The Morning After the Wedding Before

by Laura Ziepe

  ‘Yes, but you didn’t run it past me. I feel like sometimes you’re using my name to get jobs you want without even mentioning it to me. Are there other things you’ve done like that behind my back other than the things I’ve recently seen?’ She kept her voice soft. She didn’t want to argue, but she knew she had to say it.

  Charlie huffed. ‘Big deal, I used your name. You were getting involved in it too, weren’t you?’

  ‘Yes, but that’s because I’m the one with the large amount of followers.’ She hated saying it. She didn’t want to mention that he would never get to do it without her. Brands wanted exposure and they would only get that through her. She didn’t want to ever hurt his feelings, but Emma couldn’t help but feel he was using her. Was he so interested in her career because he wanted a piece of it too? She hoped not, but couldn’t stop wondering now.

  ‘Not everything is about you, Emma,’ he shot back spitefully. ‘Were you worried I was going to take a bit of your limelight or something?’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ Emma sighed, incredulous at his words.

  ‘It’s so easy for you,’ he continued. ‘Everyone wants you to wear their clothes and promote their brand. So what if I wanted do something myself for a change. I’ve helped you enough in the past, haven’t I? Don’t I deserve a bit of spare cash too?’

  Holly’s brows formed a perplexed frown. ‘Charlie, you’re acting jealous,’ she remarked. She was feeling more confident than usual because she was marrying him tomorrow and this was her last chance to say how she felt. He was in a good mood too, so she knew he wouldn’t be as aggressive and exasperated as he could sometimes be. ‘I don’t mind helping you to do the things you want, of course I don’t. I want you to be successful too; I’ve never, ever wanted it to be all about me, you know I’m not like that. But you should have asked me first. It looks a little sly doing things like that behind my back and not keeping me in the loop over my own emails. Even the other day at the florists I felt embarrassed that you’d got the price even lower and I knew nothing about it.’

  ‘Surely you’re not going to complain about me saving us money?’ He looked aggrieved.

  Emma shook her head. ‘I just don’t think it’s a good idea if you get involved in my business any more. It doesn’t mean I’m not grateful or appreciate the things you’ve done. It doesn’t mean I won’t help you either. But you always did it because you wanted to. I never asked, Charlie. You’ve always insisted. I just don’t feel comfortable with it any more,’ she confessed bravely.

  He showed his palms. ‘Fine, I won’t help any more,’ he said, looking beaten and as though he was worried that if he objected, he would lose her. He held her hand to his heart. ‘I promise, whatever you want, Em. Things will be different. Just tell me you’re going to marry me tomorrow.’ He laughed nervously.

  Emma paused, staring at him. Was he just saying what he knew Emma wanted to hear? She wasn’t certain she believed he would stay out of her business, but she decided she had to believe him.

  ‘Yes,’ she said finally, unable to help but smile. ‘Why can’t you be like this all the time?’ she asked in a quieter voice, willing him to see how happy he made her when he was so easy-going and caring. Just stay exactly like this and everything will be fine.

  He kissed her then and she felt her worries starting to drift away.

  ‘Before you know it, we’ll be married and starting our next chapter together. I hope you get pregnant straight away,’ he said wistfully.

  The words made Emma’s heart turn to ice and she wasn’t expecting it. She wanted a baby more than anything, but not like this. Not with her relationship being the way it was. Holly had been right. It wasn’t a healthy environment to bring a new innocent life into, and until they managed to sort through their problems, Emma wasn’t going to be trying for a baby, but she would keep this quiet for now. She didn’t want to make him angry.

  ‘So,’ Charlie said, ‘sounds like you have lots planned today, doesn’t it? Where are you off to? Hair trial and then the spa with the girls, did you say?’

  ‘Yes,’ Emma replied, trying to brush away her concerns about their future and only focus on the fact that Charlie said he would change. ‘Then out later on afterwards. I’m not sure where to yet; Danni and Fran have arranged it.’

  His tone changed to one of authority. ‘Well, don’t be getting too drunk, will you?’ He reprimanded her as though she was a little girl who had been told to not eat all her sweets at once. ‘I want you fresh and ready for tomorrow.’

