool? I think I need to cool down.’

  Holly didn’t need to be asked twice and she followed him, watching the other admiring glances from females as they walked past. They were looking at Holly as though she was lucky, and at that point in time she honestly felt it. Being with someone like Max made her feel special. There was just something about him and the way he looked at her that made Holly feel important.

  They sat on the edge of the pool and Max put his arm round her. Her skin tingled and she felt herself weaken at his touch. She needed to get a grip, she told herself sternly. She hardly knew him.

  ‘Last night was fun,’ he smirked, as he glanced around at the other people in the pool, which was becoming more crowded by the second. The music was even louder now too.

  ‘Yes, I had such a good night,’ Holly told him.

  ‘Do you go out much at home?’ Max asked, cocking his head to the side.

  Holly shook her head. ‘Not any more. I have two children,’ she explained. She wanted him to know this sooner rather than later. If Max had an issue with it, then it was never going to work out anyway. The quicker Holly knew this, the better. ‘I don’t get the chance to get out as much as I used to.’

  ‘So are you still with the father of your children?’ Max asked cautiously. His brow furrowed and he looked a little worried and surprised.

  ‘No, no.’ Holly couldn’t reply quick enough to put him at ease. She may not have been happy with Rob, but she certainly wasn’t the type to cheat. ‘Rob and I split up about eight months ago. He has a new girlfriend now. He told me just before I came out here. We’re still friends.’

  Max nodded. ‘Glad to hear it,’ he said, an unreadable expression on his face.

  ‘I love kids,’ Max added, ‘can’t wait to have my own one day.’

  Holly knew this was his way of saying he wasn’t put off by the fact she was a mum and she felt herself relax.

  ‘Hi!’ Holly heard Kim’s merry tones behind her. She turned round in surprise to see Kim emerge from the crowd, having glammed herself up in the ladies. She was even wearing lip-gloss now and her blonde hair, which had been up in a messy bun, was now cascading down her shoulders. She sat next to Max and put her hand out. ‘Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Kim.’ She shot him her biggest smile. ‘So nice to meet you.’


  ‘Ah yes, I’ve heard about you. You made it out today then?’ he asked, splashing his legs about in the pool.

  ‘Yes, I’m fresh and ready for the day. The sleep did me the world of good,’ Kim replied, shooting him another bright smile. ‘So I hear we were supposed to go on a date years ago?’ She giggled, raising one eyebrow.

  ‘Indeed we were,’ Max replied. ‘I think you blew me out though,’ he smiled, looking more handsome than ever.

  ‘I’m sure you were heartbroken,’ Kim responded, laughing gaily.

  ‘Shall I get some more drinks?’ Holly offered, standing up to get out the pool.

  ‘Go on then,’ Kim grinned, downing the last bit of her cocktail and handing Holly the glass.

  Emma was in deep conversation with Frankie when Holly walked back over to their sun beds.

  ‘Sorry,’ Holly apologized, as she walked past and leant over to pick up the cocktail jug.

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ Emma replied. ‘Frankie was just telling me their stag do plans tonight. He’s promised me he’ll look after Charlie,’ she laughed good-naturedly. ‘Charlie has a bit of a habit of getting a bit too drunk.’

  ‘Understatement of the year,’ Frankie grinned. ‘Do you remember that time we had to find him when he’d fallen asleep outside at Helen’s wedding?’

  Emma laughed vigorously with Frankie. ‘That was so funny. I’d forgotten about that.’

  ‘I see you’ve been with Max again,’ Emma said to Holly, with a suggestive glint in her eye.

  Holly blushed. ‘Yes. He’s a nice guy,’ she said in a non-committal tone.

  ‘Where is he now?’ Emma turned round and noticed him in the pool. ‘Oh yes, he’s over there with Kim.’

  ‘Let’s get a photo,’ Holly suggested, taking her phone out of her bag. She usually forgot to take pictures on holidays and nights out and relied on other people to take them. She took a selfie of them together and then Holly flicked through her Facebook newsfeed because she had a notification.

  ‘Right, we’d best leave in about fifteen minutes and then perhaps we’ll go shopping quickly afterwards,’ Emma explained, going on to tell Holly the plans for her hen do that evening. ‘Holly, are you even listening to me?’

  Holly shook her head as though she was in a daydream. ‘Yes, yes. You were talking about tonight,’ she said, her eyes flicking back to her phone. Rob had added some new images of himself and Nikki and Holly couldn’t help but flick through them nosily. There was one photo of them both laughing and it reminded Holly that she hadn’t seen Rob look so happy in a very long time. Had they once laughed like that? They certainly hadn’t at the end of their relationship. It had been constant huffing and eye-rolling. Was it possible to be happy for someone but also feel a stab of envy? She noticed Rob’s mother, Judy, comment underneath the photo.

  Lovely couple, it read.

  Holly swallowed hard, feeling a pang of betrayal towards Judy. She’d always got on well with her, but wasn’t liking the feeling of being replaced so easily. Didn’t they realize it wasn’t easy for her to see things like this?

  ‘Are you okay? You seem to be in another world,’ Emma asked caringly.

  ‘No, I’m fine, honestly.’ Holly attempted a light laugh. She did her best to listen to the rest of what Emma was saying, but the truth was Holly felt a bit empty inside. We weren’t right together, Holly reminded herself over and over as Emma continued to chat away. She had been the one who had made the decision that they should go their separate ways. Despite wanting a perfect family for her children, she knew it couldn’t go on as it was, so why did it all feel so final now Rob had moved on? She didn’t want to find this difficult. She’d been adamant that she and Rob would remain friends on social media as well as in real life because everything was cool between them. There wasn’t anything to get upset about. She couldn’t very well delete him now, could she? He would wonder what he’d done wrong.