  ‘Oh lighten up,’ she attempted to bring back his calm, sweet, soft side. ‘We aren’t even planning to drink.’

  His jaw clenched and a vein pulsed in his temple. ‘You’d better not.’

  Just like that, the nice Charlie was gone.

  Chapter 22

  Kim

  Kim tossed and turned in the huge bed and punched the pillows, huffing in frustration. She couldn’t sleep. It had been the most terrible night, lying there, thinking about her marriage and questioning her behaviour over the years. She must have only slept for about three hours before waking up in sweat-drenched sheets, as she gasped for breath. She must have been dreaming. Or in the middle of a nightmare.

  She couldn’t stop thinking of the odd little comments Andy had made over the years and how she had just brushed them under the carpet. When Mylo was born, Kim had felt such an instant rush of love that she never wanted to put him down. Looking back, she had hogged him . If someone else was holding him, she couldn’t help but try to steal him back, saying he needed a feed or something. Perhaps she had been a bit OTT and obsessive, but she couldn’t help it. Kim had breastfed and she’d been really pleased that she’d found it so easy and natural. On the odd occasion that she’d expressed her milk and Andy fed him, Kim couldn’t help but correct the way he was doing it.

  ‘Maybe just hold his head up a little bit more?’ she’d suggest. ‘He likes to have a little break sometimes, to bring up any wind he has. Here, do you want me to do it?’

  Andy would always end up handing him back over so Kim could show him how to do it correctly and she remembered he mentioned a few times that he felt a ‘spare part,’ but Kim hadn’t really taken him seriously. If she was honest, she always worried that because Andy hadn’t felt ready to become a father, he wouldn’t want to do these things anyway, so she’d always told herself she would be the one to take charge. She didn’t want Andy to feel as though his life had changed that much. She only ever wanted him to be happy, but perhaps she’d shut him out too much? Maybe she hadn’t included him to the point that he did just feel like a spare part?

  ‘Let’s have a night off,’ she recalled him saying when Mylo had been about five months old. ‘My mum has agreed to stay over and have Mylo the night. Come on Kim, it will be lovely. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to say no to a peaceful night’s sleep. I was thinking of staying in this new hotel in London. Looks amazing it does, look at the cocktail bar!’ he’d said animatedly, flapping his hand at the image on his iPad.

  Kim had smiled politely, but she knew there was no way she was leaving Mylo. She would have to let him down gently. Andy just didn’t seem to understand why she didn’t want to leave. She was breastfeeding and Mylo would only settle with her at night. No offence to Helen, Andy’s mother, either, but she wouldn’t look after Mylo like Kim would. Helen did this weird baby voice whenever she was around Mylo, and instead of making him smile, Mylo usually just looked at her as though she was the most peculiar person he’d ever seen. Another time, just after Kim had fed him, Helen asked to hold him and kept doing this strange rocking motion. Kim just knew he was going to be sick. She’d warned Helen once, but she hadn’t listened, and the next thing they knew Helen had baby puke all over her white blouse. The thought of going off without Mylo just didn’t appeal to her. She knew Holly would have jumped at the chance if her mother-in-law had offered, but Kim didn’t feel like she needed a break. She simply didn’t want one.

  Tim
e after time, Andy would try to get her to go out, and there must have only been a couple of times since the children were born when Kim had actually agreed. She guessed she needed to loosen up a little where her children were concerned.

  ‘I love you so much, Mylo,’ Kim had said when he’d fallen over in the garden and she was comforting him, placing a plaster on his leg. ‘Out of all the boys in the world, I love you the most,’ she kissed him, before looking up at Andy. ‘Apart from Daddy as well, of course.’

  ‘Ha,’ Andy gave a short bark of laughter. ‘Don’t worry, I know where I stand.’

  Kim assumed he was joking so she’d just rolled her eyes at the comment, but now she was unsure. Had Andy felt jealous of their children getting all her love and affection? Was he really that guy?

  The sound of Holly stirring in bed disturbed Kim from her thoughts.

  Holly sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes. ‘God, I need a coffee,’ she said. ‘Shall we go and get that really nice breakfast we had the other day in that café downstairs? I could kill for those pancakes again.’

  Thirty minutes later they were tucking into breakfast.

  ‘I can’t wait to just relax in the spa today,’ Holly told her, blowing her coffee. ‘It’s going to be so nice. I can’t remember the last time I had a massage.’

  ‘Me neither,’ Kim replied, thinking back. Pampering herself was a thing of the past. ‘What are you going to do when you see Max again?’ she wondered aloud.

  ‘Nothing,’ she shrugged. ‘If he tries to even so much as talk to me, I’m going to tell him where to go.’

  Kim nodded, thankful her friend didn’t blame her. ‘Max is an idiot, Holly. A good-looking one, but an idiot all the same. You deserve the best man there is and he’s a dick.’

  Holly had a faint smile on her lips. ‘I know I deserve better. I’m honestly fine though; we’re just not suited. Max is a party boy and I’m a mother of two. Onwards and upwards. It was a fun, one-night fling and I’m going to leave it at that.’

  Kim paused. ‘Exactly. You know, being here has made me realize how I’m always so sensible and serious nowadays. I’m always focusing on being the perfect mother. I’m always so concerned about looking after my family that I guess I’ve forgotten about myself along the way.’ She wanted to say as well as Andy too, but remained silent.

  ‘It’s sometimes hard not to,’ Holly sympathized.

  ‘I know,’ Kim said. ‘I think I suddenly just realized that I’m only thirty-two and getting old before my time. Seeing all the others arrive looking really excited made me want to join in. Once I got in the mood, that was it. I feel like I finally found the key and unlocked my fun side again.’

  ‘You’re such a good mum, you deserve to let your hair down. I miss the children so, so much,’ Holly confessed, her eyes watering as she spoke. ‘I’m usually always so desperate to get a break from them. It’s not easy being a single mum to two small children, but being here, I’ve realized just how much I’ve grown up. How much I actually adore being with them, even though at times they drive me crazy. I can’t wait to get back home to normality and doing all the everyday mundane tasks. Rob texted me this morning saying that Lottie is fine and the meet with Nikki went well. That’s good of course, but it just makes me want to get back all the more.’

  ‘Of course it does,’ Kim said sympathetically, understanding where Holly was coming from. It couldn’t be easy splitting up and then your ex meeting someone else when you shared children. Kim couldn’t think of anything worse than another woman playing mother to her two. It was the final wake-up call she needed to realize that she had to talk to Andy about their relationship. She had to find out what was going on with Lily rather than burying her head in the sand, before they destroyed their marriage. ‘I feel bad for actually enjoying myself. Being here has made me appreciate a bit of time to myself. Just because I’m married with children doesn’t mean I have to lock myself at home all the time and never go out. When we get back, I promise to arrange some fun things for us to do. We can arrange babysitters and invite some others along too. Girl time is important and I can see how I’ve somehow forgotten all about that. Since I’ve been here I haven’t laughed as much for years. Only having to think about myself for once has seemed alien to me, but I’ve kind of enjoyed it. Is that bad?’

  ‘Of course not,’ Holly told her earnestly. ‘Being a mum can be so hard; the job is twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. When you do finally have some time off, why shouldn’t you be able to enjoy it without feeling guilty?’

  ‘I guess you’re right,’ Kim nodded, deep in thought. She was going to do her very best to enjoy herself in the last few days, but she couldn’t shift the dreaded feeling in the pit of her stomach, no matter how hard she tried. Kim knew she was going to have to have a serious chat with Andy as soon as possible.

  She just hoped that it wouldn’t devastate her perfect little family.

  Chapter 23

  Holly

  Holly felt as though she was choking on hair spray and chuckled when Frankie started having a coughing fit.

  ‘Bloody hell, how much of that stuff does she really need in her hair?’

  ‘We need it to hold it in place,’ she informed him. ‘Trust me, the last thing she would want on her wedding day is her hair coming out,’ she said, pinning the last piece.

  They were in Emma’s room that she’d booked to stay in that night alone, so she wouldn’t see Charlie on the morning of the wedding.

  ‘Though to be fair you would still be there to pin it back,’ Emma noted, ‘but nonetheless I do want perfect hair for my wedding day,’ she smiled.