  She looked back down at the laughing photo. No, Holly wouldn’t delete him. But she sure as hell was going to unfollow him so she didn’t have to look at photos like that ever again.

  She looked over at Max, who caught her eye and put on her most seductive smile.

  Chapter 7

  Emma

  Emma pulled her phone out to get some videos of the pool party to upload to her Instagram. She knew she would be inundated with messages asking where she got her beautiful white bikini from (a freebie from a new swimwear company) or people asking for advice about Vegas and where to go. Posting on Instagram was addictive. Emma honestly couldn’t remember the last day she hadn’t posted something. She’d been ill the previous year and had felt guilty for not posting as much as usual after spending nearly a week holed up with tonsillitis. She had even created a video just to apologize to people who liked being updated with her new make-up routine or what new outfit she was wearing. People were actually messaging her and asking where she was, as if it was the end of the world that she hadn’t posted in a while. As though they needed their Emma fix. It was crazy, but it had become normal life for Emma. The amount of people wishing her well that week had been incredible. Emma felt like some kind of celebrity. She felt like someone valued, special and important. She couldn’t deny it boosted her ego and made her feel good in a way nothing else could. Watching as hundreds of people liked her photos, reading their lovely comments and receiving the private messages; many offers from various companies and brands wanting to send her freebies just so she advertised them in a post. Her numbers of followers just kept on rising and rising. The amount of likes she received continued to increase every week. Her business was growing at a rapid speed – Emma could hardly keep up. That’s when Charlie reminded her how lucky she was to have him to help; he often dealt with lots of the enquiries. He often told her what she was doing and when.

  She wanted to get a quick video before she had to leave to look at the flowers. Emma put her camera in selfie mode and smiled, whilst waving her hand in time to the music. She then turned it round in the direction of the others who waved and cheered. Everyone apart from Charlie, who pretty much rolled his eyes and turned the opposite way. It hadn’t gone unnoticed to Emma.

  ‘Does it ever get exhausting always having to update your fans?’ Frankie asked, standing beside her with a grin as Emma tapped away on her phone adding the location of where they were to her video story.

  ‘Sometimes,’ Emma answered truthfully. She’d never really admitted that before. Charlie had recently been making snide comments, especially if she was posting something in which he wasn’t included. He was always fine accepting the free trips and gifts she got from companies that included him. If he was in the photo, he always seemed more than happy to pose. It just seemed that recently, he’d been putting Emma’s job down and making her feel as though she should be doing something normal like working in an office or cutting people’s hair. He made her feel as though she was vain for constantly taking photos. She constantly had to remind him that it had all been his idea in the first place. Emma had actually asked herself the same question on many occasions: did it make her narcissistic indulging in so many selfies, even though it was her job?

  ‘Certainly not a bad job though, is it?’ Frankie said encouragingly to reassure her he wasn’t putting it down. ‘I guess it’s just one you never really get a break from. Still, not your typical nine to five. I think it’s great. I know I’d happily be a blogger over working in finance,’ he admitted.

  He was certainly right that Emma never really got a break from it. If she was really honest, there were some times where she felt like she wasn’t actually living these moments she was capturing on camera and showing the world. The trip to the Maldives was an example. She’d gone with Charlie for the New Year and every time she saw a beautiful setting, she just couldn’t help but think, this will make a great photo. Had she truly appreciated it or just admired it through a lens?

  ‘Why don’t we just go out as we are tonight?’ she remembered Charlie saying one evening. They’
d been on a boat and for a swim in the sea. Emma looked like a drowned rat with her tangled wet hair and her face free of make-up. She was only wearing a cheap, plain kaftan too.

  ‘No,’ she recalled protesting, ‘I want a shower and to get ready. I want to wash my hair and freshen up.’

  Had she really wanted to do that though? Or was it just because she wanted to take the stunning photo they got that evening of them in front of a sunset on the beach? Emma had wanted to look nice in the image so she could post it. There wasn’t any room for ‘normal’ on her Instagram feed. She wanted to keep up the pretence that she had the perfect, magical life and just so happened to always look amazing twenty-four hours a day. She and Charlie had argued that evening and she remembered going to bed without even saying goodnight. That certainly hadn’t made it onto her Instagram feed.

  Then there were the horrible comments from the trolls. It was funny, the name ‘troll’, a term used for people who made nasty remarks anonymously from behind a computer screen, but it was a perfect really. When Emma thought of that word, she thought of a little green goblin kind of person, cowardice and ugly on the inside. Emma could never quite get her head around the fact that people could be so mean to someone they’d never even met. Someone they didn’t know. Luckily she didn’t get too many horrible comments, but just like anyone who had a lot of followers, it came hand in hand with the game.

  You’ve airbrushed your photo. So pathetic, she clearly recalled someone writing once. (She hadn’t actually ‘airbrushed’ anything, didn’t have a clue how to Photoshop, but she couldn’t pretend she didn’t pick the most flattering filter and adjust the lighting and saturation of her images. But everyone did that, didn’t they?)

  Your forehead is sooooo big another had said. (Emma was looking in the mirror at every chance she got that day and even measured it and Googled average forehead size. Hers was completely in range.)