  ‘So,’ Holly said, as she added the last pin and ran the mermaid waves through her fingers. ‘What do you think of this?’

  Holly span Emma’s chair round so she was facing Frankie and handed her a small hand-held mirror so she could see the back.

  Frankie stared at Emma in silence. ‘I think it looks perfect,’ he said, voice full of confidence. ‘Really beautiful. Charlie will love it like that.’

  ‘Oh wow, Em, it looks so nice,’ Kim chimed in.

  ‘Holly, you’re so talented,’ Emma said, her face aglow with delight. ‘I’m so glad you’re my friend,’ she giggled. ‘This is exactly the sort of thing I wanted. I actually think you’ve nailed it in one go.’

  ‘I agree,’ Frankie said with certainty. ‘Your hair suits you wavy, Emma. Honestly, you’re going to look incredible.’

  Emma blushed a little. ‘Ah Frankie, you’re so sweet. That’s why I brought you today, for comments like that,’ she joked. ‘Do you think we should try it up anyway? Just in case?’

  ‘I honestly don’t think you need to,’ Frankie announced. ‘You never wear your hair up, do you? I think having half up and half down is perfect.’

  ‘I agree,’ Kim said with a nod. ‘It looks like bridal hair, but still like you.’

  Emma looked in the mirror for a few more seconds. ‘Well, that’s it then,’ she beamed, ‘my wedding hair is all sorted. I’m starting to feel nervous now; there’s nothing else to do, is there?’

  ‘I picked up the wedding table plan this morning,’ Frankie told her. ‘You’re going to love it.’

  ‘Oh, thanks so much, Frankie. I’d forgotten all about that,’ Emma flashed him a gracious smile. ‘How do the rose-gold flowers look on there?’ She turned to Kim and Holly, ‘I’ve got this gorgeous rose-gold photo frame with this pretty faux flower design on one side. Frankie found the company that did them here.’

  ‘Honestly, it’s bang on. You will love it,’ Frankie said.

  ‘That’s good,’ Holly replied, looking satisfied.

  ‘You seem like a great help,’ Holly told Frankie. ‘If I ever get married, I may employ you to help me,’ she laughed.

  ‘Ha. Weirdly enough, I’ve actually quite liked helping out. I know Emma’s taste so well now, I feel like I could pick things out myself without even asking her.’

  ‘You’re right, to be fair. Frankie ev
en picked the flowers,’ Emma said, looking thankful. ‘He knows how much I’ve appreciated every little thing he’s done.’

  Frankie looked away, as though he was a little flustered by all the praise. ‘So girls, where are you all off to now?’

  ‘Spa,’ Kim said. ‘I cannot wait to just relax and unwind for the day.’

  ‘Me too,’ Emma said.

  ‘In that case, I’m going to love and leave you girls. Maybe we’ll see you later on or something.’

  ‘Thanks so much for coming, Frankie,’ Emma said, jumping up to hug him. ‘And for everything. I couldn’t have done it without you.’

  The spa was everything Holly had imagined. Warm, with the scent of eucalyptus and rosemary; soft, calming music playing in the background, romantically lit with tea-lights everywhere. Even the staff spoke in tranquil, soothing voices. Dressed in her luxuriously fluffy dressing gown and slippers, Holly felt quite sleepy.

  ‘We’ll have our massages first,’ Emma said, speaking in a lowered voice to not disturb the peaceful atmosphere. ‘Then we’ll all meet in the hot tub and pool area and then head for our Prosecco lunch.’

  ‘Sounds like heaven,’ Kim replied dreamily. ‘I had so little sleep last night that I wouldn’t be surprised if I drift off during the massage.’

  Holly had to admit, it did sound like bliss. Her last spa trip had definitely been before Lottie and Jacob were born; maybe they could organize more days out together like this when they were home? Everyone needed a bit of rest and recreation sometimes.

  Kim and the other girls were called by their masseurs and taken off into various treatment rooms leaving Holly and Emma alone.

  ‘How are you feeling after last night? Did you speak to him? Did you manage to tell Charlie how you feel?’